Birches protected the parking lot in front of my school. Lined down in a row, they separated the school from the street, giving the illusion of being unseen by the outside world. A song about how it's too cold outside played on the radio, which was funny because three minutes earlier, the host announced that this year was the hottest spring ever recorded. Conor gaped at the round white auditorium above it as I drove into a parking space close to the main entrance. It stood out because the rest of the building was built out of red bricks, accentuating the white globe that looked as if a planet had crashed into the building even more. The words' Saint Frances High School,' emblemed in silver above the doors, shimmered down at us in the sunlight.

"I'm still surprised you took me seriously about going here," Conor laughed.

"Good. Maybe there are… even some more surprises waiting for you," I replied, a bit thrown off as to whether his suggestion had actually been a joke. "Shouldn't I have taken you seriously?"

"No, no! I truly want to see it. And, boy," he leaned back, his eyes still wandering around the other row of birch trees that separated the building from the parking lot," I don't want to know how much your parents have to pay so you can attend."

"They have the best football team in the state. Otherwise, I might have gone to Middletown High too."

I turned off the engine and felt a bit fidgety. As much as I thought I was ready for this date, I was also scared of something going wrong. I turned my head to scan if anyone else was there. Only two other cars were parked close to the school's back entrance, but my best guess was that someone who was visiting one of the nearby public parks had just misused the empty lot. Even if they're not, there is no backing off now. You will ask Conor, no matter how scary it is that he might not say yes.

"Wanna get out of the car?" I laughed at the idea of wandering on school grounds during the holidays.

We grabbed the door handles simultaneously and stepped into the spring heat. I've never been here when it was this quiet. Only the sound of cars in the distance and the singing of birds accompanied us. No chatter, no trouble from someone pranking someone else.

It was almost… peaceful.

I wish the atmosphere was like this every day I come here. Or does it feel different because Conor's with me?

"Ah, bring the donuts with you," I reminded Conor.

"Planning on having a picnic?" he asked, the donuts already in his hands as he closed his door.

"Maybe," I grinned.

We walked up to the main entrance. On the sides of the grey concrete path leading there, yellow flowers whose names I didn't know marked the way like lights on a runway at night.

Conor stopped in front of an information board on the right that I had never noticed before.

"Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible. Saint Francis of Assisi," he read out loud. "What a motto for a school."

He beamed at me as if I had some story to tell about that. As if I knew why they picked that motto for whatever mission the school had.

But the truth is: I've never heard that saying before. Or read that. And I've been a student at this school for three years now. But to be fair…

"Our coach always uses another one when giving us a pep talk."

"Which one?"

"The only thing ever achieved in life without effort is failure. Or something like that."

But it wasn't just something like that. It was precisely this sentence. I remembered it word by word because Coach told us almost every week during PE.

"Just what you would expect from a football coach," Conor laughed and headed toward the doors. He pressed his head against the tinted windows and shielded his face with his hands to see better what was on the inside.

"Man, I wish we could stroll through the halls."

He pulled on the door, but, of course, it didn't budge an inch. As he saw me watching him, he shrugged. "I just wanted to see if I could walk through a door you walk through every day."

"I rarely walk in here."

"Because this isn't your school, and you just wanted to show off?"

"No, because there's a back entrance I mostly use because it's easier for Mom to drop me off there."

"What are we waiting for then? Perhaps that one's open."

Conor turned his head left and right to figure out where we had to go if he wanted to see this. I pointed down a sidewalk along the parking lot and held my hand toward him so he could put his in mine. This is a date, after all. He complied, a bit surprised (but pleasantly, as his smile told me).

"I doubt anyone else is here," I explained, leading him to the right to get around the building.

"Do you like this school?"

That's a tricky question because there is no definite yes or no.

"The athletic program is the best. Coach tries to bring out our best and cares a lot about what we do off-season. Last year, we only lost two games."

But—

I don't like who I am at this school. And the people I hang out with aren't like Conor. They aren't… kind people.

Oh, man. Even thinking about them like this sounds mean. But they are my friends as well. And they were nice to me. But… they… we weren't good to others here.

And I wasn't either.

Walking around the corner of the main building, we approached the outdoor eating area next to the back entrance, which was located between the main building and the gym. And for a second, the image of how we used that corner to ambush some innocent freshmen two years ago, to scare them, flashed before my eyes. It's not like I ever beat someone up, but I surely made them think I would.

"Made any friends here?"

"Yeah, of course. Why do you ask?"

Conor's hand was still securely in mine.

"Because you never really talked about other people than the ones I already know."

For the reason that this was a topic that could drive you away from me.

But believe me. I worked hard to stop all of that. I didn't participate in anything ever since that Christmas break. I even tried talking the guys out of bullying the nerds and got into a massive fight with our team captain Damian about it.

"Mostly people from the team I also meet in other clubs out of season."

"Who are you closest to?"

"I guess that would be Damian. He's a linebacker, just like you were."

"Middlefield?"

I nodded and decided that we might sit down and eat the donuts to take my mind off that. With my right hand, I pointed toward the table closest to the football field.

"This is where we eat when the weather allows it."

"Damian and you?"

"And a couple of other guys from the team."

I let go of Conor's hand to pull one of the chairs back and motioned for him to sit down.

"Uhh. What a gentleman."

"If the corny love movies I watched with Mom when I was little have taught me anything, then that," I replied and couldn't help but think that even though it seemed strange, it was fun to act like this.

"May I take these from you?" I nodded at the box of donuts, and Conor happily reached them toward me. I opened them up and held them right under his nose as if this was a fine dining restaurant and I was his waiter.

"This is the finest donut selection this state has to offer. Which one would you like to try first?"

Without questioning it, Conor played along and scanned both of them thoroughly. He finally chose the one in the middle with chocolate icing and nuts.

"What a fine pick."

I couldn't keep it up any longer and laughed, planting my ass into the chair next to him and the donuts between us.

Conor bit into the donut and slowly chewed on it, his eyes getting bigger and bigger.

"Oh, boy. This. Wow! This donut! You have to try it."

"I work in this store. I know how delicious they are," I said, but that didn't stop him from leaning over and shoving it right in front of my face. And… wait. This is a date thing, isn't it? I have to eat it.

I leaned forward and took a bite. Our eyes met for a second, and we couldn't stifle a laugh as this was way too corny. But I wasn't going to stop. He's a theater kid now. He has to love stuff like this.

We both savored the flavor in our mouths. I don't know if it was because Conor fed it to me or the spring sun, but the donut tasted even sweeter than I remembered it.

"So… what's Damian like? Is he hot? Do you find him attractive?"

I almost choked on the half-way chewed donut.

"It's… what kind of question is that supposed to be?"

"What? I'm just curious if I have to fear some competition at this school I don't know about."

"That's. No! He's very, very, very… not hot."

And that was the truth. He's probably not ugly, either. He has short brown hair and some freckles in the summer that he hates, even though I was present when quite a lot of girls told him how cute he looked with them. But I could never see him in any other way than as the team captain or a friend.

Conor playfully acted as if he wasn't sure if he could believe me.

"What about you? Any guys at your school I should worry about? I heard that theater people aren't… innocent."

"Oh no, they're certainly not."

"So, you aren't as well?"

Conor took another bite of the almost finished donut, taking his time chewing as if he was carefully thinking about what he wanted to say next.

"Well, I'm not innocent, but you don't have to worry about anyone there. Most of the guys, well, all the guys except me, aren't gay."

"But you said you weren't innocent… doesn't that mean…?"

"So, wait. Are you asking me right now if I have done it before?" He raised his voice, overly dramatic, "Here, in this fine-donut restaurant? In front of all these people?"

"Kinda."

Conor shook his head as if he was surprised that I asked a question like that. And to be fair, I was surprised myself. It's not as if I planned to ask something like that. He started that!

Conor didn't take his eyes off of me.

"I have."

He glanced at the remaining donut and then at me as if he wanted to order me to take one out of the box for myself.

"But also only with one guy. Last year. He was from school. But… it didn't work out how I thought it would."

He shoved the last piece of donut into his mouth.

"Why didn't it work out?"

"Let's just say we had different interests."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not."

He leaned toward the donut box, picked the one with a pink strawberry glaze, and held it in front of my face.

"How can I be when I sit next to the hottest guy in the world?"

I could feel my head getting red as he pushed the donut closer to my mouth, leaving me with no choice but to take a bite. As I did, some crumbs fell off. I reached for them, but they were already too close to the floor to catch them.

"You can't just say stuff like that!"

"This is a free country," he laughed and ate half of the donut in one go. "And now you better spill the tea, or I'm getting terribly mad."

"Would you believe me if I told you I hadn't done… it?"

"Don't play virgin. I know you had girlfriends before."

I did, but… I guess it's my fault that I have to confess this now. I continued to pursue that topic after all.

"It never went past second base."

My words washed Conor's grin away. He stopped breathing for a second, and his eyes got wide.

"And as you know, this was with girls. I never even kissed another guy than you…."

Conor swallowed as if this was a hard pill he didn't anticipate. But yeah, this is also a part of me.

"You know it's not a race? I honestly wish I hadn't done anything with that guy from my school. So, who cares?"

We smiled at each other, and I couldn't believe we had just talked about… that.

At school!

"I guess what I want to say is, thank you for being open with me."

He stood up, leaned his beautiful face over me, and gave me the most passionate kiss of the day yet. I guess our plan of being completely honest worked surprisingly well because I felt even closer to him now.

He held the last donut bite toward me, but I shook my head.

"You have it. I can eat them all the time."

"Your loss," he replied, throwing it into his mouth as if it was an M&M. He eyed the back entrance to my right as he chewed.

"Okay, but for real," Conor went on, "what's next? Those donuts were a good start, but there has to be more. You promised me surprises!"

He wandered in between the tables toward the glass doors. I grabbed the empty donut box and took it to a black trash can on the left.

As before, Conor tried to look inside and then rattled on the handle. But again, nothing. He hopped to the adjacent door and did the same thing, but it didn't budge.

"Are you serious?" I asked as he took another step to the right to try out the third (and last) door.

"I know, I will get lucky!"

And as he pulled, a squeak interrupted the peaceful silence.

The shock on our faces was palpable as he held the door to my school open.