Trigger Warning!!: sexual violence and suicide references

Behind the wooden screen, I cautiously removed my bridal gown. The cold air nipped at my skin, making me shiver as I stepped out from behind the screen. I found King Arthur waiting, his naked form a daunting sight. His eyes darkened with lust, and he began stroking his shaft vigorously the moment he laid eyes on me.

"Get in the bed and remove your undergarments," he commanded, his voice low and threatening.

My heart raced, and my hands trembled as dread filled me. Hesitating, I could not bring myself to obey his order. Arthur's patience wore thin, and with his brutal strength, he tore my undergarments away, leaving me completely exposed and vulnerable.

"Please, don't," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

"Silence!" he growled, biting into my flesh painfully as he buried his fingers into my sensitive breasts and backside.

As I gritted my teeth against the pain, I felt a hot tear slide down my cheek. The unbearable reality of my situation settled over me; there was no escaping this man whom I detested so deeply. He pushed me onto the bed and forced himself on top of me, his weight crushing me beneath him. Then, Arthur brutally penetrated me without another word.

"Stop, please... it hurts!" I cried out, struggling to remain indifferent.

"Guinevere, you will submit!" Arthur snarled, continuing to thrust into me mercilessly.

I fought back as much as I could, but the more I resisted, the more forceful he became. My heart ached, and my body screamed for relief, but there was nothing I could do. Realising there was no use in trying to fight him, I forced myself to go limp, steeling my resolve to endure his rough thrusts.

"Look at me," Arthur demanded, his voice laced with cruel satisfaction.

I refused to meet his gaze, instead focusing on the ceiling above us. I willed myself to be anywhere but here, trapped beneath this monster of a man. My heart longed for someone who would treat me with tenderness and respect, even though I knew I could never experience true love.

"Guinevere," Arthur growled again, frustrated by my lack of response.

"Leave me alone!" I snapped, unable to contain my anger any longer.

"Fine!," he snarled, rolling off me.

The moment his grip faded, I felt the warm blood trickle down my thighs and I fought fiercely to hold back the tears.

"Is this all you can do?" Arthur slammed his fist against the bedpost, his face contorted with rage. "You lie there like a cold fish, without so much as a whimper of pleasure? Show me some desire, woman!"

I shut my eyes tight, praying for this torment to end. My heart screamed that I could never desire him, but I bit my lip, unwilling to let him see my true feelings.

"Answer me, Guinevere!" he bellowed, grabbing my arm with bruising force.

"Please," I whispered, trembling under his grip. "I... I can't."

"Can't or won't?" His voice was venomous, and before I knew it, his hand connected with my cheek, sending a shock of pain through my body.

"Arthur, please, stop—" I begged, but he didn't relent. He struck me again, harder this time, the sound echoing through the chamber. Tears streamed down my face as he continued to beat me, each blow more vicious than the last.

Each slap hit like a whip, the sharp sting of his fingers digging into my flesh. My heart was beating so loudly that my ears buzzed. The taste of my own blood filled my mouth and dripped from my weary skin, staining the bedsheets crimson. The stink of sweat and blood mixed together made me want to vomit.

I could stand the pain... but I could not stand the look of satisfaction on his face to see me at his mercy.

"Learn your place!" Arthur grunted, finally releasing me. I crumpled onto the bed, sobbing in agony as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

***

Bruised and battered, I forced myself to rise from the bed, my legs barely able to support me. I stumbled slowly to the wardrobe and rummaged through it, eventually finding a nightgown. I dragged it over my head with trembling hands. Too shaken to stay in that room any longer, I made my way out of the chamber and down the hallway.

The castle's stone walls seemed to close in around me as I wandered aimlessly, desperately seeking solace in the darkness of the castle's corridors.

"Someone, please help me," I wept, my voice barely audible.

As I stumbled through the corridors, I couldn't help but feel the weight of my despair, crushing me with every step. My heart ached for the life I had been forced to abandon and the love I could never have. My own desires meant nothing; my duty was to protect Avalon, even if it meant sacrificing my happiness and enduring Arthur's cruelty.

"Is this to be my fate?" I thought bitterly, my weeps echoing through the empty halls. "To suffer in silence while the man I abhor takes pleasure from my pain? How many years before he breaks me?"

The cold stone under my feet offered no comfort as I continued to wander the castle, my once vibrant spirit now a mere whisper. The wind howled outside, matching the turmoil within my soul. Desperate for an escape from the darkness that consumed me, I found myself on a balcony overlooking the vast patio below. The moonlight bathed the gardens in a silver glow, casting ethereal shadows that seemed to beckon me towards the edge.

"Perhaps this is my only way out," I thought, my gaze fixed on the ground far below. An overwhelming sense of despair washed over me as I stepped closer, the wind whipping at my hair and tearing at my clothes. My hands shook as I grabbed the freezing stone railing and hoisted myself up, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

Memories of the two years I had spent fighting against King Arthur's troops came flooding back to me. The sounds of battle suddenly filled my ears —the thundering clang of swords clashing against shields, the screams of fae and men in agony, and the roar of flames consuming everything they touched. I remembered how my father, King Garlin, had led our army with courage and conviction. Tears of grief welled up in my eyes as I recalled the day Arthur killed him in combat... I thought about my father and all the good qualities he possessed—his kindness and generosity that made him beloved by so many people. The pain of losing him was still so fresh in my mind; the grief that consumed my mother when she heard the news was like nothing I'd ever seen before. The image of his lifeless body still haunted me; no matter how many times I tried to push it away. When I found him, his body was covered in a thick layer of dust and dirt, and blood soaked his armour. His once proud and noble face was now turned towards the sky, his eyes frozen in a death glare that pierced my soul. I was too late to save him.

"Would it be so terrible to let go?" I questioned myself, tears streaming down my face. As my foot hovered over the edge, a gust of wind seemed to push me forward, and in that moment, I let myself go...