The big 40 has come.

Yes, Patricia Mikoto Jones is now old. Single and old, such a sad combination. To be fair, I don't look like I'm 40. Thank God for the asian’s immortal genes.

But why does my life feel so bland? It feels like each day was just slowly passing by. Nothing really good ever happens. To me at least.

I haven't been living it to be honest. I do have a job and friends. Love? Working on it. Sort of. Not really.

After 40 years of living, all I got was a routine of a life. Home. Work. Home. Work. With challenges but no excitement. So meh. I envy my friends, they have their own family, their own kids. Why can't I have that? Someone I can take care of and love.

The only excitement I ever got was from the novels I read. Hmm..Those were dreamy. Tragedy, angst, and challenges that end up with a happy ever after. Makes my heart flutter for a bit. Reminds me that I am human. This is the main reason that I collect books. The older and mustier the better. I swear, I smell history whenever I open one up. I spent most of the money in buying the books that I could get my hands to. So far I got about 500 in my collection. I have bills too so I can't really splurge.

These musty and moldy books are my babies. The really old ones are kept in an airtight case to prevent further deterioration.

I have been dreaming some really weird dreams lately. In my dream i felt maggots and decay covering my entire body, darkness enveloped me. I felt that my heart was torn to pieces and anguish filled me. I wanted to wake up but I couldn't. And then for a moment I see hope. I see a hand reaching out to me, but the face was blank. I hear a surprised intake of breath. Abruptly, the hand disappeared and the person ran away. I woke up screaming and sweaty. I have been dreaming about this for two weeks now. I dread going to sleep because of this.

I snapped out of my reveries when the phone rang. I picked it up and saw it was my best friend calling.

“What's up Suz?” Susan Hartland is my bestest friend and fellow bookworm. Susan and me are on the same boat, singletons forever.

“Trish! You better sit down first, you might faint” she said breathlessly.

“Why?? Did something happen?” I obediently sat down.

“You will not believe this!! Remember the ultimate book that we have been scouring auctions and bookshops for?”

Goosebumps. Oh. My. God. It's the book about the real story of the Japan’s God’s of Creation. 創造 or Creation.

“You found it???” I asked.

“Yes!” she excitedly replied

Oh. My. God! This is unreal!

“Did you buy it?” I asked, unable to stay still in my seat. My heart beating so fast.

“Uhhh..I don't have the monetary capability at the moment. I was hoping you had money stashed” Suz is a spendthrift. Her salary always disappears two days after she gets them.

“I think I still have some leftover” checked my bank balance on my mobile and it just might work.

This birthday might not be so bad after all.