Chapter 144 – Thoughts
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Listening to Hermione's retelling of her experience and meeting with Quincy and Conrad, Neville couldn't help but display a wide range of emotions on his face at once.

"If she killed poor Squeaky, I can understand why Conrad did what he did. He lost his parents, everything that was his... And then Squeaky? I always told the others that he had to be convinced and not pushed away, but they were suspicious of his father right up to the end."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked, making Neville sigh, recollecting his thoughts and telling them everything he knew.

"We were hiding in plain sight, under the Ministry's nose, the best hiding place, so to speak. Angus Anguine kept us well informed and ensured the other branches within the Ministry were fed the false information we provided. That way, we could help him build up his reputation while also keeping us hidden and informed. I learned this early because I was constantly being trained in magic and told about what was happening. What many call a normal childhood, I had never known it. I always had to think about my mission... Train, train, and train..."

"Which is?" They asked, looking at him while Neville took a deep breath, closing his eyes, tasting the words in his mouth before letting them escape through his lips.

"Killing the Dark Lord."

"..."

"I had very few contacts with kids from my age," He continued, ignoring their surprised faces, "but then I met Conrad. Although we could not meet every day or every week, he made sure to come and visit me often. We were... and I hope that we are still... friends."

"How was he?" Hermione pressed, wanting to know more, "And how was his dad?"

"I know less of his dad, but he was very caring towards Conrad, not so much towards the rest of the family. I know that his wife cheated on him multiple times, but he didn't care, not even when Conrad complained about it. I heard his mom was taken into Azkaban after what happened, but I don't think either of the two would care about it..."

"That's... harsh..." Hermione murmured, furrowing her brows.

"Yes, as a sentence, it was too much, I agree, but that woman was vile. Conrad was always headstrong. He befriended me quickly and treated me fairly every time. I don't know if he realized I was lying to him often or just thought I was a weird kid... Maybe both... But he never pressed on the matter when I couldn't answer his questions. I knew he would have my back in anything, but he is also someone who holds grudges until the end. If he dislikes you, he makes sure you know it. I don't know that much about Quincy, but I do know they are a good pair, and I like her. She was friendly, and I know that her background was harsh. Still, I don't believe she would be capable of..."

"Of what?" Krum asked, and it was Neville's time to tell his news, surprising them.

"If not for me being under strict watch, I would have already headed out to try to find them. I want to ask them directly what happened."

"What if they did it?"

"Then..." He said, looking at Hermione, "I want to help them. They are my friends. There has to be a solution to it all! I don't know why the others did not trust Angus... I always tried to tell them that Conrad should be on our side, but they always forbade me from telling him anything or involving him in our business. I know he would have understood it and helped us! Whatever is going on does not make sense, and I think I have been being told less and less, which frustrates me."

"I agree." Victor and Hermione said simultaneously, the oldest of the three nodding towards Hermione to continue, "I have an increasing feeling that the Order is turning into something it is fighting against. I don't want to stop them, but I want people to see the signs, the danger. I want people to know that something is not right! Because, even if we win, wouldn't we replace one tyrant with another? Aren't we fighting for peace and freedom? What type of freedom is where you are being forced into helping... and branded as an enemy if you question their methods..."

"You should look for the friends Conrad made in school. Maybe they know more. Here!"

"What's this?" She asked, looking at a book he was giving her.

"We got this from one of them. It was Moody; you don't need to know who that is; just know that he is an ex-auror—a strong one. He decoded it. It is a diary shared by Conrad, Quincy, and their friends, the same group you saved." Neville explained, glancing at Victor, "I have been tasked with monitoring it and trying to convince the others to come forward through it or become our moles. If not for them deeming it somewhat worthless, I think they would have rounded them up all already. They look at it like some kind of training tool for me... Anyway, please take it! It may help you. I just ask, if you find them, notify me."

"Are you... sure?" Hermione asked, taking it and opening it for a peek.

"Yeah. I don't want Ron to find out about it... It is getting harder and harder to deal with it, and he has been suspicious of what I have been reading in my free time. Haaahh..."

"Who?"

"A long story..."

...
....
......

Arriving back at his temporary home in the tiny hamlet, Neville heard a voice calling out for him, one that he did not want to hear.

"Where were you today?"

"Why do you care, Ron?" He asked, turning towards him, watching the lanky boy leaning against the side of his house on the opposite end of the road.

"Because I do not trust you."

"You are alone with that sentiment."

"You can fool others; you can't fool me! You were friendly with that murderer and his girlfriend... I will find them and bring them to justice for what they did to my brother!"

"Just don't let it consume you as it consumed your brother..." Neville whispered, making Ron even angrier. He took big strides towards him, crossing the street in a flash, ready to throw hands.

"What did you say?"

"I am saying that you are constantly picking fights with me, yet we are on the same side. I'm starting to think you are not right in the head..." He retorted, reaching the end of his patience, "And I had enough of it!"

Before Ron had a chance to raise an arm, curl his fingers into a fist, and aim his punch, Neville already used a spell, tying his ankles together and hoisting him into the air.

"I understand your pain and frustration, but I am not your punching bag, Ron Weasley! I refuse to be! You better remember that before you try to pick a fight with me again. You may be stronger, but I am no muggle. Start learning spells if you want to challenge me because I won't hold back any longer! Start with Wingardium Leviosa. Even a neanderthal like you can handle that... probably."

With another wave of his hand, he sent him flying backward, making him land on his back, right in front of his house, but without any physical injury. Of course, this further angered Ron, but before he could stand back up, Sirius appeared behind him, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling Ron back into the house. He said nothing, but as Neville looked at him, he barely resembled himself from a year ago. He was, once again, half-drunk, looking like someone who had just escaped from Azkaban... Messy hair, dirty, stinky clothes, and bloodshot eyes. The perfect image of a wreck.

"..." Neville opened his mouth to say something, but in the end, he decided against it, walking into his home and lying down on his bed, thinking.

The world had flipped to his head way too quickly. It was hard to adapt, and he started feeling kind of stuffed in his chest whenever he thought about what the future may hold for him. He had been hearing how the Dark Lord's forces were being harassed and pushed back and how they were on a winning streak. But was it true? He couldn't tell. Nothing has been making sense lately; he has been uprooted without notice, being brought away multiple times before finally settling down in this land of nothing in the middle of nowhere.

At one point, he was sure he was taken to a different country just to spend a day there before being secretly smuggled back, but he never asked about it. Nobody would explain it to him anyway. It made him think about what the girl he met today was doing and how Hermione was looking for her own answers in her own way. Maybe he should follow her example, but...

"I can't..." He shrugged, turning towards the wall, knowing full well that multiple spells from Dumbledore himself were placed on his body. It was for his safety because if anything happened, the leading figures of the Order could sense it and directly apparate next to him if must. The moment he takes a step out of the borders of his new 'home,' one of them would appear and escort him back. "This sucks..."

I think this is a good spot to take a pause. It won't be long; it will last only for a week, but I need to think about how I want to do the following part.

It has yet to form into a coherent idea in my mind of how I want to handle the war and all that is coming with it. So, for a little bit, I will let my thoughts settle and formulate something, as I don't want to force it out if I am not satisfied with the results. I hope you understand!

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