Warning: Mature Language!!!

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"Motherfu—all I asked you to do was wash the plates!"

"Bitch, I did it five times this week! The laundry too! Does my deadline not exist to you!?"

There they go again. Ara blew her cascading brown locks away from her face with a tired huff. "You all could have just bought a dishwasher, you know?"

She was blatantly ignored.

"How about mine!? I need this promotion, Isaac!"

Random things were getting thrown across the room. Ara was starting to think that both her friends secretly possessed superpowers. Laura, a petite woman standing at around 5 ft. 4, managed to throw tables and chairs like baseball champ. Isaac, on the other hand, was dodging the furniture projectiles like a pro stuntman, even though he had little to no exposure in the field aside from the occasional dodgeball games they played during their P.E classes. And that was seven years ago. Then again, the two have been dating for three years.

Isaac grunted as he dodged a lamp coming his way. He watched as he saw his favorite lamp smash into pieces as it hit the wall before looking at his fiance in disbelief. "That was the lamp my grandmother gave to me, you unreasonable spawn of the devil!"

"Oh dear," Ara whispered as she watched the situation turn for the worse.

"Unreasonable!? You brought your subordinates to a fucking strip club on our fucking anniversary!" The redfaced red-head countered.

"I still gave you flowers, you ungrateful midget!"

"At fucking one in the morning! You were an hour too late, you sick son of a bitch!"

Why were they fighting again? Ara wondered as she sipped on a warm cup of tea, which she made sure was safe from the claws of a certain furniture throwing monstrosity. The cup was the only survivor from the earlier dining utensil massacre. Thankfully, Laura kept a part of her human consciousness and still had the common sense not to flip the fifteen thousand dollar couch Ara was idly sitting on.

"Hah!? Ya shit, you make it sound like you didn't enjoy my dick every three days every week for three years!"

For some reason, this argument has turned to a weird direction. Ara had been too caught up with her thoughts that she missed a good amount of junk this embarrassing pair was spewing at each other. Ara felt sorry for the people living next door. The walls weren't exactly thick enough to block out her friends' voices.

"Oh my god!" Laura gasped. "I can't believe you just said that. Bitch, you think that tiny ass chicken head dangling between your legs was enough to satisfy!?"

"Oh, then were those desperate moans I was hearing last night my imagination then!?"

"TMI!" Ara yelled. "What the fuck guys!?"

Finally, the voice of reason has been heard and the two significantly calmed down by a notch.

"Ugh!" Laura groaned. "I am getting so sick of dating you!"

I know you're not, young missy. Ara thought as she calmly sipped on her tea.

"If you're so damn sick of dating me then just fucking marry me already!"

Ara paused from drinking her beverage as she frantically screamed at Isaac in her mind. This was not the first time he proposed. He had done it countless times, but ended up getting ignored or rejected countless times too. The reasons Laura came up with at first, were the usual bullshit that were actually quite reasonable such as not having stable careers and homes, but even after acquiring all the conditions, Isaac still couldn't get her to say yes. He was an asshole, yes, but Laura too had a decent amount of asshole-ness in her blood which was why they got along so well in the first place—it was a nightmare in Ara's case.

Isaac, who seemed to finally realize the bad timing of his proposal, visibly panicked. Before he could find the words to fix the situation and somehow keep the girl of his life by his side, a miracle so miraculous that even Ara's permanent case of passive-face syndrome broke.

"Fine."

...

"W-what?" Isaac stuttered, his eyes blinking a hundred times in one second.

"Have you gone deaf from all the screaming you did a while ago, asshole?" Laura's face contorted into a mix between a blush and plain annoyance.

"No?" Maybe?

Ara facepalmed.

"Tsk," Laura clicked her tongue. She briskly stomped towards her stupefied handsome boyfriend and pulled him towards her eye-level by the collar.

"I'm gonna marry the fuck out of you." The spat in the most venomous tone Ara has ever heard. "Wait, no, we're marrying the fuck out of each other. We're gonna marry so hard that our parents are gonna cry themselves to fucking mush."

How is that possible???

"Huh, what? Wait, babe, if you're forcing yourself—"

Laura shut the fumbling man with a violent peck on the lips. "Listen to me, you son of a bitch. I'm not done yet."

Isaac was literally melting right on the spot. "...Yes, ma'am."

"You're ass better be ready with some good professional answers 'coz my dad owns a fucking shotgun. Wear that polo shirt I bought you last week, don't, and I will lock you out of my house. In return, I'll come to your house with that ugly ass dress your mom gave me last Christmas. I'll be the cutest fucking little shit on your doorstep on that day."

"Yes," Isaac could barely control he's smile while trying his best to stop himself from kissing his girlfriend. Ara knew that if he did, he'd get his ass kicked.

"Our wedding we'll be grand as fuck. Make sure to invite that bitchy ex of yours so I can show who owns the real crown." Laura's face had a smug look on her face and damn hell was Isaac itching to kiss that little cute smirk. "We'll show her who's really on top of her shit, but really it's just going to be Ara doing all the shit."

"Excuse me?" Ara tried to protest.

"Sure." Isaac was too happy to even care.

"What?" The thirdwheel of the group was beginning to realize that these two monsters were slowly leading her into their trap.

"Our cake will be two stories high, I don't know who'll eat that goddamn trash, but we're having it. I'm gonna milk our bank accounts so hard we'll be broke with a shit ton of loans by the end of this bullshit."

"That's fine."

"That is not fine!" Ara yelled. Of course, she was ignored. I give up. She huffed and started to rummage her brain for her connections. She needed to find a good wedding planner and financial assistant as soon as possible.

"All your pretentious relatives we'll be telling us how good we look together and how beautiful I am because I am. And if they're going to talk about my dick in the past—"

"I'll kill them." Isaac's voice was dark and dangerous.

"Good." Laura smiled and rewarded him with an approving hot kiss on the lips.

"You don't have to do anything, the security will handle them. I'll make sure of it." Ara raised her voice slightly higher. She already had a financial assistant in mind, and now it seems she'll also have to contact the security agency for available A-rank members.

Laura broke off the kiss, much to Isaac's chagrin.

For the first time today, Laura's voice became soft. "We're practically married, we're just making it official. I wasn't really into it at first, because it was hella expensive and impractical. And if things don't work out here, we'll probably have to move."

In short, weddings are a pain in the ass therefore it shouldn't exist. Fucking capitalists!

"Babe..." Isaac looked like he was about to burst in tears.

"I thought you were getting sick of me because I rejected your marriage proposals so many times that it became an inside joke to the three of us. Believe it or not, I took you seriously and I actually almost said yes several times, but I was too scared. Not to mention, I used to have that stupid thing on my crotch." A small tear rolled down Laura's cheek.

Isaac chuckled softly as he quickly kissed the tear away. Finally free from Laura's grasps, he gently cupped her cheeks and tilted her head upwards to meet his eyes. "Babe, I never cared about that. I've been obsessed with you since childhood and still loved you even after your transition. Want proof, ask Ara."

"He was Laura-sexual all the way. Heidi was his stupid way of catching your attention and you were stupid enough to fall for it." Ara said with a thumbs up. "You both are a match made in heaven, or perhaps, hell."

"Asshole." Laura spat at her.

"Yeah, I've been hanging out with the both of you edgelords for far too long."

Laura glared at Ara who was now passively sipping her tea.

Isaac chuckled again. His arms circled around Laura's waist into a warm tight embrace. "Thank you so much, Laura."

Laura patted his back with her hand. "Sorry about the lamp. I'll try to fix it, but I'm not sure if it'll look as pretty as before."

"It's fine, I was joking."

"What?"

Oh no. Ara's instincts immediately went on high alert.

"I got too carried away that I ended up spouting lies to make you feel bad. Didn't have much against you, sorry babe."

Hearing that, Laura immediately pushes him back. "Bitch, I felt fucking horrible! Holy shit, man!"

"Aww, come on, Lau-lau. Let's not ruin a happy moment with a trip to the hospital, okay?"

"Oh no, you sick son of a gun. You're the only one taking a trip to the hospital." Laura hissed.

A vaguely loud sound of a brutal slap could be heard from the background, but Ara could care less because she now had lots of work to do. She dialed a series of numbers on her phone and waited for the receiver to answer.

"Royal Splendor at your service. How can we help you?"

"Hi, I'm Ara Wilson, I'd like to set an appointment with your best wedding planner."