I survey our surroundings, looking over the large groups of infected that are huddled together. I take a deep breath, focusing on keeping my emotions in check as I look over the group. These people are still in a vulnerable place, so there are a lot of volatile emotions here. As the leader of Rhodes Island, I have to be able to smile, even if they can't. I catch sight of a few stray glances my way and I turn my smile their way.

 "Miss Amiya!" I turn to see Operator Hibiscus jogging up to me from behind. I see Ansel and Silence behind her now working on treating some of the injured. They must have just arrived recently from the landship. Perfect timing. I turn to face Hibiscus; she's only one of the medical interns, but she's a competent medical operator in her own right.

"Hibiscus. Is everything alright?" I ask. She doesn't seem panicked, but even a non-pressing issue could be something I need to address.

She nods her head. "Yes, everything is fine! Operators Ansel and Silence arrived moments ago from the landship. Silence brought some preliminary inspection equipment with her, but wanted me to ask you if we've processed everyone. A few of these patients need more extensive tests run back on the landship and Silence wanted me to start the boarding process for those patients if possible."

I nod, looking down at my tablet and checklist. "Preboard is almost complete. Fang is handling the last of it right now. You should be clear to start the boarding process for all the priority patients, but double check with Fang first."

She nods, turning to go find her squad captain. I look down at my checklist once more, double checking to make sure that there isn’t anything we’re missing. Thankfully, it seems that everything is mostly in order. I maneuver my way through the groups of people towards the southern lookout post. It’s been some time; I should check in with Kroos on whether or not the frontal force has reported back yet.

As I’m making my way through the groups of infected, I scan my eyes through the crowds. Most of the people keep to themselves, but a few thank me as I pass by. As I’m walking through the crowd, I spot Beagle with a group of kids of varying ages.

I pause my forward momentum as I see one of the kids get up from where he was sitting and yell at her. It’s too far for me to understand what he’s saying, but judging by Beagle’s body language it seems like a disagreement. I see a lot of heads turn to look at the group and some whispering amongst the bystanders. Turning towards the commotion, I jog closer to hopefully get a hold of the situation.

“--What does it even matter!” the boy shouts at her. He’s a Liberi like most of the infected here and appears to be around pre-teen age. Big enough to almost match Beagle in height, but still clearly just a kid. Beagle flinches, but she doesn’t step away. Now that I’m up close, I can see that tears are streaming down the boy’s face. Looking at Beagle, I find that she doesn’t look anxious or defensive, she looks sad.

“Beagle,” I say, calling attention to myself from everyone nearby, “is everything okay?”

“Well…” she starts, glancing nervously at the boy.

Before she can say much else, the boy butts in. “Of course not. Nothing’s okay!” He turns away bitterly, stomping off through some nearby bushes and away from everyone else.

“Ah, wai--” Beagle starts to move after him, but I put my hand on her shoulder.

Offering her a small smile, I shake my head gently. “It’s okay, Beagle. I’ll go talk to him. You keep looking after the kids here.”

“Ah, are you sure, Amiya?” Beagle asks, still looking nervous. With a confident nod of my head, I turn and follow after the disgruntled boy.

Pushing my way past a couple of bushes, I find the boy sitting on a rock a little while away. It’s not like there’s anywhere around here for him to have gone… but I’m still glad that he didn’t stray far. As I push my way into the clearing, he glances over his shoulder briefly before turning back the other way. I can feel how deep his sadness is, but I don’t need to be an empath to see that he’s struggling to hold back his tears. I step forward carefully, taking breaths to try and center myself before approaching whatever the issue may be.

“What do you want?” the boy asks after a moment, all but snarling at me.

“To help.” I kneel down near him. I offer the kindest smile I can to him, but he just scoffs once more.

“Why bother? We can’t be helped anyways. You’re just wasting your time on broken people like us.”

I frown, watching him carefully. He doesn’t bother turning to look at me though. He’s no longer crying and is now just gazing dispassionately into the middle distance. My heart pangs, his emotions calling out to me strongly. Gripping my skirt tightly, I try my best to reign in my own emotions at the situation. I hate seeing kids that look like this.

“Why do you think you’re broken?” I ask carefully, keeping my tone gentle.

“Isn’t it obvious?” He lifts his head up, turning to me. He raises his hand, showing me the back of it. Along the back of his hand are several small black crystals, the tell-tale sign of infection.

I reach up, placing a gentle touch on the back of his hand where the crystals are. I look him in the eyes as I push his hand down gently. “The sick are the ones who should be helped the most and it’s Rhodes Island's goal to help the infected wherever we can.”

“Why bother?” he asks again. “We can’t be helped. Why not just leave us alone like the Inquisition does…” Frowning, I sigh gently. So that’s what this is about…

I’m not a part of the forward team, so I don’t have all of the specifics, but I’ve pieced together a picture of what happened to all of the people here. These are all people that have lost their home. It seems that infection settled into this Iberian town slowly over the course of several years. The inquisition hadn’t shown up the last couple years, so they had to survive on their own. The final straw that had crumbled the fragile normalcy they’d sunken into was a fire. It quickly grew to an unmanageable size before they were aware of it; they had no choice but to flee their hometown. When they made it to the next town over, they were stopped by a band of Inquisitors.

Supposedly, the Inquisition couldn’t overlook such a large group of infected trying to put down roots somewhere else. Having nowhere else to go, they were given some very sparse supplies before being turned away. Thankfully, Lumen was able to get in touch with a group of Operators who happened to be fulfilling a stationary security service contract nearby.

“I don’t agree with many of the Inquisition's decisions, but I think that the Inquisition just doesn’t know how to help you. I haven’t been around Iberia myself, but I’ve heard about it from some of the other operators at Rhodes.”

He doesn’t look at me, ducking his head to the side. “If they really cared, they wouldn’t have kicked us out...”

Frowning, I can understand the sentiment. How could they do that to their own people? Regardless, I find my mind on one Inquisitor in particular. “You know… it was an Inquisitor that told us where to find you all.” That gets his attention, causing him to look at me. “Even if I don’t agree with how they handled it, I’m proud that Rhodes is able to reliably help people. Especially when their countries can’t,” I say, leaving the end of that thought to myself. Especially when their countries can’t or won’t.

He doesn’t say anything for a long while, his tears having dried against his cheeks and his sobbing having stopped entirely. I can still feel his emotions tossing and turning inside him, but the feeling starts to grow faint as they grow less and less intense.

I remain kneeling nearby, looking out over the rocky plains. After a couple long moments of silence, I hear the boy gasp and turn to look at him. “Miss… your hand…” His tone is quiet, scared. Keeping my smile, I raise it up for him to see. “You're infected too…?” His tone is mystified; the thought had probably never occurred to him.

Pulling my sleeve down, I nod. “I am. Most of the operators and passengers on the landship are infected. We help the infected from all over.”

He’s quiet, his eyes fixated on the crystals growing from my hand. I wait patiently, not putting my hand away for a few seconds before slowly letting my sleeve drop. The action snaps him out of his daze for a moment. He looks up to me, his eyes purposefully meeting mine for the first time. He still seems puzzled, still trying to put together some of the pieces I’ve handed him. After a few moments, he seems to have figured out what he wants to ask, turning away from me to look at the middle distance once more.

“Miss… do you ever think about death?” he asks gently. The gentle and inquisitive tone of a child, but a question that you don’t want to hear a child ask.

I measure my words, realizing that this situation hasn’t quite settled down yet. His emotions aren’t strong enough to be crying out to me anymore, which is a bit of a relief, but a conversation like this can always turn emotional quickly.

I think about the question, mulling over how best to answer. I try to think about death as little as I can, which is still entirely too often. In my time working at Rhodes Island, I’ve witnessed a lot of death. I’ve felt responsible for some of it. I’ve felt responsible for a lot of it actually. “How do you mean?”

He lifts his hand up, the one with the Originium on the back of it, and he looks at it. “This. It’s gonna kill us, right? That’s why everyone’s so scared of us?” My heart sinks once more. This kid can’t be older than twelve… I’ve known too many kids around his age that are all too aware of their own mortality.

…I’m not that much older than him.

Even now I don’t know how to deal with my own mortality… It’s hard to forget it, but I try not to think about it too much. The problem with being an empath is that it’s much easier to think about everyone else, rather than myself.

I know deep down that this disease is killing me, but working at Rhodes allows me to push it away. Every day I push it a little farther away. I go to my health exams, take my medicine, and I do my part in searching for a cure. In some sense, it’s my hope that keeps me from thinking about it too much. I have hope that we’ll find a cure. I’m confident.

But when it’s others… I can’t ignore their suffering. Some operators’ Oripathy is way worse than mine. Some of the people we come across, their suffering is far more, their symptoms more severe. Occasionally… the foes we face are more fearsome than we expected. We’ve lost many Operators, friends, and family to Catastrophes, bad actors… to Oripathy.

“I do, yeah.” I know that it could happen to me. Every time I use my Arts a little too much, I feel it. But I know that I can’t let it get me down. There are people counting on me. The other operators look up to me and trust that I can eventually make things better. I look back over at him confidently. “But there are still things that I can do. Rhodes Island is working hard to build a bright future for the infected and there are people counting on me. It’s never a waste of time to help people.”

The boy is quiet now, not saying a word. I lean back, allowing him to think for a lil longer. “Rhodes will find a cure for Oripathy. Now that you’re on the landship, you’ll be sure to hear when we do,” I add.

“I… I guess,” he finally says. His expression isn’t as angry now, sadness still lingering on his face.

The rustling of the bushes from behind us draws my attention. Beagle steps into view, glancing nervously between me and the boy. “Amiya, the Doctor is approaching with the rest of the forward team.”

I nod, looking back to the boy. “I have to go; are you gonna be alright with Miss Beagle?”

He turns away from us. “Whatever.”

“Please don’t give her too much trouble, Beagle is very nice and she works very hard.” I smile at him before turning to Beagle.

“M-miss Amiya…!” she exclaims, looking even more nervous than she was before. “Um, thank you!”

I nod, giving her a gentle smile before jogging through the brush once more to make my way towards the southern lookout post once more. The Doctor should be arriving soon and I should be there for them when they do.

“--What does it even matter, right?” I hear shouting as I come to, and I’m reminded of the words of a small Liberi boy as I get my bearings about me. I feel strange as I take in my surroundings, suddenly remembering that I haven’t always been Amiya.

The memories have been coming frequently enough that coming out of them feels like being splashed with a glass of reality out of nowhere. Looking around the room, I find that I’m laid out on the bed in Kay’s cabin.

“That’s not what I mean, Kay.” I can barely hear Kal’tsit sighing from the other room, but it sounds like they’re deep in an argument.

“What do you mean, then? We almost died! Does that really not matter to you at all?” Pushing myself off of the bed, I tiptoe towards the door. I pause next to it, listening closely for a moment while they talk. I can feel Kay’s emotions spiking, anger falling off of her in waves.

“Of course it does! I tried to make it as safe as I could. I didn’t think that Mon3tr would use that attack on a couple of Originium bears,” she explains. Her tone is as even as always and at this point I can picture her expression.

There’s a pause in the conversation and I can only imagine the looks that they’re sharing. “So you knew that your pet could do that.”

“I’ve told you, Mon3tr isn’t my pet.”

“Right, of course. Mon3tr spelled with a three, right? So it’s some freaky invention or something. Still pretty much a pet. And let me remind you that your pet nearly killed us!” Kay says mockingly.

Kal’tsit sighs again, loudly. “Kal’tsit didn’t make Mon3tr, and it’s not alive in a conventional sense. To be honest, I’m still not too sure about what exactly Mon3tr is.”

“You better start making sense fast, because you’re really testing my patience right now…” Kay’s voice is dark and I startle a bit at how angry her voice sounds. I’ve never heard her so upset. I open the door, stepping into the living room and into their conversation. Kay’s expression almost instantly changes upon seeing me, the anger fading quickly to be replaced with concern. I can feel that the anger hasn’t fully dissipated, but it is slightly less now that I’m here. “Amiya! Are you okay?”

I nod once, turning to look at Kal’tsit. She doesn’t look at me, her head slightly tilted away. Turning back to Kay, I catch her staring daggers at Kal’tsit. “I’m fine. Not a scratch on me. That… creature?”

Kal’tsit’s ears flick towards me, but her head doesn’t move. “Mon3tr. M-O-N-3-T-R.” She pronounces it just like the word monster.

“Right, Mon3tr… Even if it was really scary, it kept me safe and carried me out, so… everything’s okay.” My attempt to calm Kay down doesn’t work as her anger comes back, but she directs it towards our friend once more.

“We wouldn’t have been in danger if it weren’t for that thing in the first place!” Kay gestures at Kal’tsit and for the first time, I notice a compact, hovering, octahedral crystal that looks exactly like Mon3tr did. Just… much more compact.

“But--” I start to say something, wanting to defend Kal’tsit, but she cuts me off.

“No, Kay is right. I didn’t mean to, but I did put you both in danger.” She sighs, standing up from the couch. “I was too worried about the potential danger Mon3tr posed without Kal’tsit there to keep him in check that I didn’t consider my own inability to properly control him. Even if I look like her… I’m not Kal’tsit. Even Mon3tr can see as much.”

Shaking my head, I step closer to her. “It’s okay, these things happen. What matters is that we’re okay.”

Kay puts a hand on my shoulder, drawing my attention back to her. “We almost died, ‘Miya. That’s not okay! Our lives aren’t expendable just because of this fucking disease!”

“Of course not, Kay. But you know that she doesn’t think that either. It’s been tough for all of us, there’s a lot to think about.”

She backs away, clutching her fists. “I thought we just weren’t talking about it because it fucking sucks, but have you already forgotten that we’ve already contracted a deadly disease? Have I really been the only one thinking about our imminent death and how much it sucks, this whole time?”

I pause, looking down at my arm. The words of a child come back to me: ‘Do you ever think about death?’

The Amiya of another world had been able to answer that question confidently. I have yet to remember any of the worse things that she’s experienced, but in that memory I got a taste for what kind of memories they were. Heavy memories. The kind that leave permanent scars on the soul. Even now, as myself and entirely unable to remember what caused those emotions, the weight of them sticks with me. What kind of hardships did Amiya have to experience?

The Amiya of another world was a leader. Even now, I can tell that Kal’tsit, my Kal’tsit, has hopes for me. Amiya was a leader before and in all of her memories, there’s something in the looks that she gets from the other Operators at Rhodes Island that shows it. Even as young as she was, how did she handle it?

Compared to her… well, I have been avoiding thinking about my own mortality. Between my new physical features and my new abilities I’ve had plenty to keep me distracted. Every day since I started changing has felt unreal. I was a normal guy going to nursing school a couple days ago, and now I’m… Amiya. A bunny girl with a terrifying new disease that could kill me someday and strange powers called Arts that could probably do the same.

But… it's not a bad change. Despite everything, strangely I feel better. I feel more whole than I was, like I have been missing something my whole life and I get it back with every memory. Whatever Amiya had that made her a good leader… eventually, I'll have it too.

Kal’tsit speaks after a couple moments of tense silence. “Of course I’ve been thinking about it. I haven’t forgotten. But we have time. There are things we can do to prevent that from happening at all.”

Amiya’s words come back to me as I listen to Kal’tsit. There are still things that I can do.

“Kal’tsit’s right, Kay.” I step between the two, pulling her attention to me. I can feel her anger ebbing, giving way to some fear and sadness. Giving her a gentle smile, I don’t bother trying to sort out whose emotions are whose. I’m sure that some of that fear is my own, but I can’t let it get me down. “This is a tough situation, but… we’re not exactly helpless anymore either. I have my Arts, and if we get you something to wield it, you’ll have yours too. That huge hammer you carried into the cave, you wouldn’t have been able to carry something like that around before you changed, right?” Glancing over at the floating crystal that I know to be Mon3tr, I gesture to it. “Even Kal’tsit has Mon3tr now.”

At the mention of Mon3tr, Kal’tsit strokes his crystal gently, nodding in agreement. “Not to mention the years of memories that we’re slowly experiencing.”

Kay turns away, folding her arms. “That doesn’t mean we should be throwing ourselves into danger whenever…”

“I agree,” Kal’tsit says, sighing deeply. “I’m sorry for putting you two in danger in the cave. Thankfully… we shouldn’t have to do anything like that any time soon. The cave collapsed behind us, so it is, for all intents and purposes, dealt with.”

Kay scoffs, turning around and striding away from the conversation. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.”

The bedroom door closes behind her and I let out a sigh, running a hand through my hair as I feel my emotions finally leveling out. With all of the heavy emotions gone from the air, I just feel tired.

I perk up as Kal’tsit speaks up from behind me. “You don’t have to worry about Kay.” She walks up beside me and I look over to her. Unfortunately, her face still doesn’t betray much emotion. “She’s probably still mad at me, but she has every right to be.”

Frowning, I glance back at the door. “I hope she isn’t too upset…” Turning to the couch, I fall back onto it. I look down at the floor; my eyes drift to Mon3tr’s new compact form floating above the ground beside Kal’tsit. It only now occurs to me how incredible it is that it’s doing that.

Kal’tsit sits down next to me, folding her arms and crossing her legs. It’s distinctly feminine body language and I realize how different her body language has been ever since she started turning into Kal’tsit. I look at my own knees clamped close together and I realize that mine must be the same.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asks after a moment, looking down at me.

“I’m just thinking about Amiya.”

“Oh?” I watch her face, but it doesn’t shift at all. Unreadable as always.

“I’m not sure how much of me is Amiya and how much is… me. I’d say Anthony, but even my old name doesn’t feel right anymore. Could that be identity death? Or is it just… identity stuff I’ve never had to think about? Being called Amiya feels right. It feels familiar. But I can also still tell that I’m not exactly her.” Shaking my head, I look down at the rings on my fingers. “Will I eventually be her?”

She’s quiet after I finish and I turn to look at her. Her eyes are watching me, calculating, but I can tell that there’s a gentle concern hidden in them. “Do you want to be her?” She shifts, turning back to stare at Mon3tr. “You have two sets of memories right now. Two lives from two different worlds. One life that has defined you for a long time, and one that is only now impressing itself upon you. Regardless of what you look like… nothing has been taken away from you. You’ve been changed and you have new experiences and memories to grapple with… but it’s entirely up to you how these new memories define you going forward.”

She leans back, sighing deeply. “For me… There is far more to Kal’tsit than there is to who I was. She lived for over ten thousand years and she’s had more experiences than I could imagine. When I sleep, I feel like I’ve returned after a week in her life. Eventually, I’ll be more Kal’tsit than I ever was Jack Talley. But… I’ll still be me. That’s why I told you to call me Kal’tsit. That’s who I choose to be.” I nod, smiling slightly. When it’s put like that…

“I want to make a new Rhodes Island,” I say, finally feeling confident in myself. She turns to look at me, her expression finally shifting to surprise. “Before all this, I was already training to be a nurse so that I could help people. I still don’t know too much about Rhodes Island, but I know that Amiya worked very hard to make things better for everyone. I want to help people and I know that Amiya would want me to keep working towards a cure. But I know that we can’t do it all alone, we’ll need more people to help us figure this out. So I’ll be Amiya. I’ll be the leader that Rhodes needs me to be, even if I’m not entirely sure that I can be that yet…” I lean back, sighing. “I guess I’ve got time, though; it’s not like there are any other infected around at the moment.”

Kal’tsit’s smile reassures me as she hums gently. “I think you’re closer than you think. Besides, it probably isn’t too long before other cases start popping up. There was a sample at your school and it’s very likely that this isn’t the only Originium vein in the world.”

I frown at the mention of the sample at my school. My thoughts turn towards Debbie. So much has happened that I nearly forgot about her. Is she okay?

She gets up, her smile turning sly as she turns to me. “Thankfully, I already have a head start on your plan.”

Pulled out of my thoughts, I turn my attention back to Kal’tsit. “What do you mean?” I ask, leaning forward. She pulls out her phone, tapping on it a couple times before flipping the screen around for me to see. “This is… a copyright? Wait, for Rhodes Island Pharmaceuticals Incorporated?”

“Trademark, actually,” She chuckles, pulling her phone back. “I’ve already been in the process of making a pharmaceuticals company, and it just so happened that a certain name was available. So I already have it trademarked under my name. Congratulations Amiya, you’re the leader of Rhodes Island.”

“But… it’s your company,” I point out.

She shakes her head. “Only in name. I’ll be in charge of all the actual medical work until we get some other doctors, but I’ll figure out the paperwork so that you’re the acting leader of Rhodes Island.”

“Wow, uh, are you sure?” I stand up, suddenly feeling antsy from sitting down. I didn’t think it would feel real so quickly; I thought I would have more time to step into the position.

She nods, still smiling at me. “Positive.”