It’s… D-dark… why is it so dark…? I… I died…. That’s right… I lost my life from a gunshot protecting My pregnant wife and son from a cruel man that invaded our farm, that man broke into our home during a nice morning and held my wife at gunpoint… She struggled but couldn’t break free.

 

    Fortunately, I was quickly able to draw my gun and shot the man in the neck… But he also pressed the trigger at the last moment and shot me in the lungs. I feel cold… but knowing My family survived made it all worth it…

 

    Is that crying I hear… I feel trapped in this dark cold space but I also feel warmth… like it’s a mother’s feeling. All I see is darkness… I can’t move at all and I can’t feel my body…

 

    I.. I see something it’s like a bright vertical oblong opening. It’s like…the opening is getting closer… and I can hear voices somewhere… and that obnoxiously loud crying is getting louder…

 

“Ms. Smith! She’s finally here, and she’s beautiful!”

 

“Why did I hear She?” I thought to myself.

 

     But as I opened my eyes I was face to face with a ginger haired girl with deep lavender eyes around her late teens, she was very beautiful… I was in what seemed like a beautiful antique house from the 1800’s, She was holding me gently. I was then handed over to a beautiful, well-endowed woman with blue eyes and long beautiful yellow hair… 

 

     Is that… my mother? That can’t be… I just died…. Was I reborn? So was that teenage girl could be a maid, my cousin or my sister. That also meant that the heavy crying was My first message to this world…

 

     My eyes felt heavy but before they shut off, She turned me to face a tall handsome man with black hair and silver eyes. Was he my father? And before I fell asleep I heard them talking.

 

“Congratulations on our baby girl’s delivery Holly!” My father said.

 

“Thank you for escorting mother in the delivery… Jonathan… But what shall we call our princess?”

 

“Hmm…. Let’s call her Gwen, in honor of your mother.”

 

     Gwen Huh… I don’t mind that name, it’s beautiful.

 

“That’s a wonderful choice~ Did you hear that Gwen? You’re now part of our Family.”

 

     Her voice sounded a bit weak, I couldn’t blame her though. Delivering a baby is no easy fit for any mother. Let’s just hope she doesn’t drop me…

 

“Don’t move too much, just rest for a while, I’ll watch over her.”

 

“Thank you dear~”

 

     It seems like they have a really good relationship with each other.  My father had a deep mature voice, and from the brief exchange, I couldn’t help but feel reminded of me and my wife from my past life…

“Um… Mr. and Mrs. Smith… I would like to say something…” said the maid.

 

     Apparently, the maid will be turning 18 years old 3 weeks from now, and My parents encouraged her to go back home for the next 3 weeks as long as she got back to the manor a few days before the 3 weeks end. This reminded me of the time when My Son asked me for a gift for his girlfriend’s mom.

 

     I couldn’t help but reminisce about my previous life. Back then I always used to take my family fishing, horseback riding, and hunting, I used to live on a li’l farm in the countryside. I lived with my pregnant Wife, our beautiful alongside our son and pet pit bulls.

 

     Unfortunately, I cannot just dwell on the past, I will not be sad over not being able to be with them… But I will be grateful and proud of those memories… I love you all stay healthy and god bless your souls… maybe someday we could meet in a different life… I will move forward and continue as “Gwen Smith” from House Smith!

 

     Roughly 8 weeks or 2 months have passed since my “re” birth.

 

     I was sitting alone in a wooden baby crib in my room, I “Stole a piece of paper and pencil from my father’s room after learning to crawl silently in the night and I was gonna write down what I learned 2 months ago and so far… here are the things I learned so far;

 

1.      I was reincarnated into a different world, the reason is the house’s decoration, furniture and style reminded me of the 1800s, not just that but my parent’s outfits reminded me of pioneers and old Western clothing.
2.      My second observation was that I’am the spitting image of my Mother, I had her beautiful baby face, her amazing blue eyes, and lastly a darker shade of her dandelion blonde hair.
3.      Third is that my family seems to be in the upper middle class, Due to my family living on a farm and having our farmlands and fields for raising livestock such as cows, pigs, horses, and ducks, while branch families range from raising other livestock such as ducks, buffalos, geese, sheep, and goats, to tailoring dresses for women and lastly being a hunter against wild animals.
4.      My mother was extremely doting towards me. She has apparently spent a lot of her personal time sewing baby clothes. I also overheard that she assists the maids in the house and treats them like family.
5.      Meanwhile, My father was a very protective towards the family. I heard from mom’s stories that he was a well-respected man in the community, He donates our freshly grown vegetables to the markets and neighbors as most of our income are from the livestock that the family raise.
6.      Racism and slavery towards elves, beastkin seem to be a prevalent thing in this world, because 3 days after I was born My dad took me to town and showed me what it was like there, the town was beautiful and cozy but there was a group of men who had a lot of elves who were chained, hand-cuffed and were being treated as lesser than human beings… Speaking of slavery back in my old world, African Americans were heavily subjected to slavery, it was abolished but in their home continent of Africa, slavery never ended, it actually got way more prevalent and there hasn’t been any movements that were made to stop it! 
7.     The town looked like the 1800’s where it was rather antique and very primitive. It didn’t have the dullness of my old world, the infrastructure was elegant and charming!
8.      And lastly… *sigh…* I can’t help but feel attracted to the ginger-haired maid, I can’t help feeling happy when she’s the one babysitting me. Was it because My late wife also had ginger hair? Shortly after she got back from her vacation, when father or mother wasn’t around she would be the one taking care of me

 

     Hold on…. Does this make me a creep? I was 55 in my past life, But I’am physically 2 months old, So that makes my mental age 55 + 2 months, meanwhile, this girl is in her late teens and She mentioned turning 18 years old 2 months ago so she is at legal age… but I’am physically 2 months old.

 

“Sigh… I still have to wait 18 years before I even think about attempting to ask her out… but that would make her 36 by then and she will likely be married at that point… what a bummer.”

 

     I learned to talk quickly, I just hid it from my parents and the house’s caretakers.

 

     If I’am a 55 year old man, doesn’t that mean I’m not allowed to talk, interact or date anyone my own current age and I’m only allowed to do those to other 55 year olds, But that doesn’t make sense, Because my parents only look like they are in their mid 20’s!

 

“If anything, I’m way older than my very own parents! Does that mean I shouldn’t even have any kind of interactions with the latter!?”

 

     This age crap is gonna kill me… however, this does remind me of the time in my previous life when I saw my son having an “Internet debate” about “Anime girls…” I asked to take a look at who he was arguing with and I teased him for being so passionate about the topic, and now I'm receiving My karma for it…

 

     If at birth I’am mentally 55 that would mean I can only interact with other people who look like they're in their 50’s, that sounds stupid. Not to mention this world isn’t my earth! So if anything I can’t always use my old life’s moral standards in this world because there are likely different laws and standards here! If anything I should be readjusting myself to the people in this world not the other way around!

 

“For all I know I might not even be the same person as the person in that “past life” and I’m simply sharing his memories and that I’am a completely different person!!”

 

     Do I even have the same soul as the one in my past life or did god embedded his memories to me a newborn kid!

 

“Was I supposed to only date someone that is 50+ when I’am a newborn infant!?” I scratched my head at the stupidity of the idea.

 

     Plus if I go through this only interacting with other old people I would look like a weirdo loner no only to my own parents and branch family but to the other kids and people in town! That would kill my social life!

 

      Son… I’m sorry for teasing you over your anime waifus… If anything why does my old age even matter outside of my internal thoughts!? Nobody is even gonna know about it So why am I wasting my time being hung up on what My “Mental age” is!?

 

“I made up my mind… No one would even know or care if I reincarnated… Does that concept even exist here!? If anything if I stopped acting like a newborn, the people here will just assume I have strict parents or that I’m just some sort of genius child prodigy!”

 

     That was my resolve… I will live a full life here!