‘What is it like being a mother,’ she asked Zsa Zsa, once, the pie-bald deer witch-god. They had been playing cards after Novem had made his departure, tail between his legs. The silly little thing had wagered an eye against his father Noctua and of course Noctua had won. He was the dream thief after all, the parasitic god of dreams, and there was no better cheat than that in a card game.
Several gods had departed after, unwilling to play to such stakes, as well as Noctua, to claim his spoils, and the only ones left were she, Zsa Zsa, Veris and Tva. Just the old gods now. Zsa Zsa had paused, head tilted, considering, before signing her response, the hands where her ears should have been a flurry of motion. ‘I don’t have demi-children,’ she replied to Csialeide’s question, ‘but my followers call me witch-mother, and I love them for it, vicious things that they are. My children are many and give me much flesh. Delicious flesh. The little darlings.’ She licked her fanged mouth, at odds with her soft doe eyes. ‘Motherhood is many blessings.’
Veris had butted in then, though Csialeide was hesitant to take the advice of the half-crazed demon-god of chaos. She would not wish the motherhood of Veris on anyone. ‘I was many once, an entire pack of my most precious hosts. Hyenas,’ she said, as if anyone couldn’t have guessed given her form, despite the massive rack of antlers on her head, bedecked with thorny poisonous flowers and her ever watchful flock of eyes, pointing every which direction. ‘We drank the god-blood and then we were one and we were all. We were our pups and our mothers and our grandmothers all at once. Perfect. And then they all left me and I was alone. Just one. Death takes all, even the endless. Motherhood is pain and loss.’
‘But your pack was mortal, they just didn’t survive the transformation. They weren’t the endless. Surely demi-children are more resilient.’ Tva inquired. Tva was the youngest among them, though still older than humanity, and had never made a demi-god child. Veris scowled at him, lips pulled back from thick teeth in her wide wide mouth, as she took a long swig from the dream-wine Noctua had left behind, its porcelain mask casing indicating it to be the dreams of a young dove and and a night-blooming jasmine. ‘You’ve never been a mother, rabbit-god.’ She snarled, wine dripping from her mouth. Tva shook his head, ‘but I take acolytes. Rabbits that have given up their skin to take the form of mine and watch over the warrens are my children.’ Zsa Zsa cackled, signing laughter silently with her pointer finger to her face and her thumbs towards her ears making her eerily large grin appear even wider, ‘and how well does that work for you? Don’t your wolf acolytes eventually turn feral and eat your worshipers?’ Tva put his cards face down, tossing the tower card to land in front of her. Zsa Zsa signed him a very rude gesture. There was a reason gods didn’t gather frequently, too many large personalities were prone to butting heads.
And then there were three. They switched to tapp tarock.
‘You’re thinking of becoming a mother, then Csia?’ Zsa Zsa prompted. ‘What brought this on? You’ve always been content alone before, you don’t even have worshipers.’ Csialeide hummed, discontent with the too familiar nickname, the sound resonating her giant snail shell, vibrating the entire glade and all the beings gathered there. ‘I…find myself looking for…a respite from the monotony.’ Veris snorted. ‘There are other ways to find fun. Look at Noctua, he brews dream wine, and a fine thing it is.’ She took another swig. Lightweight, Csialeide was careful not to think too loudly. Her shell had the sometimes unfortunate ability to amplify her thoughts if she thought them too strongly. Probably a contributor to her isolationist lifestyle. Relationships were hard to manage with not enough privacy.
‘Would you take followers, acolytes, or birth a demi-child?’ Zsa Zsa interrogated, always interested in gossip. ‘Companionship is what I wish for,’ Csialeide murmured, the sound coming out as a rumble, echoing in the minds of those gathered rather than in their ears. Zsa Zsa prodded, ‘so acolytes or a demi, which are you leaning?’ Csialeide slowly turned the question over in her mind, she had brought this topic up on a whim, she hadn’t committed to the idea and was hesitant for Zsa Zsa to hurry her into one or the other. ‘I wish for full equality, a balanced relationship, to form a full god. To give true birth.’ Veris and Zsa Zsa shared a look. ‘They could turn on you.’ Veris finally said, a beat after Csaileide’s announcement. ‘It is dangerous’ Zsa Zsa agreed. ‘Look at Novem and Noctua, he birthed the child now known as god-eater. Not many desire to be transformed. Only the power that goes with it. They often hold a grudge.’ Csialeide placed her cards down carefully, their surfaces oozing with her slime. ‘Nevertheless. It is what I will.’
