I opened my eyes. I was lying on my back and felt… pretty good, all things considered. Considering my last thoughts… my last…. My last…

My status blinked and my environment was unknown but nothing could escape my last thoughts, my last experience, now unclouded by exhaustion. I fell into a stupor…

And remembered. 

****

Over a thousand bodies lay dead, re-dead, after I had slaughtered them. I’d turn into a mechanical force, killing mindlessly. The fast ones had gotten easier, as I’d used the environment to the best effect possible, but it had still been tough and touch and go. Over a dozen bodies flinging themselves at you at such a rapid pace, only increasing and increasing, makes it hard. 

I had wounds, but they were light. At least, they felt light. My endurance stat was paying off, as the hands of the undead were unable to harm me as easily. It was as if my skin had become half an inch thicker. Extremely important when facing enemies that were using sharp fingernails as weapons. 

By some miracle, I’d managed, but now my mind was gone and my body so tired that even staying awake was difficult. My back was to the wall but that distance hardly mattered for my next enemy. More on instinct than anything else, I raised my Katana, my sword, blocking a Black Skeleton. 

The Final Boss of this Challenge. 

I stared into those pitch black abyss, it’s face a permeant scowl of anger on it’s elongated morphed skull. Its body still had what seemed to be hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny bones connecting between the empty space of it’s larger bones. Like evil black plaster. It’s finger were still sharp as claws, immediately aiming for my face, blocked only inches away. 

It’s claws moved, no hesitation, no weakening, no thoughts or emotions, just a creature of pure action and movement. I was tired, too tired, weak and exhausted. But I’d come prepared. My aura lit up, the last vestiges of it being burned to retaliate. I’d used up more than I thought I had. My mind was too tired. 

I swung and it did not dodge. Horrifying, fast, terrible, many many things… but only so smart. It was a creature of instinct, burning up the slight emotions the fast zombies had to eventually become this. Dodging was not in it’s framework of mind. My attack hit it’s bones… and cleaved right through.

I was not the same Matt as before. My sword severed it’s hand and arm down the middle, and yet the true terrifying nature of the Skeleton showed itself. It didn’t stop. It didn’t react with pain or surprise or anything even remotely human. It simply swung it’s arm again, trying to cleave through my armor, and failing. 

I swung, my lazy swings blessedly back up by the swords sharp nature. I had aimed for the torso… and it kept going. I swayed on my feet, my vision going black, as exhaustion tried to over take. A sharp feeling in my foot had me opening my eyes, barely. Looking down, I saw a third of a skeleton, trying to stab me in the foot with it’s one working arm. 

I raised my black blade, and as much leaning on it for support as attacking, pierced down, through it’s head. There was a resistance for half a moment, the first I’d felt since having the sword, and then it went through. 

The sense of it finally being over washed over me and exhaustion brought me down. 

****

I blinked up at the dark sky, it once again being morning. I’d done it, I’d really done it. I’d won. I’d won against the zombies, the fast zombies, the hordes, and even the Black Skeleton. My body wasn’t in pieces, wasn’t dying in a sewer, wasn’t being torn apart or bleeding out. I’d won… and was able to live to tell the tale. Tears welled up in my eyes. A strangled shout nearly left my lips but caution had been baked into me, even now. 

Slowly, cautiously, I raised my head. Looking around, I was shocked and disturbed to note… there was no building around me anymore. The whole store had seemingly vanished but I was still clearly in the same spot. That horde of zombies outside had also vanished. Well… not so much vanished. I knew where they’d gone. I’d killed them, but there had been more in the challenge than just the ones outside. I wonder if I’d killed them, I’d have faced an easier challenge? It was impossible to know now. 

I was alone… but I was also in a large open area. I didn’t know whether that was safer than hiding in a building or not at this point… 

I finally opened my blinking status.

[Achievements Unlocked!] 

[Challenger: You completed a Challenge! +1 Magic] 

[Titles Unlocked!] 

[A Good Sport: You participated in a Challenge, deciding to go along with the Gameshow! +10% to all stats] 

Suddenly it felt like I had gotten slammed by a Qi point, as both of those things took effect. I stared at the ‘Title’ in shock. That… that was major. When, if, I had 100 in a stat, another +1 of something might not matter, but a +10%? That would always be useful, and it was +10% in everything. 

I quickly flickered my status to see what it looked like now… and it was very different. 

[Name: Matt

Level: 1 

Free stat points: 0

Qi points: 11

Qi Rank: Qi Condensation Rank 4

Achievements: [Welcome to The Gameshow] [The Royal Road] [Humanity’s First Fear] [Creative Care] [Boned] [Anti-Dues Ex] [Legs For Days] [Bleed To Bleed Another Day] [Challenger]

Titles: [A Good Sport] 

Strength: (9) (+10%) 9

Speed: (11) (+10%) 12

Endurance: (16) (+10%) 17

Magic: (10) (+10%) 11

Mind: (14) (+10%) 15] 

I blinked at the absolute mess the simple numbers had become for a moment, but it wasn’t hard to follow. It was also interesting that the +10% didn’t seem to count partials or anything less than ten. Another point in strength would be worth two in that case. 

And those Qi points… I was practically salivating. 

I felt a disturbance in the tapestry of the universe… and then felt disturbed I could feel that.

A Care Package spawned in. The same grey and yellow tote it always was. 

Before that… I looked around my surroundings. I grabbed the box and began to walk, my katana out, ready to slash. It was an awkward carry with only one arm, but I was ready to drop it at a moment’s notice. It could have anything in it and while some were amazing, it was better to be prepared. Last time they’d given me a check up on my friends and dog and for that… 

“Thank you Gods and Goddesses, for yesterday. I know I said it already, but thank you.” 

I’d decided that I was going to try to have an open mind and not blame the viewers. The only people I should be blaming are the evil bastards that made the Game Show in the first place. The viewers mostly seemed to want to have fun and help me. And I could use all the help I could get. 

Sitting next to a manhole cover, just in case it started raining chocolate or something again, I opened the box. 

Only for my eyes to go wide at another tie. That couldn’t be normal, this many ties. I had no idea why so many were happening. This time, it was only two options though. 

The first was… I’d seen this one before. It was Qi points. I didn’t know how many but I had feeling it was more than one. That was always going to be a good option and I would have been overjoyed to have it. But yesterday, it’d also been there, and the pictures had been thousands of times better at least. It had told me that everyone was still alive, for now. That was worth more than any amount of Qi points could be. 

The second option was… I frowned. What the… it was a tiny man, who became a tiny woman, and then back. No features or anything, more like an empty doll than anything else. What on earth was that meant to be? 

Instead of a clover or a box, a coin appeared this time. It flipped, making a ching sound, and landed on… two.  

The box and the Qi points began to melt away, as the second option floated up and- 

“GAaH! 

A scream pulled itself out of me, as my whole body began to feel like it was on fire, except without the pain. Heat exploded from within me, as my entire body felt like it had been dunked in lava. My body locked up, unable to move, and in my mind I swore to never open these again without being somewhere absolutely safe. 

That thought was dashed against the rocks and broken away, as I felt my body changing and morphing. I stared in horror, feeling like I was going to melt down, as chest expanded, my waist changed, my face, skin, and bones morphed, and my hair began to grow longer. The worst was down below, as I felt an incredible strange mix of shrinking and then an alien sensation crawl through me, as more changed. 

By the time it was finally over, I was huffing and puffing, my body feeling like it should be releasing steam. W-What on earth had that been?  

“Wha-” I began to speak, only to become shocked as the sound of my own voice. It wasn’t… mine. It actually sounded distinctly… female. My pupils shook and my eyes widened, as I quickly stood up in hysteria and looked down at my own body. 

Breasts. Even through the armor, I could feel them. It wasn’t the only thing I could feel. Long hair spooled down my back, as my hips felt smaller and I’d grown shorter. Every part of me felt distinctly different and I could see why. I was more… frail? My skin smoother, my arms hairless, my face different. And although I dared not look… my groin felt… empty. And like… something else was there. 

Not believing it, trying to distract myself, I called up my status. 

“Status.” My own voice sending shivers down my spine. This… this couldn’t be happening. 

[Name: Matt (Madison. 24 hour Temporary Gender Change)

Level: 1 

Free stat points: 0

Qi points: 11

Qi Rank: Qi Condensation Rank 3

Achievements: [Welcome to The Gameshow] [The Royal Road] [Humanity’s First Fear] [Creative Care] [Boned] [Anti-Dues Ex] [Legs For Days] [Bleed To Bleed Another Day]

Titles: N/A

Strength: (9) (+10%) 9

Speed: (11) (+10%) 12

Endurance: (16) (+10%) 17

Magic: (10) (+10%) 11

Mind: (14) (+10%) 15] 

I had become a woman! I had become a woman?! What the fuck! 

My eyes had jumped to ‘Gender Change’ only to calm down a bit, as I saw it was temporary. That, that, that was better than it being permanent. I didn’t want to be a woman. I… oh god, what if I have to pee? It was already scary enough going to the bathroom in this damn world! 

The gods had turned me into a woman. What the absolute fuck?! What was that ‘Madison’ nonsense?! I… deep breaths. Deep breaths. It was temporary, just… just another prank. 

“You… you know… I might think these pranks were actually funny if I wasn’t in life or death situations! You know my friends and dog need me and you… ugh. Whatever.” 

Don’t get angry at the gods, don’t get angry at the gods, don’t get angry at the gods. They’re just… capricious. And I’m in a stressful situation. They probably saw me get a ton of Qi points and thought they had the spare room to prank me or something. Or maybe not, what did I know about them? I was guessing based on how I thought people watching TV would act. For all I knew all the gods were insane. Pranks and good fortune, like fairies or fey, with the rare potential for negatives. Fine. Fine! They could have their pranks, they more than deserve it. They got me my sword, my armor, and even allowed me to check up on my friends. If they want me to be a woman for a day, fine. 

I took a few steps… and immediately grimaced. I could feel… a lot. Ignore it, just ignore it. I swung my Katana a few times and it… well… it was different but not disastrously so. I wouldn’t want to get into any fights today if I could help it but I wouldn’t helpless either if it came down to it. 

Ignoring the world’s most disturbing care package so far, I focused on something much better. My Qi points. I had 11 Qi points. While I could drop those on stats… who knew when I’d get this many again? I finally had enough for something. 

“Store.” 

[Store: 

Supplies - 1 Qi

Basic Weapon and Armor - 3 Qi

+3 to all stats - 5 Qi

Unlock a Skill - 10 Qi

Rare Magical Item (Consumable OR Weapon OR Item) - 50 Qi

+1 Extra Life - 500 Qi]

I’d be giving up a +10 to all my stats… well, maybe. I knew there had to be something up with Qi if 5 cost 3 stats to each, but I didn’t know what yet. But I was theoretically giving up a +10 in everything for skills. 

But… there had to be a reason skills were priced higher than a +6 in all stats. I was willing, and literally was, betting it was better. 

“Unlock a Skill.” 

[Are you sure?]

“Ye-.” 

Right before I completed the word, the world seemed to wrap and snap around me. My new body froze in place, words unable to leave me. I looked around, horrified, wonder what on earth was happening but then the teleportation seemed to be finishing and I found myself some place else. 

*****

I arrived in what seemed to be…. Wait. Wait! I knew this place! If I was here then- 

“Hello!” Said a voice I could never forget. My eyes pivoted… then widened in surprise. It was the Hostess, the Goddess… but she didn’t look like she had. She still had long black hair, wearing her Game Show latex outfit. Her smile was still sharp and her chest… I tried not to stare and thanked the Gods that my own Gender change had been so… light… in comparison. But it seemed like standing was difficult for her and she was leaning against a chair. Her eyes were bloodshot and she looked absolutely tired. 

“Sorry about this! Look, it was either this… or I was going to straight up pass out. We’ll talk more another time but there’s been two little changes. Rather than go back in time and rewrite all of reality… I decided to just do a software update! I’ll patch these right over the words in your head, my little gift to you not forgotten! 

“First! The time got dysynced a little bit. I know you don’t understand Matt, oh, it’s Madison right now right? Sorry, sorry. Not good to use your old name right?” She winked at me and I felt my blood boil a little. 

“Anyway my dear young woman, it takes way more effort than you’d think to hold the gods and this world to a 1 to 1 time existence. Even harder than I thought. Simply put Madison, I am tired. And it’s only been 5 days! I have to do this for a year? Nuh-uh, no way, I’ll really die. So first change: 

“Time will no longer be 1 to 1. I’ll be taking weekends off! And sometimes, I’ll probably just fail. Hopefully those days are rare! It hasn’t happened yet! Though… ‘Today’ is… a little more off than I’d like hehe. Well, you make a fantastic Gameshow, you run into a few fun bumps along the way. For all my dear viewers, I would like to point out just how ‘long’ each episode is. I’m doing 5k a day. That is tough! Again, Madison, don’t worry about that. None of this even affects you! This is purely for the Gods and Goddesses watching.” 

“Two! This one does affect you. And this one I will be taking the time to rewrite reality to add in. It is a significantly small change, although I will only be ‘adding’ it in. You’ll be acting like you simply didn’t notice it till right now, as if you heard my words but they only now became relevant to your mind! And that is: 

“Patrons now also count as ‘Likes’.” 

My heart skipped a beat. The Goddess, the Hostess, had been right. The first one really affected the people watching more than me. I’d still receive daily care packages, even if time moved faster for them. But the second… that would be more likes. Wasn’t it 55 last time? I might get levels even faster. 

“Ah, it’s so good to see the Mind stat doing its job. Oh, don’t worry about some nasty personality changes or anything. That would be boring. It simply firms up your own will against outside mental factors and increases your natural recovery from stressful stimuli. In other words, it’s ‘mental fortitude’. Push through pain, exhaustion, the terror of monsters both big and small! But you’re still all you.” 

Just like the first time I’d met the Goddess, she seemed intent to drown me in words and not give me a single chance to speak. Though, she’d said we’d speak more so- 

“You know I have things to do? Running this Game Show is sadly not at easy as simply dropping you in. Lots of behind the scenes stuff. Or did you think Rick and Jessica were still alive by pure chance? There is no plot armor this time… for you. The ones for Rick and Jessica are on an invisible timer. Let me be clear though, you are not going fast enough. I will kill them. That threat makes the rest of this world have value to the gods. You’re going particularly slowly for your dog Spot. Oh! And one last thing.” 

“I have a name. Warix Viviana at your service, at least this avatar of me!” 

She tipped a black and red top hat that hadn’t been there a moment ago, doing a little bow. 

“Enjoy the Game Show!” 

There was a snap and a crackle and- 

*****

[Are you sure?] 

My mind whirled as I became able to move again. I’d seen her again. That had been… a lot. My body felt slick with sweat and my mind spun. I focused on the words she had said. 

First… the time change didn’t matter to me at all, did it? Time would still pass normally for me and for the Gods. It just wouldn’t be as synced.

Second though… I might get a level tomorrow immediately. I could even see why the change was made. Patrons were, well, sponsors. They probably kept the show chugging along. Including them in ‘likes’ made people more likely to actually join. That made perfect sense and… and only helped me. My feelings towards Warix… I wish I could have asked them questions. I have no idea if they’re simply playing host or if they’re more responsible for this. I didn’t know who to direct my anger towards and more importantly, it was useless right now. I had to survive, I couldn’t afford to be angry all the time. 

Those may have been the changes but it hadn’t been all I learned. Jessica, Rick, and Spot were all still alive. They apparently did have ‘plot armor’, which meant that the Hostess was keeping them alive, even when they should die. But for how long? I had no way to know. Rather than feel relieved, it felt more like a ticking time bomb had been placed inside my head. I needed to save them. Quickly. 

And finally, well, it had been good to learn my mental stat wasn’t changing who I was. The hostess could be lying, but why? She can apparently rewrite reality. Even now, bringing up her words, it really was like I’d been missing a word this whole time.

“One. You may only level up after a certain amount of 'Likes'. For my fellow Gods and Goddesses, these are Follows, Rating, Reviews, and Patrons. All combined into one. For every 100 Likes, you gain 1 level. This won't make sense to you Matt, but this also includes all Follows, Ratings, and Reviews on Scribblehub and Royalroad. By popular demand from certain Gods and Goddesses, comments will be partially included. Every 1000 comments = 1 like. You would be amazed how much the Divine like to talk Matt.”

“And Patrons… like it’s always been there. That’s… insane.” 

The words weren’t like the screens, they didn’t pop into thin air, they were the words in my mind, forever remembered. Did she really… rewrite time itself? Or simply change my memories. 

The power of the God left me feeling uneasy and I shook it off. Honestly, everything had been good news, but it didn’t make me feel much better strangely. It was horrifying to randomly be teleported and apparently have time itself be rewritten. 

[Are you sure?] 

The words floated in my vision, asking me to confirm the skill. I had been thrown off for a bit but I was still sure about that. I needed to see how good skills were. 

“Yes.” 

Suddenly, my whole body locked up and a distinctly familiar feeling washed over me. Except this time, my body felt ice cold. It was like the darkest and coldest depths of the universe began to flow into my veins, as the darkness of the world began to flow in my pours. I stared in muted shock as my entire body seemed to become darker, edging a little towards midnight black, but settling on a kind of dark grey tone. Slowly, like a statue breaking out of it’s prison, I began to be able to move. And I was… filled with a strange energy. Not like Qi or Magic or anything but more like… like I was just hearty. Like I had when I’d touched the challenge and been refreshed, except constant. 

[Skills Unlocked!] 

[Body of Darkness: Passive Skill. Adapt to darkness so deep and so powerful, it’s an entity onto itself. Become nourished simply by being in the dark! Completely replaces your need for food and water. Increased healing while in areas without any light. Gain the ability to see in the dark, mostly. Decreases your need for sleep by half.] 

That… my mouth gaped open, staring at my own body and feeling the energy, actual normal energy, in me. That… that solved so many problems. I didn’t even know where to start. It was always dark. I no longer needed to desperately search for food and water. If it hadn’t been for a gas station, a supernatural amount of endurance, and a challenge refresh, I’d be a lot worse for wear. Now I never had to worry about that again. On top of that, it increased my healing. It doesn’t matter how much it increased, any increase would be amazing. If the skill only did that, I would have been happy. 

Being able to see in the dark and have to sleep half as much, the time when I was most vulnerable, was insane. I don’t know what I expected from a skill, maybe some kind of powerful attack, but now I could fully see why it cost 10 Qi. That was well worth it. 

I shook my head. It had seemed like a while but all of this had only taken some of the morning. The day was still fresh and ready and I actually had a plan. There’d been more than enough time to think of one in the last challenge. 

Ultimately, strength. That came in the form of challenges. Basically, I needed to do more. 10 Qi points was amazing. I had to find the next challenge as soon as I could and do it immediately, well, if I could do it. 

How hard can they be to find?

*****

This town is scary. Things crawled around, monsters, zombies, horrible blobs and vines. But I had started to feel like I’d seen everything. Like I knew all the monsters around. 

I was wrong. Nearly dead wrong, as I saw something in the darkness. It moved faster than I could catch but it looked… wrong. So, so very wrong. It had too many limbs and all in the wrong places, even though I only caught it’s shadow. 

It sent a fresh chill up my spine and was a good reminder. I could take Skeletons and Zombies, I really didn’t want to try to kill a slime with a sword or test myself against scorpion-ants, and there were clearly things I absolutely could not fight. 

It took me the better part of the day to move around the town. Part of it was just avoiding trouble, but another major part was looking for challenges. I tried to touch any major buildings or look for any clear ‘events’ but nothing. That was fine. I already had a destination in mind. 

Jessica had been in a hospital. That’s where I was heading. It’s not like I knew where it was though. However, I got lucky. Or maybe all small towns were more or less the same and I’d gotten used to walking around mine as a kid. The Hospital was nearly in the same ‘spot’ as the one I’d walked by when I was younger. Near the town, down a road, and to the right. 

Walking in the light of day still felt… strange. Surviving in the movies was always running from one horrible event to the next and I could see that. But there was a shocking amount of time where absolutely nothing happened, even though I didn’t have a roof over my head. Just, walking. It gave me too much time to think. Worry and anxiety were my new constant companions and I tried to snuff out the hope I was feeling when I actually saw the hospital. It wasn’t likely Jessica was in there. She could be in any hospital in any part of the world. 

Still, it couldn’t die completely. 

I made it to the front door, looking carefully for any monsters, but I didn’t see any. I creaked the front door open, katana ready, prepared. There’d been no challenge pop up. I began to explore and I hated myself just a little. There was possibly no creepier place to explore on earth, than an empty hospital while you knew monsters were about. 

I slowly crept through the halls, the echos of my footsteps the only sound. My nerves were shot and I was ready to attack the first thing I saw. 

I felt a pinprick on my neck. It was small, barely noticeable. I blinked and turned. Only to see a faceless nurse, needle in hand, already pulling out of my neck.

Oh. 

Oh fuc- 

My thoughts didn’t even have time to finish before I hit the ground, my vision going black.