Chapter 1: The Goblin wakes up in Another World

 

I’m alive?

 

“Yokatta~”

 

I said as I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that I did not die yet.

 

Thank the gods of anime, I’m still alive.

 

If I’m alive then, is that all but a dream? If it is then **** Who tricked a pure hearted chuunibyou like me, huh!? 

 

I’mma beat da livin’ shit outta ya! Kakatte koi! 

 

Don’t ya know I sliced a meter thick titanium pole with a flimsy wooden branch when I was a kid!? Dis is a masta sudsmen, ya hear me!?

 

After feeling a momentary relief, finally recalling everything that happened, I got furious thinking some unseen foe showed me one of my biggest desires in my dream and then not even make it long enough to at least allow me to save a beautiful lady who would fall in love with me.

 

I mean, come on~ Why would someone be so cruel to a chuunibyou like me, whose heart is fragile as glass, and is pure like a crystal clear lake?

 

Don’t they know that they should treasure us creatures of purity and innocence as more and more people drown in depravity?

 

Sigh~

 

“Eh?” 

 

As I broke out of my stupid thoughts, I noticed something important.

 

I’m not in my APARTMENT, I repeat, I’m not in my APARTMENT! It’s important for chuunibyous’ like me, so I had to say it twice.

 

Currently located I’m near a road where one side leads to a forest - I think? (I mean it’s a big cluster of woods you know) - then the other continues to the horizon, towards who knows where.

 

Somewhere I don’t know = Isekai!

 

“♪Ohayou is—”  

 

Chotto matte! Before I celebrate being isekaied, I have to make sure that I’m really in another world. 

 

Uh-oh, I might be kidnapped and sent to an isolated island on Earth for some top secret project to create super agents and conquer the whole world(That’s cool). Or I’m still on Earth but this is in a pocket dimension where people who could use magic have gone to hide themselves(hopefully, there’s Erofu, if you know what I mean) after the witch hunt in wherever that was in whenever that time was.

 

Either way, let’s make sure this place is a bona fide isekai.

 

Once I think I’m ready after doing some light stretches, I put my left hand on my left eye, right eye wide open, standing straight with my feet shoulder-width apart, and my right hand forward outstretched, coughed to clear my throat and chanted,

 

“Gohon, By the power bestowed unto this one, sift through falsities, and unveil the truth… Evil Eye of Judgement!”

 

*silence*

 

Chi! So the seal upon my right eye remains strong, as I still could not use my Evil Eye of Judgement. 

 

No matter, I’ll think of another way.

 

While silently contemplating deep philosophical nonsense, such as “The sky sure is blue” and “Suge~ a flying giant lizard”.

 

Oh, right! Isn’t there a User Interface like those in games and anime before I lost consciousness? Maybe it’s hand gesture operated, like in Blade Technique Online.

 

Hence, with that in mind I tried various hand gestures: swiping vertically and horizontally with my pointer finger, hand signs from that ninja anime, drawing different shapes in mid air, to picking up a wooden branch and drawing a magic circle then after that a face of beautiful 2d bishoujo(and it’s perfectly done, if I say so myself), coz’ why not?

 

You leave me no choice. I don’t really want to do this but I have to. This forbidden word - in my opinion, anyway - due to its atrocious nature, has to leave my mouth to know the true nature of this place.

 

Resigned to my fate, I hesitatingly say the words,

 

“《Properties》”

 

But when even that did not work, I bit my lip, stuttering I say,

 

“S-《Status》”

 

《Name: None》

《Race: Goblin》

《Title: Blessed Hero》

《Class: Actor》

《Skill: Acting》

 

And finally see a reminder that I’m in another world, but before that, 

I stomped my feet on the ground whole heartedly, while shouting towards the high heavens,

 

“Oh come on, Gods of this world! If my guess is right(I mean that’s the common trope, right?), this place is a world of swords and fantasy! 

 

For chuunibyou’s sake!

 

Why isn’t there a very magical way to call upon your stat panel!?

 

I could accept it if it’s ‘Properties’ because with just a bit of flair you could make it a bit cool! But not Status! It’s just ‘Status’ no matter what you do!

 

And why does the panel itself look so plain!?

 

Look, it’s just like a black clear glass with no adornments whatsoever! You might as well make it inaccessible! And the font of the letters are so office-setting like, it’s too formal, and I hate it! Reminds me of my time in that black company!”

 

In the peaceful and serene forest a flock of birds got startled and flew away due to my loud voice. Meanwhile, a lone rabbit looks at me with a blank face(The hell ya lookin’ at, teme!?) probably thinking that I’m an idiot(Oi! I’mma cook ya just ya wait). It ran away(Coward!).

 

I just noticed. Aren’t I ranting for two instances already? Looks like I’d be ranting in the future as well, mark my words that’s gonna happen. 

 

Just looking at this stat panel, you could see that they only did the absolute necessity, to make it functional and so practical that you have to say it with just one word. 

 

Oh, Gods of whatever this World’s name is, please at least make the magic in this world magical.

 

Among the isekai light novels and anime that have been released this past few years, more and more made the explanation of magic more sci-fi than fantasy. I mean, I do understand the “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic” phrase as a good point of view in magic and it’s hella cool.

 

But, here’s the thing, my head hurts like hell every time I read so much scientific jargon! I’m not that smart! Ah, no I’m still a genius, but math and science is just not my forte.

 

Ugh, this is the problem with me. My thoughts would go right, right, left, go backwards and just circle round and round in a freaking mess.

 

Get it together me, I’m in another world now, it would be a disgrace to all honorable otakus, weebs, and chuunibyous if I dilly dally here and miss the “save the princess from the bandits' ' event.

 

But, first things first, I have to think of a new name for myself and a TRUE name - which I wouldn’t flaunt to other people, that's just stupid in my opinion.

 

If I remember it right, in that favorite light novel of mine, the main character - which is a slime, by the way - and in a web novel from Japan as well, the way they name a goblin is Gobu(from romaji of Goburin［ゴブリン in katakana］by the way) plus something unique about them, or common names in Japan. For example Gobu+ichi(one)= Gobuichi［ゴブイチ］, easy, right?

 

And, as to what I would name myself, I decided on… 

 

*♪drum roll♪*

 

... Goburu! Why, you might ask, the answer is something simple yet profound, and it is because ‘I feel like it’. Don’t try to understand me, only sages like me could hope to do that.

 

“Okay, without further ado, to the forest we go~!”

 

As for the reason why I choose to head towards the forest is rather simple. 

 

I’m a goblin, the worst and most likely situation - a monster in this world. Someone sees me, I’m dead.

 

In a not so good, not so bad scenario, a demi human. At worst I might still die if this is a place with prejudice to demi humans, but if not then my presence would just be a little bit acceptable to humans.

 

Best case scenario, goblins are part of the humanoid race and have equal standing with others. But that’s just wishful thinking.

 

So the way with the best odds of survival is the one that leads to the forest. 

 

My first priority is to find a water source not too deep in the forest. Deeper in the woods and there might be lots of predators and a watering hole is a place that’s a natural hunting ground. Near the forest, only a few would get that far since they become the hunted because of humans.

 

Next is edible fruits. Though, as far as I could observe there’s almost none this near to the forest’s entrance. And I have no confidence in identifying which mushrooms are poisonous.

 

Lastly, a place to sleep. Since I couldn’t find edible fruits yet, I’ve been picking up twigs to start a fire once I find somewhere to make a camp. Even if I don’t find one these twigs are still used since I’ll use it to make a not-so-bug repellant because I have no idea which grass has an insect repellant effect.

 

Oh right, it completely slipped my mind. I haven’t checked the details about my title and skill as well as my appearance. Tehepero★~ 

 

Sitting upon a fallen log, I opened it and tried thinking of “《Status》” and it worked.

 

Luckily, I’m spared of saying a lame way of calling my stats panel

 

《Name: Goburu》

《Race: Goblin》

《Title: Blessed Hero》

《Class: Actor》

《Skill: Acting》

 

Looks like the name that I have decided for myself has been acknowledged by whatever system that governs these things.

 

To start, better to try and see if I could get some explanation about my stats. I’ll begin with my race 《Goblin》.

 

《Goblin》

 

A race belonging to the 《Spirit-folk》. The goblins originate from 《Earth Spirits》who formed their bodies from the earth, and thus the《Goblins》are born. As 《Earth Spirits》could be found almost everywhere except up in the sky as《Goblins》became quite a diverse race with there being a different species of 《Goblins》in every environment.

 

Some of the physical characteristics of 《Goblins》 depend on the place they are born. Their skin might be sandy colored, brownish or with just a bit of greenish hue. And just like any other《Spirit-folk》, 《Goblins》have long pointed ears. The average height of a 《Goblins》 is the same as a human adolescent.

 

Heh~ I’m quite lucky, this means I have a better chance at survival.

 

《Blessed Hero》

 

Grants the title holder the ability to use 《Aether》or《Blessed Energy》hence the name.

 

The heck is 《Aether》?

 

《Aether》or《Blessed Energy》

 

The holy energy that 《Divine Beings》 bestowed to their devout believers after painstaking hours of prayers.

 

I don’t pray that much, though? Is it because I’m isekaied? 

 

Oh, well.

Next meme. I mean stat. 

 

《Actor》

A class which possesses the skill 《Acting》.

 

Huh, that’s weird. Uh, then the last.

 

《Acting》

 

An omnipotent skill that allows the user to become anyone that they want. It also provides《Auxiliary Skills》which helps the user to act.

 

《Combat Skills》

 

《Competent Action Star》〈3rd Level〉❨Passive❩

 

With multiple Martial Arts in the 3rd level proficiency, increases battle prowess of the user whenever in combat and negates damage from those with  lower levels.

 

《The Protagonist》❨Passive❩

 

 Elevates the battle prowess of the user to the level of his/her adversary for a brief period of time ❲Duration: 1 hour Cooldown: 1 day❳

 

《Auxiliary Skills》

 

《Role Play》

 

A skill that allows the user to change their appearance, gender, voice and everything else to “play any role” that they need. It also affects the user’s stats panel to make the user as genuine as possible. 

 

《Props》

 

A skill that provides anything that the user might need as long as it’s handheld or portable. From edible food, water, clothing, or any necessities, to weapons the skill could provide it.

 

《Script》

 

An 《Actor》’s 《Identify》. This versatile skill allows the user to 《Identify》something but that’s not the only thing it could do. It also shows someone’s background such as their past, likes, dislikes to help the user to keep his 《Act》. It also has a 《Clock》,《Calendar》, and《Map》function to show the user the 《Setting》.

 

…….

……

…

 

Nanda kore wa???