Chapter 4: I Know How Men In Exile Feed On Dreams. Fish Taste Better.  

It was clear that Fanqi’s words had moved minds, but was it enough? Had he moved them in the right direction, or had he just made even more of a fool of himself?

Looking up at the rock, he waited for the Patriarch to speak. As the moment stretched out, the gathered flock began to shift and squeak softly. But not so loudly that Fanqi could make out their thoughts. Eventually, the Patriarch cleared its throat and spoke. "Ah young one, to hear that we still have such honor. I am sorrowful of the fate that has befallen you and can only hope that it shall never happen again to this great family."

So it had not been enough to save him, but maybe another. He would have one more chance to speak before he would need to leave. Better make it count. "Though I may walk into my fate with my eyes open I would not have chosen this for one of you. So to you, you who are my murderers I tell, that immediately after my death punishment far greater than inflicted on me shall surely await you. Me you have killed because you could not bear my presence, and not to give an accounting of your lives."

After delivering his damnation of the family he was trying to save from repeating the fate he found himself in, he began to waddle away. Which one of them could say that next time it would not be them in his place? Which one of them could say the tall ones would find them worth it? Too many would surely claim their power, but to what end? They could not know.

A path parted in front of Fanqi, and he dove on his belly, sliding along the packed snow. Using his feet, he propelled himself forward ever southward. A few moments later, he had left the edges of the colony and started his trek to the great interior. 

As he waddled away, Fanqi did his best not to look back. That would only make it hurt more. Even as he first dove on his belly, sliding across a particularly slippery patch, he could feel the eyes of his former family on him. Even though he was well-fed and fit, he could only move so fast and was in sight for quite a long time. 

After a few hours, he was finally out of sight of the colony. With the relief that he was no longer being viewed, he finally let himself stop his purposeful strides to near-certain death. Sitting down in the middle of the vast barren desert, Fanqi fought against the anguish and the tears. Wallowing in self-pity wasn't the way, but he still needed to process the bad luck. 

Wrenching his thoughts away from such useless blaming of the universe, Fanqi reminded himself what he was doing and why. He hadn't done anything wrong, so it was all he could do to be a martyr and go on. 

Not long after he stopped, he leveraged himself back to his feet and continued on. 

***

So far, he had been blessed with clear skies, and his journey had been easy. Night hadn't been pleasant without a group to huddle up in for warmth, but he had survived. 

It was early on the second day of his trip when things started to go wrong. It wasn't the bad weather that had waylaid him, though it had been rough. No, the tall ones had returned in their red monster. Looking around for somewhere to hide, Fanqi had found nothing.

He did his best to run, but it was futile. The monster got close then the tall ones' long strides ate up the distance between them faster than he could even have imagined on land. When they caught him, they let out more noises from their beakless faces.

"I would recognize this chonker anywhere. What are you doing out here big guy? It's a long way from home."

The second one made noises as well as Fanqi was carried to their monster in an undignified manner.

"Sometimes they get lost. If we return them near the feeding ground or near the colony he should find his way."

The ride was similar to the first one, and before Fanqi had finished calming down enough to think, they were back in the feeding grounds. The tall ones picked him up again and moved him to the ground, a little walk away from the water.

Fanqi stood on the ground looking around, and a few minutes later, the human monster roared away. Now left with a decision, Fanqi looked up to the sky to think. 

Ultimately going to get more food wasn't necessary. He was more than equipped for a full season without eating; he could make it a long way. Besides, he was still so full that even thinking of eating made him the slightest bit nauseous. It had only been a few days since he had last eaten, after all.

Without further delay, Fanqi resolutely turned back to the center of the great land and started waddling forward. 

Off in the distance, a few other colony members squinted off in his direction, trying to figure out what they were seeing. Fanqi ignored those other penguins, not wanting to let them see his shame. As he continued his journey into exile. Unfortunately, the feeding grounds were several days' walk farther from the center of the vast content than his colony. Still, he wasn't going to give up.

***

After several days of marching and huddling against the frigid nights, Fanqi had a sinking feeling in his gut as he heard a familiar roar. This time he had gone directly to the center, choosing a different route than the regular route to the colony. As far as he knew, no colony member had ever traveled through this area before, and he was the first.

So, why was the tall ones’ monster coming at him? He tried to hide as running last time had proved futile. Diving into the snow, even though there wasn't much hope of it succeeding, seemed to be his only chance. There was too little cushion to hide him, only a few inches of powder above the hard permafrost. And he had no way of covering up his magnificent black back. 

The tall ones got out of the monster and walked over to him. One of them gently touched his head and said something. That he didn't understand. "Hey, this is the same guy. Seems to be alive. I don't know what he's doing here."

The other one said something as well. "It looks like he's playing dead. I've never seen a penguin do that before. I don't know what's wrong with him. Well, we'll try taking him back to the colony instead of the feeding grounds. It seemed that the last couple of times there didn't really go over very well."

Fanqi didn't even try to struggle as he was hauled back into the human monster. His only thoughts were of the progress he had lost.

***

This time when the tall ones set him down Fanqi didn’t even stop to think he immediately started making his way back to the center as soon as the monster roared away. The Primordial petrel wouldn’t wait forever. 

Not once did he look back at the huddle of the colony behind him. Fanqi didn’t want to even think about them. But he couldn’t help but wonder what they thought of the tall ones bringing him back once more. 

The days passed without much change, a few times a great petrel circled overhead, but it must have found easier prey than him. Still whenever he saw the shadow flit of the snow dusted ground his heart couldn’t help but jump a few notches. Other than that the journey consisted of waddling over the rougher terrain and then diving on his belly for the smooth icy expanses. 

Until he heard a familiar roar. Was his journey cursed that he would never make progress, never be able to hold onto the last bit of honor he had? When the tall ones stepped out of their monster in between him and the mountains they just looked at him. Fanqi watched back for a minute, the whole world was just frozen for the breath.

Then he decided he would just continue. Surprisingly the tall ones stood aside and let him pass while making their odd noises that he couldn’t understand.

“-I’m sorry Frankie, I know, but the boss said we had to stop interfering with their natural processes. Besides, do you know how expensive it is to ship gas all the way out here?” 

“Its-Its just he is so cute! Why is he consistently trying to go to the mountains, there is nothing there.”

“I don’t know. Maybe he is depressed? The only thing we can do is let him go on his way.”

Fanqi gave the tall ones a wide berth so they wouldn’t scoop him up again and reset all of his progress.

“Good bye little chonker!”

“Come on Frankie, lets go make some hot chocolate.”