The past month had been full of nothing but exams, interrogation, paperwork, and waiting. While my prison was more a suite than a cell, the experience was not what I would call completely pleasant. There was enough magical security in the air that even I could feel it despite not being a spellcaster, though I received several thin explanations that my privacy was secure.

Luckily, I had a lot of work to do, and that kept my mind busy. The solitude, while unnecessary, was a nice touch as well. There had been only a few people to interact with during my quarantine and, while they had almost all been mages, it had mostly been brisk and professional.

Mostly.

I stood in the living room, sipping tea and watching the wall that I knew would face outside. There was no physical window, though magic images made it seem like there was. The view over New Frausta was beautiful from this high up, and it was the scene I had settled on most during my time here.

This particular Mage’s Guild Tower was incredibly magically advanced even if you considered others of its kind. As the headquarters of the entire organization, it received more funding than any other location and was a constant hotbed of activity. While I wouldn’t say it out loud here, it was a very impressive building.

The fact that we missed a question about the tower’s height at the Frosted Froth’s trivia night still nettled me even now.

A sharp knock on the door grabbed my attention, and I walked to the white table at the center of the room to sit down. I adjusted the collar of the green shirt I had requested, making sure I was presentable, before clearing my throat. “Come in.”

The door opened to reveal a Human woman with dark red hair, freckles adorning her pale face, and a sharp suit. I knew this to be Maribelle, the secretary to the liaison between the Department of Dungeons and the Mage’s Guild. She gave me a quick nod before stepping up to the table and setting down a large scroll.

“Maribelle,” I greeted, returning the nod. I wasn’t looking at her, though. Instead, the door held my attention. “I can’t help but notice the stench of wet dog permeating the air. And here I thought the magic scrubbers were supposed to prevent things like that.”

A slender woman wearing dark robes appeared in the doorway. Her black hair was thick and curly around her shoulders, and she looked down at me with slanted brown eyes. A sneer crossed her red lips before she opened them to speak, though I spoke before she had the chance.

“It seems as though you have finally gotten the promotion you’ve been striving for, Sophia,” I said. “The dog guarding the gates to Hell and the Grim Reaper are now one in the same. I suppose congratulations are in order.”

“Oh, a joke from Badger,” she said, her sneer changing into a frown. “I thought a month in solitary would give you time to think up better material. But I suppose we both know you’ve fallen so far that all you have left is the bottom of the barrel.”

I stared at the liaison, Sophia Blair, and she stared back at me. “Are you going to hover in the doorway?” I asked. “You have my permission to enter, you bloodsucking leech.”

The liaison glanced at the doorway before setting her jaw. I knew what she was having issues with, but I never passed up an opportunity to needle Sophia when I had the chance, just like she would never with me. She took a step into the room, becoming another person in the process.

Her clothes didn’t change, though they did shrink to fit her new frame. Before, Sophia had been a tall, somewhat lanky Human woman. Now, she was roughly a foot and a half shorter with an elongated face.

Orange and black fur sprouted from her skin complete with whiskers around her black nose. Dark eyes stared into mine, and a thick, bushy tail could be seen swishing angrily behind her.

Sophia walked into the room without another word, closing the door behind her. She took a seat across from me before gesturing to Maribelle. The secretary unrolled the parchment in front of her.

I didn’t say anything now. The magic security permeating the room had removed the transmutation spell that allowed Sophia to stay in Human form, revealing her to be a Kitsune. They were rare in this part of the world, though not unheard of. Like Avians, they originally came from the northeastern continent, though in greater numbers than the bird-like humanoids.

Just thinking about Avians made me frown, but I quickly schooled my expression. Neither of them seemed to notice.

Sophia ran her fingers along the letters, taking in a few things quickly before clasping her furry hands together and glancing at me. “Dungeon Inspector Badger,” she stated formally.

“Yes, I am Badger.”

Her eyes narrowed, but she continued. “You have been held under observation for the past 29 days to see the side effects of close contact with the Dungeon Master. Your apprentice, Ferrisdae Anne Runelara, and companions from the Adventurer’s Consortium, Cojisto Finnigan and Moose, have been likewise quarantined for the same duration.”

I didn’t say anything, almost willing her to speak faster so we could get this over with.

“Over the last few weeks you have been spoken to and examined by several medical professional, magical investigators, and scribes from the Department of Dungeons. They have checked your body, mind, and soul for any tampering. In one very ill-advised visit, your spouse, Tabitha Rhodes, was also brought in to have a long conversation about your past because, and I quote, ‘it’s none of your business, you flea-riddled skunk.’”

“A statement I will always stand by,” I said with a smirk.

“Thankfully, every result came back showing that, aside from being questionably enhanced, you are still the same Badger you were when you left my office,” she continued before sneering. “A small man in every sense of the phrase, physically, mentally, and spiritually.”

“That sounds like I’m free to go,” I stated, already pushing my chair back.

“Not quite,” Sophia said, holding a hand up. “Tell us your tale one more time. From your meeting with Ferrisdae, so that we can make sure you are still mentally stable. I know it'll be hard, but please try to remember.”

I frowned. “I doubt that’s really necessary.”

“As much as I hate listening to you blather, it’s absolutely necessary to remove the red tape of bureaucracy. Only, instead of just testing the limits of your memory, it also tests the limits of my sanity. So, please, begin.”

Sighing, I crossed my arms and glanced at Maribelle. She looked as impassive as ever, but gave me a nod as if to encourage me. Setting my jaw, I finally spoke.

“I met Junior Dungeon Inspector Ferrisdae in Thatcher after successfully auditing the newest dungeon of the vampire, Count Sarolious Etomine Falsavar,” I said slowly. “To my utter disappointment, I was told via Sending Stone by Chief Dungeon Inspector Brackenhorst that I was to be picking up a rookie to train. Not only that, but my route was being changed. Something that I take umbrage with, but any protests I raised fell on deaf ears.”

“Of course, no one wants to hear you complain,” Sophia stated.

“And I don’t want to be in a position where I should be complaining. Yet, here we are, in the same room, without a muzzle,” I replied. “Anyway, I arrived in Thatcher to find that Junior Dun-“

“You can skip all the titles,” the Kitsune interjected. “First names are fine, or first and last if it’s the first time you mention them. We’ll both be here all day if you insist, and neither of us will like that.”

I paused, wondering how far I wanted to go to sell the bit, before looking around at my room. While I would never admit it out loud, she was right; we both had better things to do.

“Ferrisdae was speaking with the mayor of Thatcher,” I continued. “I did not meet with Mayor Gerald Underson, but he appeared to be an elderly Half-Elf when I saw him through the window she jumped out of. She likely utilized a Feather Fall spell to reach the ground unharmed, but that’s conjecture.”

“Which I would advise you to keep to a minimum, Badger.”

“Of course,” I said dryly. “Immediately after, we headed towards the dungeon. It was located under the town’s tavern, aptly named Tavern, and run by Frescan. The Rat King, Krad, was able to form the dungeon because he, and I quote, ‘ate that wizard.’ That turned out to mean he ate a wizard’s spellbook and it sprung up around him. Hopefully, that’s on the list of things the DoD will be looking into soon. His dungeon was up for review halfway through my lockup.”

“Quarantine,” Sophia corrected sharply. “And I’m not here to discuss what may or may not have happened to Krad, as interesting as the subject is. Continue your story.”

“We entered the dungeon, and Ferrisdae took point. I watched as she handled everything in an adequate manner.”

“Is it also true that you produced and offered her a hair band from your dimensional pocket?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. “Because, as she says, you’re a big ole softy?”

“I would think that you, Sophia, of all people, would know what it’s like to have a tail get caught in a trap,” I said, mocking concern. “Wait, no, hair! We’re talking about Ferrisdae and her hair, not any imaginary tail. Shall we continue?”

“Let’s continue, Budger,” she agreed, using the name the Rat King had erroneously called me.

I just ignored that. “We finished that up, and told Krad to expect a follow up in about two weeks time. Hopefully, they could spare someone to send because I do not care for others making me a liar.”

“You will have to bring that up with Brackenhorst when you’re back on the clock,” Sophia said.

“Very well. After Krad’s dungeon, we were told to return to New Frausta, but not before checking out Sevensleg’s dungeon,” I continued, thinking about the giant spider. The Dread Weaver had been removed from the sewers after he had become too powerful, only to run into different problems in his new home. “The Leshies from the Green Union were complaining that he was eating them, and he was complaining that they weren’t bringing him food.

“Ferrisdae handled this as well as I watched to make sure nothing bad happened. She got right in Sevensleg’s face and told him what for. After getting to the heart of the issue, my apprentice sent Bokolako, the minion in charge, back to the Green Union for answers while giving Sevensleg a night pass for the forest, with restrictions.”

“I can’t help but notice that you’ve been letting your apprentice take charge,” Sophia stated. “And without proper on the job training.”

Her words made me scowl, and I rested an arm on the table. “I don’t know who trained her, or what books she studied, but she knew most of it already,” I admitted. “I certainly wasn’t trying to get her to make mistakes so I could pass her off to someone else. That would be horribly unprofessional.”

We stared at each other, but this time I was the one who broke first.

Looking away, I cleared my throat. “We returned to New Frausta to speak with Brackenhorst,” I continued. “He complained about the Laroda Jareet sultanate, the Zaruv Dungeon Cluster, and the Crurak Reef. Oh, and adventurers being attacked by numbers wielded by a blue haired Human. I’m pretty sure that was Himia.”

“Yes, you said so much in your reports,” Sophia said. “There was a conspiracy that you were trying to do so much paperwork that you would bankrupt the Mage’s Guild on parchment and ink costs alone.”

“Don’t be silly, that would never work,” I scoffed. “I’d need far more than a month to be as big a waste of resources as you.”

When the Kitsune was about to retort, Maribelle cleared her throat. “Our time here is limited,” she reminded gently. Sophia looked disgruntled, but crossed her arms and nodded at me to continue.

I did as requested. “Our task was to subjugate the dungeons of the Land Pirate, Raitheus Razorbeak. He had raided the city-state of Berald of some item - they wouldn’t say what - and he absconded with it to the Thousand Year Blizzard. We were supposed to follow, and that meant gaining a boon from the White Wyrm, Oristrella.

“We came here to the Tower the day after, meeting in front of the building. Ferrisdae was accosted by a member of the Half-Pints, and I sent a message to Brackenhorst to deal with it. After waiting entirely too long, we came up to meet you, and you teleported us from an improper location into an empty teleportation chamber.”

Sophia scowled. “Irrelevant to the case.”

“Very relevant, actually, because we learned that the Crystal Snows Mage’s Guild was shut down due to strange readings inside the Thousand Year Blizzard,” I responded. “Right now your indiscretion might be swept under the rug, but we’ll see what happens once everything settles.”

“And then you went to see Oristrella,” she said through her teeth.

“Yes, but not before meeting Cojisto and Moose,” I corrected. “They joined the team who went to save Princess Koritha from the dungeon. I’m not sure if Moose was actually sentient at that point, but that man sure did talk to him like he was.”

“It… is rather perplexing,” Sophia agreed.

“It is. He told us about what happened at Oristella’s dungeon and we went on our way. We met Corez at the entrance,” I said, remembering the large Kobold Warchief. “After discussing recent events happening to the Coldspring Clan, we entered to find that the dungeon had been taken over by the Dungeon Master.”

I released an angry breath as I started rapping on the table with my knuckles. “I won’t go into details because I am, still, quite angry about the complete and utter lack of protocol going on there. We made it through the dungeon in record time, defeated Corez, and came across an exhausted and sleeping dragon in Human form.

“She was clutching onto a magical tablet that showed her books in languages she couldn’t read, but was striving to understand. It was given to her by her suitor and, apparently, boyfriend slash mate.”

“The Dungeon Master,” Sophia said.

“Yes,” I confirmed. “We spoke with her, and she told us that he was the one who brought Razorbeak up here. In order to gain an audience, I had taken her the finished first draft of the final Of Dragons and Dungeons book.”

The Kitsune smirked. “And what did you take it in?”

“A scroll case,” I said with a scowl. “Which apparently was the wrong choice for something so precious. Oristrella and Ferrisdae bonded over bashing me, and I got an earful. Still, it worked out, and she gained not only the boon we were looking for but the White Wyrm’s full blessing. Cold resistance close to immunity, snow and ice sight, cold infusion for spells, and what she called Snow Globe, which repelled snow from us.”

“Quite unprecedented,” Sophia stated, and I could tell there was a hint of jealousy there. The liaison had been the Dungeon Inspector for Oristrella for years before getting her new position and hadn’t received anything like it. Her jealousy only instilled a sense of pride for my apprentice, though I could definitely see where she was coming from.

“Quite. Anyway, we made it back to Crystal Snows to meet with Cojisto and Moose. Ferrisdae invited them along, and they apparently went to the local Adventurer’s Consortium branch in order to make things official, which we learned from Millicef when we called.” I paused. “Which was probably a good thing, though I’ll never tell her that because it was also completely reckless.”

Sighing, I shook my head. “The next morning, the four of us went into the blizzard. We met with Serto Sercrello, the Master of the Crystal Snows Mage’s Guild. He informed us that Razorbeak had left his lead wagon to take out more than a dozen of his men before returning to his dungeon, and we wasted no time getting inside the first wagon.”

“And that’s when you were altered,” Sophia said.

“Yes, that’s where we first met Himia,” I replied with a nod. “After taking all of our gear and equipment, she introduced herself as an Information Elemental. Living data. We were all led into discussions with her one on one, and she described the boosts we received. My class was Dungeon Inspector, because they couldn’t figure out what to do with me. Apparently, I could read intent in people’s auras and create maps that let me see where people are in the dungeon. There may be more, but it didn’t exactly come with a manual.”

“It’s hard teaching an old dog new tricks.”

“Really? You’re making the dog jokes now?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. Her ears twitched, and I waved her off. “What she did to us has already been widely documented by your researchers, so I’m going to skip over the bulk of this conversation. All I’ll say is that she’s the secretary of the Dungeon Master, not really a Human, and had no issues using highly invasive magic to dig into my very person.”

Taking another breath, I calmed myself down. It had been a month, but I was still nettled. Not for myself, but what they did to Ferrisdae.

“We were unceremoniously dumped into what was described as a Story Dungeon. Which, I assume, has been added to the list of types a dungeon can be,” I continued, reining in my voice to sound more neutral. “We found out that the Avians in Razorbeak’s crew were holed up in a nearby mine that the people inside the story were using. It was an actual dungeon with a threshold response and everything, and Ferrisdae coined the term overdungeon for where the DTER wasn’t active.”

The DTER, or Dungeon Threshold Emotional Response, was a feature of the magic as a whole. It was meant to warn people that they were entering somewhere containing potentially life-threatening danger. Normal people were usually scared off, while adventurers were kept alert. The fact that the overdungeon didn’t have this threw both me and my apprentice for a loop, though Cojisto and Moose had noticed its absence sooner than we did.

“What made things stranger was the fact that other dungeons were spread throughout the area,” I said, frowning. “Cojisto found items both magical and mundane where corpses used to be. I later got confirmation from the Dungeon Master himself that he was converting the dungeon’s energy into loot instead of crystals. Where he got that idea, I have no idea.”

“Probably just wanted to be unique,” Sophia guessed.

Shrugging, I stopped rapping on the table to cross my arms. “We met a few people, as well. Gar the blacksmith, Felder Rockcrusher the foreman, and Keith Carr.” I paused, and my frown deepened. “He was a very unpleasant man. Very much a lecherous cretin based on how he treated Ferrisdae. According to the Dungeon Master, it was a recreation of his father. Definitely seems like there’s some deep seated issues there, if he portrayed him like that.”

“Conjecture again, badger,” the Kitsune chastised.

I waved my hand dismissively. “The Dungeon Master’s obelisk had also been in the mines, and Carr had it pulled out to erect in the middle of his camp. Ferrisdae did some research on it when she had time, and I’m sure she did a write up so I’ll skip that as well.”

“Feel free. It’s not like you would understand much of it, anyway.”

Pursing my lips, I let the jab slide past me. “Felder led us to the mine the morning after that,” I said. “We made contact with an Avian who came out to insult us, and after a short scuffle, allowed him to return to warn the others. We didn’t expect anyone to take us up on the offer, but sometimes there’s no reasoning with people. I took part in one combat inside the dungeon, and then complained enough that the Dungeon Master invited me to see him.”

“That’s where you diverged with Ferrisdae, Cojisto, and Moose,” Sophia stated, looking down at the parchment in front of her. “They went on to subjugate the dungeon without you, and you met back up with them after your meeting with the Dungeon Master. Your notes on that discussion were very thorough, so we don’t need to go over that part. Except for the first part.”

“I punched him because of what he did to Ferrisdae,” I scoffed. “Broke his nose. I’m not going to apologize for my actions.”

“Yes, you do act out like a petulant child sometimes, don’t you?” she asked with a smirk.

“As someone without an apprentice, I don’t expect you to understand,” I replied evenly. “Shall we move on?”

“By all means.”

“After a short discussion with Brackenhorst and Director Ortaephaen, we went to subjugate Razorbeak,” I told her. “He and his first mate, a mage named Swiftfeather, had essentially taken over the dungeon. I had given the Dungeon Master strict instructions to let us handle this, and it played out well enough. Aside from the fact that I had to fight a 30-foot-tall time traveling chicken.”

Sophia’s ears twitched and she consulted her parchment. “When you first brought that up for the record, I thought you were making it up, but everyone else corroborated your story.”

“If I was going to make something up, then it sure as Hell wouldn’t be about a giant chicken,” I defended. “Anyways, we fought Razorbeak after closing up the dungeon enough that the pirate and his crew had no choice but to come to us. We won, that’s all that happened.”

“That’s not all that happened,” Sophia chastised.

I scowled. “Ferrisdae’s enhancements and lack of casting made her a prime target for mana drain,” I admitted. “She cast a spell to save me from Swiftfeather, and ended up emptying her wellspring. After feeding her three potions, risking sickness, I had to take… drastic measures.”

“More like insane measures.”

“I did what I had to, okay?” I huffed, slamming my hand onto the table. “If I didn’t shove that magic into her, then there was a very real chance that she wouldn’t be here today. It was the only option we had.”

Sophia watched me carefully before giving me a slow nod. “You obviously feel very strongly about this.”

“There was already going to be too much paperwork, I didn’t want to add any more to my load,” I deflected, looking away from the Kitsune and Maribelle.

There was more, but I hadn’t told anyone about my discussion with Cheroske, the Goddess of Community. She had gotten us out of the dimensional trap I left us in when I poured the dungeon’s magic into Ferrisdae, something I was very thankful for. I was only planning on sharing that with my wife, far from the magical sensors in the Mage’s Guild.

“Okay. Your summation of the subjugation is rather patchy, but it seems as though you remember most of the big events,” Sophia said after mulling it over. She began rolling up the parchment.

“I damn well wrote a book on everything that happened,” I scoffed. “If you want a better idea of my thoughts and observations, go and read that again.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” she said as she started standing up. “Final approval for the release of Dungeon Inspector Badger has been granted, Maribelle. Please lead him to where he can pick up his things.”

“Yes, Lady Blair,” Maribelle replied immediately. “Inspector, if you’ll please follow me.”

I stood up to follow her. Sophia was still taking care of the things she brought, and I stopped beside her. “Okay, no bullshit,” I said. “How is Ferrisdae doing?”

The Kitsune looked down at me, no doubt ready with some biting comment, before sighing. “She’s better than she was,” Sophia admitted. “Ferry spent a lot of time with a therapist over her wellspring being altered. It’s irreversible, so she has to get used to it if she wants to continue doing magic.”

“I assume therapy is ongoing?” I asked, noting how quickly Ferrisdae had turned to Ferry once Sophia was no longer interrogating me.

She nodded. “Yes. She still wants to work for the DoD, so she’s been given a Communications Mirror. I believe she’ll be required to attend sessions at least once a week, likely in evenings. As her mentor, you’ll find this out eventually so I don’t mind telling you. It’ll be up to her to make sure she makes the sessions, but you have to help with that.”

“Anything I can do, I will,” I replied with determination. Setting my jaw, I eked out my next words. “Thank you, Sophia.”

“Wow, you really like this junior of yours, don’t you?” the Kitsune teased. “You better do what you can to keep hold of her, tooth and nail, because I’m going to recruit her eventually.”

“Good luck with that,” I said sarcastically. “Anyway, I’m going to spend time with my family. Send me a message when Ferrisdae is ready to be released and I’ll come and get her.”

Sophia put on a wolfish grin, and I felt a shiver run through my spine. “No need for that, she’s already been released. Not even two days ago, in fact,” she informed me before leaning in. “I left her in the care of your dear wife, Tabitha. The girl’s night we had was simply divine, and the chances to swap tales doubly so. She was very keen to hear more about you, Badger, and we were happy to tell her. Enjoy your freedom!”

Scowling, I shook my head and walked towards Maribelle. “I’m ready to go home now,” I said through grit teeth. I could only guess what kind of topics Sophia decided to share.

“Of course, Inspector,” the Human replied before leading me out of the rooms I had spent this last month in.

Behind me, the fox radiated smugness. For the first time in a long time, she had gotten the last laugh.