Chapter Six: Floor 332
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47 hours and 44 minutes remaining.

ZM-11833 had done the math, with 179 floors to climb in 48 hours, they had to ascend 3.729166666666667 floors per hour if they wanted to escape. It was doable for a machine, perhaps even for a human, however that was without taking into account any delays.

One such delay was floor 332, it was currently packed full of rabid ‘aliens’, ZM-11833 rolled their eyes at Anaya’s childishness, they couldn’t believe their human still thought that aliens existed. What next? Robot Santa?

In ZM-11833 calculations they needed to cross each floor in 16.08938547486033 minutes in order to not die in nuclear fire. An unlikely occurrence but a hopeful Anaya was a happy Anaya.

Sneaking past would be too slow. ZM-11833 needed to get Anaya across the atrium as fast and safely as possible, luckily ZM-11833 was super smart and had a genius idea.

They had noticed that near the atrium stairwell entrance was a small grocery store and inside that shop were two things that would make their path across the floor viable. An unladen shopping trolley and a loaded shotgun.

The shotgun was a high tech, magnetically accelerated rifle that used an inbuilt battery to send solid projectile slugs of lead hurtling down range. The previous owner, an arcology security guard from the ID, had left it lying about still attached to their detached hand. ZM-11833 wondered if they needed that?

ZM-11833 pried off the bodiless hand and inspected the gun, it was DNA locked unfortunately, the arcology took their security seriously. However it wasn’t much of a challenge to ZM-11833 as they were able to easily hack the lock and transfer the DNA match to Anaya’s arcology records, ZM-11833 had collected some hair samples from Anaya as she slept, for their own profiles.

Checking the ammo counter that was a part of the gun, revealed that it only had 12 cartridges remaining, it would have to be enough. There was no time to look for more ammo, they had to go and go now.

Once the lock was set to Anaya they gifted the weapon to their human. ZM-11833 then gently picked up Anaya and placed her securely into the heroic shopping cart. Gripping the handle firmly they began moving towards the milling crowd. 14 minutes left.

“Wait! This is your plan?!! It sucks! We’re going to die!” Anaya was always being so negative lately, this was the fastest way and not at all because it seemed fun to ZM-11833.

The trolley squeaked along the polished floors instantly drawing the attention of the inhabitants of the atrium, they snarled and bit at the air, sizzling drools spilling onto the floor from salivating serrated snouts.

On they came, charging the fearless war wagon as it squeaked its way towards ascending freedom, like a tidal wave of grossness.

“Fire when ready private Anaya” Second Lieutenant ZM-11833 ordered their new adorable recruit as the pair charged headlong into the glorious battle of 332 pass, the cavalry thundering heavily into the fray.

The whine and subsequent bark of the rail-gun echoed in the desolate hall, devoid of friendly faces. The oncoming foe lost their own face in a gory explosion of violence, 11 shots remained in their entire arsenal.

More and more came to stop their heroic charge, those that approached the front line died to private Anaya’s surprisingly accurate shots, 8 shots remained now, and those that came for First Lieutenant ZM-11833 were met with a swift backhand that broke bones with a sickening crack.

Squeak squeak squeak went the dashing steed, past falling friend and foe alike, through the messy battle lines they continued. Past the fortified trenches and makeshift barricades of battles fought in times past. Mud and blood as far as an electronic eye could see.

Captain ZM-11833 grimaced as an acrid scent swirled past their sensors, “gas gas gas”, they held their electronic breath as they hurried past a wrecked perfume store. Private Anaya choked in the cloying smell, no mask to shield themselves.

Of course their enemies would use chemical warfare, the foul filthy fiends!

5 shots now remained. The reckless war-machine crashed in the chaos into an oncoming soldier before private Anaya could fire, she was launched from her seat, spilling forth into the gristly melee.

Major ZM-11833 saluted the fallen heroic tank, who was only two days from retirement, never again would they see their child trolleys.

Lieutenant Colonel ZM-11833 bravely picked up the insensate private Anaya, slinging them over their shoulder and away from the rushing villains.

The pair were stuck deep in no man's land, the watery mud filled craters around them, barbed wire created a rusted maze blocking their way forward.

Bravely and daringly Brigadier General ZM-11833 sortied forth, crushing wire underfoot, and headed for enemy lines, they trusted private Anaya to cover their cute rear.

Again and again the wicked soldiers assaulted their battle lines, but they pressed onward. Only two shots remained now, perhaps for themselves?

Major General ZM-11833 ducked and weaved through the melee, breaking knees and smashing spines as they went, keeping desperately free of the snatching hands and snapping jaws.

The glowing exit loomed ahead but it was blocked by the largest soldier they had ever seen, towering twice the size of the regulars, it snarled at the approaching one robot and one human army.

Lieutenant ZM-11833 wasn’t scared, they had braved the horrors of floor 331 and its lack of cleanliness to rescue private Anaya from her lack of fashion sense, this would be nothing.

“Don’t falter now men, charge them, show these dogs of war the bravery of the fashionable robotic army!” The battle cry of the robotic nation reverberated deeply in the hearts and minds of all those who beheld it.

“What the fuck are you on about now!” Private Anaya complained loudly, showing precisely why she hadn’t made private first class yet while ZM-11833 had already made General.

Spinning around they showed poor cute Anaya the foul foe they had found, walking backwards was easy for any bot to do. The swearing of the lower ranks was accompanied by two sharp blasts, the gun was all empty now.

Spinning back around, General of the Army ZM-11833 took the now useless gun from the private’s hands and clubbed the reeling enemy upside the head, its head giving way with a squelch.

The path forwards was clear now and they pressed onward and up the stairs. 1 minute remained on this floor, just making it before the buzzer.

The white knight known as ZM-11833 beamed at Anaya who lay panting on the floor, which wasn’t a good sign considering how far they had to go still.

“Come along now my delicate beauty, we have so far to go. Upwards to the top, like I promised” ZM-11833 giggled to herself, her lie was the best. They watched as Anaya forced herself to her feet, gulping air.

Up they went to floor 333, ZM-11833 home. They lamented the fact they wouldn’t be able to stop by and see MA-773 who was up in the nail salon, there was no time to convince them to escape together. ZM-11833 just had to harden their robotic heart.

Floor 333 was as peaceful and mostly clean as they remembered it, all the customers were gone but so were the unwanted ones too.

They passed by ZM-11833’s shop, they had to force themselves to move on, ignoring the flare of rage as they saw ZM-12488 had taken their place in the shop front. They swore they saw a smirk on the conniving bot's face, and they would know as all the ZM-10000 models all had the same face. ZM-11833’s was more beautiful though.

On they pressed to the stairwell up time ticked on the clock as they raced against time.

ZM-11833 doubled back heading towards a fancy restaurant, sitting innocently on a dining table was a bottle of triple distilled ultra pure vodka. Grabbing the colorful bottle and ripping a strip of cloth from the tablecloth, ZM-11833 constructed a Molotov cocktail. After lighting it on one of the romantic candles they rushed back to their home and tossed the now flaming weapon into ZM-12488’s dumb face.

The bottle burst apart in a shower of glass and alcohol, sending flames flying everywhere inside the store and onto the spot thief. The conflagration caught on the spilled fabrics and ruined drapery igniting the store. ZM-11833 watched gleefully as the annoying co-worker of theirs reeled back into the shop, flailing about on fire.

The sprinkler system activated as ZM-11833 ran for it, doused the shop in a white cloying foam. The form of a scorched fashion robot desperately worked themselves free, emerging from the all encompassing bubbles to angrily shake their robotic fist at the retreating figures.

“What was that all about?” Anaya spoke in annoyance at the delay, losing all the time they had gained.

“They were in my spot” there were some things that couldn’t be tolerated. Spot thieves need to be taught a lesson after all.

“What are you a cat?” Cats had survived the various global catastrophes that had befallen other biological species, perhaps it was because they were cat-astrophes. ZM-11833 wondered what penguins were like before they went extinct or horses, they had seen only pictures.

Whilst ignoring Anaya’s snark they carried on ascending away from their home on floor 333, the birthplace of the dashing fashion bot, this would mark the highest they’d ever gone before.

Floor 334 was a disappointment really, just as shiny as they expected and just as droll, they only made one stop on this floor. Kicking over an annoying assistant bot inside the chiropractor's office. It wasted time but it was worth it to hear CA-332 screeches of fury.

“You really are a robotic cat”

Onward and upward, floor after floor to go, and less and less time to do it in. To ZM-11833 it was fun though, they got to stick it to that annoyance finally. The beeps and whines of an overturned assistant droid fading in the distance.

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