“Sooo~,” Eris sang, “How’d it go~?”

She laid back on a cow like a couch. Tapping her foot to the rhythm it stepped. Letting Apollo’s cow take her up the hill. A hill she could easily fly up.

She was in her ‘human form’. Fancy dress swapped out for a farmer's garb. Sun hat covering most of her face. A stick of wheat in her mouth.

Hermes was leading two of the cows back to the ranch by his lyre’s tune. He & Eris were halfway up the hill. A rope tied the two cows to his waist.

“Well, King Zeus told me to take a bath. Queen Hera instructed me to put the cows back. And Apollo hates me.”

Hermes had a more presentable tunic. It had a copper-colored skirt half. A white top with the same copper stitching pattern. Finally, a belt buckle like a ram’s head.

Hermes’ pet Ram liked the belt the most.

“Sounds about right,” Eris said. “Anyone else know about you?”

“Like the servants that stitched my clothes in a day?” Hermes joked.

Eris got off the cow at the top of the hill. The temple and ranch were in sight. So, Eris got into character.

Her skin sagged and wrinkles came in. Her gold hair greyed and her muscles withered. She pulled a walking stick from under the ground to help with the sudden hunch.

The fake farmer spoke in a voice as aged as she was, “You got some strong legs, sunny boy! Herding these cows like my only son used to. Of course, he wanted to get some education. Off to Athens he went! Bah! Who needs books!? That’s what's wrong with this generation! Too many books!”

Hermes was as entertained as he was confused.

“What in the Gods’ names are you blathering about?” He asked with a snicker.

“I’m a method actor!” Eris said. Still doing her ‘old farmer voice’, “You gotta be convincing, kid. The key to any good scam is self-confidence. You gotta buy what ya selling! Otherwise, ain’t nobody gonna buy what you sell them!”

Hermes was more confused now. He understood the point of a successful trick. He’d pulled those off. But he just didn’t get why Eris was in disguise.

“And who’re you scamming?” Hermes asked. “Apollo already knows I’m coming.”

Eris answered, “Yeah, but you ain’t gettin' paid.”

A temple worker had met them halfway. The first thing Hermes saw was Apollo’s symbol of a golden lyre on his sleeve. The first thing the worker noticed was the tortoiseshell lyre Hermes had.

“You think you’re going to impress Lord Apollo with that,” he said to Hermes.

Hermes was about to comment on the man’s lack of muscles. But Eris, in character, got her words out before he could. So loudly that it grabbed the ranch cows’ attention.

“You watch your mouth, young man! This sprout saved my life! Couple of cows, bigger than bulls, come stampeding through my house! He calms ‘em down with that reptile harp-looking thing, and boom! They’re happier than a cat in a fish market!”

Hermes walked the cows up and into the enclosed pasture. Still listening to the yard Eris span. Trying not to laugh as the man backpedaled.

“Now, ma’am, I understand you’re upset. But,”

“Upset ain’t the word for it! You lose your milk makers and have a sweet young boy round ‘em up? In my day, Lady Hestia herself would’ve fixed those fences up something good. These beasts wouldn’t even have gotten out in the first place! You kids today are so lazy. Can’t even make a fence to hold up cattle. Destroyed my bedroom, those cows did!”

The cows at this point were starting to get restless. Her shouting was an annoyance to the worker. But something about it was torture to them.

Some were stomping. Others scratched at the repaired fence. Hermes didn’t wait inside the enclosure as a few started bucking. Even Ram was shouting at her to shut up.

Hermes chimed in, “Better compensate her before she gets really mad!”

Quickly, Hermes consoled his pet. Covering Ram’s ears. Resting his head against the animal’s.

The worker grabbed his coin bag. A few gold pieces would hopefully calm the woman down.

“Will this help?” He dropped the money into her palm.

She stopped screaming. The cows stopped panicking. The two men sighed in relief as Eris walked off satisfied.

The lady bit a piece. Like the gap in Eris’ front teeth, they were real. Much to the worker’s dismay.

“That’s coming out of your work.”

Hermes felt a shift in his pocket. Like something had dropped in. About the weight of a few gold coins.

He stood up, “Queen Hera ordered that I return the cows. That was the last 2. We’re done here.”

A man’s voice appeared behind Hermes, “Maybe you don’t know how to listen. But Queen Hera ordered that you do as I say until further notice.”

Apollo was behind the fence with his cows. The list of differences between his god form and his human form was minimal.

An even 6 feet instead of 6’9. A more human golden skin tone instead of literal. And a lower brightness level on his hair and eyes.

“Hey sunny,” Hermes said, “Looking kinda dim.”

The worker was quick to protest, “How dare you address Lord Apollo-”

Apollo cut him off, “I’ll decide how he’s disciplined. No need to defend me when I’m right here.” Apollo shooed him off. “As pretty as you are to look at, you’ve got some crops to water.”

The worker bowed and went to the garden area. Once he was out of sight, Apollo picked Hermes up by his belt. This time, he was nice enough not to tear the clothing.

“I have legs,” Hermes stated.

“Good, you can use them to clean the temple,” Apollo gave the boy a scrubber and a bucket.

“Pretty sure my hands would be better,” Hermes mocked.

Apollo dropped Hermes. Like a cat, Hermes landed on his feet. Not missing a beat, the boy sauntered off toward the temple. The multipart, large column, heavily occupied, temple.

To go into detail on how much scrubbing and mopping Hermes had to do would be ridiculous. But Apollo watched it all. Jumping in only to show the proper technique.

He oversaw Hermes’ speed through the halls. Turning the floors into mirrors. Or for the visiting children, a horizontal slide.

Apollo didn’t allow any workers to help Hermes fix the room a party was held in two days before. Although, he did question how his staff missed so many spots. Spots that disappeared under a 10-second blur.

The books along the wall took Hermes the most time. The bottom rows he could reach without a ladder were dusted in a flash. Watching the smart mouth struggle to maneuver a rolling ladder made Apollo chuckle.

The only room Apollo didn’t allow Hermes to enter was the treasury. For obvious reasons. Instead, Apollo led the boy to his final chore. Or he intended to.

Apollo walked Hermes to the front steps to sweep them. When they arrived, they saw an injured horse on the back of a wagon. Next to it were three temple workers. Each checked the contents of a messenger bag.

“What’s going on here?” Apollo asked.

The three bowed. One met him halfway up the steps.

“Apologies, Lord Apollo. But the medicine delivery scheduled for today was a failure.” He explained, “These men were attacked on the way. If they continued, they wouldn’t have made it back before nightfall.”

“That’s unfortunate,” Apollo took the bag. In it were a book and some bottles. As well as a map with directions.

“What attacked them?” Apollo asked, seeing one with a limp.

“They say it was a giant snake.”

Apollo wasn’t too certain how a snake attack would lead to bruises across the body. Or how a giant snake had appeared with no notice. As unlikely as all that was, their injuries were definitely real. That horse didn’t break its own leg.

“That’s peculiar.” Apollo pondered, “I don’t know how much longer that ranch is going to survive without this. I may have to deliver it myself in the morning.”

The setting sun cast the temple’s shadow over the nearby town. Hermes took one look at the sun. Twilight was already upon them. Apollo was right. This needed to be delivered.

Hermes didn’t stretch. He didn’t take a stance. He just snatched the bag and sprinted off. Ignoring Apollo’s protest.

His golden hair was pushed back by the wind. Not one person could see who it was that was running past them. They just saw a gold, white, and brown blur. Soon followed by a tailwind.

The gravel road turned to dirt as he entered the wild. The hard surfaces and how hard he stepped were starting to affect his speed. His new shoes were being tested to their limits.

As Hermes lost sunlight, his strands started to lose structure. His left shoe was splitting up. His right was about to crack. The little leap he made over an uprooted tree did them both in.

The second he landed, his right shoe burst into pieces! His left unraveled as Hermes impacted the ground. Skidding against the dirt and tearing his new clothes.

He clutched the bag, making sure the medicine was secure. The bottles weren’t cracked. But Hermes would have to continue barefoot.

“I liked these ones!”

Hermes stood up. A sharp pain in his right arm and knee didn’t stop him. It slowed his starting speed. But he kept running.

Through the trees. Over the branches. Past the bushes. He was almost there.

A small village on the coastline awaited Hermes. Lights from the homes were brighter than the last visible sliver of sun. His shadow came from the candles instead of the day.

The family that needed this medicine was a ranch. Their entire property was the size of the temple’s pasture. But, the village they operated for wasn’t big either. So it evened out.

Goats and cows slept behind the barn. One cow stuck out amongst the others. It was the only one not breathing heavily. A giant red cow with sun-orange spots.

The 10-year-old coming out from the barn greeted Hermes. Completely healthy and rested. If not a little dirty.

“Are you from Lord Apollo’s temple?” The redhead asked.

“Yeah,” Hermes asked. A tad confused, “Your family’s sick, right?”

“Oh no. My parents are fine. Our animals aren’t doing well. So that’s why,”

Hermes looked in the bag once more. He had been so desperate to make sure the bottles didn’t break, that he didn’t read the book. A textbook on identifying and curing sickness in ranch and farm animals.

Hermes broke his shoes over some cows. To say he was pouty and slightly livid would be an understatement.

Speaking a mile a minute, “Here’s the medicine. The book is the instructions. Don’t go into the woods anytime soon. Goodbye!”

“Uh,” was all the kid could utter.

Hermes blasted off. In just as big of a rush as when he left. Once Hermes made it back to the temple, it’d be night. At that point, he wouldn’t be able to see the snakes. But the snake could see him.

End