Chapter 183: Memory Lane
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Announcement

Hey all, just wanted to let you know that I've been adding a few more entries to the story glossary lately. I'll probably add more in the future, particularly character entries, whenever I have time. Enjoy!

 

As Deylia follows Xenia into her secret hallway, she finds herself in a place somewhat more...well, traditionally dungeon-like. The hallway is constructed with carved blocks of stone and lit with torches, and dotted with dark alcoves. For a moment the Priestess is worried that Xenia might be taking her to an actual secret torture chamber of some sort, but before long she stops at an alcove populated by two statues. They're constructed from decorative stone, but in a way no mundane sculptor could ever match. Each of the two figures is blended from at least a dozen different types of mineral, as well as gems for accents such as the eyes, allowing for them to be colored and textured in a way no simple marble statue could match.

The two figures before them look like fairly mundane folks, by Deylia's reckoning, but from very different walks of life. On the left stands a middle-aged woman, pale-skinned and black-haired, with a tired-looking smile on her face and perhaps a few extra pounds around her middle, wearing a style of fashion that's difficult for Deylia to place. On the right stands a dark-skinned man, somewhat younger and certainly more physically fit, and wearing attire that Deylia wouldn't find out of place in most Rainlander villages. Although she's dying to ask who these statues are meant to represent, she wisely decides to let Xenia take the lead on the conversation.

The dungeon master herself stares at them for a moment before starting her explanation. "I've...never been great about handlin' my connections to my past. Either I get obsessed with it and have trouble dealing with the shit going on around me, or I pretend none of it ever happened, cause it's too painful for me to deal with. More of the latter than the former, these days. But...that ain't healthy either. It ain't normal to try and forget the people you loved, even if thinking about them hurts. There's gotta be a better...some kind of a balance there, and that's what I'm trying to do here. My memory from before being a dungeon's nowhere near perfect, and it's been so many years in some cases...I figured maybe I oughtta carve the important bits down into stone, especially if there's a chance I could be here for a thousand years or something."

"I see. And these...are two people you loved?"

Xenia nods. "My parents. Which feels funny to say, since ain't the either of the two ever met, but it's true. The lady there's my mom, the O-G from Run Zero - Danielle Worthy, Danny to her friends. Assistant manager of the Dollar Major. My...original dad and her split, got divorced way back when I was a little kid, and I ended up staying with her. My dad...he wasn't bad, but he wasn't there. Would get calls from him two or three times a year, birthdays and Christmas. See him every three or four years or so. Mom, though...being a single mom ain't easy, but she pulled it off. Always had time and a smile if I needed one. Never had money, but I had love, and that was enough."

"I...believe I can see the family resemblance, now that you mention it. But the other, um..."

Xenia laughs as she turns to the man with dark brown skin. "Yeah, totally different lifetime, and what you're seeing from me now is my original body, how I looked the first time I died. The other's from my run as Xenia of Khaloom, Master of the Easthall Guild. And this...this is Brace of Khaloom. My dad. Now, I'll tell ya something - I've been a baby more times than I care to remember, and it's always awful. Aside from the baby-shit itself, I'm a terrible actor, there's no way I'd be able to spend ten years pretending to just be a normal kid. So generally as soon as I'm able to speak the local language, I clue my parents in to what's up with me, and usually there's two ways that goes. Either they freak out and don't know how to deal with me, treating me like someone who possessed their 'real' kid or something...or they try and figure out how they can exploit me, like some sort of child prodigy."

"It's difficult for me to imagine. Brace was different, though?"

"Yeah...on that run my mom died early, farm accident, before I'd been around long enough to talk. Didn't have any siblings or other close family, so I was a little worried how the new old man would take it, finding out what I am. But...more than any other parent I've had, hearing the truth never changed how much he loved me. He treated me like a blessing, actually, and not just because of what I could do for him. Some of it was that he was getting lonely, and maybe just needed someone to talk to, but...he went every extra mile he could for me, every time. Never treated me like a freak or a monster. Always so proud of everything I did." Xenia stares at him for a while longer before concluding. "When people ask me who my dad was? Even now - I think of Brace. Perhaps not first, but definitely foremost of fathers."

"He seems worthy of the title. Ah..." Deylia grimaces slightly. "No pun intended?"

"Heh. You know what hurts me most about these two? I died before they did, both runs. Truck on Run Zero, monster cataclysm on the Easthall run. But it's been centuries since either of those happened, so...I know they're both gone now. I just...wish I could've gotten them a message, you know? Tell them I'm okay where I am. At least dad knew about me, but mom..." Xenia wipes at her eye before turning and continuing her way down the hall. "Let's move on, yeah?"

"Ah, of course, whatever you wish." Deylia hurries after, but it's not far to their next stop. Here there's alcoves on either side of the hallway - one occupied by only a very tiny statue, and the one opposite filled with eight different figures, standing together. Xenia turns towards the smaller one first, and so Deylia looks closer. It appears to be a very young girl, with brown hair and a bright smile as a child's dress twirls around her, but other than that the details seem...vague, compared to the previous two.

"Billie...my daughter. My first kid. One of my worst fuckups. Definitely when it comes to those I loved, anyhow."

Deylia's eyes widen as she turns towards her mistress. "Ma'am?"

"I was such a shitty mom. Got knocked up in a one-night stand, never even knew the guy's name. Normally I'd...'take care' of something like that, but the place I was at didn't have any good options for that, and I figured...eh, why not? May as well give it a try, huh? And she...she was perfect. Her smile...but I didn't know how to raise a kid and work my normal adventuring career at the same time, I was always having to push her off onto neighbors and shit while I went out on jobs. Then...one day she started coughing. Four days later she was dead. Four years old. Medicine around there...magical or otherwise, was all just shit. Nothing I could do to help her."

"Dear gods, Xenia, I'm so sorry. I'm sure she loved you, though. I'm certain you did your best."

Xenia doesn't answer, beyond perhaps the barest of nods, but instead turns towards the other alcove. In this case all of the figures seem to be young adults, save for one slightly older woman at the center of the group. "And here...we've got the success story. I suppose you haven't had the chance yet to catch all of the Xenia Worthy, Reincarnator Extraordinaire gossip, but...this here was my wife, Sarah. We were adventurers together, heroes, before we settled down. Our kids...daughters Tricia, Pearl, Wanda, and Rachel. Sons Trey and Lance. And then that boy off to the side there was Harold - his mom was a different woman, a princess actually. But Sarah never had any trouble making him feel like part of the family, those times when we met up together."

"Sounds like an...interesting family dynamic?"

"Little unusual, but I think we made it work. We didn't live in the same city as him, but I tried to be better than my original dad was, at least. Visited him at least once a season, and invited him out to our place when he was older. Made sure to include him in all of the family affairs. As far as the other kids were concerned, he was just the big brother who got to live in a fancier house, you know? Anyhow...this one was the dream. Couldn't have asked for a better run."

Deylia scans her gaze across the smiling faces of the eight figures, and feels inclined to agree. "They certainly look happy. You must have been a good, ah...father?"

"I tried." With that Xenia turns and continues the tour, although this time she passes by a number of alcoves without comment. Deylia glances at them as best as she can, noting down a variety of figures - a dashing-looking young man, a trio of young women with adventurer's gear and weapons in a dramatic action pose, an...okay, that one was definitely a statue of a skeleton. But instead, Xenia comes to a halt before a collection of five figures, one of whom she recognizes.

On the left stands a man who looks like some sort of lizard beastkin, along with a dark-haired woman in a robe made of bright blue stone. To the right stands a very slender woman in light armor, probably meant to be leather and archer's gear, next to an older gentleman in plate armor, resting a shield against the floor, with most of his statue being made of actual metal. And in the center, with one foot propped atop a dragon skull made of stone stands Beatrice, younger and unscarred - or at least less so, lacking the burn wounds that mark the woman Deylia's met. In her right hand, raised to the sky, the armored woman is lifting an elaborate-looking sword, with a large black gem on one side of the hilt and a crystal-clear one on the other.

"Beatrice and the Monster Slayers. My last run, just before this. Only statue of me in here, by the way - that's me as the sword there."

"Wait, what?"

"Not my ideal body, I'll tell you that. Maybe even the worst, if I'm ranking em. But the friends? Couldn't have asked for better. Worked together for years, slaying monsters, helping folks, til eventually we went after the Big One. A dragon - way larger than that skull there, for your information, just didn't have space for a life-size one in here. Three of us died taking it down - Faleen the Ice Mage, Yates the Beastman, and me. Beatrice tells me it was something like twenty years ago now for her, still feels like less than a year for me, though. She tells me Paladin Tarry there passed of old age, but Ipis is still kicking it and has herself a whole herd of kiddos now, which is still hard for me to believe. But it's...good, you know? To have at least one family of mine that's still out there, sort of. I owe Beatrice a lot for tracking me down like she did."

"I suppose it must make it feel more...real, I suppose? And not like a dream you keep moving on from?"

Xenia nods. "Sometimes dreams, sometimes nightmares. You know why I'm showing you all this though, Del?"

"I'm...hesitant to make suppositions, to be honest."

Xenia turns to face Deylia, an intense look on her face. "The attachments you have to your friends and your family - they're important. The fact that you died but you don't have to entirely give that up? It's a blessing. And I would never ask you to try and forget your family."

"Thank you - I'll try not to." The woman halts as Xenia claps a hand on her shoulder.

"But. The other part of holding on is knowing how to balance that with moving on. And while I may be more experienced with that than anyone else I know, I'll admit that I have, historically, been shit at finding that balance. But it's important to do both, I can tell you that."

Deylia gulps. "What would you have me do, mistress?"

"See? That - you've been a maid for too long, Del. When you signed on here, it wasn't for a job. Or a club, or a guild, or anything like that. We could be together down here for longer than even I've been alive, and that's saying something. Joining up with us here, that makes you part of the family, a new one. Now, I ain't gonna ask you to call me momma or something, I ain't that kind of creepy. But maybe a little less of the 'mistress' and 'ma'am' stuff, yeah?"

"That - that may be a hard adjustment to make, if I'm being honest. But I'm glad at least that you don't intend to - to throw me out for my mistakes, then?"

At that, Xenia pulls Deylia into a hug - not a particularly close one, but enough of an embrace to make the younger woman a little uncertain how to react. Before she can figure herself out though, Xenia continues. "That goes both ways, Del. You're family now too, and I'd never throw out family."

Before Deylia can start to relax, she adds on one more comment, whispered into Deylia's ear. "...But girl? You are fuckin' grounded."

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