"I suppose this is goodbye then," Kong Meiling says quietly as I pour her a cup of tea. "If there truly is no way I can convince you to remain." It's strange to think that we have anything remotely resembling a bond, given I never really got a chance to get to know her all that well - but I did feel something akin to… camaraderie with her? I felt like I had earned her respect before everything went down.

It tickled me that she acknowledged me. I think we could've been great friends.

"Do you really think I would leave Cheng-ge alone, after everything?"

She gives me a small look at the Cheng-ge, but just sighs in response. "No," she admits, "Which is why I won't bother. But being a Rogue Cultivator is no grand story." She takes a slow sip of her tea, her eyes resting on me carefully as I settle in across from her. "You, of all people, understand, don't you? What it means to be at the mercy of the strong."

I can't say she's wrong. Without a Sect backing us, it's not like there would be any repercussions if other cultivators just ganked us and took our things - or worse. Nobody would be around to ask questions, except maybe Tian Mingfei's absent mother or Kong Meiling herself, but the former has had no contact with her daughter for several years and may not even be alive, and the latter…

Well, even if Kong Meiling wanted to do something in the event we were murdered, what can she do? Swear revenge? I don't want that.

And Sect's have so many resources and control over things - all the best hunting grounds, the best places to cultivate… all of that is controlled by Sects, or at least extremely powerful cultivators on their own, because that's the only way to hold onto such things.

It's easy to say 'Well, the Sect didn't protect us either!' but it did. It didn't do a great job of it, or a particularly extensive one, but if it weren't for the rules and the Sect, that asshole could've just killed me or Zhou Cheng straight up, and being a Poison Cultivator, he probably could've done it far too easily for us to even realise before it was too late.

But that's the thing, isn't it? "We're always at the mercy of the strong, Senior Sister." Those rules only exist because the Grandmaster says so. And they get to say so, because they're the strongest in the Sect. "The only way out is to climb to the top."

"How uncharacteristically driven of you, Hei Lian."

I laugh. "Don't misunderstand me, Senior - the way out is to climb, but for someone like me, I have no real interest in escaping it." I give her a more serious, considering look now, hands gently wrapped around my cup to let the warmth seep into my fingers. "If I sat on the top of things, then the world would be at my mercy - that's too much work for someone like me."

If I ruled Heaven, then I would feel… obligated to do something about the state of the world, to make it better. But then I'd probably spin in circles, wondering whether I was making things worse or not, and ultimately, I fear I'd I'd end up doing nothing. Or maybe I'd become some kind of benevolent tyrant.

Frankly, I'm not sure which result is worse, and I have no intention of finding out. The worst part about becoming something you hate is that at the end, it made sense to you at that point. Nobody sets out to become something they hate. It just... happens.

"For me, Immortality seems like a good place to set my sights - and then, if I can manage that, I'll think about ascension." Ruling Heaven seems like a pain in the ass. I'll leave that to the Jade Emperor, but if there's a position open in the Heavenly Bureaucracy, I won't say no.

Kong Meiling lets out a small sigh - an exaggerated one, by her standards. "How someone like you manages to make it this far alone will always mystify me." Somehow, she makes it sound like a compliment.

I'm sure it mystifies a great deal of people, and if I'm lucky, I'll continue to mystify them. "I take it you will be remaining, then, Senior?" I figured she would, but I may as well ask. "Who will help me talk sense into Cheng-ge? Sister Tian will surely only encourage him further."

"Please. There's no need to flatter my ego, Hei Lian. If Zhou Cheng would listen to anyone, it would be you."

She has me there, I suppose.

"My future is here in the Sect, even with its flaws."

Well, it's not like I was really going to push for her to join. It'd be nice, but if she doesn't want to come, she doesn't have to. "Then I guess this is goodbye."

"Of course, I expect the three of you to write," she declares firmly, "And I will be very upset if I learn you simply forgot."

Ah, why are you telling me this, Senior? Don't tell me you're saying it's my responsibility!

… it probably is, isn't it? Well, I was already writing to my parents, so I guess I can write to her as well.

Speaking of my parents, I hope they got my most recent letter - I haven't had a chance to send them anything for a long while, for fairly self evident reasons. I hope they're not too worried.

"I suppose it falls to me to tell Shan Guojin what happened, when he returns. And Song Ren as well, I suppose."

"Where is Song Ren? I heard he was training under a Core Disciple. Is he so busy he cannot visit?" The bastard is gone now - surely, he has no reason to hide from any potential repercussion?

Kong Meiling just offers me a quiet shrug. "I haven't seen him in a few weeks. I assume he is still training. We have had little opportunity to talk."

Damn. It feels a little sad knowing that asshole was able to break up Zhou Cheng's little group so easily, but at the same time, that's just the nature of life isn't it? It's kind of rare for friend groups to survive into adulthood from childhood.

… or it was, in the modern world. I suppose most people in this world don't really move that far from where they grew up, if they move at all, so the people you're surrounded with as a child are probably still there when you're an adult, for better or for worse.

"Well. Let him know I'll try to write to him as well, if he's willing. And Senior Shan." I hope he's okay, honestly. Going to war so young… it can't be easy.

That's the upside of not being attached to a Sect. They can't order us to fight their battles or send us on missions. We lose protection, but we gain freedom.

The two of us fall into a comfortable silence, carefully sipping our tea until our cups are empty.

She makes the first move - and bows. "Thank you for your service, Hei Lian," she says simply.

I'm a little taken off guard by the display, but I return the gesture. "Thank you for your service, Kong Meiling."

She rises smoothly, gently brushing her robes off and leaves.

And that leaves me just one more goodbye to give, some final preparations to make… and then it's time to return home.

---

Bang Yanhuo wasn't happy to see me go, but he didn't spend too long trying to convince me to stay. He did, however, finagle some recipes out of me. I wasn't really expecting that kind of thing, but apparently my cooking was such a hit with the patients that there had been no shortage of complaints after that bastard claimed me.

That's… surprisingly flattering. At some point, my reputation had slowly changed from 'that weird fatty, Hei Lian', to 'that kind fatty, Hei Lian'. Perhaps it could've grown further. Perhaps I could've become a beloved fixture of the Sect, a kindly Elder that Disciples would flock to.

I wasn't one to worry about 'what could've been', because that way lies madness. But it did feel like another thing that bastard took from me.

But again, no point worrying about that.

"It's good to be on the open road again," Tian Mingfei crows as she strides up to stand beside me, peering over the edge of the Cloud Boat. "Don't you think, Hei Lian?"

I don't know that I have a strong opinion. "Technically, we're in the open sky."

She snorts. "Semantics! The road is not a real road, it's metaphorical!" She taps her chest with an expression I assume is meant to signify wisdom. "My mother told me that the Road is the Way - that it lives within all of us, and we must walk it to the end if we call ourselves Cultivators."

I scratch my cheek. "Doesn't that mean we are always walking the open road?" If the Road is within us, and we take it as a metaphor for the path we're on in terms of our lives and fates and not like, the literal road you might take between cities, then… are you ever off of the road? "Isn't it said that all ways lead to the Way? From Nothing came One. From One came Two. From Two came all things." And theoretically, from all things you can trace back to Two, then to One, then to Nothing - to the Dao.

Or at least, that's the idea.

This actually seems to stump Tian Mingfei for a moment, and her face scrunches up. "... That is true…" she mutters, still chewing on her thoughts, "But also… hrm. If we are always walking the Way, always seeking it, then do we need to cultivate to reach the Dao? But if there were no need to cultivate, then why would anyone? Why do only cultivators grasp it?"

… Well, I think we'd still cultivate because man has ever sought a sharper, shinier rock with which to kill his brethren but I'm not going to say that. "That sounds like a question for someone who knows a lot more than we do," I offer dryly. "I'm sure it'll all make sense when you get far enough in understanding." I mean, if you showed Calculus to someone who was just learning how to multiply, they'd wonder how the fuck any of that worked too, so the fact that we don't immediately understand the Dao should just be a given.

People with a much greater understanding than we do still haven't realised the true Dao. I wonder if anyone has… outside of the Three Pure Ones or something. If they exist? I think they would.

I'll worry about that later. I leave Tian Mingfei to stew over that and consider the implications - or to just enjoy the view, whatever she decides on, and check on where Zhou Cheng is meditating on the deck.

Upon our official resignation from the Sect, and going through all the paperwork - which mostly amounted to 'If you share our secrets, we'll have to kill you. Nothing personal.' (not that we knew any secrets worth sharing) and things like that, we were offered a free ride to our destination… mostly because they were already going that way, admittedly, but Elder Chu seemed to frame it as one last favour.

Zhou Cheng doesn't say anything to acknowledge my presence, but when I sit down next to him, he's already sidling closer, going so far as to lean directly on me.

I expected him to be a little less… touchy-feely after things settled down, and now that we were in an environment where other people - strangers, even - could see. But well, I wasn't complaining. "How do you feel, Cheng-ge?"

He makes a little pleased noise at my term of address. I'm not sure why he seemed to draw so much satisfaction from it, but if it made him happy… "Nervous," he admits after a moment, which feels like something the old Zhou Cheng would never have admitted, "I don't want to offend your parents."

I make a face. "Don't be worried about that." My parents are pretty good people. Loving, welcoming, indulgent. Effusively proud of me for being a cultivator, of course, but even before, they were nothing but supportive of me, their only son. "They'll love you and Tian Mingfei." If anything, I'm worried they'll assume Tian Mingfei is my girlfriend or something - or just do a lot of nudging and winking in that regard.

"If Lian-er says so," he acquiesces, shifting a little against me so his back is pressed against my side. Getting comfortable, you cheeky brat? "... I don't know what to do in a situation like this."

I sigh. "I'm nervous too," I offer after a moment, leaning back against him. "I haven't seen them in… five years now. I wrote, but…" Well, he knows what happened. "Three years is a long time. I hope they're okay, and that my… silence wasn't too distressing." I don't know if their letters to me got to anyone at the Sect. I don't know if the Sect gave them some standard line about how I was 'busy' or whether they just threw their letters away.

I doubt that bastard read them - he would've mentioned it, used it against me in some way.

"Don't worry," Zhou Cheng declares, puffing his chest out, "If anything happens, I'll be there to protect you."

It takes everything I have not to laugh. "My hero," I tease back, taking way too much satisfaction in his little petulant huff.

He's been really hung up on that, as of late. I guess it's understandable - and again, it's not like I mind. This side of him is cute too. Cuter than his headstrong prodigy side, at least.