Having spent a good forty-five minutes trapped in a closet with one of the city’s most vain heroes glaring at me you’d think I’d be able to handle awkward situations, mused Kyle to himself. But this, I don’t think there is anything in the world that could prepare me for this.

 Looking over at the blonde-haired women glaring at him from across the table, he desperately found himself wishing he was stuck back in the closet again; at least there he was able to come up with some witty one-liners. Instead, every time he tried to open his mouth to say something he found his brain short circuiting with the resulting fire only fuelling the anxiety and dread that had been welling within him for the past five hours. Sure, he could have in theory picked a better restaurant than this, and maybe it would have been smart to dress a bit nicer, but it wasn’t his fault he’d gotten distracted while reviewing the footage and found himself sketching out plans for a better deflector! Ok it could be rightfully argued that he had been warned about this date days in advance, and it was likely that he could have just prepared himself some clothes before and make sure he arrived on time, but the date was going to go badly no matter what he did, so why even bother right? Before he could even fabricate a response, the sound of snapping fingers brought him back to reality, and he unexpectedly found himself looking right into the now visibly annoyed woman sitting opposite to him.

“Look, I’m just going to be blunt. I don’t want to be here, you don’t seem to either, can we just cut out all the small talk and pleasantries and both go our separate ways?”

As his mind tried to formulate a response his mouth could only form the word “Ugh?”

“You seem like a nice guy, you really do, but how do I put this bluntly? I mostly bat for the other team. I don’t really know why Amber thought we’d be a good match, you are kinda cute in an androgynous kind of way but I think it’s safe to say this will go nowhere”.

Before he could properly formulate a response, Kyle found his mouth had decided enough was enough and it was time to step in.

“I totally understand; I mean women are pretty awesome, hell sometimes I wish I was born one” he found himself saying with a wistful sigh.

Realising what he just said his brain overruled his mouth and chimed in “Not that I’m trans or anything like that! I mean there’s nothing wrong with that, my friend is non binary, and they are awesome, I just don’t really qualify for it. Anyway, I fully get why you’d rather date women, hell my last three girlfriends were lesbians; women are just that much nicer to date. And..um…yeah anyway I’ll handle the bill don’t worry, sorry for ruining your night.”

As he found himself finally getting lost for words, he felt a pair of eyes drilling into him quizzically, and the more primal part of his brain started a petition urging him to run, social contract be damned. Having reached the signature limit, his brain adopted the motion and right as he started to pull himself up, he felt a hand wrap around his arms like a vice, pulling him back down, followed by a much softer voice.

“Ok, breathe, please. You look like you’re about to have a heart attack, and you’re acting like if you say the wrong thing, I’m going to turn you into ash or something. I don’t want us to cause a scene, so if you can look me in the eyes, and follow my breathing” she whispered.

“Breathe in, one, two three”

“Breathe out”

“Again, breathe in, one two three”

“Breathe out”

As the rising tide of anxiety started to recede, Kyle found himself able to finally look at the woman opposite him, and where previously there had been etched an angry glare, there was now only a look of genuine concern. Trying to compose himself, he feigned brushing some crumbs off his shirt, before turning to the woman opposite to him and giving her a watery smile. “Thanks Heather, I’m genuinely sorry about all this. Like I offered, I’ll handle the bill, and after we walk out, I won’t bother you again.”

To his shock, his request was greeted with an eye roll followed by an annoyed sigh “Why do people like you always try handle everything on your own? Even though this is hands down one of the worst dates I’ve ever had” Kylle found himself wincing slightly at those words “You’re Binder’s friend, and Amber cares about them, so for both their sakes I’m going to at least walk you home.”

“But but you’re the woman! I’m supposed to walk you home!” protested Kyle, and he instantly found himself regretting those words as the glare that followed felt almost as furious as the one, he’d been dealing with less than twenty-four hours ago. “I’m a big girl Kyle, and trust me when I say anyone who tries to fuck with me will regret it” she replied darkly.

Before he could even start to probe the implications of that sentence, the waiter appeared with the cheque in that mystical way only food servers seem to learn, and during the time it took him to draw out his wallet, he found Heathers half of the bill covered. A rather tiny part of his mind quipped that her purse was rather cute, but before the idea could even start to plant roots, it was very quickly smashed by the rational part of his mind that pointed out that men could not own purses. With the side thought pushed away and the remainder of the money owed added, he found himself leading the seemingly protective woman to his house.

Under the moonlight he finally found himself able to finally look over Heather properly and felt a rather unusual feeling well up inside him. Standing just a hair shorter than him, he noticed that the button up navy dress that she wore perfectly accented her curves, while the rather messy ponytail she had gave the impression that despite looking formal, she wasn’t super invested in her look. When paired with her converse, she was rocking a casual but still formal look, that made her entire look appear almost easy. Hell, even her make-up loo-.

Once again, his train of thought was interrupted, this time with a gentle punch to the shoulder.

“Do you do that a lot?” she asked with a hint of curiosity betraying the concerned look on her face.

“Do what?” came the unsure reply.

“Zone out. You looked like you were lost in a dreamland for a minute there.”

“Oh. Sometimes, I think…” He said nervously scratching the back of his neck. “It just kinda happens. I start thinking about something, and it’s like a thread which I follow and before I know it I go from ‘Oh that dog looks cute’ to ‘You know werewolves get a bad rap for much of history despite being really cool!’. I’ve always been like this, and I learnt to live with it, but it’s gotten me in trouble a few times” he commented with a dry chuckle.

“I understand don’t worry” replied Heather reassuringly. “I mean I don’t fully get it; my brain doesn’t go to that depth, but I often I feel like I have 3-4 thoughts in my head at once and trying to prioritise one feels like a struggle. Unless it’s something I enjoy” she added as an afterthought.

The walk settled into a comfy silence, and as they approached his house, Kyle found himself wanting to learn more about this mysterious woman. Trying to work up the courage, as the doorway approached, he found himself barking out “Do you want to get coffee sometime? I know this was a bad date, and I know you’re not interested in me, but you seem cool and I want to get to know you better and maybe be your friend if you want to! If not, I fully understand but it would be really cool if you wanted to hang out again.”

The shocked look on her face made his heart sink, and the familiar drumbeat of thoughts reminding him that he was worthless and there is no way a woman like her would be interested in a guy like him even as a friend started their encore for the night.

“You know what forg-“

“Yes. I’m free this Saturday, now would you mind giving me your phone?”

“My phone?”

“You’re going to need my number if you want to actually send me the details of where you want us to meet up.”

“Oh right” he mumbled his brain unexpectedly silent at the turn of events.

“Here you go, take care Kyle” she said returning his phone before turning around and heading off into the darkness.