Day 5 - Tuesday

The next morning was filled with the dull ache of a night spent in an awkward position. The warmth of the previous mornings felt entirely absent, and a part of him was glad. A part of him still wanted to indulge in the emotional self-mutilation he’d been enduring the night before, but he knew better than that. He had things to do, and so those thoughts found a nice little box in the back of his head to occupy.

 

He pulled himself free of his blankets with mild annoyance. The delicious sensations of his nails and skin and teeth felt dull compared to the days before. Maybe his body was finally getting used to the tablets. He’d heard that could happen with medication, where a person’s body would start balancing against their medication, functionally neutralizing it.

 

He inspected his nails nonetheless, and a part of him ached at the realisation they were the same as the day before. He should have been glad they’d stopped. They were a problem, even if they felt good, right? He looked at the dispenser and cringed. He’d stolen that. He’d stolen that just like his father stole from all his tenants and investors and anyone else he could. 

 

He promised himself he wouldn’t be bringing it home with him. If he couldn’t give it back to her directly, he’d give it to the school nurse or lost and found. He chastised himself for not doing so the day before as he got into the shower with the light off. He barely even felt it as he showered, it was like he was paying back the delight from the previous days with a total absence of sensation. At least he wasn’t in pain.

 

Breakfast was quiet, neither of them showing any hint of the progress from the day before, and it took a concerted effort for him to give her a hug before he left. There was a hollowness hanging on to both of them that they were all too familiar with. It happened every time his father bothered to actually spend time at home, when they were forced to acknowledge the infernal pact they’d signed in exchange for their comfortable lives.

 

He blinked away the confusion as he found himself sitting down in an uncomfortable chair behind the desk of his first class. He didn’t even remember the trip over. Hopefully he hadn’t gotten in anyone’s way. It took him a moment to remember his reason for arriving early, besides simply having no reason not to. With what little energy he could muster he looked around the room. No Sarah. That was fine, he was over half an hour early.

 

He pulled out the homework from the night before and began double checking it. There wasn’t much, and he’d been incredibly thorough while avoiding his father, but he didn’t really want to do anything more engaging either. It was twenty minutes later when Sarah finally entered the room.

 

He stood up, still somewhat in a daze as he approached her. He knew this would be awkward. He knew this would draw attention to him. He knew nothing good was going to come from this… but he had to do it. One little act of right among all the wrong he was complicit in.

 

“H-hey.” he squeaked out, too quietly for anyone to hear. “Sarah? Can I talk to you for a minute?” His voice managed a more comprehensible volume, but that didn’t seem to help much as Sarah turned to him with a look as if he’d spoken pure gibberish.

 

She seemed unsure of what to say. Apparently his pathetic appearance had undermined her standard responses and left her undecided. Taking the opportunity before too many people began to look at them, he slipped the dispenser from his pocket, just enough for her to catch sight of it, before slipping it back in.

 

He’d expected her to be mad. To yell at him for taking it, but instead she quirked her eyebrow and stood up without a word. He was momentarily stunned as she made her way to the door. Even if she just wanted to yell at him in private things were already going much better than he’d feared.

 

He followed her out into the hall, and then down a couple side halls as she found them a quiet place to talk. It was as they entered an unused classroom that it occurred to him that Sarah could probably snap him in half like a twig. She wasn’t known for being a violent person, but nobody had ever managed to steal her dispenser before. He was beginning to think he’d made a mistake when she finally turned to look at him.

 

Her voice was level as she spoke. “So, I assume that’s mine?” He nodded awkwardly, pulling it out of his pocket and holding it out to her. Her face was impossible to read as she took and inspected it. “Well, congrats on being the first person to get your hands on it. So my question is: Why are you giving it back?”

 

He flushed at the question. It was filled with far too much meaning for him not to. She wasn’t just asking why he was giving it back, she was asking why he wasn’t doing any number of other things with it. Showing it off, bragging about it, keeping it, messing with it. Well, he supposed there was no guarantee he hadn’t messed with it. Still, he assumed that was what the inspection was for.

 

“I… I found it in the woods on my way home.” The words barely scraped free of his throat, a part of him still insisting honesty was a mistake. “I t-tried one of the tablets…” He wasn’t really sure where he was going, or why he was starting off as if he hadn’t downed like two dozen of them, but fortunately Sarah interrupted him. She interrupted him with a barking laugh. That definitely wasn

 

“Ooooh yeah that explains it. Tasted like shit right? I bet nobody would believe you if they saw how easily I down them and what they look like!” Her eyes were sparkling as she pocketed the dispenser, like he’d stumbled in on a great joke he didn’t understand.

 

“What?” The question left his lips before he could think about it. What did she mean they taste like shit? Were those actually not her pills? Had he actually been freaking out over candies the entire time?

 

The confusion on his face seemed to quickly quell Sarah’s amusement. “What do you mean what?” Slowly, she pulled the dispenser back out of her pocket.

 

“W-well… What do you mean they taste like… I… uh… I thought they tasted really good…” The look on her face made him even more concerned. Had he done something wrong?

 

She clicked out a tablet from the dispenser and inspected it for a moment before holding it out to him. “The one you tried looked just like this right? Said D.E.S. instead of P.E.Z?” He nodded, and she frowned, looking him up and down.

 

After a moment she handed him the tablet. “Try this.” His desire to enjoy the delicious treat once more quickly overwhelmed his confusion as he popped it into his mouth, humming softly as he enjoyed the rich flavour of a crisp, juicy apple.

 

“Fuck.”

 

He blinked at her as he let the tablet dissolve. “Alright. Okay. Sure. Fine. I guess this is a thing now.” She offered him the dispenser, only deepening his look of confusion. “Listen, the only reason it’d taste good is if you need them, so take the dispenser, take one whenever it feels right, and don’t make any plans for after school today. We need to go talk to my mom.”

 

He flinched back a bit. “O-oh… uh… yeah. I um… actually… took more than one…” She blinked at him, and he suddenly realised he hadn’t specified what day he’d found the dispenser. “I… I found it on Friday… I’ve, um… probably had like two dozen since then.”

 

Her eyes went wide as she began looking at him more thoroughly. Confusion and concern warred on her face until she finally caught sight of his nails, barely poking out of his sleeves. “Fuck. Okay, yeah. Yeah okay fuck. We’re gonna go talk to my mom after school and she’ll explain everything okay? Just… try and keep everything on the down low until then.”

 

He managed a shaky nod as the five minute warning bell urged an end to their conversation. He was going to get an explanation? That seemed good right? Maybe Sarah’s mom could even help him figure out a way to get more! It was a bit of a stretch, but he wasn’t going to snuff out the little ember of hope. 

 

He just had to make it through the day without causing a scene. A scene like walking into class with Sarah. A scene like walking in with Sarah after having left the room with her. He plopped down into his seat and huddled up in his school branded sweater. He’d be fine, right? Right. Right…

 

Fortunately, no one was stupid enough to pester him during class. Unfortunately, that protection ended the moment the bell rang. He was grateful that they at least had the decency to elect a designated diplomat rather than swarming him, though he did feel mildly insulted that it was clear she had at least partially been chosen for her looks. The way she was leaning forward only furthered the insult, which was thankfully enough to subsume any hint of libido it might have fed on.

 

The conversation was short and frustrating, with the girl, apparently named Amber, spending the majority of it beating around the bush like she was being paid by the minute. She didn’t even actually get to the real question before he was able to get his stuff together and insist he had to get to his next class.

 

Things only got worse as he made his way there however. He could feel people looking at him, murmurs of what had happened already spreading through the school like a plague. There was no way he’d make it through lunch at the rate things were going.

 

His second class was mercifully engaging, but he could already tell his classmates were working out their plans of approach. As much as he hated to admit it, his sweater stood out too much. He had heard people in the halls mention it as he passed, so it was likely being used as a reference point. It made sense, he didn’t really have any other notable characteristics… besides his nails. But thankfully he’d been able to avoid his nails catching much attention… partially thanks to his sweater. He sighed internally. What a mess.

 

He was packed up and out the door the moment class ended. He hated the idea of going around without his sweater, but he definitely hated the attention it was bringing him more. One quick dip into the bathroom and he was once more just another face in the crowd, at least until someone figured out a new way to easily identify him. It definitely wouldn’t be his clothes. A grey T-shirt and jeans was so generic he’d seen at least a dozen others wearing the same thing as he dropped off his sweater in his locker.

 

He was a little worried his seating position would give him away as he settled into his next class, but was relieved to find his well cultivated anonymity was holding strong. He managed to make it through both third and fourth period without being questioned, and soon was on his way to test his luck in the cafeteria.

 

As he approached his anxiety grew, the sound of chatter growing louder by the second until he entered to find the place buzzing. Part of him hoped it had nothing to do with him, but he knew how boring his school was. There was no way everyone was just that excited about the “burger meal” the cafeteria had on offer for the day. No, everyone was excited about the rapidly evolving rumours that had taken the school by storm.

 

He couldn’t be sure the rumours had evolved well beyond the known truth, but it was a pretty safe bet. After all, “Some kid nobody knows talked to her outside the class for 10 minutes then they came back and nothing happened” doesn’t have quite enough punch to satisfy the high school rumour mill.

 

He was beginning to catch hints of attention as he collected his burger and fries. He wouldn’t be able to eat in the cafeteria or he’d end up fielding questions for the entire lunch period. Technically, food wasn’t allowed to leave the cafeteria, but he wasn’t sure what they’d handed him actually counted as food, and he was willing to risk it.

 

He couldn’t even enjoy the delight of tearing through the cardboard like burger and chewy fries, as he spent the entire time on edge, waiting for someone to find the hole he’d found to eat his lunch in. No, he couldn’t appreciate the way his front teeth cut cleanly and efficiently, or how effortlessly his back teeth ground through the pieces he’d bitten off. He couldn’t focus on the way he tore through the normally challenging food as though it were nothing. No, he had to focus on the anxiety of possibly being caught.

 

Yes. Definitely absolutely no brain power available to think about any of those things. Or the fact he’d chewed through the paper plate it had been served on without thinking. Absolutely none of that was occupying an ever increasing part of his mind. He really did need to talk to Sarah about what those pills were doing, didn’t he. The fact he’d popped one while removing his sweater, and another after eating his plate only made him more anxious. Was he addicted? He barely even thought about taking them! That… that probably wasn’t good right?

 

Fortunately, he knew the perfect cure for uncomfortable thoughts: Reading webnovels. Hard to think about his potential drug addiction while reading about… Okay maybe the story about the alchemist wasn’t a good pick. But anyway! Surely the story of the princess falling in love with her draconic kidnapper would- Oh, well okay the dragon is explaining why she likes eating raw meat and… Okay maybe… maybe the story of the princess and the knight? The knight who’s hiding who she really is because of the danger of her identity being revealed…

 

He finally settled on re-reading an old favourite. A princess and a pauper caught up in the schemes of a dark sorcerer have to make their way through the dirty underbelly of the city the princess thought she knew. It was a nice story with good characters and a really satisfying ending. A perfectly good distraction with absolutely no relation to his life.