I am too drained and weak that's why when the knob moved, I just closed my eyes, anticipating my death.

"His daughter is her-"

But the voice is interrupted by a gunshot. And gunshots again.

I opened my eyes only to see new numbers of bodies, critically annihilated on the floor. Searching the room, there were no traces of who is responsible for the shooting.

Shortly, waves of gunshots bolted the place. Shots coming from the second and third floors were so violent to the point that it is making my sanity go insensible. I shifted my eyes back to the door after the loud ceiling... just to catch the entrance of another man with a bulky and thuggish figure, inconsiderately aiming his gun at me.

But between the gun and the man, I briefly glimpsed a significantly large and brooding figure. The largest and the most valiant of them all...

German is on his back— and he is more feral... faster than him.

Eyes like a hawk, and he is very ready to strike.

Headshot.

He shot him in the head.

And I saw it with my bare eyes.

I would be a huge liar if I'll say that it didn't scare me, terrified me, halt me. Cause it is definitely petrifying. Nothing is ever not petrifying on a child's eye when it comes to death. Every cough of blood, every sound of the mouth notioning the struggling of tight breaths, the heaving of chest. I am definitely intensely rattled.

But witnessing the scene, when the sword is swayed at my mom is something that made me less terrified of the death I just now witnessed. Like it is nothing compared to how terrified and ultimately scared I was a while ago.

I stared at the blood flowing out of his head, and it made me feel blank for a moment... empty... until something snapped at me.

Mom.

My mom needs me!

Then I stood up. Made it fast to carry my mom out of this place, out of this chaotic place! Off to the hospital! But with one try I almost kissed the ground. I couldn't carry her!

I am too weak!

"Miss, let me do it,"

German rushed towards me and he was the one to carry my mom out of the room. We walked fast but with extreme caution. He stayed behind me, silently monitoring any activity from the different angles of the house.

But halfway from the hall, like those stupid and irritating nuisances in movies, I turned back.

Aware of my sudden turn, German turned to look at my full appearance and to where I am heading. He is panting as I am, but mine is definitely more visible to the eye.

"Miss," he breathed.

One swerve and the severity of his form revealed itself to me. On how critical his condition is becoming. His shoulder is still bleeding, yet he has an enormous machine gun hanging on it while carrying my mom. The strap of it is drenched in blood. Lots of it. The portion is evidently darker than the lower half.

"Where are you going? " he asked, adjusting a more secure hold on mom.

I shook my head and did my best to get rid of the lump in my throat.

"I need to go back. Please, "

"It is just to inform you that room and the way towards that room is treacherous for your sake. It will be tough for you to-"

Given the circumstance, I know that what I am asking for is unjustifiably stupid. I certainly understand I might die going back. I might drag him to the unexpected. No, I don't want to. He's not my sacrifice warrior, he's a friend... he's our family. If there is something I'd genuinely wish tonight is for him to have zero responsibility for our demise.  But... tears welled up and flowed rapidly to my cheeks.

I need to go back! I have to! That is the last thing I had to do for my mom!

"German... I'm so sorry for this... " I started stepping backwards.

Instantly, his heavy orbs pierced me through. "I am not gonna leave you here, Aesha. If that is what you think."

My eyes watered as I take in the gravity of his words and the way he spews my name out of nowhere. It was the first time I heard my name so thickly pronounced.

"You can leave, you are not signed up for this..." my voice crooked.

It was bold defiant in his gaze, and I even shortly thought he was gonna pull me out with force cause he sure is able to, but then the hard slits got gentler, pitiful, and considerate of... me.

"I won't leave you more than anyone in this world. I don't have to sign up anything for that. "

I gloomily smiled at my muscly hero, downhearted of his yet again selfless choices. "Then can we not die tonight?" it was a prayer.

And as soon as he nods his head, I sprinted all the way to enter that room again. I've stepped a lot of dead bodies but I couldn't care more as I know I should move faster because German, even if he's not saying it, is getting weaker and weaker for all the wounds he acquired and all the blood he lose and is losing in this battle.

Earlier, after he carried mom, something slipped. I saw it but the menace seething in the corners urged me red to leave fast, reason why I failed to seize fully. I searched on the floor. Kicking anything that will make me slow to find it.

Until I saw it.

It was a necklace and it is clipped in a small blooded black gun.

Mom... you are with a gun but why didn't you use it?

Without a second thought, I picked it up and felt the cold gunmetal on my skin. The coldness it introduced in my system made me almost drop it on the floor. It is cold and it felt like an ultimate taboo, but I successfully didn't let go. I held it tight and urged myself to get up. This is not the time for me to slow German down!

I rushed towards the door to follow German but as soon as I step out of it, and for the second time around, I came face to face with a man, only a few meters away from me now, and his gun is positioned to fire at me!

All the details of the pistol he is holding and how its hole would definitely come and get me, registered on me. Just by the look of his tight lips and sinister orbs, I knew he is sent to end me.

A lot of people wanted me dead. Someone ordered them to. That is what I am sure of. And that is what I started shaking for.

Hiding the gun behind me, I shut my eyes and waited for the shot to take me, but before my eyes fully closed and even from afar, German skillfully operated another silver revolver while carrying mom. And it fired away, targeting the man's neck before the man could even pull the trigger to shoot me.

A disturbing thud very near my feet happened.

"Cause what is the use of this handy thing if it can't protect you? " German assertively quoted.

My chest heaved up and down when I realized I wasn't shot!

The moment I opened my eyes, German is already throwing the gun away. Though still gravely shaking from an almost second death, at my best speed I still managed to ran towards him.

We both strolled fast. And I do not know how many dead bodies we stepped into just to reach the parking lot. Funny of me to think that we will be safe once we get out of the mansion. Because the moment we step outside, I heard gunshots again, and we immediately hid ourselves in the cars!

Breathing heavily, I looked at mom and German. His veins are showing and he is critically bleeding!

"You are bleeding! " I exclaimed at him even though I am aware that he is aware of it too. And that mentioning it now, is so silly of me when it's been a while since I've been seeing him bleed!

He faced me, breathing normally in contrast to my harsh rigid panting, as he assess our current situation.

"Just a small wound," he said, grinning at me.

Probably to make the atmosphere lighter for me. I couldn't smile. I can't. How can I? So I just fondled my eyes on his face for a little while to genuinely acknowledge him for tonight.

But that was short-lived.

Both of those dropped as the shooting begins again. Making us realize the reality we are currently facing. With palpable expertise, he gloriously moved something on his machine gun as he faced me again.

"Could you please hold your mom for a while, " he said as he lay my mom in my lap.

He suddenly climbed and stood up at the back of the red-black monster pickup truck we are at, and fired his machine gun, like a machine gun maniac with his very own big black gun flashing up in a dark night, accentuated by the decisive grin plastered all over his face! The eerie of his face and how his lips came to lethally stretch with every pull of the trigger is highly exceptional!

If only I do not know him, I would be too scared for my life. I have probably bent and prayed and be vulnerable on his feet begging to be spared of life...

But I do.

So instead of watching him do his feverish mania, I focused my eyes to fix mom's position.

She is so pale now. Her lips weren't as strawberry pink as before. And even with the clamorous shots and loud creepy laughs German is giving now, I cannot help myself but to weep again looking at how lifeless she is now.

She is gone.

My mother is gone.

And I wasn't able to do anything about it...

"Please... please wake up,"

"I promise I will be the best daughter just hear me out now, come on mom... You shouldn't leave us like this,"

"I would now listen very much. Won't be so silly or naughty or be a headache to you... " I held her hand and whispered on it as I brace myself on quavering shoulders. "I'll s-say 'I love you' more... "

"I promise to say and chant! And recite how much I love you very much more often, every once in a while... just p-please open your eyes, mmmm? I love you... mom, you know that. I'm sorry I'm not that vocal... but then you know of it, right? Of course you'll know it,"

"You said you love me so much. Then wake up now and stop hurting me... I swear this is not cool, mom"

I hit my chest repeatedly, hoping the pain will fade away but it won't stop... I clenched my fist on my dress and felt all the suffering again as I hold her in my arms—breathless.

"Breath for me, please. Breathe again, for us," I desperately searched for any movement, desperate for her response.

None came.

Why did they need to take away the life of people who only wanted to live in the world happily?

How about those... us... who do not want to be left behind? Us, who live with them... and live for them. Why did life take her away from me like this? I couldn't understand. Why did we have to end up like this?

It seems... it feels like... we are on the verge of an inexplicable precipice and I am in absolute dread because I know nothing of why we are positioned in this situation, on why we deserve to be fallen... and to die, in the hands of these people.

After a few minutes, German ended his firing and looked down to check on me.

His playful grin fades right away at the sight.

Without further ado, he immediately carried mom out of my lap.

"We should get going. Fast. Now. "

We walked again, taking advantage of the blatant decrease of our nemeses. Of the fallen men and our men exchanging shots with the remaining ones. His watch abruptly steadied when it shifted somewhere behind me. Then it moved fast as if following something faster than what meets the eye.

I can sense his bold desire to follow it but then he just clenched his jaw as he started walking fast again.

He led us to a familiar large monster car and the moment we entered, he drove it out fast.

I removed the hair from my mom's face and although her face is cold I caressed it. Let my tears fall in it.

She is the warmest person in the world. How can she be like this? Why is she getting colder in my arms...

"Mom, can you...would you want to... " I paused when my voice croaked.  Eyes falling down as I silently battle with my suppressed heart-wrecked sob.

"...p-please tell me a story?"

My voice broke knowing she can never tell me one anymore.

And I cried again.

I noticed someone's staring in the side mirror. A witness of my pathetic situation, on how pitiful I am. He's always been with me for the rest of my life. Pretending to be strong in front of him is to no avail.

So with tired eyes, I seek for strength... and the honest truth.

"German..." I whined a protest, begging him to prove me wrong. That this all was wrong. Blindy in denial, hopelessly hopeful.

So when he let a sad frown, my eyes firmly shut.

"But...why..." I childishly and faintly objected.

I do not know how long I've been grieving when the car suddenly stopped. My eyes tiredly flew to the window. Few familiar and more of unfamiliar people are outside... including my dad.

We are in a forest I am not acquainted with, and it is so dark that they needed flashlights to see each other. German opened the door for me. He is also the one who carried mom out, placing her into an elegant feminal red bed that is carpented with sophisticated gold tweaks on its sides. White rose petals are scattered on its fabric. And even the top of the rectangular transparent yet significantly thick glass cover is decorated with white petals.

Weak, I look at dad, asking for an answer. A help. A comfort. A compassionate sanctuary.  Even just a little warmth...

But in the dark, he is too stoic and reserved.

His lips were in a grim line looking at my mom. I saw no single tear fall from his eyes or even a mark of tears on his cheeks. His eyes are just red... very red. Bloodshot. They are bloodshot.

All I wanted is to jump and hug him but something obscure and strong in the eye stopped me from going. It is like he was in a too dark state. Never have I seen him fit so perfectly in the dusk.

And it scared me.

I am in fear of who this man is.

After minutes of just staring at him, he didn't even dare to look at my eyes.

How come he looked so different? Why is he so indifferent?

This is the time I needed him most! He sure is with me tonight but I couldn't feel him! He wouldn't even take a step to get near me or hush me or even dare to look back at me!

Alright! Even just a mere glide on my hair from him can suit me. Just a little lull... yet it was like he himself could drive me to cry.

Men carried my mom, so instead of wasting my time pleading for attention and affection he cannot give, I directed my eyes to her.

Mom, why is he being like that to me? To us? Where had they taken my father? Who is this man in front of me now?

After a while, even with our bit far distance, I detected him step twice, seemingly wanting to get nearer... closer.

Our eyes met.

Mine twinkled in tears. And his fist firmed hard.

I striked a comforting smile.

His orbs emptied to void, reddening intensified.

Then his step, it was not followed by any more steps.

How...

I tore my eyes away, dying inside.

My tears fell again and I cried in silence as I watch the thing get her into the ground. My tears fell more, hoping to turn back the time when we were happy baking in the kitchen,

dressing up for an event,

tickling each other till we ran out of breath,

and all those happy memories of the family we built for years.

Weak, my body made me kneel on the ground that I almost fall together with my mom but German immediately caught me and carefully removed me away from it. His lips are closed and I can sense his effort to remain silent even if we both know he wanted to shower me with comforting words right now.

Perhaps he know it wasn't the right time to speak of it. For no words could ever soothe the ache of losing a love one.

His eyes darted to my eyes before my cheeks. And that simple glance made me learn that he, isn't the only one who has been staring on a devasted and grieving someone. I could very well see the little hiding glitches in his eyes, the downed shoulders, and the slow breaths... as he gently wipe the tears in my sore eyelids.

I then knew that this night's heavy agony is not only mine.

My small and frail frame suits and concealed itself very well on the large, muscly, and stonehard figure of German when he pulled me into a big hug. I shivered hard when he kissed my forehead. How will I live my life now? I cried in German's arms but despite my blurring sight, I looked up at my father once again.

Dad.

I. Am. Hurting.

Where are you?

Sure I wasn't ready for your darkness. I am frightened. Still am. But if you were also hurting, why won't you go nearer and fumble on my embrace? I can be blind of your dark.

So why don't you bare yourself to me?

I am your daughter.

I could have understood.

But he didn't move a bit. He didn't caress me and tell me that everything will be alright. He didn't hold me or embrace me to make me feel his warmth on this cold night. That we both are in this together, and we could lend shoulders to each. To have someone we could share the burden to.

Instead, he just turned his back on me as if he is about to leave.

As if I am just nothing to him. As if he is not seeing me, very vulnerable and broken in the dark.

"Dad," my voice croaked.

"Please!!!" I begged again even when I am clueless on why I need to beg him at this point.

He paused. My hope that he would finally wake up from whatever that's running in his mind, leaps up to me again.

But he steps forth.

Again and again. Until I cannot contain seeing him walk away from me... so I closed my eyes—and let those unending tears speak my pain out.

I am left all alone.

Physical pain really doesn't equate an emotional pain.

Especially if it was caused by the ones you love.