I bet Ren told you I was the one that started this whole relationship. Well you’re wrong there buddy. I mean sure I wanted to get it over with but I never expected to get those feelings reciprocated.

Straight up lost puppy, if I’m being honest.

Of course, Ren kinda left my life for a couple years after that. We went off to separate colleges after all, and with Wellsworth out of the picture at the eleventh hour, I was off to community college.

And honestly? It was probably the best decision of my life.

After Ren walked out on the night of the festival, I didn’t hear from him again, and honestly, it was too soon for me to see him either. I didn’t want to give him the cold shoulder, but it was way easier to do that than actually talking to him about anything going through my head. Hell, I don’t even know what I have to say, or even want to say.

By the time I had some time to really pick myself up, though, it was mid-August, and I felt like I was being left behind. Sure Emily and Steffany were around to help me get used to this “girl” stuff, but they had shit to do. We’re all going our separate ways and most of the people I knew were packing up and going off to college after the summer, not sticking around here in the middle of suburbia.

It sometimes felt like I was being left behind, not just because of this TSD business, but because everyone else seemed to be staying on course. Hell, even knowing Ren was broken up about us, he could still just go off to college at the end of the month and he could, you know, move on…

“Move on,” I thought to myself. I let that thought envelope me like a sweet daydream, but it turned out to be a nightmare when I dwelled too long. After all, nightmares are dreams too, right?

This is good. This is all good. If I just give Ren the cold shoulder and let him go off to college, he can forget about me, right? I can carry on with my life, he can go meet some new friends, join the anime club over at the U.C., I’ll never have to see him again.

Before I knew it, I was convinced that the rest of his life was set on a brilliant trajectory without me. Good. I’m not the one spiraling, you’re spiraling.

******

By the time I got out of my depression-induced Lasting Legacy crafting-binge fugue state, it was quite a few weeks and three ultra rare crafters achievements later. And now, it was time to come out of my room and sign up for Fall semester classes.

I guess besides the excitement of this being college—although, again, this is just community college—this is basically the same as high school, just that I have to plot out everything myself. I guess this is kinda cool, but on the other hand…

“Uggghh, what do you mean Intro to Bio is filled up? I needed that! Shit.”

Someone gave me a harsh little shush in the college library. I decided to come out and do the registration there after consulting with an advisor.

If I was transferring out to a proper four year college and getting my undergraduate shit done in four, I needed to get all my classes squared away here first. But unfortunately, apparently I’m not allowed to take my required classes because apparently every single student going here needed to take Intro to Bio and registered before I could.

“If everyone needs to take it, why can’t they make more spaaaaaace.”

I’m just whining now, but I guess the other kids in the library didn’t appreciate me vocalizing it. Man, you shut up, it’s fucking August, it’s like summer, we’re not even in the school year yet, what are you even studyi-

“Yeah, Intro to Bio? Are you a freshman?”

My internal monologue mouthing off whoever was shushing me got cut off as someone else softly whispered to me. I look over to the side to see the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen in a community college library. Spiked black hair, black t-shirt, black pants, even though we’re in the middle of summer here. But being dressed in all black and the edgy hair was nothing compared to this guy’s piercings. Holy crap, his ears was more metal than flesh, and there was even a chain extending out to a silver lip ring on his lower lip. Piercings on the bridge of his nose, piercing on parts of his face that I never even knew you could get pierced. He looked scary, but his comment was normal enough. He was-

“Claude,” he said with a little wave.

“Kai,” I replied back, and then remembered why he even started to talk to me. “And yeah, starting this Fall. I really need Bio.”

Claude nodded, as if he had just figured out everything going on in my head right then and there.

“Yeah, those classes are pretty impacted, so upperclassmen are given priority. Someone coming in this semester probably will have a tough time getting in,” he said. “Just take something else for now and try again next term. You’ll probably get it in the Spring.”

“Do you need bio? Are you taking Bio?” I ask. Given the amount of metal on his face, I’d assumed he was more chrome than biological material, but maybe he needed to understand living things all the more as a result.

“Me? Nah. I just know all those intro classes are like that. I needed Intro to Psych.” He seemed almost proud of this fact as he said it.

“Did you get it?”

“Oh yeah, like 3 semesters ago. Only took a year to get it,” he said with a smirk.

“Oof,” there goes my hopes of finishing all my work in two years.

“You trying to finish in two?”

Wait did I say that out loud? I stare at him in surprise.

“No, you didn’t say it out loud. I can just read what you’re thinking on your face,” he said, cracking a smile. “Also, yes, I’m aware my face if covering in piercings.”

I return his smirk and rock my head. “Guessing those psych classes are teaching you something,” I said.

He leaned back, easy smile still spread languidly across his lips. “Actually, that was from interpersonal communication, but it’s all under the same umbrella.”

He doesn’t seem like a bad guy. Unless, oh no, is he hitting on me?

“I’m not hitting on you, by the way, you just happened to be going through it as a wide-eyed freshman,” he said, giving a little wink.

Claude was obviously hitting on me. He doesn’t even look like the type of guy who would hang out in a library in the summer. Why would he even be here, if not to pick up girls? It’s obvious, isn’t it?

“And honestly, if I were looking for someone to hook up with, I wouldn’t be trying to find someone at the community college library during summer break,” he said.

No, really, was this guy actually psychic?

Claude checked his phone, briefly and back over to me.

“I’m just waiting for a friend while she takes summer classes, she should be by any second,” he said.

As if on cue, his eyes perked up and he stood up to wave.

“Ah, and there she is. Really, good luck with your first term. If all else fails and you just need units, take intro to figure drawing or something,” he said with a little smirk. “Cya Kai.”

With that, he collected his things and walked over to the library entrance where a an equally stand-out woman in black gothic lolita attire stood, she towered over Claude in her four inch boots which she honestly didn’t need because she already had quite a few inches on the punk boy already. The two didn’t even look back my way as they left the library, off to god know’s where.

That left me alone trying to fill a 4 unit hole on my 16 unit schedule. At this point intro to figure drawing might as well be it if all the other classes I need are full or locked behind pre-requisites.

******

About a couple weeks later, I started classes and was finally truly alone. I had taken a few AP classes, so I could get into some of the higher level courses, save for that intro to bio, meaning most other people I knew who were taking the community college route from high school weren’t around in my classes. Meanwhile Steff’s gone down south to San Diego, either getting a tan or an engineering degree, or both, and that’s left me to be my own personal cheer leader to motivate myself to go through the humiliating ordeal of subjecting myself to community college.

It’s Thursday of my first week, and I’ve gone through to most of the classes, which didn’t seem too wild. Kinesiology, chemistry lab, physiology, most of the classes seemed straight forward enough. The classes just feel like more high school to me, but at least here, school was only four days a week and I could close it out with one last class for the week.

I could have tried to mull things over more, but I wound up scheduling in those last four units on an afternoon studio class for drawing. Sure, fine, maybe that weird guy at the library planted the idea in my head, but it’s not like I was trying to take this class because of him or anything like that.

Drawing could be fun. I’m not that bad of an artist myself, so maybe I just need to loosen up a bit after a long week, and a casual low-risk Thursday afternoon class is all I need to take my mind off of the fact my life is irreversibly fucked up and spiraling out of control because everything I know and expected is imploding left and right for me is- Claude?!

The unmistakably small wiry man, more metal than flesh, sat in the far corner of the art studio, next to him was the equally memorable gothic lolita woman. He, too, noticed me and waved.

There was no one else in the room I really recognized, so I suppose this is fate. I walked to the back of the room and joined Claude and his friend.

“Hey, didn’t think you’d actually take figure drawing,” he said.

I try to crack a polite smile and nod. “Well, you know, I guess this could be a good way to close off the week.”

He nods, as if he really does know all this already.

“Ah, trying to keep your Fridays open? Same here.”

“Yeah,” I say.

“Smart, though the rest of your week is pretty packed isn’t it?” he muses.

He was right, but I don’t really bother to acknowledge it, and the moment of awkward silence drives him to keep going.

“Anyway, this is Poison Le Fae,” he said introducing me to the woman next to him. “Poison, this is, uh-”

“Kai,” I say looking over to her. We exchange a knowing look with each other and wordlessly communicate everything we needed:

“Hi Kai, Claude didn’t have to say my full name out loud, but I think he likes showing me off because I stand out in a crowd—not like he doesn’t already do that himself. I don’t actually know you, but I guess we’re classmates so there’s no reason to be shitty about it to each other.”

That’s what I figured she was saying to me with her eyes.

Meanwhile, I shot back similar sentiments, like, “Hi Poison, cool name. I won’t try to make this weird. You’re honestly probably pretty cool and we can be chill with each other, but I, too, don’t appreciate being put upon into social situations through the whims of others. I actually don’t know anyone here and I would hate to mess anything up, so lets just take it slow. Also, nice dress, you’re kinda cute, but also fuck, I probably shouldn’t say anything too weird, because it’s probably weird for some random person to start complementing your wild fashion choices, and-”

“Hey,” she squeaked out, her voice cracked.

Oh no, she probably thinks I was awkwardly staring at her. She probably thinks I think she looks weird. I don’t, really I don’t. You’re really pretty, actually. Please, please, please don’t think I’m being weird with you.

While I quickly sat back down in my seat and face my eyes forward at the void in front of me. More students had started to show up, a mix of people our age and a number of older folks, retirees probably, who were just here to take the class for the hell of it. Meanwhile, Claude and Poison continued chatting away without me, but in a way it seemed like I was welcome to just listen in from the side. Though, to be truthful, it seemed more like Claude was just yammering away to anyone who would lend an ear while Poison occasionally went, “oh no,” and “oh my god,” about his car troubles.

Fair enough, Claude’s story about trying to get his beat up Jupiter EYE to pass smog was pretty wild, if bordering on the illegal. It reminded me of Ren’s car, too, though his car was probably worse off than what Claude was describing.

Ren’s car…

I feel my cheeks flush and I try to change the subject in my head. He’s not a part of my life anymore. He’s like a hundred miles away going to a nicer university and getting on with his life and moving on without me.

But I had to wonder how that old car could still pass smog.

Being lost in my own thoughts at least helped a little, as enough time had passed that the instructor finally showed up. He was a casual looking bearded guy who was no Wayne Thiebaud, but he certainly wasn’t a Bob Ross either.

“Welcome, welcome to Introduction to figure composition,” he said striding to the head of the room rather than standing at the center where everyone was facing. It’s a pleasure to teach this class, blah blah blah, here’s the syllabus, here’s the major submission dates, we’ll have model drawings on these days, blahtily blahtily blah. I absent-mindedly keep vigil on him droning on as I think about how I already read all this stuff on the syllabus he sent a week before.

And it looks like the rest of the class feels the same way, as we all kinda just let our eyes wander. I can tell our corner of the room is attracting the most stares as my fellow classmates glance over to Poison and Claude who stick out even by the standards of rebellious youth.

Finishing up the preamble, he starts taking roll to check off who’s here

“Poison Le Fae?”

“Present.”

The gothic lolita answered. Oh my god, that’s her actual legal name. I couldn’t help but look over to her with the rest of the class and almost missed him calling my name next after her.

“Kai Maname? … Kai?”

“Oh! Here!” I say.

Claude looks over, “Maname, huh?”

I shoot him a quick glance. “Minami, actually, but no one gets it right.”

Claude leans back, as if he was engraving that correction into his mental notebook. “Huh,” he says a beat later.

“Claude Stanton?”

“Right here!” He says, quickly waving his hand.

“Stanton huh?” I whisper to him.

“He said my name correctly. No correction necessary,” he assured.

We crack a smile and leave it at that.

The rest of the class goes on without much incident. Mr. D assigned us to do a quick sketch of some still life so he can assess where everyone is at with their skills and we spent the rest of the period drawing.

Claude and Poison seemed to exchange a few words as they drew, but I didn’t really try to intrude, though I did catch Claude catching a few glance at my sketch book.

By the end of class, we had all drawn a faithful representation of a bowl of fruit to various degrees and we were excused.

“So you’re done for the day?” Claude asks as I was stuffing my notebook into my bag.

“More or less,” I say.

He’s going to ask to hang out isn’t he?

“Poison and I are grabbing dim sum for finishing our first week.”

Here it comes.

“You wanna come with?”

I look over to Poison who doesn’t seem to be against this idea either, and well, getting to know these two better than just chatty drawing neighbors doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea.

“Yeah, sure, why not, end of my first week of college, I guess.”

“Oh yeah, you’re a freshie, come on. Let’s celebrate,” he says.

I send my mom a quick text to let her know I’ve somehow made some friends and dinner plans and headed out the classroom. Claude made a little flourish as he opened the door for Poison and me, but that moment of chivalry was lost the moment we hit the late afternoon sun baking concrete outside and reminded all of us we are just on this planet to suffer.

While I was a local resident and knew the college district as a local, it’s not like I spent all that much time around here before, so I let the two take the lead as they walked off campus and to a small collection of restaurants nearby. The whole place seemed packed with other students who had the same exact idea we had as we lined up for a seat at a dim sum spot in the back.

Now that I was officially part of the group, I couldn’t really avoid conversation with these two, but the two at least spared me from too many grilling questions, giving me an opportunity to get to know them.

How did they meet? Friends since high school.
Were they both always this extra? Yes.
Isn’t it hot wearing this much black during the summer? Yes.
How are they not dying from the heat? Claude says vents through all the holes in his head. Poison says “fae shit.”
How many years have they been going to school here? This is their fourth year.
What are they even majoring in? Yes.

Meanwhile Claude slipped in a few questions of his own in between mine.

“How come you two want to hang out with me anyway?” I asked. Admittedly, even if I kinda liked these two, it’s not like I was putting on any airs that makes it look like I’d fit in with them.

“Pegged you as one of us,” Poison chirped.

“Wat?” No really, what?

“Look, I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have started talking to you in the library if I didn’t think you were,” Claude mused.

One of them? What? Do they know? What? The fuck???? HOW DO THEY KNOW?

“My dear, as much as you might be subconsciously thinking you’re managing to hide it, we absolutely know,” he went on to say.

But HOW?

“You were wearing a speed running t-shirt parodying a Sex Pistols poster. When you know, you know.”

HOW DOES THAT OUT ME?

“Yeah, you don’t wear something like that and not be a nerd,” Claude said.

Wait…. a nerd?

“Yeah, after meeting you, he came up to me all giddy like, ‘don’t look, just walk with me straight out the door, stay cool.’ He was absolutely putting on airs to act cool around you,” Poison said.

“Yo, not cool. You didn’t have to say that part, I just thought she seemed like an interesting potential friend in the library and-“

He WAS hitting on me?

“Wow, hey Kai, your mom ever tell you about guys like this? He’s absolutely trying to take advantage of you,” Poison said finally cracking a smile that was more than genuine.

“POIZ, PLZ,” Claude was burning red in embarrassment now.

Well, that was unexpected, but thanks, I guess? What he saw in me is beyond me but in any case-

“Look, honestly, you see a scraggly girl wearing gamer shirts and some baggy jeans, you get an idea, you know? There’s a type, like-”

“What he’s trying to tell you is, he thought a girl from a modestly successful long running webcomic about video game nerds was leaping out of the pages and coming to attend community college for real, the pinnacle of wish fulfillment for the most desperate and pitiful of men. And if you can understand what I mean, it’s too late.”

Okay, fair enough. I actually understand what Poison said there, so maybe she’s got a point there. Maybe I am one of them.

“Honestly, though, it seemed like you were a fish out of water, in your own way. Like, you’ve been acting like you don’t belong here, that you got somewhere better to be. Most folks coming here don’t have their whole college career plotted out coming into community college, much less get that frustrated over a full class they can’t get into their first semester here. Why are you out here hanging with a couple of misfits like us anyway?”

After sufficiently writhing in pain from the embarrassment, Claude seemed to be trying to collect himself and salvage his cool factor by now being the one to ask the questions. An admirable attempt, but this wasn’t going to wash away all the embarrassing shit he just revealed to me. He’s totally screwed, forever.

Claude’s failure to establish himself on the pecking order aside, I did have to think a bit about how best to describe how I’m got here. Was it okay to tell them? After all, is that the kind of thing you talk about the first day you’re getting to know someone? I pursed my lips on the actual reason why I was here, but did my best to explain my situation.

Still, it was worth throwing them a bone here.

“Honestly, I was supposed to go to Wellsworth,” I start. The two of them both immediately leaned in to listen. “Pretty much a full-ride even.”

“Dang,” Poison remarked. “You’re smart, smart aren’t you?”

“But some last minute issues came up with my housing situation at the school, and I had to live off campus, but I couldn’t really do that, you know? It wasn’t fair, but the scholarship didn’t pay for me living off campus, so it all just kinda fell apart a couple months ago. So, after that, this late into summer and all? This was really the only option.”

I took a deep breath, holding it hoping that they wouldn’t pry any further. I don’t know if I can tell them exactly why any of this happened in the first place. Thankfully, the two didn’t think to pry any further it seems.

“Damn, girl, you really have your priorities set don’t you?” Claude said. “Sucks about Wells, but it sounds like you’re at least on your way to something.”

Maybe the question of why was coming, but the server interrupted us before we could delve any further and we were soon seated at our table. I had only been to dim sum a few times before, and always with family, but Claude assured us Poison’s got it.

Before the server had a chance to get a word in, Poison started speaking in Chinese, setting our table up with some tea and an order of dumplings, along with some greens.

“Quarter Chinese,” she just says, aware that I was likely staring at her with some confusion over the white girl speaking Chinese. “I don’t really speak it much outside of ordering at restaurants, but I learned a bit when I was little.”

“Don’t ask her what the rest of her is.” Claude jokes, and I give her a curious glance.

She gave a resigned little sigh, feigning a regal air of exasperation and said: “Faerie, with a drop of unicorn blood.”

For real?

“Mostly German,” she assured when I didn’t say anything in response for more than two seconds.

Dinner went by quickly, but not before a second and third round of orders, culminating in some BBQ pork buns and some dessert. They were right, I did fit right in with these two in a strange number of ways. Poison even played Lasting Legacy, though on a separate server, and Claude seemed like a decent guy too, into bands like Wyvernwind and the D’z. Hell yeah.

By the time we finished up, the sun was setting, even with the long waning days of summer meaning it was light out until pretty much 8 p.m.

Still, it was officially probably time I really should head home lest my mom start getting worried, but Poison and Claude showed no signs of getting ready to go home just yet. After leaving the restaurant we walked back a ways towards campus and parked ourselves on a bench.

I looked back toward campus and the bus terminal there before looking back over to the two.

“You need to get going?” Claude said.

I made a sound that even I wasn’t really sure what it meant. I wanted to stay, but I felt a little guilty staying out so late. And past 7, the buses get sparse.

“Well,” I start to say.

“I’m not going to leave you stranded, I’ll take you home,” Claude said.

“In your car?” Poison asked.

“In my car.” Claude responded, matter of factly.

Oh right, his car. I just remembered what that might entail, but the temptation of a free ride home outweighed the uncertainty. If I die, at least it will be with friends, right?

Poison rolled her eyes and looked over to me.

“We don’t even know where she lives, Claude,” she nags. “You’re just going to ask where a girl you just met today lives?”

She had a point, but I figured these two were alright. If either of these two were less than savory, they would have probably abducted me by now either way.

“It’s okay, really. I appreciate the offer, but if it’s any trouble-”

“It’s no trouble at all!” Claude said that with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. “It’ll be an adventure!”

“Eh, fine,” Poison said as she dug a pack of cigarettes from her purse.

“We can take this detour, but let me get a smoke in before we set out,” she said waving the pack up in the air.

Without bothering to wait for a response, Poison tapped loose a cigarette and quickly put it in her mouth to light it. I didn’t really know my cigarette brands all that well, but they smelled good, like cinnamon or incense.

Poison took a drag and exhaled, the scent of her cigarettes wafted around us as Poison and Claude started idly chatting. I could have joined in with them, but for some reason, I just I sat back and stared out past the trees lining the perimeter of the school. The whole school was shadowed by a cool blue early evening twilight, but the orange glow that had once been the sun glowed in the distance beyond sight.

I was finally in college, and I was hanging out with real college students. One of them is even smoking. I really am growing up now aren’t I? I think about what a milestone this was. A wisp of smoke floats by my gaze and I look over to Poison who is also staring off into the distance with me before noticing I’m looking her way.

“Don’t ask me for any cigarettes,” she aid casting her gaze away. “They’re terrible for you. Especially cloves.”

I smile and return my focus to the setting sun.

“Thanks,” I say, a dumb smile spreading my face.

SleepyMaid

Hey now, just because I didn't update for three years doesn't mean this was under hiatus. It just means life comes at you fast. Heh, hah. Hoooooo.... Look, I have at least 2-3 chapters more planned with this, but they'll be ready when they're ready. I'll try to do it by the end of the decade while the Internet still exists.

In the meantime, come watch me yap while I stream (almost only once a month), or scream regularly on sOciAl media?