While Dad and Tara talked, I retreated to the safety of my room. Here, I could finally be alone and get online to talk to others. By now, my laptop was getting old. It was never a good model anyways and had been repaired a few times. Not to mention how many chargers I had gone through. Still, it worked and I logged into my instant messenger account. Mel was online, perfect. I could tell her what was going on.

HHHFan91: Mel, you there?

QueenMelDraws: I’m here Princess, you make it home ok?

HHHFan91: Princess?

QueenMelDraws: Yup, Princess. It’s your new nickname. You really loved that princess shirt you got earlier, so now you’re my adorable Princess.

HHHFan91: Um, thank you Mel. That’s really sweet. But I’ve got a bit of an issue.

QueenMelDraws: What is it?

HHHFan91: My sister is here.

QueenMelDraws: I thought she was like, down in Boston or something? Why is she there?

HHHFan91: She said she was homesick, but I think there’s more to it than she’s saying. I can’t tell what it is though. But she’s here for the whole weekend, so I can’t come up there again.

QueenMelDraws: Great, just what we needed. I got your clothes here, so don’t worry. She doesn’t need to know about this. Your secret is safe with me.

HHHFan91: Thanks Mel, I know it is. I’m kinda stressed out so I’m gonna go watch some anime and cool off. TTYL.

QueenMelDraws: Ok TTYL.

With that, I opened my browser and opened my favorite anime streaming site. I sat back and started watching One Piece. It was a comfort show and it was so long, I doubted I’d ever finish it. Still, it gave me a good chance to binge watch. So I caught a couple episodes before being called down for dinner. Apparently Mom knew Tara was coming tonight, as she made a whole roasted chicken with rice and green beans! It was a really yummy meal. 

As we ate, we talked about normal things. Dad loved to talk about his work, whether he was complaining about the guy he shared an office with, or gushing about how much he loved calibration work. It was a really good job too, he helped save lives by working with defibrillators. Those are those paddle things you see in medical dramas that they use to shock people’s hearts. He was really proud of that. Mom drove a local city bus route. It wasn’t much, but it was good work and she mostly enjoyed it just fine.

After we finished eating, I helped to clear the table and washed a few dishes. When all of that was done, I went to go to my room but Tara stopped me before I could get there.

“Michael, hold up a second,” she said.

I looked back at her. “Yeah? What’s up Tara?”

“Can we just talk? Privately? I’m tired of us being strangers, I want us to actually be siblings again. Like when we were kids…” There was sadness in her eyes, and her voice. Something told me she was serious and needed someone to talk to.

“Oh, uh, sure. Let’s go to my room then, we can talk there,” I said, motioning to the bedroom.

So the two of us went in. My bedroom was a decent size, with my flat screen tv on top of my dresser, a desk, a chair and of course, my bed. I sat on the bed and she pulled up the chair, so we were looking right at each other. We sat there for a long minute, just looking at each other and waiting for the other to speak up. Finally, I broke the silence.

“Here we are,” I said. “So, what did you wanna talk about? You said you wanted things to be like when we were kids, to be siblings again. I won’t lie, that’s not gonna be easy. You and me, we fell apart. We have our own lives now. What makes you think we can put it all back together?”

“I never said it would be easy Michael!” she snapped. “But I have to try! I can’t go on like this, not after, after he…”

“After who? What are you talking about Tara?” I asked, confused.

“RODNEY!” she shouted. Time seemed to stop for a moment, neither of us made a move after that. Luckily, no one else seemed to hear. She took a deep breath. “Rodney is, was, my boyfriend. We met at the club a few months ago. He seemed so charming back then, but Samantha instantly distrusted him. She said he seemed like a sleazebag. I figured it was just cause she didn’t like guys. I should have listened! God I was such an idiot!”

“Oh, sounds like it didn’t end well then.” I said, trying to sound sympathetic.

“That’s putting it mildly. Things started out pretty good. He seemed really nice and everything, but I started noticing him giving me these backhanded compliments. Saying stuff like how much prettier I’d be if I lost weight, or how he told me he doesn’t normally go for girls like me. It seemed odd at the time, but I mostly brushed it off. And he only seemed to come over when he wanted something from me, mainly sex. I thought this was normal for this stage of our relationship and we’d move past it eventually.

That was until the other day, when I got a call from his phone. But instead of him, it was a woman on the other end. She asked who I was and explained that she was Rodney’s girlfriend. That was impossible though, I was his girlfriend! Wasn’t I? Turns out, he’d already been seeing her for a year. A lot longer than I’d been seeing him! So he was cheating on her with me and I had no idea!

To make matters worse, she started cussing me out! She was accusing me of trying to steal her man! I tried to tell her that, before now, I had no idea she existed. Eventually I managed to convince her I was gonna dump the bastard and that she should do the same! Neither of us deserved this at all!” She was on the verge of tears at this point.

“Wow, that’s horrible! I’m so sorry Tara. He sounds like a complete jackass! Is this why you came home? Because of him?” She nodded. I was a bit unsure what to do here. “Um, do you need a hug?”

She pulled me into a tight hug. Honestly, after all this time, it felt nice to hug my sister again. So I embraced her as she started to sob into my shoulder. I rubbed her back as she just held me there and cried. I really started to feel bad now. She had just gone through all of this, her boyfriend keeping such a big secret from her. It made me feel even more guilty over hiding what I had done that morning. I had been doing so well, but now I was really feeling the pressure.

When she was finally done crying, I helped her over to the bed to sit with me. “Are you ok sis?” I asked, gently.

“Yeah, I think so,” she sniffled. “I just, I really needed to get that out of my system. Thank you for listening to me Michael, you’re a really good brother.”

In that moment, it felt like her words stabbed me straight through the heart. How could I be a good brother after all of this? I hadn’t done anything to deserve those words! If anything, the opposite was true! I was a terrible person for what I had done! Before I knew it, tears were starting to flow down my face. No! I had to stop them before…

“Michael?” Tara asked, sounding concerned.

“I, I’m fine. Really. I just, um, got something in my eye is all…” I lied.

“Michael, what's going on? Are you alright?” she asked.

“I, um, no. No, I'm not ok. Tara, listen. I, I have a confession to make here. I’m sorry, I know the timing is shitty. You just laid out all this stuff you’ve been going through and I know it's rough. But I have to get this off my chest.”

“It’s ok Michael,” she said. “If it’s that big of a deal, you can tell me. I promised I’d always be here to listen when you wanted to talk and I meant it.”

I took a deep breath. “Listen, Tara, I’m so sorry! I, I broke my promise to you!”

She looked at me, confused. “Huh? What promise?”

“You, you don’t remember?” Now it was my turn to be confused. “Back when you caught me in your dress, I promised I’d never wear women’s clothes again!”

She thought for a moment before answering. “Oh yeah, that promise! I remember now. Gosh, that was a long time ago. Has it really almost been 10 years? I’m surprised you managed to keep it for this long. I’m sorry, that must have been difficult.”

“You aren’t mad?” I was surprised by how casual her response was. Had she really forgotten it and forgiven me so easily?

“Well it’s not like you stole them again, right? If you did, then I’d be mad.” she said in a firm tone.

“No! No no, I didn’t steal them! I um, I bought them. It’s kind of a long story…”

“Lucky for you, we got all the time we need right now. Why don’t you explain it to me? What made you decide to do it again, after all these years?” She asked. 

She seemed sincere about this. Something in her eyes told me that I could trust her. Not like I could hold it back now anyways. So I sighed and began to spill my guts. I told her how the urges never went away, how I’d gotten into things online and began to consider myself a femboy and how that led me to meeting Mel. Then I explained how, earlier that day, the two of us went shopping at the thrift store to buy me some girl’s clothing.

“I just couldn’t help myself! Some of those clothes were so pretty! I spent a decent chunk of change on all of it. I’m so sorry Tara, I never wanted to break my promise. You probably think I’m some kind of pervert or something…”

To my surprise, she pulled me into another hug! “Shh, don’t say that about yourself. You’re not a pervert just for liking girl’s clothes. I understand, you’re just confused. That’s ok, there’s nothing wrong with that. Actually, I might know some folks who can help you with all of this!”

“You do?” I asked. “Like who? Jarod?”

“No, I don’t think Jarod would really be best in this case,” she said. “He’s great and all but this isn’t really an issue he can help with. However, I do know some folks who went through similar stuff to what you described. Let me make a couple calls and see what I can do. Stay here, I’ll be right back.”

With that, she left the room. I sat there, dumbfounded. Was it really this easy? She forgave me, just like that. After everything I did, all the secrets I kept, she just wanted to help me. Why? What did I do to deserve this kind of support? She should hate me! Lord knew I hated me at that moment. I was just some sick freak, getting his jollies from wearing women’s clothes. Clothes that I wasn’t supposed to wear or enjoy at all! So why was she helping me? Was she really helping me? Or was this all some kind of sick joke? My mind was racing with these thoughts.

A few minutes later, she came back in. “Alright, so I talked to a couple of my friends. How do you feel about taking a trip tomorrow?”

“What kind of trip?” I asked, cautiously.

“Well one of my friends is available, and she’s willing to talk to you. It just has to be in person. There’s this pizza place near my old college we like to hang out at, we’d be meeting her there for lunch tomorrow.”

“And you think this friend can help me?” I was still unsure about this.

“Well let’s just say she knows how you feel. I can’t say too much more here, but if you’ll agree to meet her, she can tell you herself. What do you say?” she asked, holding up her phone.

I sighed. “If you really think she can help, then fine. I’ll meet her. Can you at least tell me her name? Or is that too much info?”

She laughed. “Ok, you got me there. Her name is Penelope, we met back in college. She’s a good friend, just be respectful of her. She’s got a germ phobia, so she’s a bit sensitive about cleanliness. You two are actually about the same age as well, so you should be able to get along nicely.”

“If you say so sis,” I shrugged. I wasn’t too thrilled about all of this, but it was worth a shot at least.

Tara sent a message to Penelope, letting her know it was on for the next day. With that, she gave me one last hug and went off to her room for the night. So once again, I was alone with my thoughts. I collapsed onto my bed, this was exhausting! I couldn’t believe I had just spilled my guts to Tara and told her everything. Yet, she’d been so kind about it. Did she really mean it when she said this person could help? Ugh, this was so confusing! I got back online and just watched some more anime until it was bedtime.

That night, despite being so tired, I could barely sleep. My mind kept turning with all the different possibilities. Who was this Penelope? Would she really help? Or was I just being set up to be humiliated? Combined with all the stress of telling Tara my secrets, sleep did not come easy. Eventually though, it did come and I passed out. I don’t think I even dreamed that night, as the next thing I remember was Tara coming in to wake me up.

“Hey sleepyhead, get up! Come on, you gotta get ready or we’ll be late!” she said as she shook me awake.

“Ok, ok, I’m up! Ugh, what time is it?” I groaned.

“It’s half past time for you to get up, now move it!” she said more forcefully this time.

I just groaned again and threw the blankets off myself. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand, it was about 11:30 in the morning. I was usually the type to wake up at noon, mornings and I didn’t really mix. Not to mention, I only had a few hours of sleep. I’m pretty sure the sun was starting to rise by the time I finally fell asleep. But I dragged myself to the bathroom to start the day regardless. After splashing myself with some cold water to wake up a bit more, I hopped in the shower to clean up. Once that was done, I dried myself off and got dressed. By now, it was about noon time. Tara was waiting for me downstairs.

“Well look what the cat dragged in,” she said with a smirk.

“Yea yea, whatever. Can we just get this over with?” I complained.

"I'm surprised you're not wearing any of your new clothes Mikey," her smirk grew wider.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny sis. I told you, Mel has them."

"A shame, I was gonna do your makeup for you and everything" she feigned a sigh.

My face turned a deep shade of red. “Umm, maybe you could still do just a little bit? I mean, if it wont show too much that is…”

Her eyes widened. “Are you serious right now?” 

I nodded. I hadn’t had a chance to wear makeup in so long, the thought of having it done properly for once sent a chill down my spine. Lucky for us, Mom and Dad had already taken off for the day. Dad was putting in overtime and Mom still had a bus route to drive. So I sat down in a chair while Tara got out her makeup kit. I was both nervous and excited for this!

“So, have you ever considered using a different name when you dress up?” Tara asked as she got the makeup out.

“What do you mean?” I responded.

“Well if you’re gonna dress up as a girl, shouldn’t you have a girl’s name? I think it might be useful,” She got out a tube of something and put a bit on her finger.

“I um, I guess I hadn’t really thought much of it. What is that you got there?” I quickly changed the subject.

“Ah, this is just some primer. Consider this a base coat for what we’re gonna do here.” she said as she started applying it to my face.

“I see, I’ve never used this stuff before. So it’s kinda like priming a wall to be painted or something?” I asked.

“Something like that,” she said as she finished it up. “You didn’t really answer my question though. Would you like some help in picking out a name? I can probably think of a few off the top of my head.”

Of course she would switch it back. “Fine, if you must. Like I said, I didn’t really think much of it before now. But I suppose it would be helpful to have one. What do you got for names?”

She pulled out a small jar of skin tone colored powder and a large brush. “Well, going off of Michael there’s a few possibilities. Micah is gender neutral and could be a nice nickname. Could just do Mia, short and sweet. Millie is a cute name too. Oh and what about Michelle? That’s the female equivalent for Michael,” she kept making suggestions as she applied the powder to my face with the brush.

“Wait,” I said. “What was that last one again? Michelle?”

“Yes, that’s right,” she said. “Why? Do you like that one?”

“Hmm, Michelle, Michelle,” I rolled the name around in my head a bit. “It’s got a nice ring to it. Yeah, I kinda like it. I think I’ll go with that for now. But please keep it between us, ok? I can’t exactly dress up for this trip.”

“Fair enough,” she said as she put the brush down. “It’ll be our little secret until you’re ready. By the way, what I just used for you was the foundation. It evens out your skin tone and gives a nice canvas to work off of. Next up, a bit of concealer to hide your blemishes. That includes those bags under your eyes.”

“Hey! It’s not my fault I slept like shit last night! I tried to go to bed at a reasonable time, but it just didn’t work!” I shot back.

She chuckled. “No matter. We’ll have those covered up in no time. As well as your pimples. Seriously, do you ever wash your face?”

“Sometimes,” I lied.

She just shook her head and started applying a bit of concealer to all the spots that needed it, then blended them in by hand. Next up, she took out another brush and a jar of red colored powder.

“This is blush, or rouge as some people call it. I know you probably used this before, but we’re gonna be very sparing in our use of it today. It’s just gonna add a bit of color to your cheeks,” she said as she carefully applied it.

“It won’t show too much, right?” I asked. “Cause I really don’t want people to see that I’m wearing makeup here.”

“Ah quit whining, you’re fine. It’s gonna look good when I’m done, just trust me. I know what I’m doing here.”

Once that was done, she brought out a tube of mascara. This one required no explanation, as I had used it plenty of times myself in the past. But her skills far exceeded my own, as she deftly applied it to both my upper and lower lashes. I followed her instructions without question, as I knew she could easily poke my eyes out with it if I didn’t. Luckily, it was over fairly quickly.

“Now then, one last touch,” she said as she pulled out a tube of lip gloss. “Pucker up girly!”

I blushed, but did as she instructed. I pursed my lips as she applied the gloss to them. Once that was done, she had me bite down on a tissue to remove any excess.

“There we go!” She said with a big grin on her face. “Take a look at the new you!”

She took out a small hand mirror from the bag and handed it to me. Wow! Was that really me? It didn’t really stand out all that much, but from what I could see, I looked great! My skin tone was more even, though with a bit of color in my cheeks. My lips were nice and shiny and the mascara made my eyes pop.

“Wow,” I managed to say. “You’re really good at this! I actually look kinda pretty…” My cheeks went red with embarrassment, but I was loving every second of this!

“Heh, you’re welcome Michelle,” she said.

There was that name again. Something about it felt really good to me. Especially at that moment, with makeup on my face. It almost felt right. 

“Ready to go Michelle?” she said, still smiling.

Damn that still felt good. “Yeah, I’m ready. Let’s go!”

Chapter 7 End