“What the hell were you doing?” Viktor shouted at me.

His veins were pulsing, and he looked absolutely infuriated. His appearance reminded me of the night he killed Eponine; however, on this occasion, his ire was directed at me. I found myself wondering what it would be like if he would kill me. I knew that he wouldn’t, but perhaps, I would have been better off if he did. Perhaps, I would have been better off if he had just allowed Eponine to kill me.

“What did I do wrong? Try to get my husband to fuck me?” I questioned him.

I could feel myself growing more and more irate by the second. We were both clothed at this point, and Fiona had left the cabin.

“Do you have any inkling the kind of trouble we could find ourselves in should I bite you again?” he spat at me.

“How would anyone find out, unless you were to tell them? Besides, you could have used a gag...”

He stepped right up to me, invading my space. Even though I was infuriated, I welcomed it; I wanted to be close to him, to smell him.

“Listen to me, and listen to me well.” He stepped even closer to me, placing his lips near my ear. “I don’t want to bite you,” he said to me.

“Liar,” I hissed.

“The animal in me wants to, but the rational part of me does not. So stop pushing me, Lucy,” he snarled at me.

“I hate you,” I blurted out. So strong was my anger towards him at that moment that it just came out. Once it started, however, it was difficult to stop. “I hate you so much! You took me away from my family in England, married me to use me, and then turned me into a vampire—an outcast at that! I’ve been nothing but miserable since we married!” Tears were streaming down my face and I felt like I could barely catch my breath.

At that moment, Viktor's eyes glazed over and his jaw slackened. His shoulders sagged as a look of deep hurt crept across his face. My words had cut him deep, but I didn’t want to take them back.

His next words were soft, and I could hear them clearly.

“You’re right.”

I knew that I was. Still, I wasn't expecting him to admit it so readily.

“We should leave,” he said all of a sudden, holding my gaze. “Tonight. I do not wish to be here anymore.”

My heart sank at his words. I had no idea why he wanted to leave, or where we would even go. Baba and Raoul were both taken aback by Viktor’s sudden declaration when he told them, their eyes wide with confusion.

Baba stepped forward and placed her hands on her hips, her voice commanding and clear in the silent cabin. “What is going through your head right now? Why do you want to leave? You can’t just up and go like this!”

Raoul chimed in as well, his voice firm as he shook his head slowly. “You don’t know what kind of danger awaits you out there—you shouldn’t be so foolish! Let us all stay here for the night and discuss this rationally.”

Viktor remained stone-faced as he considered their words for a moment before turning away from them both. His expression was unreadable, but it was clear that he had made up his mind about something important—he was not about to change it. He glanced back over at me with an intensity that made my heart jump into my throat, my anger and love and hatred for this man bundled together in one unpleasant package. I hated him, but God, I loved him.

We gathered our things, and went to exit the cabin, but not before Raoul and Baba attempted to stop us one last time.

“You should stay the night,” she insisted. “Please, I will worry if you don’t.”

“We’ll be all right,” Viktor repeated. “We will. Don’t worry, Babushka.”

Baba sighed, and Raoul frowned. “Okay,” she said. “Come by one of my clubs if you ever need me.”

“Thank you,” Viktor and I said simultaneously.

With that, we left the cabin and set off on our journey.

***

As Viktor and I travelled, we did so mute. Neither spoke unless it was absolutely necessary, and I was of the belief that it was shame and remorse that quieted him. As for me, I was still boiling with confliction.

“We need to find shelter before the sun rises,” he told me.

I thought that it might have been better to stand in the sun and die, but I chose not to say that.

“All right,” was all I said to him.

We soon found a cave to stay in, where we sat in silence until sunrise.

“We should go hunting tomorrow,” he said to me softly. It appeared to me that he was still feeling remorseful.

“I do not wish to,” I said to him.

I did not wish to go anywhere with him. I would have much rather stayed by myself; in fact, I would have much rather seen my sisters or my father. But how would I be able to explain why I could not expose myself to the light of the sun? How could I get around it? I wondered if I should tell them that I was a vampire. If I did, would they fear me? Would my own family, which I had sacrificed so much for, shun me? I couldn't bear the thought of my sisters never speaking to me again... Damn you, Viktor! Damn you for ruining me, for taking everything from me.

“Are you all right?” he asked me gently.

“Yes,” I lied, before pursing my lips in a thin line.

He didn’t ask me anything else and we went to sleep.

We wandered through the forest and towards the mountains for days. Moving only at night, we found caves in which to stay during the day, so that we wouldn’t be exposed to the sunlight that could kill us. Viktor had a vague plan about having someone get him some money that we could use to escape the country, but he didn't discuss any details with me and I didn't even want to talk to him. The further and further into our journey we went, the more uncomfortable it became between us. We barely spoke.

Sometimes, when Viktor left to hunt and collect some blood for me, annoyingly, I found that I missed him. I wanted him to come back, to be near me. My conflicting feelings towards this man were maddening in and of themselves.

“I hate this,” I muttered, thinking of him. What he was doing, whom he was drinking from, whom he was fucking. I felt both immense jealousy and intense arousal at the thought.

Before I could think too long and hard about my actions, I found myself slipping one hand into my pussy. I pressed against my clitoris, rubbing it firmly, almost harshly. It was as if I was releasing my anger towards Viktor on my own body. Before I could get too far, I heard footsteps at the entrance of the cave. Opening my eyes, I quickly yanked my hand out of my wetness as Viktor approached.

I shouldn’t have had to feel awkward about masturbating in front of my husband. It wasn’t fair.

He came over to me.

“Here,” he said stiffly, handing me a glass bottle. “Drink it. All of it.” I did as he said. He made no comment on what he had caught me doing moments earlier, and neither did I.

The blood tasted mediocre, not like when I drank from a human. It wasn’t good, and three days later, I knew that soon, I would need to feed directly from a human, as I was growing weak.

But I still refused to go hunting with him. I was scared of what that might mean, for me and for others. I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I also didn't want to be with Viktor and felt like he owed me, so he should take care of me. The next day, when he brought me blood once more, I did not finish the blood that he gave me, as I became too full to consume it all, yet I was still dissatisfied.

The following day, once again, I stayed while he left. I didn’t want to feed with him again, but I knew that it was inevitable...  It was then that I first noticed that I had a slight fever. My body trembled, I felt weak, my head hurt, and it was hard to concentrate on anything. I knew that it was only a matter of time before the fever would get worse, and yet still Viktor did not come back.

My heart began to soften towards him as I remembered the first night we spent together; and I listened for his return. My heart fluttered slightly when I heard him step into the cave, but as soon as I saw his face, I knew that something was wrong.

I got up and went over to him, observing the look of pain on his features, the manner in which his gait was off. His face looked even paler than his usual porcelain, which was not good, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, looking him over. That was when I saw it.

There was a dagger sticking out of his chest.