It was a mundane Wednesday morning. Min found himself seated at his desk, staring at a stuffy whiteboard overloaded with quadratic equations and incomprehensible formulas. As an average student, he couldn't help but question the practicality of learning such abstract concepts. Min saw little value in these mathematical intricacies, yet he realized he had brought this situation upon himself. Despite his lack of enthusiasm, he had succumbed to familial pressure and opted for a scientific path, instead of pursuing his true passion in humanities.
Mr. Glenn's monotonous voice echoed in the classroom as he read out the math problems, leaving Min perplexed by the absurdity of the hypothetical situations presented to him. Unlike the bizarre scenarios described in his textbook, Min knew he would never find himself purchasing fifty-seven pineapples at a grocery store or calculating his terminal velocity after jumping off a plane. Pineapples and heights were far from his interests, and he had no intention of engaging in such activities in the future.
Adding to Min's frustration were those problems that barely resembled math at all. These puzzling questions involved an overwhelming number of letters and alien symbols, accompanied by complex solving methods that only served to make his life more miserable.
After staring at the daunting problem in front of him for a few more minutes, Min decided to conserve his energy and refrain from wasting it on deciphering the hard-to-understand mess on the congested whiteboard.
True to his routine, Min occupied the last row of the classroom, deliberately isolating himself from the rest of the students. This strategic position allowed him to escape unnoticed whenever his attention waned during class, which, more often than not, was the case. In an attempt to escape the dreary atmosphere, he turned his head to the left and gazed out the window beside him.
Through the window, Min had a clear view of the sprawling school grounds. At the northernmost section, the grand but rarely functional school entrance gate stood, notorious for trapping unsuspecting individuals with its faulty doors. Just outside the campus, a parking lot filled with cars that seemed to mimic the ambiance of high school perfectly. The playground and sports courts on the side buzzed with the energy and excitement of young children, their innocence and enthusiasm destined to fade with time. While the commotion caught the attention of most people, Min's gaze quickly shifted to the marvelously maintained garden, discreetly nestled in the corner, a haven of serenity amidst the chaos.
The garden stood out like a vibrant oasis amidst the surrounding concrete jungle. A tiny patch of green, it was a sanctuary adorned with lush grass, dew-kissed and untainted by any trace of exposed dirt. An assortment of plants, including West Indian jasmines, Chinese crotons, Madagascar periwinkles, and firecracker flowers, greeted visitors at the entrance, showcasing a colorful tapestry of nature's bounty. Along the sides, multi-hued rose bushes added their delicate charm, while butterfly pea vines cascaded down the walls, their brilliant blue flowers standing out amidst a sea of red and yellow blossoms.
The true stars of the garden, however, were the majestic flowering plants that stood tall and proud. Among them, the plumeria plant reigned supreme, its blooms capturing the hearts of many. Children often plucked these fragrant flowers, fashioning makeshift "rings" out of the petals. Using the flower's stalk to create a hole in the petal's center after delicately bending it downward, they would slide it up to the receptacle, repeating the process for each petal until a whimsical ring emerged. Another favorite was the yellow trumpetbush, whose flowers once served as a source of sweet nectar for the young ones. However, this activity ceased after an unfortunate encounter with a bee, leaving one child with what resembled excessively filled lips.
As Min immersed himself in observation, his attention was drawn to Mrs. Byun, surrounded by a group of ninth-graders near a hibiscus plant at the garden's center. Although he couldn't hear her words, he could easily deduce what was taking place, having found himself in the same situation before.
The teacher meticulously dissected a large hibiscus flower, revealing its intricate parts to her inattentive students. The focus of her explanation revolved around the flower's reproductive organs, specifically the stamen and pistil. While a few students hung onto her every word, others appeared disinterested, engaging in boisterous laughter that suggested the exchange of inappropriate jokes. A group of boys playfully handled the garden's vegetables, finding amusement in the cucumber's phallic resemblance. Among the girls, a gossip session came to an abrupt halt when a German cockroach scurried across their path. Undeterred by the lack of attention from those uninterested, Mrs. Byun pressed on.
Suddenly, an unexpected shift occurred. The previously apathetic students turned their heads toward the teacher, their expressions changing. Intrigued, Min leaned closer to the window, a mischievous smirk playing on his lips. Mrs. Byun had begun discussing the different types of flowers, and the mention of the word "unisexual" proved enough to capture everyone's eyes and ears. Pointing to the hibiscus blossom in her hand, she explained that it was a "bisexual" flower, possessing both male and female reproductive organs. She further elaborated that such flowers were referred to as "perfect" flowers.
"Ha," Min chuckled softly, his nostalgia-laden reverie abruptly disrupted. Frustration welled up within him, not stemming from the tedious double math period he was enduring with Mr. Glenn, but from the inner turmoil surrounding his own sexuality.
While Min understood that the concept of flower sexuality and human sexuality were not directly comparable, he couldn't help but feel frustrated by the stark contrast in connotations. In the plant world, bisexuality was synonymous with completeness and perfection, a celebration of diversity and harmony. However, in the realm of human sexuality, being bisexual often carried negative stereotypes and misconceptions. It meant being labeled as confused, greedy, or someone who couldn't make up their mind. Bisexual individuals were often misunderstood, caught in a liminal space where they were too straight for some and too gay for others. The invisibility and erasure of bisexual men, in particular, added to Min's discontent, as they were deemed imperfect flowers in society's eyes.
Another source of frustration for Min was the prevalence of active love lives among those around him. Until about six months ago, love was the least of his concerns, and he was content with his life as it was. While there were certain areas that could have been better, he had no desire to seek out romantic connections. However, in recent weeks, an unexpected hunger for love had taken hold of him. During this love-craving phase, he even found himself watching romantic movies—an act he would have scoffed at in the past.
Min yearned to be in a relationship, and he couldn't help but survey the people in front of him, contemplating potential candidates. However, he knew that his shyness and awkwardness would present significant obstacles in the realm of dating.
His gaze first settled on Anna, a focused and outspoken girl who impressively twirled a pen between her fingers while engrossed in her notes. Anna possessed long black locks and a tall figure, standing out from the crowd. Although they didn't spend much time together, they occasionally had brief exchanges when they crossed paths. Anna was well-liked and admired, but she possessed a down-to-earth nature that set her apart from the typical popular girls at school. Min appreciated her authenticity, despite their contrasting personalities. He believed they were opposites character-wise, leading him to consider her a potential match. However, upon further reflection, he realized that their differences might be too significant for the adage of "opposites attract" to hold true. The more he contemplated a relationship with Anna, the more he recognized that it would likely crumble due to the clash of personalities. He didn't want to force himself into romantic feelings for someone if they weren't genuine.
The truth was, Min was attracted to girls, but his attraction to them differed from his attraction to boys. He could appreciate a girl's physical beauty and even had fantasies of intimacy with them. However, when it came to romantic gestures like holding hands or cuddling, he couldn't envision himself engaging in those acts with girls.
Min speculated that his lack of romantic attraction might be rooted in a past traumatic experience. Four years ago, he found himself pursued by Katrina, a Year 3 high-schooler who expressed a desire to date him. Young and overwhelmed, Min was terrified of her. One day, near the restroom, Katrina ambushed him, forcibly grabbing his hand without permission and insisting on taking him to a "secret place." Fortunately, Min managed to summon the strength to push her away and swiftly escaped. He confided in a few friends about the incident, seeking support and understanding.
"Ron, remember that older, creepy girl I mentioned earlier? She came out of nowhere and grabbed my hand!"
"Why do you look so scared, bro?"
"I didn't like her, and she held my hand without asking me."
"If I were you, I would've gone along with her and had a little fun, you know?"
"What?"
"You were in a lucky spot, but you blew it, bro! Have some fun next time. I'd kill to be in your shoes."
Min contemplated whether this encounter had left a lasting impact, influencing his current romantic inclinations or lack thereof.
Turning his attention to boys, Min already had a few individuals in mind. One of them was Denis, characterized by his greenish-blue eyes, thick blonde hair, and attractive lips. He had an air of nobility about him and behaved accordingly. Min had often fantasized about Denis, but his aloof demeanor made approaching him seem daunting. Min believed that he didn't deserve to stand next to someone as untouchable as Denis. Also, the significant rumors of Denis's rudeness led Min to halt his thoughts about him.
As Min's thoughts wandered, he found himself captivated by the idea of dating Kai. Kai's apparent tall stature was merely an illusion, but his perfectly proportioned body, sun-kissed skin, and charming way of speaking ignited a flutter in Min's typically impassive heart. On the surface, Kai exuded a fun-loving and warm-hearted aura, exerting a positive influence wherever he went. However, Min's fantasies abruptly ceased when he discovered that Kai often used "gay" as an insult and engaged in locker room talk.
Then there was Akio—a person who willingly sought out Min's company, demonstrating a level of closeness that surpassed mere friendship but not best friendship. Although Akio possessed the personality traits of a class clown, which wasn't necessarily Min's ideal type, he still found himself daydreaming about him. Yet, like his previous crushes, Min believed that Akio was straight. Additionally, Min recognized the potential pitfalls of pursuing a romantic relationship with one of his few friends, prompting him to suppress further thoughts about it.
Min then thought about Hyun. Undoubtedly, Hyun held the title of the most popular guy in school, a status known to all. His social media presence boasted a substantial fan following, a testament to his widespread appeal. Hyun's remarkable looks were the talk of the school. Standing at an impressive height of approximately 187.6 cm, he commanded attention with his towering stature. His skin showcased a gorgeous light tan that added to his allure. With long, graceful limbs that seemed to belong on a world-class fashion runway, Hyun effortlessly embodied elegance. Delicate pink lips and a well-maintained short hairstyle drew further attention to his striking face, accentuating his captivating aura. But it wasn't just Hyun's physical attributes that attracted Min; it was his multifaceted personality. Despite his initially unapproachable appearance, Hyun stood as the epitome of sociability and outgoingness within their class.
Min's sudden thoughts about Hyun instantly dispelled any notion of a quick nap. His heart raced, and a mix of anticipation and nervousness coursed through him. Min's cheeks flushed with a deeper shade of pink, betraying his hidden heightened emotions. The mere mention of Hyun had the power to throw Min's thoughts into disarray and render him incapable of focusing on anything else.
As Min found himself immersed in these thoughts, Mr. Glenn's voice pierced the air.
"Well, time for a ten-minute break! Remember that we have one more hour to go!"
With the announcement, some students hurriedly exited the classroom, seeking temporary refuge from the clutches of the dreaded math monster. Others arrived to meet their friends, providing a welcome reprieve from the academic demands.
Intending to rest his head and steal a moment of tranquility, Min stayed in his seat. However, his plans were abruptly interrupted by the unexpected arrival of someone.
It was Hyun.
