Chapter six: Senior
5 0 0
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.


Getting to the ward I would change out of my clothes and into what they had. I did have a room and a roommate. I would fall back asleep. The most I did there was sleep and talk with the people there. About three days in I would then go to one of the groups they had, we would talk about what we wanted for our future, how getting better isn’t going to be an easy journey but with time and help we should be able to make it through whatever it is that had got us there. They were telling us how there were people living there and they were about 50 to 60 years old. The cafeteria was big and spacey so there were enough tables for everyone there. The food there was good, and well cooked. Going back up we did have some guests come see us. I did give them my so-called father’s name and number for him to know where I am so he can visit. He wouldn’t come so I became disappointed that he didn’t care enough to show up. I had come to accept that my dad didn’t care about me that day. My mom and grandmother did show up that day, I was somewhat happy my mom at least showed and grandmother because they at least did care. They would ask “ are you alright? Did you eat anything? What was going on that caused it? Did someone do something to you? Why couldn’t you tell us?” I would remain silent not because I didn’t know what to say but because it would be complicated to explain to them. “ Hey I have trauma, I had it all locked away because I have no one I can talk to. I couldn’t tell you mom because you’re a part of the reason for it.” Back then I would blame my mom for a lot of things, things she had no control over. I mean yeah she could’ve left the guy who caused most of it years ago before they had kids together. But I wasn’t looking to blame anyone for what happened to me that night because it was more so my fault. I had it all build up inside over the years, it became too much that I couldn’t handle it. It became so bad that I thought of dying each night but I had no energy to actually commit to it again. When I feel that way sometimes my heart feels so heavy that I can’t stand, I'm trying to breathe. It feels like I'm drowning in that tub all over again and again. That this feeling isn’t something I can control because it was a part of me since my two friends died. I was battling it for years, and the times I did try to get help no one would listen or think it was a nightmare I had. When it wasn’t it all happened all throughout the years. I couldn’t trust anyone that was family because the time I needed my family the most, very few came to save me. Very few tried to help me and get him removed from my life because they saw how much danger I was in. I had given up, not just on myself but on life in general, I wanted it to stop. But again it wasn’t like I wanted to point fingers at anyone besides myself because I was the one to blame. I blamed and hated myself for not just running away from home. For not calling the police to just take me away. I blamed myself for letting him abuse me even if I couldn’t do anything about it. I blamed myself for my friend's death and those in my family who died as well. I blamed myself for living so long without being able to die that it hurt. It hurt knowing that I was alive and that everyone I did care about is dead or will be dead in a few years. But I wouldn’t say any of this to them instead I looked down. I looked down because I couldn’t look them in the eyes and tell them that I’m alright when I was suffering inside. I didn’t want them to worry about me and think oh we have to constantly watch him or leave him here. Instead I just lied and said “ no one, I just got depression is all and didn’t know how to deal with it.” The visiting time would end and it would be an hour before it was time for us to sleep. We would have one last group for about 20 or 30 mins that day. The last few minutes we had a few options. I would do a drawing, some of the group watched tv, while the rest either went to sleep early, or played a game. The night would end and it was lights out, going back to the rooms we each had. I would be up a little longer to write on the back of the paper a song that was playing in my head. Going to sleep soon after. We would wake up at 12 am for the staff to check up on us, some of the people there had their blood taken while others had to just pee in a cup. I had to do both because they wanted to make sure the pills were leaving my system. Afterwards we would fall back asleep. I would have a hard time going to sleep because once I was up I was up. I would fall asleep about 2 hours later, we did have a clock on the wall to help us tell time in our rooms. Waking up around 6 am each day they started off with giving some of them meds for what they were going through while others could just go into the room for group. “Today's group is going outside to go to the gym and get some sunlight. We do have a few of you who have a therapist, family, etc. coming later today. Last thing was if anyone you need anything from the staff don’t be afraid to ask rather than be a phone call, or you need a toothbrush, clothes, new bed sheets, towels, soap, or mouthwash.” one of the staff members at the meeting had said. Around 8 am was breakfast, what they had was oatmeal, cereal, or a breakfast sandwich. I would try the oatmeal, it wasn’t that good, it just tasted like I was eating water mixed with just a bit of sugar. The oatmeal itself didn’t have any flavor, so I ate it anyway. To get the taste out my mouth I drank the juice it came with. At 9am we had someone new come in and join us. His name was oscar. He was cool , me and my roommate were already planning to hangout anyway, like at least sit on the benches outside or go check out the gym once it opens. Some of us there were playing basketball or just bathing in the sun. I would choose to bathe in the sun instead of play a sport. This would be open for most of the day as an option. Soon lunch rolled around, lunch had been a little bit more appetizing than breakfast was. Going back to the gym after lunch to do a little bit of a workout before some people came inside. ( Long story short I don’t work out in front of people because that was one of the few things that was beaten out of me). Did a quick set and then heard two sets of footsteps approaching. I would stop working out and turn off my senses so that way I don’t have to hear, smell, see certain things. Let’s just say it was very unpleasant since to me it was like a pointless thing unless it was like sparing. I wouldn’t take interest in it but I wouldn’t care if they do it because it’s their passion. Since it doesn’t affect me that they play sports. Going outside again after 5 mins to soak in the sun for a bit because my skin was still a little bit pale. I felt as though I regained some strength when I was in the sun. I felt the heat I had missed being able to feel. But it wasn’t heat from the weather but it was produced by me. Being still somewhat hyperly aware I contained it to just be inside instead of pouring out. It felt good, because it was still a little chilly outside. Soon the sun was setting. It was great seeing it. One of the staff members did ask me if I was wearing contacts or something Because they saw my eyes shining a brighter color than before. It would soon fade away because that feeling of being safe but still numb was there and returned. At first they were convinced I had contacts in but as soon as it turned back to a darker color they didn’t see a shine or that brightness I had. I was told there were a few of us leaving early because we were clean or better than we were when we first arrived. I was fully expecting to be there for a month or longer like I was told before. But strangely the staff had told me I was going to be leaving in 3 days. Since my mood or mental state have improved while being their talking to their doctors. They said I’ll be sent home and will be given a therapist like the one I saw while being here. They had woken me up again this one night to take my blood and urine samples. It came back clean still. So I was in the clear. The day had come for me to leave that place. Waiting for my mom to pick me up because I know I could at least count on her to at least try to be on time. ( At this time my mother and I wouldn't be on good terms). She would arrive a little bit late, like about 30 mins. She asked if I would like to go to school that day. I would tell her no, at least not for today because I was still tired. Returning home I would take a shower, and then go to bed. When I wake up it would be one in the morning. I would try to go back to bed for a few mins, Unable to feel like I was back to how I used to be. Being able to wake up and remain unable to feel tired. I felt more relieved than I did when all of this started. I would feel as though I had more energy, like those memories that came flooding in when During the time I did take my life, weren't there like they were sealed again. I would text my ex, who use to be my current boyfriend before all that happened. I would see how he was doing , and apologize to him for what happened. I felt as though I owed him that much and exploitation as to how I was feeling that day. I would tell him everything, about how I don’t know if I can do love, how I don’t know if being happy can be something I can feel. We just decided to be friends for a bit. I did still care about him but I wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to date still. I was ok with just talking, I also came to realize I wasn’t over a few other ex’s I had before him. I planned to remain single but little did I know my cousin had a different thing. This cousin's name was nickoel. There were a few times me and her would hit heads, have fist fights, etc. She was also the cousin who fell a summer ago when I was living at the other place. I would talk to her, and she said something about an ex of mine. She would tell me how he missed me, how he wanted to actually try dating me again. My head was telling me no and so was my heart, I knew it was best I said no and just be his friend and thats what I told her to tell him. I gave her my new number, and social media for him to text or call me. I would then try to talk to my cousin and that's when she started asking for money, at first I thought nothing of it so I did ask my mom for us to go get food. She said no at first because she just got home from running errands. I would reach for my phone in my pockets and to my surprise I had $20 in it. At first I knew I didn’t have anything. I knew my mom didn’t give it to me because I just asked her. My household would be ruled out since my mom turned into a house mom, my siblings at the time were too young to have a job, and I wasn’t focused on finding a job because I wanted to just focus on school and graduating. I would have a few questions as to how it got there. I couldn’t think of anyone or how it got there so it must have magically appeared. I say that because it wasn’t in my pocket before. I would tell my cousin to meet me at the store close to my house. They were already there before I even texted. I would meet them and ask how come they were not in school, I knew Why I wasn’t because I felt like something would’ve set me off at school. They would tell me because they ain’t have school that day. I would question how strange it was if there wasn’t anyone besides them out. Not bringing it up we would go to get some food. It was nice just talking and chilling with my cousins at the time, all we did was talk about the fun we had when we snuck out that night. Soon it was turning into 3 pm. Returning home my siblings wouldn’t be out of school so I was just in my room playing a game. I wouldn’t sign into my social media for a time because I still felt uneasy about using it. So I would watch youtube videos, or listen to music in my room. Night would come and I would fall asleep around 8 pm. Waking up to get ready for school around 4am, I would think maybe I could get a little more rest in. I would try but I was up, up so sleep wouldn’t be necessary. My ride had come to take us to school. Getting there some friends asked if I was alright. What happened, and why didn’t I tell them what was going on. There were a few people that knew of what happened. That being my sister who was going to the school with me, or my ex. I ruled out my ex because he didn’t go to the same school as I was so he wouldn’t know any of the people I knew. I felt overwhelmed because all day it felt as though my friends and teachers were keeping an eye on me to make sure I was alright. At first I would try to ignore it because I wanted to get the day over with. I would meet my other two friends when I came to find out they were dating. I wasn’t surprised much because I had a feeling they would run into each other sooner or later. I was shipping them together for some time anyway. They would ask how I am doing as well I would tell them what I would do to everyone who asked. “ I’m alright” I was feeling socially drained, I was missing the fact that there weren't people paying attention to me being around. I would turn on social media. As soon as I went on, a few of my friends from school including some of the ones that already graduated would ask how I was. I would text them all. One of them would tell me to check up on my friend Simon. I would text him, wait to hear back from him, it would be an hour until I check my phone again to see if he texts. No reply, I would ask my friend who told me to check up on them. “ what happened?” They would tell me a lot of stuff that went on when I was gone. I would try calling him during my passing period, it either went to voicemail after a few rings. I would then tell them to text me back as soon as possible. Still no reply I would feel more and more worried. I started to ask around the friend group to see if anyone heard from them. They each would say no they haven’t for some time. Everyone would text him to see and they said the same thing. Later on that day I ran into another ex, I would go up to ask if he talked to him. He was annoyed or seemed mad at me about something. I didn’t know what it was but I wasn’t too worried about it because my main concern was my friend who just went missing soon after I did. I would try easing myself from the stress I was feeling about my missing friend so I don’t have another breakdown trying to find out what happened to him while also feeling overwhelmed. Two more hours go by, and I threaten my friend that I will come to his place as soon as I'm out of school. He would finally reply “ saying don’t threaten me”. “ Good you answered, what happened, and sorry I was away”.  “ it’s just school, and family issues i’m having”. I would ask him to explain. He would tell me everything that was going on, I would ask if he needed a hug or anything. “ Not today I’m busy today but if I’m free sometime soon then yeah, other than that I should be fine.”  When the day ended, I would get a text from my cousin saying my ex wanted to meet up. Asking when and where they told me at 10 pm or later on. I would stay up for a bit waiting on a text or call. Around 12 am I would tell them ok I’m heading to bed now I waited long enough and I’m tired. They would try to convince me to stay up longer but the body had other plans. So I would fall asleep immediately as soon as the last text went through. Waking up, I wouldn’t bother with my phone because I felt as though I had enough of it for one week. Leaving my phone in my room that whole day while I was at school. The moment I stepped into my room I felt a change. I would sit on my floor to do some meditation because I felt a bit unease with how exhausted I was socially. While in the middle of it my phone would go off a few times because my cousin was calling. They called about 5 times beforehand. I would answer by asking her what it was. She would ask me if I could sneak out with the car to pick up my ex because she said he wanted to hangout. I would tell her sure, Later that night I would grab the keys and start to head to pick up my cousin first because he was only contacting her. I did find it weird that he wouldn’t text me directly because I did give him my number and stuff. Grabbing them we would head to the place she said he was living. I wasn’t aware this was some random person's place we go to for them to get high. At this point I was uncomfortable and ready to leave and I was telling them that. They would tell me to wait a bit longer because he was on his way. I would just sit for a bit to see because I did want to finally see him in person. I waited for about an hour and a half for him to show. I decided it was time to go because I still had school and needed sleep. They were being pursitant on me staying longer saying he's still coming and is on his way. I was getting annoyed, I wouldn’t want to wake any longer because I was already uncomfortable as it was going to this guy I didn’t know and being filled with smoke. I leave out the door, they follow soon after because I was their ride. We didn’t arrive home until 3am. I would go to sleep. Missed my alarm , my mom would try waking me up, When I woke up I saw blood. I was having a nose bleed again. But it was that time of the month for me to have one. But it wasn’t a regular nose bleed I was having. I felt lightheaded, like I could barely stand. I would tell my mom i'm not feeling well, she let me stay home as soon as my mom left my room door. Getting up trying to hold myself up using the wall , I try to go to the bathroom for the tissue. I needed to stop the bleeding because it was a lot. I would then grab the mop to clean up the blood on the floor. Returned to lay back down to rest some because there wasn’t much for me to do besides just to wait until it stopped. I would take a nap while I waited, having a dream about the door again but it was closed. To my surprise the door wouldn’t come open, but a voice could be heard. “ It is almost time, it is almost time, it is almost time, It is almost time.” was all the voice said at the time. I would look around for whose voice it was. “ Who's there? Are you hurt?Are you lost?What do you mean it is almost time? Time for what?” These were the questions I would ask. “ I am something that is to come when it is time. I am something that you're about to be in the upcoming future, something not even you can change. As a large shadow Towers over both me and the door. The shadow began to shrink not because the person was getting closer, but because the person was shrinking down to my height. A dark cloud covering the body a hand reaches forward. “ Come on, you know I’m right so why not make it sooner, let me out because once your humanity is gone I’ll begin to leak out no point in denying it either. For everything will come to an end eventually.” I would slowly reach my hand out, another voice would call out saying don’t. This voice sounded familiar to me but I couldn’t tell who it was. Soon a small ball of light descended down . it glowed bright and got brighter as it spoke. “ He won’t become you, Because that’s not what he was meant to do. Even if it’s not time now He won't become you as long as his friends, family , and the key is around. He won’t turn into for as long as he lives because he has people he will protect and would rather die than see them hurt.” the shadow would become mad. “ Just you wait, the moment he's at his weakest is when I can enter, he will lose it , lose his trust in those he cares about most in this world. Once he do I’m free, and I plan to get rid of each one little by little or all at once for him to be alone.” I would wake up, my heart would feel as if it was beating out of my chest. I would grab on to my chest because it was in pain. It was so painful that I did feel like I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Going to school a few teachers would tell all of the seniors we had projects to do before we graduated . I would get started on a few of my classes because I was finished with its work before class ended. For others there wasn’t a project to do, it was only half my classes just asking for assignments. Before school ended I would finish up to at least two of my assignments in my last period. I would walk home with two friends, the couple I was shipping. Stopping by one of their houses to make sure he got him, me and her walked to hers. I would begin to walk home alone. Getting in the door there was a family meeting, my mom, her boyfriend, and my younger siblings were in the living room packing. My mom would tell me we are moving to Montana the moment I graduate and have my diploma. I did feel shattered by this news because me and my friends made plans for the summer. I had finally made friends and had plans to spend time with them. Sadly this wouldn’t be the case, I didn’t have a choice in the matter either because I had nowhere else I could stay so I would have to go with them. I would begin to pack. While I was packing I would make a group chat with my friends, letting each of them know I'm leaving. Not just leaving but I wouldn’t be close by at all for the summer until who knows how long. They each started asking me when and where I was moving. I would tell them, they each wanted to spend more time with me because they saw it was around the corner. Prom was also coming up as well. With prom I did want to ask a certain someone if they would like to come with me but we weren't on talking terms. I would then ask the guy I was seeing even though I wasn’t happy with him. I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. I would ask him to prom, not doing a huge proposal because I wasn’t looking to go, Let alone with someone I wasn’t happy with. I didn’t want to have a slow dance either with him because I felt as though I'm forced into this relationship to keep one for someone else's benefit. One of the biggest and final moments of highschool was around the corner and I wasn’t looking forward to going for plenty of reasons. I didn’t love the person I was with, I had a feeling I'm going to be going and dancing alone or becoming bored. Originally I wanted to go to prom with Nash because I did promise him I would, I also felt a connection with him unlike I do with everyone else. I guess you could say being around him made me happy. With Nash I would have my guard completely down whenever he’s around. I would tell my family about prom and how I didn’t want to go, I just wanted to stay home. My mom and her boyfriend would pressure me into going even if I'm alone. I would tell my friend “ I guess I'm going to prom.” Daisy and Simon would be happy because that means they get to spend time with me before I go. I still didn’t want to be there. I would have preferred to stay home and not go at all. Prom would come about 2 weeks later during the last few days of April, we would get this announcement saying “ No one can drive their cars to the location prom was, if you are not on the bus before 7pm they will leave.” Hearing this my friends would ask if I got my ticket, I would tell them not yet. As soon as the bell rang it was time for lunch and I began to walk to the office. I would get a text. “ Hey boo, what are you doing?” I felt something was off so my first thought was my cousin. I wouldn’t ask this question again because the last time this was asked he would show me. So instead I would just tell him “ Nothing much , just going to pay for my ticket to prom.” Since I didn’t want to go to prom in the first place I wouldn’t ask him. Not to mention I wasn’t happy with him, I had every intention of just ending our relationship, which is why I haven’t talked to him for about a week. He would reply “ Oh, can I give him the money to pay for his ticket to go to? “ At first I was thinking of just saying no but I really didn’t want to go, even if it was one of the few nights I had left to see my friends. “ I would tell him yeah just meet me at the dean's office I’ll just pay for yours and get my own later.” He wouldn’t meet me there so I waited 5 more mins before I went to sit down at the table with a few of my male friends. No show so I would just leave, going to sit down at the table I would receive a text. “ Hey bae, can you give the money to your cousin, she will give it to me.” My first thought was to just say No, fuck you but instead I would just say yes. The school day would end, I wouldn’t take my ride home, I would just walk. The reason for it was because I was being stressed out by my mom about going to prom and her saying how much of a so-called amazing time I will have going. The walk was more so to relax and clear my mind, because I was also stressed about moving as well since we still needed to pack for this long trip we have to do soon. Not to mention my friends wanted to hangout with me more now that I won’t be in the state so us hanging out will be a no after high school. Getting home my mom would ask if I got the tickets. I would tell her no because I lost the money, she wasn’t aware I gave it to my cousin for this guy. I have my doubts he will come since we never met in person let alone never actually talked. My hopes weren't very high for prom, or seeing the guy I was dating. Later that night I would have a vision, we would move and I had to say goodbye to some friends, but I had made some new ones. The dream would end and everything would turn back to black for a moment. There would be a window I would look out of soon after in that dream, I would look out to see the moon shining brightly in the night sky. This dream would end there. I would wake up because I heard a heartbeat in the middle of the night. It didn’t sound like the ones that were in my house already. It sounded abnormal almost like it was slowed to the point someone was dead. I would get up and leave my room, check around the house for this. Looking around the heartbeat started to disappear, at first I could’ve sworn it was in the living room, then somehow in my bathroom, then it went to my kitchen. Then it completely stopped. Each place I checked it would move to a different place in my house before I entered one of the rooms. It was Friday now, which means the last day for tickets, I would go early before classes start and get my ticket. I would go show my two best friends I got it. They were excited about me coming, and we would go there as a trio. They both asked what I was going to wear to prom, to tell the truth I had no clue as to what so going suit shopping was kinda a last min thing I was gonna have to do. As soon as school was over I would go to the men's warehouse for a suit, while I’m there I’m getting the suit tailored, while also trying it on so that it can fit me accordingly. The was a navy blue blazer and pants, with a white button up and red bow tie. Leaving the store heading home my mom was happy for once about something I did. Prom being the next day I would fall asleep early. I would have a dream about my friend cutting her wrist, and bleeding out in her bed. When this happened someone came inside and screamed. I would wake up from it with my heart pounding out my chest. I would text her soon after and tell her this letting her know to call someone please if she was to feel suicidal. I would stay up the rest of the night because within those dreams I can’t tell time, So knowing when it will happen would be an issue, the where and how wasn't much of a problem. I wouldn’t fall asleep until sunrise that night. I would be asleep for only 4 hours, waking up making breakfast, and doing some packing. My room would be done and ready to go for us to leave. I would then go into the living room to help my mom out with packing. The living room would be completed within 2 hours. The only thing that was left out was the tv, the stand and couches. The pictures, desk, and computer were packed. The kitchen was next, which took almost everyone in the house to do. The kitchen didn’t take long to do because it was mostly bowls, forks , knives, pots, pans, spoons, and plates. We were giving away the food when we left so we didn’t worry about packing it. The only person who didn’t help out with packing was my mom’s boyfriend. He broke his back and the doctors said it was from his constant drinking. It has been broken since he doesn’t do any heavy lifting. He mostly stayed in the room in the basement in the bed since no one wanted to pick him up. Most of us didn’t want to because of the way he smelled and carried himself. Plus he had crushes and a walking cane. Everyone else had their rooms to do, most of them had to share a room. I was the only one who wasn’t sharing so my thoughts were that it shouldn’t take them long to do. None of them bothered in packing. The time was close to me having to leave out for prom, I put my suit on, and to my surprise my mom came to see me off. We took some pictures inside the house and outside. I was happy to see my family together for this day, even if it was one of the last few times we would. My mom would drive me to prom, a few of my cousins I call my brothers drove with us. My god father would meet us up there, take a few pictures with me, and I would go inside. Meeting my friends, everyone was getting their pictures taken. My friends would ask if I had a date and if he was coming. I told them no, they were disappointed since they knew I was dating someone. My friends were aware I had given the money to him but gave it to my cousins instead. They were mad but they saw I wasn’t bothered by it, so we left out for the bus to take us to our destination. The bus would leave until 7 pm. I would fall asleep because the ride would be long and my two friends were on another bus. Getting to the Museum of science and industry. I would just stick with my friends for a bit, and just walk around the museum. Most of the museum was closed off so there wouldn’t be much to see besides a hatchery, the train cars and a few other things. I would soon get bored with walking around and seeing the same thing . Not to mention the couples and lovely people. I didn't want to intrude on my friends because it's prom they are with someone, while I'm just there. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to spend this time with them. It was a good memory that will continue to play in my head. Just prom was a boring thing for me so I fell asleep until it was over. Arriving back home from prom, me and my friends would try to figure out a ride. I was tired from prom being bored as it was. I just walked home. My friends would ask if I was sure because they can give me a ride home. I would tell them yes, since I knew if I called my mom she would say " have one of your friends bring you home, as much as you go to their house and pick them up have them drop you off." The truth was I wanted to forget about prom completely.  As nice as it was going with them, I personally felt bad about going without my other person. I'm not saying my other person and I were dating either because we weren't. We weren't talking either so it would be hard to walk up to them and say would you go to prom with me. Getting home I would go right to my room and just take off the clothes I was wearing completely naked. I would then just lay down and go to sleep. I wouldn't want to go to school for the last few weeks because I was already caught in most of my credits and only would have to go to summer school for about a week to make up two. I would just stay home, write in a book I had for when I was feeling a certain way. Then listen to music and just go on some walks. I would just walk around the neighborhood and sometimes ride my bike. Coming back inside I would then make me some tea, since it was known to keep me calm. Tea was also my favorite drink, though it depends on the tea and how it was made. Because let's face it, tea can be disgusting if not made properly. Go back inside my room took a nap. For the most part that's how this would go for the next few weeks while I was out of school. I didn't see a reason for me to come back to school if I knew I was caught up and would just be I'm summer school supposedly for a week. Gym though most people wouldn't understand why I chose not to take part in it. Wasn't because I don't like my teacher, but because I was already getting a workout done at home, such as going on runs or walks, and having fights with my cousins who lived close by. Reading well shouldn't be a surprise because reading was a challenge for me because I have dyslexia and it makes it so hard to read that it becomes so easy for me to get lost as to what I was reading. It wouldn't matter how fast or how slow I would read words just become jumbled up, looking like just scquillys, or out of place sentences. There is so much more I could say about what reading is like for me, but hey it was just writing a paragraph or trying to make a paragraph out of very few words I could read. Graduation day came, I would wear a lime green button up shirt, and some pants. I would try to do a tie but I would call my friend Mimi Over. She was a part of the band so she was going to be at the graduation either way. Mimi was the first person who came to my house, soon after a few of my family members came to congratulate me. Getting ready to go, a bunch more of my family started to show. I only was given 10 tickets,  being 5 extra because someone I know Said their family wasn't coming. I told him I would cheer for him even if I can't control how loud I can be. Me and mimi would ride in my Godfather's car with my Godfather. I drove us of course, arriving at graduation. We graduates will be in the auditorium. I would walk up to my two friends that's there though each of our last names was before each other. We were excited because it was our last day of highschool.  We would put on our cap and gowns,  going in a line. To be seated. As each of us heard our names we each begin to walk up to get our diploma. As soon as I heard my name I didn't just hear 10 people I heard almost 40, took me by surprise. As my last name was one of the last ones to be called we turned our sash. That would be the end of the class of 2018. My two friends and I decided to walk home. My one friend would ask if we would like to do something at her place. I told her I can't because I have people over at mines. Me and my friend Jason walked home , I would walk him home then arrive at mines. It was a party to my surprise as well . I haven't seen my family together in a long time. It was something that I felt good about. I was happy to see my family enjoying themselves,  talking, dancing, playing games, listening to music, eating food and just having a good time. This was something that was taken from me as a child, and something that will always bring a smile to my face. I was going to cry but I held those tears in because it was a cause to be happy and celebrate, I didn't want this day to end. I had felt happy again, something I had lost over the years. I didn't want it to end because I was so happy to see my family together, a connection I had lost years ago. I would need to pick up one of my best friends. I would ask if someone wants to ride with me because I didn't have a license yet. My dad offered to come with us. We took my Godfather's white jeep there. Picking her up from the school I would invite my friend's crush to come over. My friend and her crush would just chill in my room. I would chill with them every 10 mins. The day would end and everyone would return home, but it was the most fun I had. Summer school had started. The first class I did was reading to make up for that credit. I would be done with it not long but within about an hour. With that being done I was given permission to leave early. The next day at the gym, they wanted me to either run or walk a mile. I chose to walk, again I still saw no purpose for me to waste energy I would be using later. I was done for the day. Left and went to my cousin's house. Me, my cousins and uncle would go for a walk towards the store. My uncle decides to have a race with me. I would start off slow to assess how fast he was, slowly getting faster and faster the more I assessed him. Soon I passed him up making it to the store. My uncle bought us what we wanted. I got some candy and juice because I was craving something sweet. My cousin's got juice and some chips. We headed back to their place because we had a little game we played. Soon after me and them would get into a fun little fight more of a two against one, my two cousins because their sister would sit it out from the walk we were on. It was getting late and I needed to get home to finish up the last of my house. I left when the sun was setting which means for me I'm returning back to the house close to night. Coming home I would prepare for bed because it was my last night here. The next morning my friends had come, not only to see me off, but help out a bit. We hung out the last few days playing games, and just talking about things how we wanted it to be after high school. I hugged them one last time at sunset. My uncle had come and so did my grandmother. They helped us pack the truck and leave. We hit the road. I wanted to say off to new adventures but I knew that at the end of it not everyone I knew will be there.