CHAPTER VI – Road to hell
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My sleep is suddenly interrupted. "Wake up Novice, get up." A familiar voice says. My eyes open, but I'm still not quite awake. An animal is staring down at me - I recognize this wolf. I groggily oblige, putting on all my equipment in a highly practiced fashion.

"Come with me." He orders me, as he leaves. Naturally, I follow. I feel like I'm sleepwalking; I have slept maybe an hour, two - perhaps three, but certainly no longer than that. "What is this about, Lieutenant Wolf?" I ask, confused, yawning. I figure I'm either in some sort of trouble, or I have some explaining to do; one way or another, no good, but I'm so drowsy the precariousness of the situation doesn't fully hit me.

I must have fallen asleep and kept walking, as I realize we're almost on the other side of the redoubt's underground corridors in seemingly no time at all. I notice an unlit torch in Lieutenant's hand, but why? Stairs to topside are the other way. We stop at a metal door.
Ah. I rarely pass by here, that's why I never seem to have noticed. But since I remembered and the Lieutenant is here, "Lieutenant Wolf, I've been meaning to ask for a while now, what's behind this door?" I finally ask him.

"You will see." He dodges the question as he unlocks it with a loud, clacking noise and lights the torch off a sconce nearby. "Get in." He says as he holds it open. I enter. I see almost nothing in nearly pitch-black darkness, only a narrow stairwell down - perhaps one and a half man wide. Lieutenant Wolf locks the door behind us, again with loud clacking, "Move, watch your step." he warns, slightly pushing me off to the side and slinking past onward.

Slightly relieved that I don't seem to be in trouble, I keep close to the Lieutenant, making good use of the precious light in this dark place. One foot in front of the other, carefully, making sure to not trip up. To make matters worse, the stairwell also turns. Wherever we're going, it must be pretty deep in.
We arrive at another metal door, however, Lieutenant Wolf pushes this one open easily. It seems there was no need to lock this one. He disappears behind a corner, and I follow him in. I see a familiar face.

"...Captain Bear?" I ask, but this question is pointless - of course it's him. Who else here is of this massive stature and silently roars at you? He nods in acknowledgement of my presence, "Welcome Novice!" he greets me in the jolly tone I remember from our first meeting. I've seen him maybe three, four times since our introduction? Yet, he left a lasting impression, and he's exactly as I remember him. Lieutenant Wolf assumes his usual pose at his side.

It's only then when I realize where I am - a dungeon. I wake up. For some stupid reason, I was convinced I'm not in trouble, but now I'm almost certain I am. I notice one of the cells is left wide open, and a prisoner cuffed to the cobblestone wall is staring at us pensively in silence. "I bet you're wondering why you're here, aren't you, Novice Goat?" the Captain asks suddenly.

Almost like a reflex, I nod. "Captain, what exactly is this? Am I in trouble?" I ask, desperately hoping to clear up the situation. He chuckles loudly while shaking his hand and head, "Ha ha ha, no no no no- that's not the case at all Novice. In fact, Lieutenant Wolf was informing me on your progress." He says as he points out the Lieutenant with an open palm.
"Hawk really does have an eye for real gems. I have been nothing short of impressed. I have heard good things from Lieutenant Cat as well." he continues as he nods in approval. "Even Sergeant Boar - you may not know this, but he took a liking to you. 'Not my best, but fiercest and hard-working yet', he said."
"Captain, then why am I here? I don't understand." I ask again, only even more confused. Suddenly, the Lieutenant chimes in, "Captain, may I?" to which the huge bear-masked man, with an energetic nod answers only with, "Of course!"

"Novice Goat, to make long story short - this is the final part of your exam." he states matter-of-factly. "Exam? But didn't I pass with the rest?" Confusion keeps growing and growing instead of disappearing.
"Correct, Novice. You passed the topside exam. The higher ranks informally call it the daylight exam." He continues, "But now it's time for the essential part." the wolf and the bear exchange glances as he finishes his sentence. Captain Bear continues for him,
"You're going to demonstrate what you've learned so far on a live target." he bluntly declares. I shake my head in befuddlement, "Captain?"
He spreads his arms out, almost as if to hark back to the first time I met him, "Come on now, I have to spell it out for you?" he points at the prisoner in the cell and says, "You're going to kill him."

Huh? I glance at the prisoner and the Captain back and forth. Apparently, as soon as the prisoner hears Captain Bear say this, he animates suddenly and starts shouting,
"That wasn't the fucking deal you bastard!" his screams jumps of the walls as he keeps screaming and rattling his chains, "You fucking said if I talk, you're going to hand me to the guards you fucking- piece of shit- motherfucker!"
The prisoner stops screaming for a moment to catch his breath, I use this opportunity to simply point out, "...But he's a prisoner?" as I point to the chained man.

"Yes." Captain Bear nods. I glance at the prisoner then back at Captain Bear again in disbelief. "I'm supposed to kill a man who can't fight back, already a prisoner?" I ask the Captain. Immediately, he lowers his head.
"Novice Goat..." he mutters under his breath, his joyful tone absent, his voice turned into something resembling a rumbling landslide, "What did you think this place was? A friendship camp?" alarmingly, he takes a step towards me.
"Are you here to make friends, Novice Goat? To have fun and a good time?" he asks, leaning down a bit to my head level. I can see his barely-lit brown eyes piercing mine. I'm definitely sweating. And then there's the worst part:

I'm not quite sure how to answer. Anything I can think of, in my head, seems to lead the conversation into a path I don't want it to take. 'No I'm not', 'Then why are you not taking this seriously?'; 'Not exactly', 'So we're here for your entertainment?' - I'm actually worried what the Captain will think if he finds about out my friendship with Owl. "Well?" he presses for an answer.
I go with the flow, trying to form a best answer, but Captain Bear's immense presence makes it impossible to say any of my words confidently, my heart beats rapidly, "I- I didn't expect to have to kill someone during training, sir-" Captain Bear cuts me off before I can finish my thought, "Sir? I thought I told you something about that." he says, as he straightens out, looking down at me.
What does he mean? Then I remember-

"...Respect is best shown through actions?" I ask, glad that I word-for-word remember Captain Bear's quote. "There was a second part. Wasn't there, Novice Goat?" He says, his voice still as a rumble, as he continues staring me down.
It's true. There is a second part to his quote. In fact, I remembered it the second he ordered me to kill the imprisoned man. We have, indeed, been trained how to kill, this is what I was told at the very start, no mistake about it. The recruiter told me, Lieutenant Wolf told me...
Captain Bear told me. Nobody lied to me about anything here. Not the recruiter, not the Lieutenant, not the Captain. How stupid of me. 'The exam is concluded for today', 'you are free for the rest of the day', even just yesterday, during the topside exam, Lieutenant Wolf didn't lie even once, to me, or anyone.

I simply wrongly assumed that advancing in rank meant anything conclusive. It's so obvious, now that I give it some thought. My skills are obviously there, there's no reason for me to be called a recruit anymore...

But that doesn't mean the exam is over. I take a few steps towards the prisoner's cell. "Good. Seems like you remember." Captain says, his voice once again full of sunshine and cheer. The prisoner gets increasingly agitated as he sees me walk up to his door.
"Don't you fucking dare. This wasn't the fucking deal, you hear? I told you motherfuckers everything, everything! Don't you fucking dare." he shouts out defiantly, but he is visibly nervous, almost verging on panic.

"Novice Goat, something you need to know before you continue." Lieutenant Wolf announces from behind me. "Mmm. That's right." Captain Bear chimes in, too.
"Once you enter his cell, you can not leave until the prisoner is dead. Understood?" Lieutenant asks, and continues "No matter what he says, no matter what we say; once you enter, you will only leave once he is without a doubt, dead. Otherwise, you fail the exam."
I nod in acknowledgement as I turn away from the Lieutenant back towards the cell. I understand what he is saying, but can I really do this? Should I do this? With every sentence either the Lieutenant or Captain says, the prisoner only gets angrier and more despondent.

"No you are fucking dead, you are, motherfuckers! We have a shitton of guys- like a bunch of fuckin' sodomites you came at night, why? 'cause you're fuckin' afraid you fuckin' cartloads of fucking shit!" he screams his entire lungs out, inhales another lungful, only to scream out another one, "You think you're fucking tough 'cause you slit bunch o' my boys' fucking throats while they were sleeping? You sons of a fuckin' whore dog, if ye'd try fighting us you know you'd be fuckin' bloated worm food!"

Normally, someone shouting at me like that would already lose most of his teeth a while ago. But this man - he's simply desperately trying to give himself some bravery and regain control of a situation, where he has none. Normally, I'd teach him a lesson.
But I wouldn't kill him. What lesson would he learn, if I did? 'Don't mess with wrong people' is the the moral of this story. But what good is this moral if he's going to take it a short stroll away, into a grave? I'm considering backing out- but then I remember, there is no backing out. If I back out now, I won't finish the exam. If I won't finish the exam, I'll never be allowed out. The prisoner's continued yelling is greatly disturbing the weighing of my options.

"We have a shitton of guys. You kill me, and then what? You're going to just kill the rest of them all, just like that? You'll wait until they all sleep? Good fucking luck! If you had the guts to unchain me and deal with me like men do, I'd fuck your eyesocket, 'captain' fuckin' assfucker!" The prisoner keeps shouting, spitting as he yells.
I realize-- no, I already knew - I have no options. I step into the cell, drawing my dagger. "Good luck." I can hear Lieutenant Wolf say, as I pass the threshold between the outside and the inside. I stepped in, there is no way out now - other than the open wide cell door. The moment I step in, the prisoner's show of bravery collapses.

"Stay the fuck away from me you demon worshipper!" he instantly fully stands up, trying to use his chained hands to best to his ability to shield himself from me, poorly. I haven't made a single step towards him yet since I entered his cell. Indeed, if he had a weapon and was free, I'd most likely not hesitate as much; a simple matter of me, or him.
Thinking about a little, it already is a matter of me or him. With this rationalization being sufficient, I take a step forward--

The prisoner retreats into the corner of the cell furthest away from me, and hugs it snugly with his back. Coincidentally, it's also the only corner he can really move into. "No! I don't want to die!" He screams out suddenly, I stop after a single step. There goes my will to kill the man. I look behind my back, hoping that either the Lieutenant or the Captain say something, but they both simply stare at me quietly, hands behind their backs, their masks not moving even a bit as they observe.

I look back at the prisoner, trying to figure out what to do next. He's a pitiful sight, hugging the corner as much as he can, trying to use his hands for protection - but the chains are too short to really allow him to. He stares at my dagger, not blinking for even a moment, as if to not let it out of sight at any cost, and rattling the chains quietly with how much he's trembling from obvious fear.
This is difficult. It's no different from murder-- no, it is murder. An executioner can always say, 'this is the court's verdict, it's not my decision' - and he's free of responsibility. Who is he? What did he do? Does he really deserve this? I turn back again, "Is this really necessary? What did he even do? Is he a criminal?"

But both the Lieutenant and the Captain are quiet. Their faces completely unmoving. However, the prisoner suddenly starts talking, "I did nothing! You don't want to do this, I'm just a small-time thief. I did everything they asked! I told them everything! I told them where are our hideouts, where we stash the wares, how many of us there are, that was the deal! He told me if I say everything they'll just hand me over to the city guards!" he pleads with me as he points at Captain Bear with his head, who doesn't react.

"Please sir, I beg you, please show mercy. You're a human aren't you? Please, I don't want to die. I'm afraid. Have some mercy, sir." he desperately continues pleading. It's difficult. It's extremely difficult. I can tell he's genuinely on verge of tears from fear.
But can I really stop here? Did I really train this whole time, only to give up here? He mentioned others getting their throats slit at night - will I really be able to do something like that, if I'm not able to kill him right here? It's difficult, and the man is desperate. But I am getting desperate as well. I haven't come this far to simply give up and stop at the very end.

I take another step, perhaps unsurprisingly, the man shouts out another string of pleas mixed with terror, "Nnnnnooo! Please! Please sir, I have children, please I beg you sir, think of my children sir!" he shouts out as he kicks his legs out at nothing in particular. I stop once again, I feel like I resolved myself to kill the man after all, but what about his children? Can I be the reason they never see him again? Am I--

"Please sir, you don't have to do this. I beg you. Just stop." The man says dejectedly as he slumps down, sobbing. It's hard not to pity him. Who did he steal from to deserve this? Just how much? He clearly isn't the only one, so why is the blame placed on him so heavily?
Regardless, I have no choice. I have to do what I have to do. All I can do for him is to not cause him unnecessary pain; I already terrified him needlessly, something I'll probably regret later tonight. I walk up within the range of my weapon and cock my arm back, trying to visualize mortal blow spots on his body, as it's shrunken in the corner. When he witnesses me do this, he inhales sharply and shakily and looks me in the eyes.

I have pity, but I can't have mercy. I decide to strike his heart, the bloodloss should make him lose consciousness before he can suffer much. No different from hunting deer, just without a bow. I get ready to stab--

"He's right. You don't have to do this. Come out." Lieutenant Wolf calls out suddenly. My mouth opens by itself from surprise, I'm left completely speechless. I take a glance over my shoulder, in utter disbelief that it was really the Lieutenant that said this. I look back to the prisoner, he's in similar state of disbelief, as well gleeful.
I feel like laughing. I've been made into an absolute fool. I'm glad my face is hiding my real expression, I must be grinning like an idiot. I rest my hands on my knees as I bend down to catch a few breaths. I really can't believe the Captain and the Lieutenant kept the act up this long. I almost feel furious, but gratitude that they finally gave up replaces the anger.

I look at the prisoner again, who's clearly still afraid of me, but now he has a nervous smile on his face. I start laughing, despite my best effort, and the man laughs with me.
At some point, I give up on trying to suppress the laughter and we just keep going until I feel better. A huge weight has been dropped off my shoulders, I put my dagger away, and turn to exit while still chuckling slightly. The Captain and Lieutenant haven't moved a muscle, they observe me intently from behind their masks--

My laughter stops, I seem to have swallowed it. My amused grin turns into a tight-lipped grimace. Captain Bear and Lieutenant Wolf are still staring at me as I'm a single step away from crossing the cell's open door. The prisoner is still laughing uncontrollably, but I don't feel like laughing anymore. I've come to a terrible realization just in time, or perhaps too late.

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