Today was a bad day.
I don't have many bad days as there are not many things that can mess up my day.
I'm just your average teenage kid living in your average town with only a couple of people I can call friends. I'm not a popular kid that has everyone flocking to him. I'm not the random jock that bullies someone random loser. I'm just the middle. I'm so normal that you could just imagine a random white kid name and it would probably be my name.
So for a bad day to happen to me is very rare.
There are many reasons for a bad day to happen. Whether it is waking up just to find out you overslept and are late for school or the fact that you forget your phone at home while in a rush to school or maybe the fact that you get hit by a car while running to school.
For me, it was all of the above.
The feeling of a speeding vehicle moving 40 miles per hour and hitting your side is not at all a good feeling. The sound of bones cracking and the feeling of my flesh squishing was NOT a good feeling at all.
I looked as the car that hit me drove away into the distance without caring about someone hitting it. The normal reaction is to be mad but I don't even feel anything. It is like I was sedated or something. Probably because of Adrenaline.
Red and blue lights hit my retinas and I had to close them due to how bright they were. My ears were still ringing after the hit and It's getting worse due to the sirens of the car.
I could briefly hear shouting as medics surrounded me, looking at me, inspecting me. They had a look of disgust.
Why? What was wrong? They looked worried and kept speaking to each other in hushed tones but I could hear one of them talk.
" It's too late." My heart dropped as a looked down on my body. My body was completely mangled as my left arm was broken and completely inverted while my legs look even worse as I could see bones protruding out of them. They were also bloody, VERY bloody.
I then realized what was happening to me. I was dying.
I could feel my body shutting down as I bled too much and my body couldn't function any longer.
I imagined my family's reaction to my death and how grief-stricken they will be without me.
At least I died peacefully.
Then I went into the realm of unconsciousness.
Author's Note:
So how did you feel about the first chapter? Was it good or was it boring? Was it too short or long? Were there any mistakes? Don't be afraid to comment about it and I appreciate any and all criticism.
I will try to keep my word count around 500 at the least and the highest being 1000 for consistency.
I'll say it's pretty good, reader get a short but enough info on mc. The chap is a tad short (maybe, possibly ) but i'd argue that it make the reader don't get bored from reading long one (sone people like long one too and its fine).
Anywho TFTC, can't wait for the next chap. (Also you're arent the only ben 10 ff on here but the others before you either stop posting or hasn't update a new chap)
Thanks for the feedback and i made it short on purpose since I didn't want to make the backstory too complicated
@JustARandomGuy1 In that case it’s fine, a short prologue is perfectly fine in fact it’s usually better, now I only caught this fic three chapters in so I don’t know how you handled it but i’ll Give this advice anyway for your next story. If you do a short prologue chapter then wait to post it until you finish writing chapter one and release them at the same time, it’s the beauty of a prologue you don’t have to update it based on a schedule since you haven’t released the story yet.
@Forsaken0ne I'll keep that in mind next time
👍
Thanks for the story.
I have some suggestions. Make MC a new character and let him do his business. Like 50/50, 50 in different events in different locations (OC) and the other 50 is the event with Ben. And bio Omnitrix aka living Omnitrix.
That is an interesting concept to think about. Thanks for the comment
@JustARandomGuy1 That's one way to do it, and I certainly won't tell you to follow the plot exactly how it is, however I prefer to go with a more organic transition from canon to original content, specifically starting off following the canon story for various reasons from the character's perspective but in reality because at the start there's not enough time or ability to change the plot massively at first, though that can depend on when exactly or where the character takes charge but it's still mostly the case, and over time slowly or not so slowly at certain points diverge from the canon story as the character makes different decisions and takes certain actions. A perfect 50/50 split can be very unrealistic and rigid compared to taking a more organic approach.
@Forsaken0ne I was thinking of the si becoming ben and following the plot but the plot differs due to the changes the si makes and just changes I make to the timeline.