Milo’s head reached out among the crowd. He has gotten so tall that he had to be on the lookout not to tear down all the balloons on the ceiling. Will and I watched him go through the Tristan Welcome Committee as well, and for a moment, Tristan formed his hands into cups in front of his chest, and I got the feeling that they had the exact same conversation as I had with Tristan before. (Just a bit less tasteful than with me, if that is even possible.)

Milo laughed so loudly that a couple of people searched for the culprit. He shook his head, patted Tristan on the shoulder, and leaned closer to say something only meant for my cousin's ears while searching the room for known faces. Milo’s and my eyes met, and as if he was immediately in hunting mode, he didn’t take them off me. It felt almost as if he didn’t want to lose sight of me again so he could make sure I wasn’t up to something.

“Will you be okay?” Will asked me.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll just… do my thing.”

A very silent “okay” left Will’s mouth when I realized that ‘my thing’ to him probably meant being mad and aggressive. He waved for Milo, and a big smile formed on Milo’s face as he reciprocated and raised his arm as well.

As if I had known that it would happen, Milo hit a glowing blue balloon floating from the ceiling, which now worked its way down to Milo’s face, highlighting the scar over his left eye to make him appear extra dangerous. He bounced the balloon back to the others and sent a mild shock wave through all of them. Will edged closer to me to make room for Milo’s muscular body, and I slid to my right too.

The closer Milo got to us, the more intimidating he appeared. His scar glowed in multiple colors as he passed more of the shimmering balloons. I felt uncomfortable sitting and waiting for him to arrive in front of me. And this feeling is multiplied by a hundred when you realize that this guy also had told you he was ready to come for you if you only misbehaved once more.

Will jumped up onto the couch and now appeared to be slightly taller than Milo.

“That’s cheating,” Milo laughed.

“You can’t be the tallest for the rest of your life," Will replied, laughing at his own joke. He closed his eyes as he hugged Milo and climbed back onto the cushion.

“Hey,” Milo acknowledged me, raising his eyebrows as if there was much more he would have liked to say to me.

"Hello," I replied, not knowing if I was allowed to take my gaze off him. I tried to put on a smile but must have failed completely, as his reaction was rather indifferent.

This was the second time today that I didn’t know how to talk to someone anymore. Maybe it’s not a wise idea to talk to them at all.

The couch vibrated as Milo slid onto it.

“Where are Leo and Conor?” he asked.

“Kitchen. They are getting drinks,” I replied, and as Will and Milo both stared at me, I realized that Milo’s question wasn’t meant for me.

I put on another smile as they nodded and wanted to sink into the cushion until it ate me up entirely. That is not going well. But at least it is… going.

“Are you guys also surprised that Tristan invited us?” Milo asked Will. “Since we’re not too popular on Instagram?”

“You have over a thousand followers,” Will replied as if that would at least justify his invitation.

As they kept talking, my brain phased out. The dancing people in front of us were like lava lamps, putting me into a trance.

I wish I knew at least some other people here.

But everyone around me was from Middletown High, including Milo, Leo, and Will. I was only here as his cousin and bait for some girl I didn’t want to get to know.

I searched for Conor. It felt like he had been gone for more than an hour, but it was only five minutes. I peeked at Milo’s legs. He wore black pants and white sneakers with some black stripes on them. He rested his hands on them, and even his fingers seemed strong enough to kill me in an instant. Sitting this close to Milo again was far more challenging than expected. It got harder to breathe by the second, even though Milo tried his best to ignore that I was present and just focused on his conversation with Will. Maybe that is for the best.

“Where are you going?” Will suddenly asked, pulling me out of my trance. I looked down at his and Milo’s flabbergasted faces. I hadn’t even realized I had stood up and walked two feet away from them. Oh no, my body automatically switched into flight mode. Thanks, now I look like a prick.

“I’ll… just check on Conor and Leo,” I said as I couldn’t think of anything better to answer.

I turned around and pushed myself through the dancing crowd, trying not to bump into the people in front of me too hard. I walked into the corridor.

Tristan rushed by me toward the Photo Booth holding a gigantic fake mustache.

“Kitchen! Now’s your chance,” he said, and as quickly as he had approached me, he was also gone, taking some photos with another guy also wearing almost only white and looking like the more elaborate version of Tristan.

I followed the corridor, and the closer we got to the kitchen, the more crowded it got. I pushed my body through a lot more people I had never seen before. A short opening allowed me to move a bit faster for a second, and that’s when I ran into Conor—literally. He balanced two red plastic cups in front of him, but thanks to his quick reaction, he managed to pull his arms to the side so they didn’t get squished between us.

Breathe.

“See, that’s why I didn’t fill them up to the top,” he joked with Leo, who was standing right behind us.

“Sorry I didn’t see you there,” I said.

“Where were you going?” asked Leo, and his face darkened.“Don’t tell me you left Will alone?”

“What? No. Milo is with him,” I retorted, not really understanding what that was about.

Leo’s face softened again. But Conor glanced at me as if he knew that Milo was why I walked away. And I wish I could say that wasn’t true.

“I was looking for you guys because you were away for so long.”

“There is a crazily popular girl handing out muffins and taking selfies with everyone blocking the kitchen,” Leo pointed behind his back.

I spotted a red-haired girl (80% sure it’s dyed) in the center of the room with an almost empty tray of muffins. As she held it toward another girl with a Nirvana T-shirt, I somehow knew that this must have been the girl Tristan talked about. What was her name again? Sara? No, Sari! Her glance met mine, and she tilted her head. A smile appeared on her face, and she winked as if she already knew who I was. Oh, Tristan, what did you do? The blind Nirvana-Shirt-Girl in front of her held the muffin she had grabbed between them and raised her arm for a selfie. Sari jokingly acted as if she wanted to take a bite out of the muffin, and the Nirvana Girl mirrored her. I bet I’ll see this pic on Instagram tomorrow.

“Did she just wink at you?” Leo asked as if that was a positive thing.

“I fear so,” I answered, searching for Conor’s reaction. His eyes tried to remind me of what he said to me when we arrived. That he wouldn’t let me kiss someone else ever again. And I wish I could just tell him here and now that he doesn’t have to worry because I don’t want to do that anyway.

“What’s there to fear? That’s your chance! She’s clearly into you!” Leo replied and nudged my elbow.

“No, thanks, she’s not my type,” I said, glancing at Conor so he hopefully understood that I wanted nothing to do with her.

“Why not? She is basically a combination of all the hottest parts of every girl you were ever into!” Leo laughed.

“Yeah, no,” I said and turned toward the living room to get out of that conversation. I know he only means well. But this bothers me so much.

Breathe.

I have to tell them today. What I really felt for Conor all this time and that I’m sorry for all the sorrow I brought everyone.

Conor handed me one of the cups filled with dark bubbling cola that I had almost smashed out of his hands, and I took it. The ice in it made the cup relaxingly cool.

“Thanks.”

I wish I could hold his hand instead.

Leo passed us and walked back toward the corner where the couch was. I followed him but let myself fall back a bit to be able to exchange some words with Conor secretly. As Leo turned to the right to return to the living room, I stopped moving and blocked Conor’s way.

“I hope you know I’m not planning on doing anything with this girl.”

A guy cleared his throat behind me, and we both leaned against the wall to give him some room to pass.

“I think I’ll go to the bathroom to wash my hands. Do you want to join me?” Conor replied.

I wished for a more comprehensive response to the topic, but—oh wait. He wants to be alone with me for a second!

So without thinking about it, we passed the door to the living room on the right. I followed him further down the corridor into the bathroom on the left.

As soon as I entered, he shut the door behind me in a second, jumped at me, and I had to work hard not to fall over as we kissed. His hands were under my shirt. My nose was in his neck. His mouth was on my chin. And the doorknob was on my back. Our hands, mouths, and noses wandered everywhere until someone outside rattled the doorknob.

“Shoot,” I said as I still held his waist close to mine and panted.

“I meant what I said earlier,” Conor whispered. And all I could think about was that kissing anybody else would never feel as breathtaking as with him.

“Me too.”

“I know.”

And as if nothing had happened, he ran his fingers through his hair, checked his appearance in the mirror, and stepped back outside. I followed him closely.

The place was now overflowing with people, and I still hadn’t seen anyone I knew besides Tristan and my friends.

Conor and I fought our way back toward the couch, and Leo shouted at us as soon as we reached it.

“Where have you gotten lost?”

Milo eyed me as if he thought I had done something to Conor.

“Just some trouble getting through all these people,” Conor replied.

Milo got up and hugged him deeply into his chest, and I could hear him ask, “How are you?” While glancing at me as if, in reality, he was asking for some code they made up just in case I was going berserk. But a grin appeared on Conor’s face before he shot me a look.

“I’m terrific,” he replied. Milo’s view switched between Conor and me. He clasped his lips together and nodded before returning to the couch.

“Milo—“ I said before I could think about it. I wanted to ask him if we could talk, but something in me didn’t manage to do it. “Good to see you again, by the way.”

Well, that was a start.

“Good to see you too,” he answered, and the guys watched.

We both looked at each other as if we would have to talk a little longer, but it was just too awkward with everybody listening in.

“Well, I’m…,” Milo pointed to the couch and sat beside Will. Now there was only one space left next to Leo. I gestured for Conor to sit down. But he shook his head.

“You sit down,” I said with emphasis, “I’ll go on the armrest.”

We did that. The armrest wasn’t comfy, but I somehow managed to lean back far enough so I wasn’t sliding down it. The music kept blasting in our ears, and the people kept dancing.

Leo and Conor talked about stuff, and so did Will and Milo. I didn’t mind just sitting there and enjoying simply being, as long as Conor sat beside me.

“By the way, how did that thing with your boyfriend turn out?” I suddenly overheard Leo asking Conor.

It felt as if everything around me had stopped.

What boyfriend is Leo talking about?

Are they talking about… me?

Or… is there… someone else?