“Kai!!” Lay called out the name of the person whose face was haunting his dreams the whole time as he quickly sat up on the bed. Frantically looking around, he found out that he was at the local clinic but the man he was looking for was nowhere around. 

 

   “You’re awake.” 

 

   Lay turned with hopeful eyes towards the voice yet he was met with disappointment when he didn’t spot a pair of icy blue eyes.

 

   “Don’t look so disappointed, buddy.” Ash clicked his tongue as he stepped closer to the bed. He checked something in the documents he was holding in his hands and wrote down information from the machine standing by Lay’s bed, monitoring his vitals.

 

   “Where is Kai?” Lay asked impatiently. “Is he okay?” 

 

   Ash sensed the anticipation in the man’s voice yet he decided to keep him hanging for a bit longer as a little personal pay back. He just kept mumbling to himself something about the prognosis of the patient. 

 

   “Ash please. Tell me what happened? Why isn’t he here? Wasn’t he injured? Why am I the only one here?” 

 

   He kept showering the man with questions, with his eyes scanning his surroundings over and over again as if Kai could appear out of nowhere. He feared the worst.

 

   “He’s safe,” Ash finally decided to ease Lay’s mind as he took pity on their whole situation. He was still upset about the way this man brought such chaos into their lives but he couldn’t blame him either. 

 

   “Where is he??” Lay questioned him eagerly.

 

   “He’s at home, resting.” 

 

   “So he got hurt??” His expression grew more and more worried and he ran a hand through his messy hair. “It’s all my fault,” he mumbled to himself and felt like he’s about to cry. “I should’ve protected him.” 

 

   “Yes, you should’ve,” Ash agreed and finally put away the folder of documents to examine Lay’s head injury. “What is the last thing you remember?” 

 

   “Uh… we were ambushed in that back alley.”

 

   “Right. And?” 

 

   “There were three of them. They attacked us and… and then it’s all in the haze. I just remember flashes but it doesn’t make sense,” Lay blurted out, furrowing his eyebrows as he kept going through his scattered thoughts.

 

   “What flashes?” Ash asked him when he made sure all his reactions were alright. 

 

   “There were moments when I regained consciousness,” he started speaking, “and I saw Kai and those men fighting. What’s weird is I remember Kai as the last one standing. But that’s not possible. The thugs were armed and-“

 

   “Well isn’t my friend amazing?” Ash smirked, enjoying the confusion written all over the man’s face. 

 

   “Did he really beat them? He got out of there alive?” Lay couldn’t believe what he just heard. 

 

   “Mhm,” Ash nodded.

 

   “What happened? H-How?” 

 

   “You better ask him yourself, buddy,” Ash patted his shoulder. “We will release you in a while since you seem to be okay. I was afraid your injury would act up again but you’re one lucky bastard.” 

 

   “Thanks, doc,” Lay looked up at him with grateful smile. “Really.” 

 

   “You can thank me later. You guys still owe me an explanation,” Ash pretended as if he didn’t know much since Kai asked him to do so before he left. 

 

   “I promise,” Lay nodded eagerly as he kept fidgeting with his hands, ready to get the hell out of there. He needed to see Kai and make sure he’s okay. 

 

   Thousands of questions floated around his head and he yearned to find his answers. The confusion kept nagging his brain to the point he felt as if it was torn apart but he did everything he could to try and stay sane. 

 

   Ash offered to drive him to the beach house and Lay took this time to carefully list through the hazy memories from the previous night. Was he hallucinating?

 

   He clearly remembered Kai’s voice echoing through the alley. But the man he saw in those moments was nothing like the one he was used to being around every day. The agility of his body and the way he fought could be compared to people with professional training and the fact that Kai ended up winning over all three of them only supported the theory that he was no ordinary guy. Lay doubted that those moves came from just casual bar fights or brawls with his classmates. 

 

   “Remember to take some rest, alright? I know you both have a lot to think about but you’re also both injured, alright? I am speaking to you as a friend and a doctor as well- take it easy,” Ash reprimanded the man next to him as he parked the car in front of the beach house. 

 

   “Got it,” Lay nodded but his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

 

   “I will come check on you after I am done with work. Whatever happens I hope I will find you both alive.” There was a hint of warning in Ash’s voice yet his eyes carried a sense of concern. 

 

   “I would never hurt him,” the other whispered, his eyes looking into the distance. He would never dare to harm the man who saved his life so many times. No matter what he was indebted to him and he will do everything in his powers to pay him back. 

 

   Ash remained silent for a moment pondering over whether he should let out those words that were burning on his tongue. 

 

   After a few more seconds he took a shaky breath and decided to speak, “Yet he got hurt.” 

 

   Lay’s dark eyes turned to him, filled with despair and guilt. 

 

  “I know,” he whispered. 

 

  “You better make this right,” Ash said sternly. “I never want to see him in such a state, ever again.” 

 

  “I know,” Lay repeated. 

 

  “He cares about you… a lot. And he’s willing to fight for you,” Ash continued as his gaze landed on the beach house that was peeking out from behind the palm trees.

 

  “I know.” 

 

  “Then if you do, you should also know that this will bring nothing good into his life. He doesn’t see it because he likes you but he could lose everything if he decides to fight for you.” 

 

   Those words were like knives slicing off pieces of flesh off of Lay’s body. He wouldn’t mind the pain that they caused if it wasn’t for the fact Ash was right. He was aware that the bond between him and Kai would only cause problems for the younger man who so desperately tried to lead an easy life. Kai deserved better. 

 

   Lay nodded, taking all the words that were said into consideration. “I will talk to him and make this right.” 

 

   “I want you to know that I don’t hate you,” Ash spoke up as he reached out to hold onto Lay’s strong arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I really don’t.”

 

   A weak smile appeared on Lay’s lips as he nodded again, “The feeling’s mutual, doc.” 

 

   Both men in the car remained in silence, trying to hold onto the last remains of this carefree relationship they used to have. In such a short amount of time they gained a friend like no other. 

 

  Ash was sure that if he were to meet this bastard somewhere at a bar he would drink with him all night, talking about all kinds of nonsense until his stomach would hurt from laughing too much. He was that kind of person and it felt unfair that he had to give him up for the sake of this twisted destiny. 

 

   “I have a favor to ask,” Lay was the one to break the silence. 

 

   Ash only nodded, signaling for him to continue.

 

   “I have no idea how this will turn out but please promise me to take care of Kai.” It was breaking Lay’s heart to say those words out loud because it meant he was admitting to the possibility that he will have to leave this place to keep everyone safe. He didn’t want to leave any of them behind, especially the man he ended up falling for in such a short amount of time despite their differences and the peculiarities that led them to meet. 

 

    “I will. Always,” the older of the two looked at him with determination but his eyes were filled with sadness. He didn’t wish for his best friend to lose this person he cared about. But he knew they needed to keep him safe. “But you have to promise me something in return,” he objected.

 

   Lay looked at him, willing to accept his conditions at all costs. 

 

   “No matter what or how long it takes… you need to come back.” Ash didn’t care if he was asking for impossible. He wanted to know there’s a chance for the two to meet again. “Otherwise I will find you instead and it’s not going to be pretty. I don’t care who you are or what you’re capable of. I swear I will-“

 

   “-I don’t need to hear the details,” Lay cut him off hastily, not sure if he wanted to hear all the things Ash would do to him if he let him down. “I promise.”

 

   “Okay. Now go, he’s waiting for you.” Ash finally let go of Lay’s arm and watched as the man got out of the car and made his way towards the beach house. 

 

   “Unlucky fucking bastard,” Ash muttered unter his breath when he saw him step inside the house which was the sign for him to leave. 

 

   The foreboding feeling of something bad coming their way didn’t leave even though Ash tried to gaslight himself into thinking that everything is going to be alright. He desperately wanted to believe that everything will go back to the way it was and Kai will keep living the life he fought so hard to gain. But the little voice inside his head was telling him that nothing will ever be the same.

   The dark haired man stepped inside the house, feeling as if it was the first time he came there. The heavy atmosphere immediately weighed him down and every step he took felt extremely exhausting as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. His stormy eyes searched the house until they finally spotted the young man curled up on the armchair by the window. He seemed to be asleep but as Lay got closer, he noticed how his body was shivering slightly, his hand’s twitching as if they wanted to grab onto something. Mumbling something under his breath, Kai was engulfed in his nightmare. 

 

   Lay cursed himself for not being by his side to chase those demons away once he spotted the drops of sweat on the younger man’s forehead. He’s already going through so much and he only added insult to the injury.

 

   Kneeling down beside him, Lay gently reached for Kai’s freezing cold hand. As he lifted it to his lips, he pressed a soft kiss against the back of Kai’s hand and watched as he furrowed his eyebrows. 

 

   He watched him with fondness and leaned closer to plant a kiss on his forehead, hoping to chase away the bad dream. 

 

   This time Kai registered the soft touch of someone’s lips on his skin and slowly pried his eyes open. After blinking for a few times to adjust his vision, he finally got to realize who was in front of him. 

 

   Not minding the pain it will cause him, Kai immediately threw his arms around Lay’s shoulders and squeezed him in a tight hug. 

 

   “Careful, careful!” Lay patted Kai’s back, inhaling his familiar scent. “You’re hurt.” 

 

   “You fucking idiot do you know how worried I was??” Kai pulled away to take a good look at his face that was decorated with bruises and small cuts. “I didn’t know when or if you would wake up and if you would remember. You already got hit in the head twice do you know how dangerous that is I-“ 

 

   Kai’s words were cut off by Lay who pulled him into a deep kiss. It was painful for both of them but they didn’t mind, the closeness they both hungered for was more important. They held onto each other with desperate fear that one of them would disappear into thin air if they weren’t close enough. A sense of relief washed over them as they deepened the kiss, refusing to let go until they gasped for air.

 

   “This is the last time you said I will get in the way, do you understand?” Kai mumbled against Lay’s lips, not letting go of the grudge he held against him. 

 

   A soft chuckle escaped Lay’s mouth and he leaned in for another kiss. 

 

   “If I knew you had such skills maybe I’d be less worried,” he admitted as he brushed his thumb over the bruise under Kai’s eye. “But you still got hurt because of me,” he mumbled with furrowed eyebrows. 

 

   “Says the one who spent the night in the hospital,” Kai smirked, trying to make light of the situation, although he felt the heavy feeling in chest that was crushing his pained heart. 

 

   “I am sorry, Kai.” 

 

  Kai shook his head and ran his hand through Lay’s messy hair. “Don’t.” 

 

  “Where are the people who attacked us?” Lay asked after he spent some more time in Kai’s embrace. 

 

   The younger man hesitated before he answered, “They’re at the police station. Ash has some connections with local officers so they locked them up and they won’t release them until they will speak- which they won’t because they cannot reveal their true intentions.” 

 

   Lay nodded as he listened to every word. 

 

   “But they won’t buy us much time,” Kai spoke as he slowly stood up from the chair. 

 

   “Where are you going?” Lay asked with panic written in his voice. 

 

   “Just to get some water,” Kai gave him a gentle smile and made his way to the kitchen. “Do you want something?” 

 

   Lay shook his head and followed Kai. His body was aching with every second they were apart, no matter how big the distance was. 

 

   “I want only you.” He wrapped his arms around Kai’s waist from behind as he pressed his body against his back. “Just you,” he mumbled, lips brushing against the skin of his neck, causing the man in his arms to shiver.

 

   Kai took a shaky breath and stole a few more moments in Lay’s arms like this. He felt as if every second he spent close to him was unimaginably precious. 

 

   “Have you ever thought about what kind of mess we got ourselves into?” The younger man closed his eyes and gently leaned against Lay who stood behind him. 

 

   “What mess?” Lay asked foolishly, willing to play dumb just to avoid the serious matter. “You mean your house? Yea it is a mess. Have you ever thought about cleaning it up?” he asked instead. 

 

   “Could you stop?” Kai rolled his eyes. “I am trying to have a serious conversation with you. 

 

   “And I am trying to avoid it,” Lay chuckled and gently grabbed Kai’s shoulder to turn him around so they could stand face to face. 

 

   A deep sigh escaped Kai’s lips and he closed his eyes for a second. 

 

   Lay leaned closer and pressed his lips against Kai’s forehead. “Could we pretend for a second?” 

 

   “What do you mean?” 

 

  “Could we pretend that none of this is happening?”

 

  “For how long? 

 

  “As long as we can,” Lay whispered as he looked down into those pale eyes clouded with countless chaotic emotions. “We didn’t have much time together and I still have so much to learn about you.” 

 

   “For example?” Kai got worried that this conversation would take an unpleasant turn. He didn’t want to go through all the explaining, at least not yet.

 

  “For example…” Lay leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling, taking his time to go through his questions. 

 

   Kai watched him with anticipation, observing his every movement.

 

   “For example- what is your favorite flower?” He turned his gaze back to Kai’s face, ready to see his reaction.

 

   Kai blinked in surprise as he was left speechless.  He expected all sorts of questions but not this type. But after a while he decided to play along and cleared his throat.

 

   “Forget-me-not.” 

 

   Lau laughed and shook his head. “I would never.” 

 

  “No,” Kai rolled his eyes. “That’s my favorite flower. Forget-me-not. Also known as Scorpion grasses.” 

 

   “Ahh,” Lay scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. “You mean the little blue ones?”

 

   “Mhm,” Kai nodded. “They remind me of my mother’s eyes. She also used to plant them in her garden back when I was a kid,” he explained, the fondness in his eyes reflecting those precious memories. 

 

   “Ah… Yea i know what they look like. You drew them in your sketchbooks quite a lot,” Lay pointed out without being ashamed for his snooping around. 

 

   Kai shook his head in amusement and made his way to his desk. He knew exactly which sketchbook to reach for which made Lay wonder whether he actually had some kind of order in all that mess. 

 

   “Here,” Kai handed him the book that was open on a page filled with little blue flowers with a yellow center. “Do you know the meaning behind them?” 

 

   Lay shook his head and brushed his fingers over the delicately painted flowers. 

 

   “My mom said they symbolize true love and respect.” 

 

   When the older of the two lifted his eyes from the pages he caught a glimpse of one single tear that rolled down Kai’s face. 

 

   “She said that if you give this flower to someone you love, it represents a promise that you will always remember them and will keep them in your thoughts. You’re telling them you will remain faithful and keep them in your heart,” Kai spoke with a trembling voice and didn’t dare to look up at the man in front of him. The tears in his eyes caused his vision to blur so all he could see were little blue smudges on the pages of his sketchbook. 

 

   “I think that’s beautiful,” Lay said softly and gently placed a finger under Kai’s chin to lift his face. “I will never forget you, Kai.” The words he spoke were rooted deep inside his heart and he believed with every part of his being that will not let this person slip through his fingers. Despite the promise seeming foolish, he was determined to keep it. 

 

   “Neither will I,” Kai replied and his lips curved in a soft smile. 

 

   That special smile he showed only in front of the man who turned his whole world upside down. 

 

   This man stepped into his frozen world, buried under layers of snow that covered the tormented lands of his lonely heart. And as he set foot on the crystal white surface he left a footprint that would not disappear. He slowly melted away the snowdrifts and ripped apart the heavy clouds to let the light in. 

 

   At last he felt the warmth he thought was long gone and almost ceased to believe it was real.