I don't care much about anything. 

This is what I've realized about myself one day. In my head I tried to refute that statement and I attempted to convince myself that I do care about others and so much more. But as life continued on by I started to come to the conclusion that my own self assessment was correct and I couldn't help but feel bad about myself that this was the truth.

When I found this about myself I put in an effort to rectify this part of me. Thankfully I've made a huge headway towards this, but for that I have to thank my parents. If it wasn't for them I would've probably been a huge indifferent douche to everybody in my life. Of course even though I have been acting better I still don't care much.

There are only 3 main things I care about which are me, my family, and books. This is what I found out about myself, but just because this is true it doesn't give me the right to ignore everything else around me. I think I already thought this but my parents were the ones to drive this home when I revealed my dilemma to them.

In reality I haven't changed much from back then the only difference is that I know how to act better and be kinder to others. Inside I wish that I didn't have to do this whole shebang, but I promised myself and my parents to try and become something better. My parents already think I accomplished this goal since the way I was before and how I act right now are like night and day. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was only acting my whole betterment as a person.

I couldn't stop myself from feeling disgusted at my own behavior since I'm essentially lying to everyone I meet about who I truly am. This also supports the fact that I'm nothing but a hypocrite disguising myself as a good person. The only really good thing about this is that I at least don't treat everyone coldly, ignore everyone around me, being a total douchebag about every single thing, and taking everything out at other people.

I at least felt bad of what I've did in that time, so that is a step in the right direction. Sadly I was like this for a whole year so everyone in school treats me like I'm invisible due to my past actions. My classmates do know that I am not being horrible this year unlike the last one, but they only think that I'm acting or something of that nature in which to their credit that is true. 

The only problem with that is I won't become a honest to god good person at this rate. To solve this I need to talk with them even if their first reaction would be to ignore me or lash out. I already tried to do this and I approached my classmates, but the only thing that I could do was stammer like a idiot in front of them. For some reason I develop a bit of social anxiety when I try to talk with my classmates which is bad since it is a roadblock in my goal.

At this point I didn't know what to do to get past my problem and at this point I might revert to my past self. Maybe I should just st—*THUNK*

"Ah! Fu— I mean fudge what the heck was that." I started rubbing my head in which I saw I walked into a lighting pole in my absent-mindedness. Good thing I am one of the few people who walks in this sidewalk or else it would have been very embarrassing to be watched by many people.

As I side-stepped the lighting pole my foot found purchase to an unknown object below causing me to go unbalanced and slip. "No, not again you son of—." *THUD*

My cursing got cut short as my body landed in a spectacular fashion towards the pavement floor. I raised myself groggily up from the ground only getting minor injuries from my slip. I looked around below me to see on what I slipped on and the only thing I found was a book lying close to me.

I picked it up and began to curiously examine it as it only had an empty brown front and back cover. As I continued to examine it I found out that it was a really weird book because it didn't have any type of summary, title, description, and there were only random words littered throughout all the pages. The only clue that I had was a name inscribed in the spine of the book spelling out [Aaron Lawton] in cursive.

I would've left it where I found it but to me it seemed that no one else was going to pick it up and the book already looked old and tattered, so it looks like the owner wasn't coming any time soon to pick it up. Plus to be honest I am curious if the random words inside mean anything, maybe like a secret code? Though most likely it is purely gibberish and I'm picking up trash from the ground.

"What the hell might as well take it, there's nothing bad about doing this anyway." I mumbled to myself as I put the book under my armpit close to my chest and I started to walk back towards my home. 

I didn't know it at the time but that book changed my whole life and this is where my story began.