An army of chickens…. damn it
Demon lord featherlight by X237
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So, I have an annoying system that may or may not be sadistic. I’m a swan of all animals and a black one to boot. So, no idea if I’m cursed or whatever. I also have a spawner which I have a feeling spawns friendly units based on how the system referred to them and wants me to take over the world. You do need an army to do that after all. Not to mention the only option for the spawner right now is chickens.
 
I repeat. CHICKENS.
 
How absolutely fucking useless. How the hell will chickens help take over the world? Maybe if they were karate chickens but I have a feeling they aren’t. This drastically drops my chances of completing the mission and I’ll end up a slave to whatever the hell messed up ideas the system thinks of as conditioning and torture. Fucked up man.
 
[System advises you to place spawner at a strategically sound location and select the chickens for the spawn setting.]
 
Yeah, I know I know! Just let me get my thoughts together first.
 
[Initiating mind shock in 3. 2-]
 
Okay, I’m moving! I’m moving! Jeez!
 
With that, I started waddling my way through the forest. I’m a swan so my feet are designed for swimming not walking which makes my gait rather awkward. So, I needed a base by a body of water. Preferably a deep and wide river. That way a source of water for drinking, cleaning, and irrigation (If I could figure out how to farm with fucking wings for arms!) will be much simpler. If I was doing this world domination I would do it goddamn well damn, it!
 
After a few minutes of searching the sound of running water filled my ears. There was at least some sort of running water which was good enough for me! I quickly waddled towards the source of the sound since I was incapable of running. I soon found myself at a river that must have been 20 or 30 feet wide and who knows how deep. It was somewhat murky but that didn’t matter. I rushed forward to examine the area to see if it fulfilled my requirements for the beginning of an umm town of chickens.
 
A good-sized river for water and a potential port? Check. A close source of wood? Check. A source of stone and alloys…
 
I glanced around and spotted what looked like a small mountain up the river. It was grey in color meaning it most likely had some type of stone. Hopefully a usable one. As for alloys I wouldn’t know until I searched it. But this was probably the best area he could find. If he could figure out a way to make a quarry upstream at the mountain, he could use the river to transport materials. Again, if he could find a way to build a boat. Too bad he couldn’t be a human and summon fellow humans because that would make all this much more achievable.
 
[Humans are inferior.]
 
….
 
I won’t even start.
 
[The system advises you to use your skill points and mutation points.]
 
Well, why didn’t you tell me earlier!? Open it up and let me do it already!
 
[Current skills: Peck level 1 (Common); Swimming level 1 (Common); Flying level 1 (Common); Intimidate level 1 (Common); Daring level 1 (Common)
 
Available skills: Forceful bite (Common)
 
Available skill points: 3
 
Current mutable biology: Wings level 1 (Default); Beak level 1 (Default); Webbed feet level 1 (Default); Eyes level 1 (Default); Feathers level 1
(Default); Skin level 1 (Default); Hollow skeleton level 1 (Default)
 
Available mutation points: 3
 
Available mutations: Fangs (Common)
 
The system notes that it costs 1 point to purchase a new mutation/skill and will cost 2 points to go from lvl1 to lvl 2 and 3 points to go from lvl 2 to lvl 3 and so on.]
 
Huh. Handy to know… I might as well purchase both available things. Although I’m going to look like one messed up swan with teeth and all in my beak. But hey it’ll work well with the bite skill. Now as for the other points I’ll first upgrade my flying skill because fuck it all I want to be able to fly away quicker from my enemies. Then there’s the skeleton which I’ll upgrade to avoid my bones being broken. That is something infamously bad about bird bones that I’ve heard after all.
 
With those purchased its finally time to place down my spawner and place the chicken spawn into it. I went a few feet away from the river and…. Just stood there. I have no absolute idea of what I should be doing right now. Damn it why doesn’t this fucking system have a
guidebook or whatever!?
 
[Do you wish to place the spawner at this spot? Y/N]
 
Yes of course! At least it knows when to do something so far. And hasn’t chosen to hurt me again.
 
When I answered yes to the question a pure black egg-shaped object that looked to be possibly around 5 inches tall if my size was anywhere around how big swans of my world are. I went over to it and grabbed it with my beak to try lifting it up and despite straining with all my might I couldn’t budge it. What the hell man. What’s this thing made of to be so heavy? I guess I’ll be stuck here and can’t run away with the spawner even if an emergency comes up. Let’s hope these chickens are worth it….
 
[Place chicken spawn in spawner? Y/N]
 
Yes! Give me my pathetic chicken army! I shall finally show you just how pitiful chickens really are as foot soldiers you damnable system! A small ball of light manifested itself in front of me and floated into the egg causing it to turn pure white before dimming to a slight glow and a new notification popped up from the system. One I didn’t exactly expect.
 
[Species: Monster chicken
 
Intelligence: 5
 
Will: 5
 
Strength: 10
 
Toughness: 5
 
Agility: 8
 
Perception: 10
 
Endurance: 10
 
Charisma: 0
 
HP: 10/10
 
MP: 0/0
 
You can summon 30 chickens on a daily basis with a 10% chance to summon a unique variant such as chicken mage, chicken scholar, karate chicken, etc.]
 
…..
 
You have got to be kidding me. There’s actually a karate chicken? But wow their stats are better than I thought they’d be and with 30 a day that could grow rather quickly… No John don’t change your mind about chickens! They’re just chickens for crying out loud! Not soldiers! Besides a chicken scholar is just an insult to scholars of all worlds!
 
[Would you like to summon your daily chickens? Y/N]
 
Yes. I need some meat shields to survive after all.
 
With that, the eggs glow grew brighter and one by one average-sized chickens with orange feathers stepped out of the egg marching in a single file line before lining up in a straight line in front of me. All at once they raised their right wings and saluted me while uttering a single synchronized cluck.
 
…..
 
Wow. I never expected this. They actually seem…. Disciplined. Not as much of idiots as I had previously expected from what I knew about chickens. But that doesn’t change the fact that chickens are weak! I now have 30 hench-chickens so what’s next? Build houses? I don’t even have hands much less thumbs! The same goes for these chickens so they won’t be of any use. Oh, wait the damned system mentioned getting points for killing stuff. So, I suppose we will go out and try killing stuff! Do I get KP for the kills my hench-chickens make?
 
[Yes. All kills KP made by subordinates are given to the host unless specific customizations are made.]
 
Perfect! Now I won’t have to risk myself as much. Onwards my plucky meat shields! Tonight, we kill!
 
And with that, I led the chickens towards the forest. At least I tried to before noticing that they were just standing there. Ah, I suppose I haven’t given them any orders.
 
[TEN OF YOU FEATHERED BIRD BRAINS FOLLOW ME TO THE FOREST TO HUNT! TH REST STAY AND GUARD THE EGG!] I honked at them. Ten of them automatically scrambled to follow my orders while the others encircled the egg glaring at anything that wasn’t a chicken or a swan. Even the rocks!
 
What idiots… That’s right I have a general! Mind as well summon that guy so he can join the other chickens in guarding the egg. Even if there are twenty of them, they are rather weak looking.
 
[Would you like to use one goose general summoning card? Y/N]
 
Once I confirmed it another glowing ball of light manifested itself before growing in size and brightness to the point me and the chickens all had to look away to avoid getting blinded. When it finally dimmed down it revealed goose with a mixture of brown feathers and white spots
for its plumage. Not only that but it was barely half my size which meant I’m still the largest and most likely powerful bird of them all.
 
[Species: Monster goose
 
Intelligence: 10
 
Will: 15
 
Strength: 15
 
Toughness: 10
 
Agility: 10
 
Perception: 10
 
Endurance: 10
 
Charisma: 5
 
HP: 120/20
 
MP: 0/0]

Well, at least his stats aren’t that bad. After commanding the goose general to stay and protect the egg spawner I went with my 10 chickens to go hunting in the forest. We managed to only walk a few minutes away from the base before we encountered something. Rabbits. Rabbits with antlers. Disembodied voice that’s a system. Ok. Chicken soldiers. Alright. Rabbits with antlers? What the absolute fuck!?

Aren’t wild rabbits super mean!? I once saw a video of one fighting of a hawk and now there’s rabbits that have antlers to skewer me with!?
This is not right! Ok, let's just go back to base! We can choose easier prey!
 
[Mission building your foundation: Kill 5 rabbits to show the superiority of birds over rabbits.
 
Rewards: 100 KP and 50 XP plus one random free skill.
 
Time limit: 1 day.
 
Penalty: Severe mental pain equal to having your nails pulled off one by one for a period of 5 hours.]
 
Ah, fuck me….
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