I wake up with tears in my eyes to the beep-beep-beep of my phone alarm coming from underneath my pillow. I quickly wipe them from my eyes and I pull the phone out from under my head and turn off the alarm. The phone now informs me that it's 6:45 am on a Friday and shows me lots of discord notifications I don’t have the mental energy to answer. Just like last time. I pull myself out of bed and put on a clean green t-shirt and jeans. The same outfit I wore the last 2 days. Wish I had more interesting stuff I could wear. Maybe I should skip school today and buy better clothes, but it's not like it would matter. Plus it would all look bad on me. I make my way out of my bedroom and downstairs to eat breakfast before I would have to walk to school. 

When I came down the stairs into our living room/kitchen I heard “Howdy, Howdy, Howdy to all our early morning listeners. Let's start a good morning with some ‘Here come the sun’.” from the radio my mom is listening to while reading god knows what on her phone and nursing her morning coffee. Just like I expected. I went to the counter, picked up the bowl of cheerios I knew that would be there, and mumbled out a ‘good morning’ to my mom. 

“Well it looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Would ya like me to give ya a drive to school today bud.”

“No. I want to walk. I have some stuff I want to think about.” Not true. I just want to avoid the conversation I would have to have with her. It's not that I don’t like her. My mom’s great. She just likes to ask questions about my life and I don’t like talking about myself. 

“Well it must be some big stuff with that big noggin of yours.” 

I let out a sound so she knows that I heard her and go back to eating my cereal. I unlock my phone and look if any of the stories I read have updated. Nope I’ve seen it all. So I began searching for a new story to read in the meantime. After a bit of searching finding nothing interesting I quickly shovel down the remaining cereal and say. “I’m gonna start heading to school.”

“Well good luck honey. Don’t be late.” I won't, I'm leaving early and will probably be one of the first ones there. I stand up and head towards the front door. I put on my baggy hoodie, pick up my bag, and put on my very worn down sneakers. My mom would happily get me a new pair of shoes but that would just be wasted on me. I’ll wear them until the soles fall off. I open our door, flip up my hood, and begin the uphill walk to school. 

I was right when I arrive at school almost nobody else is here. I could make my way towards the area underneath the stairs where my friends usually gather before classes start but I’m not in the mood to have the same conversations again. So instead I make my way to the class where my first period is. When I get there the door is closed and the lights in the classroom are off. I give the knob and experimental juggle. It’s unlocked. I make my way in, turning on the lights, and sitting in my seat. Well not technically mine as this class didn’t have assigned seats but everybody always sits in the same seats anyways. The classroom is warm but nothing short of god’s intervention could get me to take off my hoodie. Now that I’m in the classroom alone I have time to deal with all my thoughts. Like how I want this day to be over already or how I wish a car killed me one of the numerous times I jay-walked on the time here without looking. No thanks. Instead I take out the school provided computer and start playing some Yu-Gi-Oh online. Takes just enough brain power to not let me think about myself or life. 

People have started to filter into the room as it gets closer to class starting. Right before the bell rings one of my friends comes in and sits in the seat right in front of me. Just like he always does. He turns around and asks. “Hey dude where were you this morning?” 

I just give a shrug in response. He then as if the shrug was a joke lets out a chuckle and says. “Yeah sometimes I don’t wanna deal with Marlon too. What he do this time?” Luckily the bell rang and the teacher came in saving me from the conversation. 

When the teacher started the lesson I didn't stop playing card games on my computer. The teacher doesn’t care as long as I'm sitting near the back. Which I am in fact the most back one could be. Besides, it's just econ not anything worth paying attention to. The class passes by without me absorbing anything that the teacher was saying. I did manage to pull off a gimmicky FTK though so that was nice. When the bell rings I pack up my bag and start making my way to my 3rd period. The only class I have every day thanks to block scheduling.

When I get to the music room I immediately take my instrument out of its locker and start assembling it in my seat. I play tenor saxophone, the best type of saxophone. Anyone who tells you differently is either a weirdo or was paid off by big alto. We are preparing for the winter concert currently in class. Which if you have ever taken a band class you know is the worst time of year as you are practicing the same Christmas songs that you’ve played since you were a freshmen. I didn’t pay much attention to the piece though. Me and the other tenor sax played word games on his phone the entire period. To be fair almost nobody paid attention to the pieces. Some were doing stuff on their phones while others just left the room. Probably to buy or sell weed in the nearby bathroom. The only people that paid attention were the like 3 kids who planned to actually major in music. Wish I had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life like those people. After what must have been the 12th run through of sleigh ride the bell freed us from the Christmas flavored hell and ushered me onto historical flavored hell. 

I wish I could have done the same thing I did in my econ class to pass the time in my history class but the teacher did not allow us to bring out the computers in her class. So instead I drew some little monsters in my notebook. Just as productive as what I did in econ by instead wasting paper. Half way through our class time the teacher passed out a handout that we were meant to spend the rest of class doing by ourselves. I ignore it. I’ve already done it and I will not get anything from doing it another time. I go back to drawing in my notebook. It's a dragon. It sucks but I have nothing else to do so I might as well continue with it. When the period comes to a close and we hand in the handouts the teacher gives me a disappointed look when they notice it's blank. I don’t care. He won't remember it tomorrow anyways. Instead I leave the class and start my lunch period. 

I didn’t go to the cafeteria. Instead I went to the library. I don’t feel like eating anything and the library is the perfect place to hide away from my friends. So I’m in an alcove of the library sitting on the floor. I take out my computer and start reading some totally legal manga on it. I get lost in the pages and before I know it lunch is over. I stay in the library. I have last period gym which is a special torture in of itself. But the real reason I didn’t go is cause I really didn’t feel like changing in the boys locker room today. So instead I’m skipping and going back to reading my manga. God I wish I was Ranma. 

When I got home I nervously did my homework in the living room barely getting any of it done. At one point I get up and make my way towards my mom’s office. I knock on the door. She pulls off her headphones, stops her writing, and asks. “What do you want, sweetie?” 

I wiggling my hands with each other after a noticeable bit of silence, beaching out 3 little words a bit faster than one would normally speak. “I’m a girl.” At that my mom jumps out of her office chair and embraces me. She promises a shopping trip tomorrow and we both cry while the clock in the background ticks over to 4:15 pm. 

Well not exactly that’s what happened in an alternate universe. Then in another I would wake up crying in my bed thinking it was just a dream and doing it all over again basically the exact same way. Then in a third universe. This universe. I stare at my phone as it displays 4:14 pm in the same spot in the school library I have been since lunch. 2 hours after school ended hoping that staying away will change something. The digital display changes to 4:15 pm and I feel the entire world shifting. 

I am back in my bed waking up from the beep-beep-beep of my alarm and hearing the “Howdy, Howdy, Howdy to all our early morning listeners. Let's start a good morning with some ‘Here come the sun’.”  from the radio downstairs. I wish I could just live my life but it seems like god hates me. 

Well no use moping let's go. Fourth time the charm. Lets try the school’s roof this time. It's three stories that should be enough for it to work.