“AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!” Ryu exclaimed, running down a stone corridor as an enormous boulder rolled behind, determined to flatten him.

“Faster, Ryu! Mush!” Wisteria ordered.

“I’m running as fast as I can! And did you just tell me to mush?! I’m not a dog!” he replied through gritted teeth. “Just try me! I’ll drop you right here, right now!”

“Y-you wouldn’t dare! You’d leave a lady to fend for herself in a dungeon?”

Ryu didn’t buy her act for a second. “Don’t give me that crap!” he scoffed. “You’re Mage Class—you just don’t want to run!”

“It’s the honorable thing to do!” she huffed, pounding her fists on his chest.

“My honor’s in shambles, woman! You picked the wrong guy for that!”

Ryu made to drop her—

“Waahh! No! Okay! Okay! I’m sorry! Just don’t drop me!” Wisteria apologized.

He carried the mage in his arms as Sylfie ran alongside them, straining to keep up. The elf’s face was red from the exertion. No matter how far they ran, the boulder’s speed didn’t seem to let up.

“How come she gets a ride but I don’t?!” Sylfie complained.

“She doesn’t have agility skills, and you’re just naturally fast!” Ryu replied.

Sylfie shook her head in denial. “No! Even Aurora’s hitching a ride! I can’t keep up any longer!” she huffed. “You’re the only one with infinite stamina, make use of it!” she finished, jumping onto Ryu’s back.

“I swear to God, I’m going to turn around and run into this boulder! What kind of party members are you?!” Ryu shouted in frustration.

“Don’t blame us! Blame Jörm! He’s the one that said all the traps had been set off!” Sylfie replied.

Ryu’s eye twitched violently as he clenched his jaw tighter. “Did it ever occur to you buffoons that the traps reset after a certain time period?”

Wisteria pondered the question for a moment. “I wouldn’t know—I never visit dungeons twice.”

“If we survive this, I’m going to kill you two myself.”

“D-don’t say that! Even as a joke!” the mage shuddered.

Ryu looked down at her with a ghoulish gaze. “Who said I was joking?”

“P-point taken! I promise we’ll be more helpful this time!” Wisteria stammered.

“Ryu! Look out!” Sylfie screamed hysterically as Ryu accidentally fell into a spike trap.

Technically, the trap would have been quite easy to see and get around. However, the elf had decided her hands would be best suited right over Ryu’s eyes at that moment. Hence, their fall to an early demise. Thankfully—

“Aurora!” Ryu yelled.

“On it, nya!” The bloated cat emerged from his satchel, grabbing his collar and letting loose a stream of flatulence that speedily propelled them out of the trap before they were skewered.

The boulder fell into the trap, allowing them a brief respite. Ryu breathed a sigh of relief.

Sylfie’s ears pricked up. “We’re close to the others—just take this corner!”

“Freedom!” Ryu cheered, as he escaped the corridor. He turned his head, expecting to see the rest of the adventurers, only to be met with the sight of another boulder rolling down the hall, straight towards them. “Oh, come on!”

A burly hand suddenly grabbed him by the collar, pulling him back.

“Behind me! A towering figure with arms as thick as tree trunks and flowing golden hair commanded.

Jörm took the stance of a boxer, putting the full weight of his body behind his fist as he threw a punch. The momentum of the strike carried through the boulder, the force of the impact causing it to shatter into pieces.

“That was a close one!” the Viking guffawed.

“You’re telling me,” Ryu mustered weakly, collapsing onto the floor with Wisteria and Sylfie. “You saved us, thank you.”

“Haha! Don’t mention it! Come! The others are waiting!”

They followed him through a massive hole in the wall. Ryu’s eyes bulged suddenly, realizing that there were numerous holes in every wall in a successive series. The damage reached all the way back to the dungeon stairs.

“Did you just punch your way through the first floor?” Ryu asked him in disbelief.

Jörm rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Er, it seems all the traps were reactivated.”

“You didn’t expect that?”

“I wouldn’t know—I never visit dungeons twice,” Jörm shrugged.

Sylfie and Wisteria struggled to hold Ryu back as he frothed at the mouth. “You’re all seasoned adventurers! What gives?!”

“Gehaha! Apologies, friend. There are hundreds, if not thousands of dungeons scattered across the lands. Most adventurers don’t really have any incentive to return to a dungeon once they’ve cleared it.”

“There are that many?” Ryu was baffled.

“The old rulers had a real hard-on for dungeons,” Sylfie explained. “Grandmother said something about their constant need for thrilling and rewarding stimulation.”

“Truly strange those masochists were,” Jörm said shaking his head.

You godd*mn hypocrites! What are we doing here then?! Ryu didn’t say a word, however, trying not to think about the hours he had sank into World of Glory’s various dungeons and raids. He was just as guilty as these fools.

“We should probably press forward,” he suggested, eager to get a move on. He couldn’t handle any more inane conversations for the day.

“Ah, you’re right,” Jörm chuckled. “Onward!”

Ryu gulped, sweating nervously as he caught glimpses of all the traps on the floor. They passed incendiary floor tiles, cannons, wall spikes, and more sinister contraptions. He thanked his lucky stars for the brutish strength of their present company.

He felt a bit guilty for his earlier outburst now. As ridiculous as they were, his friends had always managed to come through in a pinch before.

“Oop—”

Jörm stepped on a tile on the floor just before the stairwell. The tile sank into the floor, skewering the adventurer with dozens of arrows.

“Jörm!” Ryu called out, alarmed.

“Bahahaha! Not to worry, young hero! ‘Tis merely a flesh wound!” Jörm stated, striking a pose.

“There’s blood coming out of your mouth! You definitely punctured a lung!” Ryu clutched his head.

“Oh, this? It is just some leftover strawberry jam from this morn—” Jörm coughed heavily, hacking up more blood.

“Strawberry jam, my ass!” Ryu rushed over to him, tending to his wounds with [Healing Hand].

“Many thanks, Sir Panty Snatcher,” Jörm sighed, relieved.

“Don’t mention it,” Ryu said, shaking his head. “You should be more careful!” he scolded.

“O-of course, you’re right. Even with resilience, there’s only so much I can withstand,” the Viking replied, apologetically.

“Two hundred and three arrows—that’s a new record, Jörm!” Sylfie whistled.

Jörm scoffed. “A mere two hundred? We can do better than—”

“Don’t push it,” Ryu stressed. “I’m not going to heal you next time.”

“Yes, of course, my apologies once again. You know,” —Jörm stroked his chin, assessing Ryu— “you are quite considerate for a man. If only you were a woman; I would have already asked you to be mine!” he laughed heartily. “Coincidentally, there’s a potion to turn men into women and vice-versa.”

Ryu narrowed his eyes. “Thanks, but I’m not interested, so you’ll have to look elsewhere.”

“I merely jest!” Jörm continued to laugh.

“But weren’t you ready and willing for Giuseppe’s recipe?” Sylfie pointed out.

“T-that was different!” Ryu argued.

Jörm’s expression turned serious, suddenly pulling a notepad from his pocket and scribbling furiously in it. “So it’s compensation, you’re after? I have plenty of mon—”

“No! Now stop writing down whatever it is that you’re planning!”

“Oh, this? This is merely a grocery list,” Jörm explained.

“I don’t believe you!”

Jörm chuckled again. “Ryu, really, you must learn to take a joke—”

“Turn Ryu into Malewife: Plan #1,” Sylfie read, leaning over the notepad.

Ryu bolted down the stairs to the second floor. “This isn’t a gender bender, d*mmit! This is my rise to the top! I’ll show you morons! Maybe then you’ll take me seriously!”