*sigh*

To think that I would be so focused on this doll, and all its peculiarities, that I would completely miss the simple truth that all the evidence had pointed to.

Melody was never a doll at all.

I don’t know how I never saw it… perhaps I simply enjoyed the new status quo too much, and didn’t want anything to change. To tell the truth, having such a lively assistant was much more pleasant than I would have expected, and I dare say I even grew attached to the concept. I suppose that much was already apparent, especially considering the way in which my studies of her shifted from simple tests and analyses to more enrichment based activities focused on education and quality of life. The truth has been revealed now, however, and as much as it pains me to have made such a serious mistake for so long, dwelling on it won’t help.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget the face she made when I sat her down and asked her if she thought she was actually a doll. The look of shock as she considered the possibility for what must have been the first time, followed by the glowing pink tears of relief that I never even thought to collect for analysis, I was too concerned about other things at the time. I wish I could have done more to comfort her, but I don’t even know where I would start when it comes to helping someone with their emotions, and it doesn’t help that this situation has led to new concerns of my own.

I can now say with confidence that Melody isn’t a doll, but in that case, what exactly is she? She has expressed a wide range of emotions, despite her current lack of knowledge she seems to possess intelligence equal to that of an adult, and after everything that’s happened I have no reason to doubt she’s sentient, even if it took us both a while to realise it. With that in mind it seems safe to conclude that she is indeed a person of some description, but what exactly is she, and why does she reside in the body of the mannequin?

A part of me hopes she’s the result of some freak anomaly involving unrelated energies at the time of my experiment, because if that’s not the case then that would suggest that the experiment somehow created a fully formed, genuine, living soul, and I think that might scare me more than any other possibility. I don’t even think I could bring myself to investigate her soul at this point, not when I know how uncomfortable the idea makes her, and I’m not confident I would gain anything from the experience aside from confirming what I’ve already realised. 

At this point the real question isn’t if she has a proper soul or not, it’s how it ended up in that body in the first place, and I’m not confident there’s much I could do to figure that out considering how many times I’ve already gone over the experiment notes to check for errors. Either the experiment somehow managed to tap into some new form of witchcraft, or similar magic, that’s far beyond what I’m capable of understanding, or Melody’s creation can at least partially be attributed to something entirely separate to the experiment that I have no knowledge of. I don’t believe I have the energy or motivation to investigate either possibility right now.

The good news is that Melody has been doing much better since we’ve discussed the issue. The anxiety symptoms still remain, which I can only assume are due to not knowing what she is, and not having any clear avenue she could investigate to find out, but aside from that her mood has improved noticeably. I’m glad to be hearing her songs again, and she seems happy to continue helping me, but I’m not sure I’m okay with allowing her to do that unless she’s confident that’s what she wants, especially since she’s not a doll, and can make her own choices now.

I’ve asked her to think about what it is she wants to do with herself, and while she hasn’t made a solid decision yet, it seems like she may want to travel. She has expressed interest in seeing the world beyond my home and the nearby town, and getting to see some of the creatures and places she’s been reading about. I think there’s a lot she could learn from such an experience. Who knows, perhaps she’d even be able to uncover her own secrets in the process, she’s always been full of surprises, after all.

I can’t help but wonder how she’d fare as an adventurer, she did have that survival guide, and has shown some proficiency as a healer, so it may be a decent fit for her. If I remember correctly, another town not too far from here will even be holding an event for new adventurers to form a party in a few weeks, perhaps I should let Melody know in case she’d like to take advantage of the opportunity. I do not entirely know how she’d fare, but her unique body may offer her some advantages as long as she can keep herself together, and I’d certainly feel better knowing she was out there in a party instead of wandering around on her own.

I have to admit that it won’t be the same around here if she chooses to leave, but I wouldn’t dare get in the way of her figuring out who she wants to be. What I will do, however, is make sure she’s as prepared as she possibly can be for whatever she decides to do with herself.

The day has finally come, Melody has just set off for the party formation event. It will take her approximately two days to travel to the town where it’s being held, but I made sure she left three days in advance, to account for the sorts of distractions she tends to get herself caught up in. I also wasn’t sure how anyone would react to a wooden girl wandering around, whether they think she’s a doll or not, so I’ve brought her a suit of armour to hide her more unique traits, and if she’s lucky it might also assist in stopping her body from falling apart.

I’m not sure I’ll be able to get used to my lab being so quiet again, I would consider bringing on a new assistant, but it may be a while before I’m ready to do so. I really did appreciate having Melody here, and I doubt that it would be the same with someone else, not to mention the difficulties involved in finding someone suitable who would also be willing to work around witchcraft. It truly is strange that this experience has had this effect on me, I must admit. I’ve never had any issues working alone until now.

I have also decided to put the synthetic doll project on hiatus, at least until I have a better understanding of what actually took place during the experiment. If I’m being completely honest, I’m scared to think about what might happen if I run it again, creating living souls, and the implications therein, aren’t something I wish to dabble in. I’m not confident I’ll ever get answers to some of the questions I’ve had over the past six months, but I can’t help but feel like Melody has a better chance at finding those answers out there than I do in here, not that I have any real basis for such a claim.

Regardless of all that, I’m glad that the last six months happened. I’m glad to have created Melody, in spite of all the chaos and confusion that experiment wrought. I’m glad that I was able to help her learn new things and realise who she was, even if my own mistakes were the reason it took her so long to do so. I’m also glad that she’s set out to pursue her goals, as hard as it may be for me to see her leave, and I sincerely hope she’s able to find what she’s looking for, whatever that may end up being.

I think there’s one thing I’m especially thankful for, however…

*sigh*

I’m really fucking glad I decided against putting the maid outfit on the mannequin before running the experiment, that would have led to the situation between us becoming… exceedingly weird…