AN: Ugh. I seriously don’t want to write like in Chapter 2. Could you believe this? I got a fever because I write like that. so I'm going back to my usual writing style. I’m much more comfortable writing in a happy-go-lucky attitude, honestly. I’m trying to decrease white space so hopefully those who read this could enjoy Chuuni Goblin.

By the way, an AI-generated Goburu as Fukunaga Minori the Lord Abyss Priest. Though there’s some mistakes. Oh, well. Can’t be helped.

***

(A few moments before Goburu’s debut as Fukunaga Minori the Lord Abyss Priest)

 

So here's what I noticed as a frequent reader of isekai novels. In these stories, the main character either starts out weak and gains enough strength by the last chapter to be either as strong as a God or God Slayer, or he has already become one. One well-known instance of it is this tale of an unemployed man, of which I had read the web novel but not the light novel version. Others included the white-haired man with the eyepatch-covered right eye (and no, he is not Kaneki), the man holding the shield (Not Captain America), and my favorite slime.

 

Or, an ordinary person goes isekai and *surprise, surprise* discovers that they were a God or Godslayer in a prior life. In this, there’s this guy who got summoned for a second time. I'm not sure, or perhaps I simply forgot about the books with this kind of plot. But only this particular example surfaced in my mind.

 

This slightly irritates me. Why not make them a god right away if they're going to become one in the end? There aren't many novels that begin with the main character being a God. This story about a man who was infatuated with magic and was reincarnated as a Dragon is a nice example, albeit it's not very well-known. Some people might object and say, "Then he isn't a god," but even on Earth, dragons are revered as Gods. There's also an MC who, while on Earth, "plays" the part of a God through a PC game. It's only three volumes long, but it's still incredibly excellent.

 

Most readers probably love novels where the protagonist must overcome obstacles to become strong. What was it? Something about the journey being more important than the destination or something like that. Anyway, I could be mistaken, though, as I usually read English-translated Japanese light novels. 

 

Why then do I keep allowing myself to get sidetracked by my thoughts? Then let me ask you: A dirty, balding old man or a damsel in distress? Which would you rather save? To the 'hero' who would claim he would save both, well, that’s nice of you＊rolls his eyes＊.  But at least you're sincere, to those who would pick the damsel. To be really honest with you, if I had the option, I would also want to save a bishoujo. But if anyone believed that just because they were isekaied, they would inevitably find themselves in a situation where they had to save a princess, they were mistaken.

 

Why in the name of God am I saving these foul old men? I understand that I must, but why the heck!? First, their boar got away and attacked the princess’ carriage - skill issue, maybe? Taking advantage of this incident, a crew of assassins decided to attack. And to make it worse, the idiots - though I do understand their reasons, it’s still stupid - made their presence known. Of course they’ll get implicated, they look more like bandits than other bona fide bandits. Every law enforcement officer would be skeptical of them with a look like that. 

 

And then to seal the deal, in case you missed it, the princess and her knight have sadistic tendencies. Now these two have them on their sights. How unfortunate were they really? Are they afflicted with a curse? Are there evils in this world that only affect old men? Or do the Gods hate the existence known as old men? Should I change sex and become a girl to escape this fate?

 

I had asked P.A to reveal to me the pasts of those two so that I could understand them a bit more. The knight; she was severely bullied in the knight's academy and even after she joined the Knight's Order, which is a common background for female knights. Her personality was distorted as a result. 

 

While the princess achieved a lot with her knowledge and talents after being accepted into the royal family. This contributed to a feeling of insecurity among the other crown contenders. Even after Rurisanca-himesama withdrew from the race for the crown, their worries remained unaddressed. In an effort to ensure she would take her distance to the throne, they decided to burn her personal collection of books - their biggest mistake.

 

The whole castle and those doing business with them - whether for business reasons or political reasons, knows one fact about Rurisanca-hime sama. She loves books - uh that’s pretty tame for that, correction - she’s a HUGE BIBLIOPHILE. There’s one - sorry, make that many - instances where she’s caught inhaling the scent of a newly purchased book. 

 

What are you looking at huh!? *remembers what he said at prologue* 「… I’ll sniff her(the novel) whole body trying to inhale the sweet, addicting smell unique to her that she exudes…」*turns red from shame* uhhh… I want to dig a hole to hide myself away…

 

A-a-anyway, you are free to physically or emotionally harm me for as long as I am patient with you and you’ll be fine. But remember this, burn my books, and… *smiles maniacally* So, I think it's clear what I'm trying to say, but this particular episode was the page that broke the bookworm’s back. Even if they recite every name of every God on this planet or on Earth, if someone did that to me, I'd make sure they would pay for it in hell. And that is what happened to those who crossed the princess; they were tormented alongside their families, had their women violated in front of them, and when their minds finally shattered, they were burned along with their possessions. After this incident, the infamy of Rurisanca Leasaitolia spread inside and outside the kingdom, overshadowing all the good that she had done.

 

My verdict? Like every reader who comes across a villain in a story - small-time or not - the past doesn’t matter. No one has the right to treat others the way they were treated because of something that has happened to them in the past. They remain accountable for their actions.

 

『Actor Goburu, it’s time.』 P.A suddenly said. Good timing since I just finished taking my mind off the fact that I have to save old men instead of pretty girls.

 

Oh, by the way, before I go I’ll just show off my new look. I decided to look androgynous in both body form and facial traits first to make myself more godly. I also have long red hair. If I'm going to be a deity, I'd rather look like this than a 'manly' god. It seems suitable given that I aim to project an air of mischief in my role as the Chuuni God rather than authority.

 

Then my outfit. Don’t expect me to wear those Greek God outfits or other common God outfits like in anime. This is what I want. For the top, I have a comfy white inner hooded jacket and over it a badass black outer jacket with a wide hoodie and many pockets. This is paired with tech wear pants with black camouflage design and military boots. I also have accessories. A surgical eyepatch for my left eye and gloves to cover the magic circles in my hands. In short, and if you’re aware, my own Vtuber drip~!

 

It’s time for me, Fukunaga Minori the God of Chuunibyou a.k.a. Lord Abyss Priest to make my debut and show the world my OP skill,《Acting》. 『Actor Goburu, I'm sorry to break it to you, but you are very much mistaken about 

《Acting 》. Contrary to what you believed, it is not overpowered.』P.A. abruptly revealed to me significant information.

 

『 Okay~』I answered dumbly. So《Acting》isn’t as OP as I thought, huh~. Then I realized 『Eh? Chotto matte!? Isn’t this yabe!? Oi, P.A we—』Suddenly, my surroundings were filled with blinding light as I felt weightless.

 

Doushiyou~? was my last thought as I racked my brain to remedy this mess I unintentionally put myself in.

 

***

There are various emotions that people feel when they are in the presence of a god. For religious people, gratitude, contrition, warmth, joy, and hope are just a few of the things they would feel. On the other hand, if one had read many isekai novels where the main character got summoned by a god, they would be like this: “So what cheat would I have!?”. It’s quite uncommon to see novels where the MC's are not like this, to be honest. 

 

And currently the overpowering heavenly pressure that I emanate is felt by the mortals who have the privilege to look upon my heavenly countenance. Those with good hearts have broken down crying and have fallen prostrate to pray to me. 

 

Honestly, it's kinda disgusting seeing grown men crying like little kids. Dude, look at yourself! There’s snot falling from your nose! You’re not babies who got scared just because your mommy went to the bathroom! What do you want me to do!? 

 

“Ara ma~ Everything’s fine now~ Why~ Because Mama Might is here, you know~” Is this what you want me to say!?

 

Meanwhile, the cruel princess and her sadistic female knight look horrified to see me. Their faces look so white as a sheet, they’re trembling like a vibrator, buckets of sweat poured out of them, and the expression on their face as though they saw the most terrifying thing in their entire lives. How rude. Can’t you see how divinely beautiful am I?

 

And then there’s me. I look so heavenly and imposing to those who see me. There’s also a warm smile on my face as I slowly - like yawn-inducing slow - descend to the ground. But all of that was done with the help of《Role-play》. 

 

『P.A what should I do!?』I asked while in a state of panic. 

 

Ever since I saw the description on《Acting》, I’ve been operating under a huge misunderstanding. The only skill in my arsenal, according to P.A, that could be called “OP” was《Role-play》. I couldn’t turn into a giant, it seems, and I would only be able to do that when I was able to use higher forms of energy like《Aether》. But I could turn into a boy, girl, man, woman, human, elf, beastfolk, and anything else so long as they are humanoid in shape. That would be useful when I tried to be an assassin since I could do it without a cooldown and it happens in a blink of an eye. Furthermore, the maximum height that I could have right now was only 180 cm. For someone who’s stuck at 150 cm height since middle school until my twenties, being able to stand tall at a whopping 180 cm tall made me so happy. What, you have a problem with my height!?

 

Next is 《Props》. After I read it— 『What you did couldn’t be considered as “reading” in any way, Actor Goburu.』P.A interrupted me. Okay, fine. After I “skimmed” - you happy, P.A!? - in my excitement, I thought I could have anything, whether material or immaterial, that I asked for. But contrary to my hopeful expectations, like that absurd skill from a light novel about cooking, I have to pay for anything I want to have. In hindsight that’s only reasonable but my idiot self from earlier never thought of that. Luckily, I have a 100 gold budget, though I don’t know if that’s enough or not. The only expense that I made was for the Ki Manipulation Manual for 10 gold. While the【Evil Eye of Judgment】, 【Abyss】,【 Sigil of Infinite Dimensional Storage】and another【Evil Eye】that I haven’t decided yet were abilities from 《Role-play》and 【Personal Assistant】from 《Props》 were abilities that I apparently have from the start.  【Cursed Staff of the Sly Fox】and 【Immaterial Full Body Mirror】, on the other hand, became free due to【Abyss】. I don’t know why.

 

And finally, my main concern,《Combat Skills》. According to P.A.《Competent Action Star》only increases my battle prowess to be on equal standing with those more skilled than me. For example, the knights crying below me have a 4th level minimum on Martial skills and if I fight them, I would 100% lose. Why? This is because those with a martial skill on Lvl. 4 or above could manipulate Ki and strengthen themselves. Add that to the equation, then my loss seems much more reasonable. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have other cards to play. 『You weren’t even aware it existed』 P.A. told me exasperatedly. *looks the other way*

 

Anyway, I have two toggle buff skills from《Competent Action Star》and another two passive buff skills other than《The Protagonist》. 【Dominate】increases my physical strength and defenses, but in exchange decreases my reflexes and agility. It also inflicts【Fear】status to surrounding enemies.【Hold Back】on the other hand, increases my stamina, reflexes, and agility while decreasing my strength. And then from《The Protagonist》【Plot Armor】makes me immortal - it just prevents me to die - but not invincible to damage while【Sword of Justice】increases the lethality of the strikes I dealt to wicked people and the accuracy of my attacks.【Sword of Justice】also inflicts【Fear】status to evil. Oh, I almost forgot about my only active skill from《Competent Action Star》, but I’ll explain when I use it.

 

So what’s causing me to panic, you might ask? “I was likewise curious to know that.” P.A said. I became a God, you know!? Shouldn’t I be OP and able to use something like *** Blow - uh, that sounds ecchi - God Blow, right!? It’s not unreasonable of me to expect some one-hit K.O skills, you know~

 

『*sigh~*』Wait, did she just  sighed at me and exasperatedly, at that?『Yes, I did.  So you weren’t listening earlier when I told you that while《Role-play》could be considered OP, every role you do has a level and there are requirements to increase its level. Right now, without access to even《Ki》, the system treats you as a delusional fool instead of a god and has given you an appropriate title. *chuckles*』

 

Ugh. Even the system is making fun of me~ I really want to cry right now but I used 《Role-play》to maintain a serene expression. Kuh. I’ll resist the urge to check my 《Status》right now.

 

『So what are the requirements so I could become a god, P.A. ?』I asked. And she began listing everything plainly. 『First, you must acquire at least enough believers to form a sect. Learn to control 《Ki》,《Aether》,《Miasma》and《Mana》. And to have the《Holy Trinity》,《Wretched Trinity》,《Seven Heavenly Virtues》,and《Seven Deadly Sins》.』

 

『うわ〜　面倒くさいな~　でも、神としてロールプレイしたい〜。』(Uwa〜 What a pain in the ass~ But, I want to roleplay as a god~)『Actor Goburu, for what reason are you thinking in japanese? You aren’t even from Japan.』P.A. asked、 confused. 

 

『Huh? You didn’t know?』

 

『Would I be asking you if I know?』P.A. questioned again, sounding annoyed.

 

『Fair enough. Listen, and listen well. Because I’m an otaku and that’s it.』I said.『...』Realizing that P.A had fallen silent, I begun making a plan to realize my desire to role play as a god while taking my current skill set into consideration. Then I realized something, 『P.A. if I’m not acknowledged by the system as a god, then why do these guys feel a “divine pressure” from me?』Due to my agitated state I failed to notice that even though I couldn’t fully roleplay as a god, there’s a visible pressure felt by everyone except me. And if my guess is right...

 

『Yes, you’re conjure is correct. I found out after analyzing【Abyss】that it could be used to create illusions and to make those illusions,  “real”. As it is only a cursory analysis, there could be more uses for【Abyss】to be found in the near future.』...the plan that I have in mind seems feasible.

 

『Been a while since I gone wild.』as I thought this to myself, the folks on the ground - especially the princess and her knight - looks even more terrified than earlier. 『Hm~ The “divine aura” might be getting stronger as I come closer.』Unaware that through【Abyss】I made their hearts leap out of their mouth in terror with my battle-lust filled thought, I discussed my plan with P.A.