"Any last words?"

Surprise turned into mirth as it downed on him that today was the day he would finally die, and that, at the hand of the person who he had once betrayed.

His sweet and docile brother.

"No" he had answered.

 

Five years ago.

Even though the night had long fallen and some places were already deep in slumber, the sound of Qin was going on and on seemingly louder with each passing second. It mattered not, however, for this establishment was most active at night and if it wasn’t for the music being played so loudly, ambiguous sounds would be heard instead. 

The Pavillion of Flowers. It wasn’t the first time that his elder brother brought him here, but Chang Shun still couldn’t help the deep flush that marred his face when remembering the meaning behind those noises. 

The first time his elder brother took him here willingly -and not just because Chang Shun was following him around- was a year ago. Upon realizing what kind of place it was, Chang Shun refused to step in.

“Calm down, your brother isn’t planning to corrupt you just yet. This is Miss Hua. The best player of Qin. She sells her skills, not her body. Even if you wanted, she wouldn’t be willing.”

Though he had yet to experience such things himself, it didn't mean he was ignorant of them. He shifted uncomfortably in his place looking at his empty cup then sneaking a peek at the man at the other side of the table. Leaning on the couch with his hair down, face slightly flushed from the alcohol consumption, his elder brother didn't have a dignified air around him at all at this very moment and looked more like those debauched people who liked attending these establishments of pleasure than the eldest young master he was. The person, who was previously gazing heatedly at the playing woman some feet ahead, sensed his brother's gaze and turned to him, a bright smile birthing on his face. A hoarse and loud voice was heard as he opened excitedly,

“Drink, drink, the night is still young,” laughed boisterously Chang Jin, while filling once more the youngster's cup with strong wine. “This is the best wine in the city, let us do it some honor.” While he was saying so, he tipped his head backward and directly help himself from the bottle.

“Elder brother, drinking so much, your body-”

The older one waved his hand unconcernedly, “It’s fine, it’s fine.”

Miss Hua kept on playing her instrument, not minding them. This frequent customer of hers wasn't difficult to please and actually didn't like being entertained at all. Though he would like to be talked to sometimes, most of the time the person only came here to eat, drink and listen to music; no extra activities included. And when his younger brother would come, she was mostly considered part of the background.

Chang Shun looked at the small cup full of transparent liquid in his hand, hesitated a bit, but still, drank it in one motion.

“Good, here another,” said the elder and the younger brother complied.

Chang Shun was sixteen this year, two months younger than Chang Jin. Not much older, really, but he had, for this brother, deep respect. They weren’t borne from the same mother but still, they shared a close relationship since young. Compared to their younger brothers and sisters, the two of them were the closest. Thus, Shun obviously knew then, that every time his brother came to this place, it meant that he wasn’t feeling well. And in these recent months, elder brother Jin came here more and more frequently. It was really a worrying matter.

When they were younger, this elder brother was their father’s favorite, but since that unnamed disease struck him, their father talked less and less to him and instructed him about family affairs even less. This led to the position of Chang Jin being somewhat awkward in the family.

The Chang family was a merchant family. A renowned one and as such, their properties were quite vast. Their father had one main wife and three concubines, though one already died a couple years ago. Everyone used to call Chang Jin the main heir, but they stopped doing so nowadays. Since his twelfth year, Chang Jin would sometimes vomit blood and faint in the middle of walking. In those years, Father Chang had exhausted all physicians of the city to treat him, but no one could, and in the end, it was more like, nowadays, everyone was waiting for him to die. Nonetheless, the child had a strong will to live and no matter which predictions were given by the physicians, he would still open his eyes the next day. That didn’t, however, erase the fact that no one considered him the heir anymore. Instead, the position became a debate between the three youngest sons. In all honesty, Chang Shun wanted none of that and was always trying to remain in the shadows of things. His family was good to him, though his mother died, the main wife never mistreated him; instead, took him under her wing and cared for him as if he was her own son. He had nothing to complain about. More so that he always had a good relationship with his big brother. If becoming heir meant estranging himself from this brother, then he was alright with letting it to others.

Though he thought like that, it was impossible to know other people’s inner hearts. As he gulped down the cups one after another, he didn’t even register when the qin’s player left their room nor that his body was becoming heavier.

“You really, ah,” he heard his brother’s faint whispers, a mixture of laughing and helplessness, before losing consciousness.

He later woke up to the sensation of someone putting clothes on him and as he opened his eyes, he saw his elder brother redressing himself, as he had effectively fastened a belt on his body. Looking down, Chang Shun saw that his modest clothes were changed to one of poor quality, tattered in some places. His hair ornaments weren't in place anymore, instead, his hair had been let loose and he could feel the cold air on his feet. Just where were his shoes?

“You woke up.” It was the voice of his brother.

In front of his kneeling and bound form, stood elegantly his brother who had already clasped his hands behind his back, his cheeks still slightly red, reminiscent of the wine he drank in excess the night before. Chang Jin was smiling, well, it was not quite a smile. A sort of stretch of his lips with no mirth or joy in his eyes whatsoever. It was chilling. “Are you ready for our farewell, my dear brother?”

The voice wasn't hurried, and the person stood patiently as confusion first appeared in Chang Shun's eyes, before realization slowly set in.

Chang Shun felt his heart miss a beat. Even until now, he was ready to lie to himself, ready to believe it if the other said it was a tasteless joke but… was he serious? Then his mind flashed back to all those signs he refused to see, refused to acknowledge as a kind of warning: his new clothes which were always leaving marks on his body to the point of forming wounds, his cleaning tools that had a strange smell and had burned his back, the vandalism of the stores he was in charge of and most recently the horse gifted by his brother going on a rampage and nearly killing him. It wasn’t that Chang Shun never really doubted, it was just that, this person would always be the very first one to come to his rescue concerning everything. Even with that horse, hearing what happened, that brother of his had paled and apologized in a deep bow, before bringing back the horse to sell, not willing for it to remain any longer. In those instances, whatever doubts Chang Shun had disappeared in a flash and he could only feel that in the end, what he was most afraid of, was when this person would bow to him and whisper in that deep apologetic tone: “I have failed you.”

How could the brother who had loved him so much then turn around and be the one wanting his life? There was no way he could accept that this person could ever think of harming him. However, why was the reality something like this? Why were his hands and feet bounded, made to kneel in front of this brother who looked down at him with an expression he had never seen him have before? Where was the one who, in their younger days, swore to always protect him until the day they died? Didn’t he emphasize then that it was the role of an elder brother?

“Why?” he asked hoarsely, the corners of his eyes stinging.

“Why? I supposed the direct reason would be that you’ve gotten Master Lin and Master Feng’s admirations and recommendations.”

Those were two hard-to-deal-with clients, they were old-fashioned and weren’t easy to bend when making new clothes. Last month, Chang Shun managed to have them both buy an enormous quantity of new materials though only...

“I… they bought from your stores!”

Indeed, he had convinced them to purchase the clothes that his elder brother had personally designed! Then why was he angry?

Master Chang had, since long ago, decided that his heir would be the one who knew how to manage his own stores well. So, for his four sons, he gave each one a couple of stores to manage. Though the master said so, no one really knew when the official date would be closed for that chosen position. Chang Jin had been given clothing stores while Chang Shun had been in charge of antique sales.

“And what a busybody you are... They refuse to meet with me while they were actually easily convinced by you. I think that that must be the reason: your talent.”

Tears were rolling down Chang Shun’s cheeks. He only wanted to help, why was his brother jealous of that?

At the sight of his crying form, Chang Jin frowned and said, with a hint of disdain,

“You look like your mother like this, she too liked to cry…” He looked absently at his kneeling brother, “even that woman too, liked to cry." Then a sneer appeared on his face, "Actually, all those women in the residence do, aren’t tears their favorite weapon? Are you a woman?”

Chang Shun bit his lower lip, but his tears still kept on falling. He knew, however, that from small to now, what his brother had always hated were tears. Youngers, when he would cry in front of him, his brother would be helpless and try every means to coax him, trying by all means to deal with the origin of his tears, and then said "Here, you have no more reasons to cry, right?" and when Chang Jin couldn't, then he would avoid his crying brother until the later calmed down. Fearing to be avoided, Chang Shun resolutely stopped crying.

Seeing that the other person was still crying no matter what, Chang Jin simply turned around, unwilling to see that tear-stained face and a sob seemed to escape Chang Shun's lips at this. Chang Jin froze but when he turned around the other's tears had actually doubled! He provoked then,

“You could have actually been her son with how easy you are to cry like this." He seemed incensed by his own words, his expression worsening, "You like calling her mother, don’t you? What if I tell you the one who actually killed your beautiful birth mother was the woman you have spent your whole life calling mother…" Unwilling to look anymore he turned around, "Shouting left and right, mother this, mother that, I wonder how many times your concubine mother turned around in her coffin. Such a filial son you are. Worshipping the very grounds her murderer walks on"

“You’re lying,” came the roar behind him, and Chang Jin turned to a face of fury now, though the eyes were still red. He seemed to appreciate this more, and crouched down to talk,

“Why would I? Did you know that you weren’t even Father’s child? Such a shameful affair, your death will only help conceal it. It’s better for our businesses, don’t you think? That’s what you owe the Chang family for feeding you all these years, after all.”

Chang Jin patted his brother’s cheek, almost affectionately, like in the old days,

“My pitiful second brother. Being so ignorant at your age is truly too shameful. You can thank me in the afterlife. Farewell.” Then he turned to the door while he was getting up, “Enter.”

Two burly men entered the place.

“Take him away and do what must be done. Be swift about it and should you fail, you will pay with your lives.”

Talking until here, he turned to the door and started to go, leaving his brother shouting at his departing form,

“Elder brother, you can’t. Elder brother! Elder brother!”

But the men who were restraining him gagged him and only groans could escape. From start to finish, his favorite brother didn’t turn to see him, didn’t heed him, and just exit the room. A cold sword pierced through his stomach, hot blood warming his clothes while his body was going cold. In a state of semi-consciousness, Chang Shun felt his body being moved and later being dumped unceremoniously.

Was he going to die here? Was he, really?

***

What could have happened to his brother? It hadn’t always been like that, it really hadn’t!

The brother in his memory was kind, gentle, laughing, and always looking out for him.

When they were younger who was the one holding his hand as he was scared of sleeping alone? Who was the one smacking those children who liked to mock his dark skin? How could that person bear to hurt him so? It was impossible, impossible.

However, as he woke up in a daze, his stomach bandaged but still pulsating with pain, he knew that it was not a nightmare at all. It was the frightening reality.

When did the lies start? At which point? When did that sincere concern become deceptive lies meant to fool him?

Chang Shun was unwilling!

An elder man entered the shabby room he was in then. He had awoken for a time now, to find himself in this place he couldn't recognize and his gaze met with the old man who was tending to his wounds. The person introduced himself as a retired physician named Yun.

“You’re quite lucky, young man," he had said, "who knew I would encounter someone when taking a walk at night?”

The old person seemed to like talking and started a lengthy explanation about how he found Chang Shun and even the position he was in. But from start to finish, the only person in the room with him didn't pay attention to his words at all, making him sigh in disappointment. What agony to be old and have no one to talk to! Really, youngsters these days, it was fine to not respond but won't he start giving his thanks anytime soon? Did he think it easy to bring him back here! 

No matter his dissatisfaction, his audience was simply in a state of shock for now.

Grumbling, the old physician left the room, only to come back shortly afterward with more medication to give and a bowl of porridge,

"Do you feel better?" he asked while putting another bandage in place of the dirtied first.

But his unexpected guest didn't pay attention to the man at all, and now out of his reveries, he was silently shedding tears with tightened fists, lips bit harshly to prevent any kind of sounds from escaping.

“What are you crying for? Aren’t you a man? No matter the struggles you mustn't cry!"

Chang Sun silently wiped with tears though they streamed down his cheeks still. Scaldingly hot and unending. The elder sighed and tried to comfort him,

"Crying helps the soul too, so it's alright."

"..."

The silence really wasn't something this old person liked. He nudged the bowl of food closer to Chang Shun and uttered.

"Tell this old man what ails your mind. It eased the soul too."

“... I"

"Come on, after all the efforts I put into helping you, you can satiate my curiosity a bit. Life is ever so boring around here."

"Mother... The person I liked like my own mother turned out to be my mother's murderer and... not long ago, elder brother... no, her son tried to kill me."

The elder's eyes seemed to shine, 

“Ah... is it about revenge then? Then do you want to avenge yourself?”

“Revenge?”

"Why not?" He took the bowl he had and directly put it in Chang Shun's hands, "You eat and think of ways. Wallowing and crying won't do much good."

The old man's face had a suspiciously happy smile as he uttered those words.

***

The city was still shaken. There had been a blazing fire and the second young master of House Chang perished from it. It was said that the young man had been trapped, unable to find a way out. No one could rescue him as the fire devoured everything until the last piece of wood of the big store turned to ashes. The disaster occurred at night when the second young master was doing a checkup. By the morning, only his carcineretid corpse could be collected by the family. The first master had gone crazy from the news and the day of the funeral, after drinking until oblivion, he had closed himself in the second master’s courtyard, ready to set everything ablaze, wishing to follow his junior. It was only when his mother came and begged him to reconsider, ready to die with him if he was stubborn enough to follow through with his plans, that the first young master calmed down, crying buckets in his mother’s arms. The servants could only hear in sobs, his hoarse voice complained,

“He isn’t here anymore. No one… I have no one anymore… Shun’er… Shun’er is gone. I am all alone.”

Mother Mei gently patted his back as she hugged his kneeling form, she herself kneeling too,

“Shh, Mother is here. Will always be. Mother is here for you, Jin'er”

The young man kept on sobbing, silently, hugging his mother tighter.

One died and the other hurriedly wished to follow, such a bond between brothers who don’t even share the same mother, people could only sigh. They were really, really close.