Todd the Kid tips his scruffy tophat back and removes the two pairs of glasses he wears to see his cards better. He claims they highlight his wise eyebrows.

“How can you have wise eyebrows anyway?” I ask Todd the Kid. 

He’s a strange one, even for the Bastards. I suppose that’s what happens when you’re raised by people only a few months older than you.

He pretends to find something interesting in his hands before answering. “They tell me things, give hints, ya know.” He gives me a wink before pushing a pile of pennies into the middle. “All in, your move buddy.” 

My gaze shifts from his sardonic eyebrows, that bounce on his smirking face, and back to my hand. I have three guilds, two houses, a follower of Omnia but also a Daemon face. That last card is meant to be bad, but I’ve only learnt the rules and can’t exactly remember what Suzie said. She fires off words like they’ll kill her enemies, as Russ puts it.

The other Bastards start to goad me as I hesitate.

“Wild man’s a wimp.”

“I’ve seen his purse, he can lose a few pennies to the Kid.”

“He shouldn’t smoke so much, it’ll turn his ears blue. That’s what Ben told me.”

Phil, their usurped king, shouts out from behind the gathered crowd. “Come on hippo humper!”

Penelope slams her hand against the bar.

Silence falls over them as they single out Phil.

“You know the rules.” She says in a tone that even makes me flinch.

Phil, head down in defeat, slowly marches the line to the bar and takes the offered mint leaf from her. Chewing it with a single tear in his eye, he sits outside to weather his penance, alone and shamed.

I feel a tad wave of remorse for the kid, he hit the crappy bottom upon his downfall. Even if he tried to drown me in muk, it’s difficult to watch a child be openly disliked by his peers. Though Penelope's strict rules shall mould the boy into a better man and the others were beginning to belittle him less each day, at least since I accepted his apology.

“You know you can quit, right? It’s extremely shameful and everyone will be embarrassed by it, but it’s an option.” The Kid says.

Rut it, it’s only shrapnel I’ll be losing. I go all in as the watchers squeal with high-pitched delight.

I throw my hand down. “Whatever this is?”

The bastards cry out in laughter.

“Is it bad?” I ask Ben next to me.

“You gotta purple hand. That always loses. Why didn’t you throw it away?”

You can discard a card? 

My opponent throws down his hand to cheers and whistles.

“I got bugger all but you still lose man. Need to start praying to the right god.” He says as Suzie saddles up to the table in time to take half the winnings.

That little shit. “Suzie you… bastard!”

She leers with a Cheshire grin. “Better remember who’s the Queen next time you take their 

pen.”

“You can’t even write.” I snap.

Suzie softens and looks away. “Ya right… me Ma died before she could teach me.”

The rest of them look at each other, the bond that joins them all like family shared in her words.

“I’m so sorry Suz-”

She grins back with a twinkle in her eye. 

“You little orphan.” I shake my head, having fallen for the same lie almost every day since meeting her.

She leaves with her followers chanting her name to the bar. “It’s Orphan Queen!” she shouts back to me. 

Suzie’s immature, but the bastards’ love for her is earned. And financed with my coin, I realise, as she buys them a round of hot coco.

I’m not even annoyed, they’ve earned their reward after all the graft they’re putting into completing the tunnel. My offers to join have been declined with a hefty reminder of my poor guile during our first meeting, the Blackroots won’t treat me so nicely if I get caught.

Though being tied up and thrown-

“Aaaahhhh.” I cry out as a throbbing pain shoots through my hand.

The magical ring given by Harper glows brightly as a fine mist leaks out. Luckily for me, the pain disperses with it.

A small cloud forms into a blank face, that slowly focuses with detail until the York house caster appears before me. 

“Real sadistic way to get someone’s attention,” I say while rubbing my finger, though no visible marks are left behind.

“I never dismiss a tried and true method, hence this conversation. Are you alone?”

I notice the silence in the tavern for the first time, all the bastards and Folkston’s family stare at the ghostly face with intrigue. Russ has also materialised from his upstairs bedroom, he nods for me to proceed.

“Yep, completely.”

She turns to shout at someone out of focus, then looks back. “Good. Those gutters you call home are starting to stink and we can smell the foulness from here. A batch of corrupted Bukkehorn is making the rounds at our galahs. People of note have voiced their highly ‘valued’ opinions on the matter. Find the source and cut it off.” She commands with a sure dominance.

I understand using me as an agent in Undercity since I’m located here, however, there must be more details she’s missing out on. Sending powerful members of her house would ensure success, but also the discovery of their involvement. Using me negates that, or the danger of losing her soldiers and soiling their fine reputation.

Russ holds a note up behind Harper. I resist the urge to scowl at him when I see Suzie’s pen in his hand.

“I need more information. Possible dealers, and districts to search. What level of discretion do you have in mind?”

Her attention turns once more from pestering someone out of my sight as I air the questions. Once again intrigued with me. “Critical thought is rare in this age. I think I’ll relish this relationship of ours. Smilers in White Chapel sell the most tonics and drugs, possibly Bukke if they can get their hands on it. It's a good place to start.”

“Why would they poison their most expensive product if they can barely get their hands on the supply? Seems pointless.” From my experience with the gang, I assume their priorities would be to maintain control, thus avoiding the gaze of the giants that live above.

“How about you ask them yourself, it’s why I gave you the ring.” 

“Fine-” I look at another note from Russ. “-What’s in it for me?”

She leers at me. “I already let you see the sun, is that not enough?”

Russ shakes his head. 

“No. This is a job, which means I expect payment.”

“This is a favour between friends, which is far more valuable in our city than petty material possessions. As for discretion, do what comes naturally. Just don’t mention the Yorks.”

I nod in agreement as the mist flows back into the ring.

“Politics?” I ask my companion in crime.

“Sounds like it, we’re being used as proxies to move the pieces.” He replies.

“Why do you want a reward?”

“I don’t, but Harpers sharp. If she thinks we’re different in any way from the commoners down here, it may end badly for us. Better to appear as the hungry hand that demands more.”

I see, I’m glad I have Russ to steer me through these murky waters.

Suzie waltzes up to me with as much genuine swagger as a twelve year old can muster, her newly acquired tophat and velvet waistcoat sell her title nicely. The Kid mutters something obscene from the bar as she flips him off, before leaning on the table. “Sounds like we got a new mission then?”

“Yeh, but your lot should stay clear of this one,” I say to Russ’s approval.

Her happy-go-lucky expression dies at my rejection. “You’re kiddin me right?”

“No, I’m not. Half your ‘kids’ used to work for them. Gangs don’t tend to treat those that leave them very nicely.” I try to reason with her.

Russ steps behind me to back my position. “I’d bring you in on any job Suz. But White Chapels turning into a warzone with all these killings. The Smilers are hostile to any that don’t fit the bill and these days-” he indicates to her short stature. “- that’s your lot.”

“Oh piss off you lanky twat.” She snaps but with no real menace in it.

The bastards boo and yell insults at us until several are sent outside to chew on mint leaves with Phil. Their Queen wrangles the rest for another shift to expand the hole. On her way out she loudly claims she never wants to see White Chapel again anyway, before flipping us off and subtly giving us a wink.

I realise the astuteness of that girl at that moment. She never wanted to put her clan in danger, but also didn’t want to show weakness in the face of a challenge. 

“We got played,” I say.

Russ just nods behind ebony smoke before nodding to the stable doors. “Let’s discuss our own play, I have an idea.”