Ancient Greece knew three things. Mt. Olympus was where the gods lived. Humans weren’t allowed, or even able to reach the peak above the clouds. Finally, there was a small group of gods who stood above the others.

The Olympians. The most powerful of the gods. The ones with followers dedicated to them specifically. Numerous temples were constructed for their glory. In charge of the known world. And currently, looking for their latest member.

The Olympians sat at a rectangular table that took up most of the room. A color-coordinated pillar stood parallel behind each seat. Notability, Zeus with lightning yellow as the head of the table. And the transparent pillar with an empty seat at the end of the right side.

“Any suggestions?” He asked.

Hera, to his left with a regal purple dress and pillar, said nothing. Athena, to Zeus’ right in a platinum seat, raised a hand. Ares, further down the table dressed in dark red, was the first to speak.

“I recommend Thanatos,” he said. “The god of death would be a good fit. He is fast and accurate. Furthermore, he would help in balancing out our current group.”

Most of the gods looked at him either with confusion. Or with annoyance. Apollo, whose sun-orange pillar was the brightest, laughed at him.

“What’s so funny?”

“You,” Apollo said harshly, “not paying attention.”

“Thanatos is under Hades’ jurisdiction.” Athena informed her sibling, “Hades is already a member.”

“Someone should tell him that,” Hera whispered to Poseidon.

Opposite the ocean blue, was the only other empty seat. A pitch black pillar and chair. Its only current use was Apollo’s footrest.

Athena continued, “It’d be like Eros becoming a member with Aphrodite still here.”

Aphrodite snapped awake after hearing her son’s name.

“Huh?”

“Go back to sleep, the adults are talking,” Artemis chimed in.

The two sat across from each other. Artemis, next to her sunny brother, had braided hair as white as the moon. Aphrodite, two seats from Poseidon, twiddled with her Valentine pink hair.

Aphrodite spoke coyly, “Big talk coming from a little bear.”

Artemis spoke sharply, “Go drown in the ocean.”

Poseidon chuckled at the insult. Apollo tried to hide his laugh from Aphrodite. Athena & Hera didn’t laugh at all. Zeus stopped laughing once he saw his wife and eldest daughter weren’t laughing.

Ares got the meeting back on track, “Olympians, please. This bickering isn’t going to solve anything.”

“I agree,” Athena added, “it’s exactly why we have an open seat to begin with.”

“She started it!” Aphrodite rolled her eyes.

Artemis offered a middle finger. Apollo kept rocking in his chair. Athena looked to the one Olympian who hadn’t said a word.

Hephaestus, sitting between Poseidon & Aphrodite, continued to work on his contraption. A small gear-powered box. It was about the size of a large apple. What was it? Only Hephaestus knew. And only Hephaestus cared.

He was the only god without hair. On his head anyway. His bronze brown beard was a more well-trimmed version of Zeus’ golden curls.

“How about someone who can bring order to the table?” Athena offered, “Hephaestus, do you have any ideas?”

Hephaestus didn’t even look up, “No.”

“Thanks for the valuable input,” Hera said.

“Hate you too, Mom.”

“Queen Hera,” she corrected. “Perhaps you can build a device that will help you show respect?”

Still not looking at her, “Is that an order? Your Highness?”

Zeus tried again. He sat up straight. This time, he spoke with more authority in his tone.

“Enough! If you all don’t have anything to offer other than petty squabbles, then leave.”

The gods all stayed put. Apollo sat straight when Zeus eyed him. Poseidon wiped the smirk from his face. Hephaestus tapped his box, teleporting it back to his workshop. Even Aphrodite & Artemis stopped glaring at each other.

“Hestia left because of this…discourse. Demeter & Persephone want nothing to do with us because there is no order. If we are truly the best of the gods, we must find a way to act like it! Otherwise, the chaos will get worse.”

The front doors flew open! A gust of wind entered the room. A set of footsteps followed.

A bombastic and theatrical call hit the Olympian’s ears. A hauntingly smooth voice. Like a snake’s hiss.

“Through chaos, comes order!”

Enter mistress discourse. Enter lady chaos. Enter the goddess, Eris.

She waltzed into the room, heading straight to the empty, transparent seat. Her hair was a shimmering reflection of the night sky. Black with the stars spread out.

Eris jumped on top of the chair like a trampoline. Turning it and the pillar into a planetarium for a moment. Luckily it didn’t break under her effort. But the loud crack did contradict her high bounce.

Eris floated back down. Her galaxy hair swayed like a feather. Her body was laid back. Her legs crossed, and her hands behind her head. Her golden dress left a trail of glitter.

“Your search is over, family! I, Eris, daughter of Hera & Zeus, am here! And I happily accept the role of 11th Olympian!”

Artemis & Apollo both say, “Blow it out your ass, Eris.”

Eris unceremoniously dropped to the table. The thud knocked over a few glasses. Hephaestus & Athena were the only two to hold or move their items when the table shook.

Zeus & Hera were staring forward in rage.

Eris argued, “Ares literally wanted Death at the table!”

Athena twirled a finger. From the whirlwind, transparent owl feathers formed. Soon, there was a living glass owl on her finger.

“Mind picking up for me, dear?” Athena asked her pet.

As the owl played maid, Athena played teacher.

“Well, Eris, Ares’ recommendation was based on the person's skill. A good pick, just unable to join due to a technicality.”

Ares’ chest puffed with pride, “Exactly!”

Eris backstroked on the table. Its hard surface turned to liquid for her. But she remained dry. Some of the ‘pool’ did splash onto Ares though.

Aphrodite moved further away from the steaming Ares. Inevitably slipping on some water and falling out of her chair.

Eris talked and swam, “It doesn’t really matter what you back up players have to say. Father is in charge. And unlike some of his children,” Eris kicked in Apollo & Artemis’ direction. Splashing them both. “I have seniority.”

Apollo had to hold Artemis back. Yes, he wanted to see her beat Eris to a pulp. There was just a different outcome. One Eris was fast approaching.

Hephaestus moved his chair back from the table. Leaving Eris to toy with Poseidon. Getting the ocean god wet would be redundant. So she instead dove into the table. Vanishing from sight.

Ares had enough curiosity to check under the table. She wasn’t there. To no one’s surprise.

Her voice appeared behind Hephaestus, “I’m much more attractive than my brothers. Not a hard bar to beat.”

She emerged from under her uncle’s chair. Lifting Poseidon in the air with one arm. Then dropping him, breaking the chair's legs. In an awaiting pile of sand.

Eris skipped around her stoic mother. She gave her livid father a nice pat on the back. Then, she danced over an annoyed Athena before landing in Hades’ empty seat.

She gifted her big sister Hephaestus’ gearbox. With all the gears gone. And Athena’s pet owl inside.

“Glaux!” Athena broke the box freeing her owl. Quickly comforting the shaking animal. “It’s ok sweetie!”

Eris asked nonchalantly, “So, when do I begin?”

Zeus & Hera said nothing. They just grabbed her by the ankles and threw her out. Hera at least watched Eris bump down the flight of stairs. Zeus just waited for his wife to come inside. Then locked the door.

Eris, once she stopped bouncing, pondered something. Not ‘why they didn’t select her’. Or even ‘should she apologize’. Oh no.

As she lay upside down in a bush, Eris thought of how she would live up to her reputation. What could she do to bring the Olympians the most discord? What would bring in the most chaos?

The answer was simple. A quick trip to Arcadia. A check-in on a family secret.

End