After her [Stone] spell plinked off of the goretusk’s head, a single thought came to Lily’s mind.

‘Why did I do that?’

… Of course, that thought was actually very loudly expressed through terrified screams, so it was a bit more like——

“WHY DID I DO THAAAAAAA--”

——But that’s besides the point.

———

Although sickly and frequently bedridden, ‘Lily’—or rather, Maria—had never felt frustrated by these circumstances. Surrounded by loving parents and doting servants, she was never inconvenienced more than momentarily, despite how frequently she struggled with daily activities; perhaps because of this environment, Maria came to terms with her body’s frailty quite easily.

Gently, comfortably—nurtured in ideal conditions, like a greenhouse flower.

Maria didn't mind living as she did. Her parents, too, didn't mind caring for her; even so, they hoped for her to experience more that life had to offer. Thus, they introduced her to the world of NSOL, where she would be free of her bodily restraints.

… Conceivably, actually entering that world was quite a shock to the poor girl (the words “A BRAND! NEW! WORLD!” still echo in her mind), especially given that she had basically no experience with strangers and was theretofore unexposed to internet culture.

In that regard, Gen and Louis were surprisingly compatible with Lily. The two were definitely a bit… quirky, as far as people went, but they were friendly and had enough common sense to not outright scare her away; by those same virtues, they were more than willing to patiently explain the game’s mechanics to her, becoming both her friends and mentors.

Fenris, on the other hand, was… different.

Lily’s first impression of him wasn't bad. Sure—maybe Fenris was a bit curt, scary-looking, hard to read, and he did get pretty intense when he focused, but…

'... Fen is kind of scary, after all.’ 

Despite thinking that, Lily wasn’t actually particularly frightened of him. For every part of him that Lily found unfamiliar and frightening, there was another that felt strangely grounded. He was scary, but kind; intense, but airheaded; expressionless, but often with his feelings on full display.

In a way, Lily admired how unrestrained Fenris was; at the same time, she also envied him. 

There was an odd twinge inside of Lily’s chest as she watched Fenris fight the guildmaster, suddenly aware of the fundamental difference between him and herself:

She was simply… weak.

Of course, she knew that even before she had met Fenris—but the stark contrast between them stung more than she’d expected.

‘I could never do something like that.’

Yes, her real life body was weak—but at level one, their stats were supposed to be equal. Why was he faster? Why was he stronger? It wasn't as though Lily wanted to be the strongest or fastest—she was content with slowly learning the game. However, freed of her body's restraints for the first time, Lily realized that her current weakness was no longer “her body’s”—but simply “hers”.

‘I’ll… never be able to do that.’

Frustration—helplessness inflamed by the desire for change… and a feeling that Lily was now awakened to.

And so—why did Lily cast the [Stone]?

In short… she was very slightly pissed.

———

“Lily, what the heck are you doing?!” Louis shouted as Lily dove—more like belly-flopped—out of harm’s way. 

“Gwugh-- I dunno, shaddup!”

After letting out a noise like a squashed frog because of her landing, Lily uncharacteristically snapped back, making Louis recoil in shock. 

She tried shooting more [Stones] at the goretusk as she got back up—but between her unsteady footing and the terrified tears flooding her eyes, none of her shots were quite as accurate as the first. Even so, she kept firing.

With the goretusk now focused on Lily, Louis hastily got to his feet and called out to her.

“Alright—just keep it distracted for a bit longer! I’m going to try and get the others back up!”

“Shaddap!” she shouted back.

‘Why did I do this?’ Shaddap.

‘This is scary.’ Shaddap.

‘I can't do this.’ Shaddap!

For a person about as far from ‘wild’ as one could get, Lily's instincts were sending some very clear messages by this point—but she held onto her fraying nerves by repeating her crude, but effective mantra. It was a firm rejection of her self-doubts, with the unexpected benefit of dispelling her fears and pushing her to keep moving.

Cast. Dive. Stand back up.

Lily’s breathing had run ragged and her once-white dress was stained with dirt and grass. Her limbs, heavy from exhaustion, struggled to bring Lily back to her feet. Even so—they did.

——Because nothing will change if I don't.

——Because I want to be able to rely on myself.

The goretusk charged again.

“I… don't want to be weak anymore!” Staring straight back at it, Lily thrust her staff forwards as though challenging the beast and cast a different spell.

“[Earth]!”

The ground warped as though liquefied, suddenly protruding and solidifying into a thick dirt wall between Lily and the goretusk. The wall was pulverized as the goretusk collided with it—but blinded by the resulting dust cloud, it was unable to react to Lily, who burst through the debris to bring her staff down on the goretusk’s head——!

*donk* [1 damage]

There was a brief pause.

“... Lily, what the heck are you doing…” Louis said, dumbfounded.

“... Shaddap,” she sobbed as the goretusk glared at her.

———

(EXTRA:)

“Gen, come on… Wake up already…!” Louis shook Gen's shoulder.

“Mmm…. Five more minutes…”

“WHADDYA MEAN FIVE MORE--"

This may or may not have happened…

———

Spoiler

wimbledon

This chapter got delayed since I didn't actually plan on what Lily's character was going to be, so writing this was a bit hard.

... Work is also kicking my butt.

... And I'm sick again.

Blegh.

[collapse]