And I watched as he swung his longsword—a strike that could erase concepts from existence. I suppose I am the only person in this world who remembers the concept of fatigue and intangibility, and I expect myself to forget it again soon if he chooses to.
Then, I turned my head towards the left of the field. A teleportation ability? No, it was time manipulation. He appeared on the opposite side of the battle. Before my death, I vaguely heard the confirmation.
These are my students. I would like to be proud and write more about them, but they are about to clash right now.
"Keng..." I closed my eyes before their swords collided, knowing that a piece of iron would break from their weapons and fly with unreasonable speed towards my forehead, killing me instantly.
I fell to the ground, as expected. Regardless of my position, posture, or breathing, I would still die from the exact same cause—a piece of metal flying straight at my forehead. Even if I were to move to the opposite side of the sparring field, the same thing would happen. This is the fifth time now.
The worst part is, as far as my understanding goes, there is no one in my class who controls metal.
...
2022
"What the fuck... Why did the game moderator just kill her like that?"
"Look, if you can't make a character work, maybe don't use her in the first place, lmao."
"This is such a bad plot. What did I even expect?"
In a group chat behind monitors and phones, a community of online enthusiasts immersing themselves in fictional combat scenarios discussed the seemingly underdog character's sudden death. They had expected much more from the character, like how Thuong, the woman, was secretly very strong but hid her power and such.
Her death added nothing to the story, and her existence didn't make sense to them. When setting up a plot and running a story or group, it is expected of the admin to make it logical. Making a normal human NPC the teacher for superhumans was a strange decision, and randomly killing her off when two other players were fighting and blaming it on their swords seemed quite childish coming from the admins.
...
Around and around we go.
The next day came.
2050
The United Nations, at the risk of alien invasion, decided to gather the most elite fighters from around the world to a remote island near the Nemo Point to train them, using technology known to the public as "Advanced Technology" to enhance their superpowers. This project was also known as "Project Alpha."
The more I learn about this, the more I cringe at how stupid it is. They only gathered people under 30 years old, most of whom are cool and untattered young women. Why? Because no one wants to roleplay as an unappealing or old character.
I should know. Before my first death, this plot was written on my computer for a roleplay group that I was too lazy to set up the feat system and run the plots for.
Something stays the same, even then and now.
I am Thuong, a civics education teacher in high school, dying in my own story.
Nice start! I really enjoy the premise and look forward to a unique character path through life and a unique character path through the action of the story.
I will say one thing though, which is both compliment and criticism (though word-count wise, I'd guess it's mainly criticism...). This is far too short, and I want more because it's so intriguing. None of the things felt they were dwelt on for a satisfying amount of time. As stories go, you did pretty well, but even with this being the introduction, there could be a lot more focus on each and every element to make a more satisfying introduction. And what I mean by for "elements" in this case are the various things like the dialogue for the commentators and critics could be increased - with various types of net-speak (if there is one thing that the internet has, it is a multitude of voices) - which would increase the immersion of the world-building. The other things include her being able to make an entire roleplay game, or Project Alpha, which could be described more thoroughly. Or what about the death? Or the environment? Really every single element was too short.
Love you
Hey you reupload again ?
yes
Reupload?
yes, revise with grammartically error, word choice fixes, new cover and a new upload schedule