Everything felt numb. 

A cold, lonely darkness surrounded every inch of me. My body bound to itself with what felt like rope.

Tiny droplets slowly falling on my face with each tick of a clock.

That's when I heard the door opening, with a bright light seeping through it. 

A man appeared in front of me. He had dark jet black hair with deep blue eyes devoid of any emotion. His eyes were filled with pure disgust and judgment, but when he came closer, those same eyes turned into a gleaming ball of light and love.

How despicable.

I turned away. After all, that man was the one who did this to me.

How dare he look at me in that manner.

How repulsive.

“Don't turn away from me, Angela” He said as he grabbed my face to make me forcefully look him in the eye.

“I did all of this because I love you. You believe me, right?”

What a fucking sicko.

“yeah..I do...” I responded. Holding back every inch of myself to curse this bastard.

“Good girl, Angela” He whispered in my ear as he gave me a kiss on the forehead.

Soon After he did, he then said his goodbyes and left. The light also leaving the room with him.

How much longer would I have to stay in this hell hole until I one day rot in this place? Whether it's by his hands or by insanity.

What if I don't remember who I am one day and go crazy? I know its fucking insane to say, but the thought still lingers. How long will it be until I snap because of this bastard? The more I spend time with him, the more my hatred for him grows and grows day by day. 

I pray that if I ever get rescued, that I'll be myself.

That I am not Angela. That I am not a girl. I am not young and petite and have manners. I am Emilio. I am a guy that's rough and harsh, that's 26, and doesn't care if you get offended or insulted.

I hope to remember who I am at that point in time.

And that's assuming that I ever will get rescued.

 

(6/21/2015)

It's been a few months since I began working at Cafe Sunshine. We get a pretty decent amount of customers although it's not very well known around town, which is pretty good considering that I make a handful of cash when I dress like a girl, but I also made a few friends working here.

The first one is Maggy. She's your typical double sided happy go lucky chick  that is mostly good at attracting male customers for her “innocence.” The reason I put that in quotations is because she sometimes be saying the most vile things in the most random times. 

Next is Kendrick and- ah shit I gotta go. Bryley’s calling. I’ll finish this journal talk later.

 

“Emilio, haven't you been hearing me calling you for the past minute?!” 

“Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

“Sorry isn't gonna cut it. You think you are so entitled to doing whatever you want just because you earn more tips than any of us.” Bryley said with her arms crossed and her greasy hair tied into a bun.

“You're not special, honey. Wait a few years and that face is gonna rot just like your family dissolved your guys' relationship.” She whispered in my ear as she smirked and walked away.

“Bryley’s a bitch huh?” Maggy said as she began dragging me to come serve customers.

“Yeah, but I can't help that people get jealous because of how I look..” I said with a wink and smile.

Maggy then side eyed me with a disgusted look as she started finishing up a customers order. 

“That attitude is what causes others not to like you. Just try not be so narcissistic at times”

“Is it that much of a crime for being so hot?”

“No, it's a crime to be self absorbed. Still though, Bryley is a bitch and will pretty much hate anyone so…”

“With that, ill agree”

“Plus, Emilio, we also get more orders when you crossdress, so it's a win-win.”

“See? Not only do my looks help me, but they also help others~ aren't I generous?”

Maggy looked at me as she slightly cringed, “Yeah, yeah, you're generous alright, now go and get some orders before I change my mind.”

Maggy is so fun to mess with. Although, yeah, I'll agree, I am a bit narcissistic, but it adds to my personality. 

As I was giggling to myself about my interaction with Maggy, a tall handsome man appeared.

I began to take his order as I would with any other customer, but something felt…different. Like a gut feeling piercing my stomach. It was as if my inner voice was telling me to not take his order. To ignore him. To not talk to him. To take the day off. Whatever I do, Do not interact with him…

…

…

I ignored this feeling and took his order anyway.

It was near the end of my shift. Me and Maggy made some plans to go to a club later on in the day, and I agreed. I went to my apartment in a haste and put on a black top and a very short mini skirt. I then put on some heavy makeup to bring out my features and some black heels. I was all ready to go.

I began walking to the club which was a few blocks from my home,  and then I saw Maggy. She was wearing a Dark blue mini dress with white sparkling heels. She looked so cute in it.

"Damn you look good, girl" 

"Thanks! you also look good." She said as she began taking pictures with me and posing.

“Hey, but like, did you see the guy you were taking the order of?” Maggy said as she slightly giggled.

“Yeah what about him?”

“He was so hot, oh my gosh. How could you not notice his face?!”

“Well, unlike you, Maggy, I’m not absorbed in a persons looks~” I smirked.

“Oh shut up, you’re one to talk!” She said as we both began laughing.

As we started walking in the club though, I felt another surge of shock going through my body. I felt like I shouldn't have come here. It was like my body was trying to warn me, but I once again shook off that feeling and began partying and drinking my heart away.

A few hours passed and it was already 2:00 A.M.

I was feeling a bit woozy and even got hit on a few times, but let's just say most didn't stick around once they heard my voice, while others just didn't get the hint.

I felt like I didn't want to stick around anymore, so I tried to find Maggy so we could get out, but that's when I found her making out with a guy. She then stopped when she looked up and realized it was me and asked the guy if they could finish later. 

“What happened, Emilio?”

“I'm kinda getting bored, so can we leave?” I said as I started side eyeing the guy she was making out with.

“Well, I kind of have something going on right now, so maybe later? Or you can leave by yourself too, I don't mind”

“Alright, I'll leave by myself. Tell me all the details later too, alright?” I said as I winked at her "just don't go too far without protection~"

“Oh, shut up!” she said as she began to laugh and playfully hit me.

“Fine, fine, I'll go!” I then pushed her onto the guy and speed walked away, snickering at the earful that i'll soon receive.

The minute I stepped out, the changes in temperatures began to immediately hit. It was pretty cold outside. I kinda wished that I had brought a jacket with me, but I'll live.

After walking a few steps, I sat down on the ground since my feet began to hurt due to my heels. I then began to get my phone from my pocket and began scrolling through my gallery. Personally, I find the media a bit boring, so ill just use the gallery for the sake of it.

There were pictures of my siblings, cousins, even my father. There's one thing that Bryley did get right though. My family did dissolve our relationship, but it was my fault. Every day I regret it. 

Tears began to form in my eyes, but I held them back. After all, a man should never cry, even when he's at his lowest.

I put my phone away in my mini skirt pocket.

Yeah I kind of regret using it.

Those photos bring so many memories of happiness which soon turned into pain, yet I still can't bring myself to delete them. No matter how much it hurts.

I then got up and kept on walking and walking for what seemed like hours, until I noticed a lean figure a few steps behind me. Even if red lights started beeping in my head, I paid no attention to it and started making excuses.

Maybe I was overreacting and they were walking alone at 2:00 am in the morning because they are also coming from the club alone.

Yeah

No big deal.

I began walking faster to my apartment and quickly made a wrong turn and hid behind a dumpster. After all, no one can ever be too sure.

Sure enough, the person went the same direction and began to look around when they saw I had disappeared.

I was being followed.

Panic began to swell up in my throat as more tears began to slowly form in my eyes.

What was gonna happen.

I covered my mouth with my hands in case I released any sounds.

I'm scared.

I'm trapped.

I don't know what to do.

That's when the person began to make a call for a few minutes and left.

After a few seconds of hearing nothing, I then uncovered my mouth and gasped for breath.

I wiped my tears with my hand and took off my heels as I bolted to my apartment.

I'm not very athletic, so i did not run very fast, but i still went as hard as i could into the building and up to my room.

I closed the door in a haste and locked it.

My back then faced the door as I slowly slid down. I began to recollect myself from what had happened and took in deep breaths.

It's okay.

It's finally over.

You're okay.

Everythings okay.

Nothing will happen to you.

After telling myself these affirmations I then went to my room and laid on my bed, still shocked by what had happened.

Just as I was about to fall asleep from the panic, I then smelled something.

It was a very peculiar scent. Almost as if something was rotten. 

No.. it was worse than that. Its the most atrocious thing I had ever smelled. Even taking a whiff in was enough to make me wanna gag.

I couldn't sleep with that smell, so I began trying to locate where it was coming from.

That's when I felt a stronger wave of shock course through my body. I had to leave. My gut feeling was telling me to leave the minute I realized the smell was coming from my closet…but…my curiosity was killing me.

I opened my closet door.

Only to realize Maggy’s dead corpse hanging from the secluded room’s ceiling.

My voice began to tremble.

I couldn't even scream

I then grabbed her hand only to flinch from the deathly coldness of her pasty white skin.

All I could do was look at her.

All i could do was look at her dead hanging body that I didn't even realize the man with a grin standing right behind me.