Aunt Ellie sent me on an errand the next day. Mother had been looking pale, so she needed some blood-nourishing herbs from the physician. I donned my coverings before stepping out into the chilly morning.

My boots sounded louder than normal on the stone walkways. The mist from my breath made my gray veil seem even colder against my face. I hugged my shawl closer around my shoulders, trying to trap as much warmth as possible.

The late autumn was a surprisingly social time of year for the village. The harvest was over, but the winter work hadn’t yet begun. It was a time for merchants to come to visit, for trading to take place, and for news to be exchanged. 

I headed toward the center of the town, where the physician’s shop was located. I passed several other shops and stands along the way, hearing a string of conversations as I went.

“Enough bragging!”

“Yes, indeed! It’s time for action.”

“I’m so proud of those men, going up to the forest like that.”

“Another group went up today, you know.”

“…rid us of those vermin.”

“No other way, I think.”

“I heard Lord Yubran is finally taking notice.”

“It’s ‘bout time!”

“Them Smittas sure are a boon in these troubled times!”

I snorted quietly to myself. The villagers were skilled at congratulating themselves over things that had nothing to do with them. I suspected that they’d spend a week or two making daily trips up our little mountain (with no results) and then convince themselves that they’d saved the town from evil.

I walked into the physician’s shop, taking in the strange scents of hundreds of dried plants. The walls were covered in shelves and drawers, each one carefully labeled. A pair of elderly ladies were having a detailed discussion with the physician at the counter. One of the assistants—a teenage boy who viewed me with open hostility—approached me.

“What do you want?”

I handed him the prescription written out by the midwife. I didn’t speak, since that seemed to anger the people who already didn’t like me. The assistant stomped away, looking offended that I had business there.

Two other women came in while I was being served. They stood nearby, close enough that I could hear their murmured conversation while we all waited.

“The Hale girl is sick again.”

“The youngest one?”

“Mmmm. She might die this time.”

“She’s the one that…?”

The woman nodded solemnly.

The other woman sighed and shook her head. “What good are all these daytime warriors now?” she hissed. “Where were they during the summer when all those forest attacks were happening?”

“Oh, I know! I heard it was a kag.”

“I heard that, too!”

“I bet it’s still there, feeding on our children.”

“No wonder so many of them are sick.”

I frowned, folding my arms. Tsuki had said that Shin had left the area for the winter. Surely, there weren’t any other kags in the area. Why were there still rumors like that going around the village?

One of the women spotted me and they both shied away. They began whispering while staring pointedly in my direction. Did they think that I wouldn’t know that they were talking about me now? Did they think that somehow I was responsible for the sick children in the village?

The physician’s assistant returned with my bundle of herbs. I handed him the payment and hurried out of the shop.

I felt free to roll my eyes since my veil hid my expression. I was always irritated by my interactions with the villagers, but I reminded myself that it was better than being beaten by them. In that regard, my mother had been right that things were better.

I took a circular route home so I could pass by the cobbler shop. Tsuki was helping Master Heele in front, trying to be inconspicuous while two young women giggled in his direction. I made several passes until he noticed me, making faces at him each time.

I could tell that he was embarrassed by all the attention, but my teasing made him smile. Once I’d succeeded in annoying him, I went back home to deliver the herbs.

Aunt Ellie seemed breathless when I arrived. “Go wash up, they’ll be here soon.”

I stared at her blankly. “Who?”

She pushed me toward the water basin without answering, so I simply did as I was told. I took off my hat and veil, hanging them on the stand in the corner. I also set my gloves aside, but I left the rest of my clothing the same. I scrubbed my hands and face, patting them dry with a towel. Then I glanced in a small mirror to make sure my hair hadn’t escaped its braid.

As I was finishing, I heard the front door open.

Smitta Farlin’s heavy step sounded on the wooden floor, followed by an unfamiliar one. I turned to face Aunt Ellie, clutching my hands together anxiously.

“What’s he doing here during the day?” I whispered.

She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she breathed back. “Your mother just told me to make sure you’re ready.”

“Sticks and mud,” I hissed to myself, hearkening back to my days with Min and Budding.

I hurried out of the kitchen to the living room, where Mother was already waiting with the baby in her arms. Smitta Farlin and his master sat in the two armchairs as if they were grand thrones.

I’d never seen Grand Smitta Leen up close, so I found myself studying his sharp face.

He had a scholarly sort of appearance, perhaps because of his glasses. He could’ve looked kind and grandfatherly, but his expression prevented that. His pinched look of disapproval removed any trace of friendliness that might’ve been found.

The man looked me up and down as if studying some sort of disgusting specimen. I folded my arms tightly across my chest, ducking my head down.

“So,” he said slowly, “this is the being you mentioned.”

He spoke about me as if I wasn’t in the room. My eyes darted to my mother, who sat in the rocking chair with the baby. Devotion was starting to fuss, so she hummed a quiet lullaby to soothe him.

“Yes, teacher,” Smitta Farlin answered. “This is she.”

“Such a tragedy,” Grand Smitta Leen continued. “She could have been lovely, were it not for the mark of evil on her.”

Farlin nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, such a waste.”

I felt a flash of indignation. Were they saying that my only value was in how I looked? It wasn’t as if either of them was good-looking either. The double standard was maddening. If we were going to judge people’s value solely on their appearance, more men would suffer than women.

Besides, I was more than willing to work for a living. It wasn’t my fault that no one was willing to give me a chance.

A flood of words crowded in my throat, but I forced them down with some effort. It wouldn’t do any good to argue with those two old vultures, anyway.

“I am told she is called Theophana,” Grand Smitta Leen said, directing his words to my mother.

She straightened her back immediately, her expression becoming alert. “Yes, sir.”

I frowned. It would’ve been just as easy for him to ask me my name.

“It’s a strong name, steeped in tradition,” he mused. “One might hope that she would anchor herself in the innate character of such a name.”

Mother looked proud. “It was my great-aunt’s name.”

Grand Smitta Leen nodded. “I met her once,” he admitted.

“Really?” Mother and I asked at the same time.

All eyes turned to me with varying degrees of surprise that I’d spoken. Mother seemed a little concerned, while the two men appeared displeased. I hadn’t been told not to speak, so I didn’t see why they’d be upset.

“Yes,” Grand Smitta Leen went on after a moment. “She was being reprimanded for heretical ideas. I’m told she wasn’t always so wild, but I would hope that you would strive to be…better in your moral standing, especially given your natural disadvantages.”

I glanced at Mother again. Usually, she was the first to speak up in defense of Auntie Theophana, but she simply nodded.

“If you say so,” I muttered.

Leen studied me, rubbing his chin. “One would wish for her to look more repentant.”

Smitta Farlin inclined his head. “Yes, she does have an air of defiance about her.”

“How can she be so unashamed of herself?”

“It is surprising.”

“Shocking, really.”

“It’s due to her upbringing. She spent little time among humans, so she never learned proper shame for her heritage.”

My eyes darted between the two men. Were they talking about me? I couldn’t follow their conversation. I gave my mother a questioning glance, but she wasn’t helpful. She merely bowed her head as if she’d done something wrong.

“Mistress Dean,” Grand Smitta Leen said, bringing Mother’s head up once more, “I understand your distress. Don’t be disheartened, though. It’s not too late to fix these things.”

She didn’t look as confident as her husband in the Grand Smitta’s words. “Oh?”

The older man nodded. “I think that we can find use for your, uh, child.”

Mother’s eyes widened. Her arms tightened around the baby, even though they were talking about me. Her words tumbled out in a rush. “You’re not going to send her up the mountain, are you? You can’t expect a young girl to travel with soldiers, it’s not decent. Also, it’s not safe on that mountain. The last time we were there we were attacked by a nokk!”

I found myself staring at her in confusion. At first, I’d assumed she was talking about our little mountain by the village, but I realized that wasn’t the case. She was talking about the big mountain to the east.

“Soldiers?” I asked slowly. “What soldiers?”

Grand Smitta Leen was waving one of his hands, “That’s not what I mean, Mistress Dean.”

“What soldiers?” I repeated louder.

They all looked at me as if I’d said something strange. I took turns staring down each of them, waiting for one of them to answer me. Smitta Farlin was the first to recover, gesturing to the hallway over his shoulder.

“You aren’t needed here anymore, Theophana. Return to the attic.”

“But-”

He gave me a look that froze my words in my throat. I’d rarely seen his expression so icy and unforgiving. I didn’t dare to make another sound, no matter how many questions gathered in my mind.

I curtsied to them, fixing my gaze to the ground. As I walked past Smitta Farlin, he handed me a green pellet to eat once I reached my room. I bit back a sigh, holding it carefully in my hand. If it crumbled, I’d receive a whipping for ‘avoiding my punishment.’

I climbed the stairs to the attic, closing the door behind me. I leaned my head against the wall as I shut my eyes. I felt a terrible, sinking feeling in my stomach. 

I’d assumed that everything would be fine since the villagers were wasting their time in the nearby forest. Anything magical that could be easily found by humans had left that small mountain long ago. The remaining creatures could only be detected with a great amount of effort.

However, Mother had just said that soldiers had gone to the big mountain. That was a completely different story.

The big mountain was thriving with all sorts of magical life. It was far enough from human settlements that it was like a sanctuary. If soldiers had been sent there (not just villagers with farming tools, but actual soldiers with weapons), the beings living there were in danger.

“Where did the soldiers come from, anyway?” I asked aloud.

“The Smittas convinced Lord Yubran to send them, of course,” said a gravelly voice from behind me.

I spun around, staring at the shadowy corner of the room. I immediately recognized the voice, but I simply couldn’t believe it. I had to confirm it with my own eyes.

His black quartz-like skin made him almost invisible in the dim light of the attic, but I could still make out his small humanoid form. His rough, angular form was so familiar, even after all that time apart.

“Min,” I gasped, tears springing to my eyes.

I sprinted across the room, falling to my knees to embrace him. To my surprise, he wrapped his thin arms around me tightly.

“Stupid child,” he chided. “Why have you grown so large? You shouldn’t grow larger until you know what to do with the added height.”

I tried to laugh, but it all turned into sobs. “Where have you been?” I demanded. “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting.”

The hoak stood back, poking my forehead with his splinter-like finger. “Up the mountain, trying to keep chaos from breaking out.”

I flinched. “Is it bad?”

He laughed roughly. “Of course, it’s bad. But that’s not the problem at hand. You look terrible, Tiff. Why do you smell so awful?”

I looked down at myself. I was still wearing my gray dress, so I had to admit he was right about that. I held up the back of my hand to my nose, sniffing it closely. “I smell like soap,” I argued.

Min shook his head. “You smell like rotting bark. I’m not teasing you,” he insisted. “It’s choking me. Something is very wrong.”

I continued to search myself, wondering if something had gotten on my dress while I had been out of the house. After a moment, Min grabbed my hand and pulled the green pellet from my grip.

“What is this?” he hissed.

“Oh,” I dismissed, “Smitta Farlin gives them to me when I make him mad, as a punishment.”

Mineral rubbed the pellet between his fingers, studying it closely. His expression grew rigid with anger and he transformed the remaining bits of the pill into stone.

“Poison,” he spat.

My jaw dropped. “What?”

“You must never take those herbs again,” he warned. “It would be better to accept any other punishment than that.”

“How could it be poison,” I stammered. “I’ve been taking them for years, and I’m still alive.”

“Not poison to kill,” Min said. “Poison to keep from being alive.”

My mouth worked silently for a moment.

“I don’t understand,” I said finally.

He shook his fist in the air. “These herbs…they are like pruning a tree so aggressively that it is barely alive. You do not have magic, you do not have life force, you do not have leaves or fruit.”

I hadn’t considered how long it had been since the last time I’d tried to use magic. There hadn’t been any need for it living in my boring village life. How much longer would it have taken me to realize that I couldn’t even do it anymore?

“I need to take you to Budding,” he muttered to himself. “She can cleanse you.”

“Will I die?”

The hoak reached over and cupped my face between his hands. “No, little one,” he said gently. “You won’t die. Don’t be scared.”

I took a deep breath. Tears were welling up in my eyes again. “Did he know he was doing it?”

I knew the answer before I’d even asked.

Of course, he’d known. He probably thought he was doing the right thing by cutting me off from that part of myself. What I really wanted to know was if my mother had been aware of what he’d been doing to me. If she’d know how he’d been hurting me…

“I’m getting out of order,” Min told me. “I’ve come to get you. This is just another reason for you to come.”

I felt my heart leap in my chest. “I get to leave here?”

“Not permanently,” he amended, but he looked as if the thought made him upset. “However, Budding told me to come and find you. There’s trouble up the mountain.”

“Because of the soldiers?” I asked.

The hoak nodded. “The Followers of Purity have been stirring up trouble for a while now, using villagers as a way to pressure leaders into letting them use their soldiers. You saw before that things on the mountain were precarious even before this all began. Some of the tiernan wanted to start a fight long before the soldiers arrived.”

I clearly remembered learning about the different factions in conflict when we had gone to gather medicine for Aunt Ellie when I was younger. “Now the soldiers have given them an excuse to start the war,” I finished for him.

Min agreed. “Exactly.”

My brow contracted. “Why does Budding want me there? It doesn’t seem likely that she’d want me in the middle of a war zone.”

He smiled without humor. “You’re right in that. Unfortunately, there’s a special circumstance. Do you remember Wake?”

“Of course,” I exclaimed. How could I forget my water tiernan guide?

“You made a pact with Wake, promising that you would come when she needed help.”

I remembered that as well. “Yes.”

Min crossed his rough arms. “Well, she’s calling in that favor. We need to leave as soon as it gets dark.”