After my midterms, it was Emily’s turn to face her midterms. I, meanwhile, returned to my usual day-to-day activities. I didn’t want to disturb her studying, so I stayed at home and didn’t move around much. I kept my body behind her, letting her concentrate on her tasks. As I watched her study from behind, I couldn’t help but wonder how long we need to stay like this. 

It was almost two months at this point, and if we followed the same timespan as Emily’s parents, it would be another ten months before we got released. That all under the assumption that by that point, we knew what we wanted and we gained that thing. I was still clueless about what I wanted. Ten months seemed like a long time if you looked at it from your current point, but as time went on, and as we got used to our life with each other, we would eventually forget about it. 

If we didn’t actively think about this issue, we would end up forgetting about it, and just like that, an entire year would be lost. We would then think about it again, but after some more time passed, we would forget again. The cycle would repeat, and we would be stuck together forever. It wasn’t something I wanted, and surely Emily didn’t want it either. But, at the same time, thinking about it didn’t improve anything. 

I’m still clueless, just like how I was two months ago. 

Two months had passed, Emily and I had gotten used to each other, and we ended up forgetting the fact that we were kilometers apart. It had become the norm for us. What would our ‘normal’ be like after another month? How about another year? Would it get to the point where our lives were so linked to each other that we didn’t want to part ways? When that happened, would the Torii gate reappear?

I had so many questions. Emily, meanwhile, was filling her own questions, albeit of a different kind. Science wasn’t my forte, so I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t help even if I wanted to. As I tossed myself around the bed out of boredom, all while trying to not make a sound, I received a notification. I opened my phone and checked its sender. It was Caleb. Our gaming frequencies had gone down drastically from me not wanting to bother Emily. 

I used the excuse of having tasks to dodge his invitations, but I couldn’t use those excuses when vacation arrived. 

“Yo, Simon, can you grab me a drink?”

Emily suddenly called out my name. I hesitated for a moment. I knew that we were kilometers apart, but what I wondered about was whether she knew that or not. Did she forget, or was she teasing me?

Not hearing my answer, she looked behind.

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that.”

She apologized, which probably meant she had forgotten. She got up and made her way toward her kitchen. I could see her movements as she took some water from her dispenser. 

“How are the exams going?”

I asked despite knowing the answer. Even now, Emily spent time filling in practice questions and only took a rest for water. I trust that it would all be alright.

“I was just thinking about this, actually.”

I said. Emily raised her eyebrow and approached me. She sat down on the edge of the bed. 

“About this phenomenon?”

“Yeah. I was thinking about how fast the last two months passed.”

“You’re right… Also, isn’t it a bit funny how we always call this phenomenon, phenomenon?”

I was surprised when I heard her question. I never once thought about that subject. To be fair, what I called this entire ordeal did not matter. It wouldn’t change a thing. 

“Not really, at least I don’t think so.”

“Ah, you’re no fun.”

Emily pushed me lightly and stood back up. She returned her cup and went back to the desk. Keeping my thoughts to myself, I let her continue studying. 

 

That night, Emily went to bed early. She had exams tomorrow, and since I didn’t have anything else to do, I went to sleep before her. It would be easier for her to see me sleeping before she slept. But at some point in the night, I found myself being wide awake. I slowly made my way off my bed and took the phone I left on my bedside table. It was exactly twelve at midnight. 

I thought about going back to sleep. As I moved around, all while doing my best to minimize the sound I made, even if Emily couldn’t hear the noises I made, my eyes caught the thin line of light that crept through the curtains. I approached it and opened the curtains, finding a clear night sky extending beyond my balcony. I unlocked the glass door and stepped out to the chilling night air. It felt different from the air conditioning inside. 

I breathe in the air, enjoying the silent night. Below me several cars passed by, with the lights of surrounding buildings filling in the scenery. High above in the night sky, the moon shone brightly with very few clouds blocking the sight. 

“You’re awake?”

I heard Emily’s voice coming up to me. She leaned on her railing, her hands floating a centimeter above mine. 

“Did I wake you up?”

“I guess? Felt very minor shakes.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

She tilted her head up. 

“Despite being so far apart, we still look at the same sky, huh?”

“Yeah.”

The same white moon. The same dark night sky. Albeit everything around us was different, albeit our very existence supposedly disconnected from each other, we still looked up on the same horizon that extended far above us. 

“Isn’t it romantic?”

She asked, not looking away from the skies. 

“Romantic?”

“You wouldn’t get it.”

Emily let out a chuckle and turned her face toward me. 

“Say, Simon…”

She whispered under her breath, in a voice loud enough for me to barely hear her. 

“Yes?”

I asked back, but in a stronger tone. She noticed and increased her voice. 

“If, hypothetically, I would confess my love to you right here, right now, what would you say?”

She said, her tone serious. She stared at me, her face lit up by the moonlight glow. I could only stare back at her, at a loss for what to do. She had asked something similar a while ago, when she was around. Back then, I dodged the question by saying that it was impossible to tell, since I didn’t know who was confessing to me, but now…

“Do you like me, by any chance?”

I asked, as I was unsure of how to answer. 

“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be talking to you right now.”

“Right…”

I didn’t have the boldness to ask beyond that. It was just that these kinds of things rarely entered my mind. I would be lying if I said never, but it wasn’t like I think about romance on a daily basis. So, when shot by a question all of a sudden like this, I couldn’t think of a proper answer. All of these were hypothetical, after all. I couldn’t imagine the embarrassment if it turned out to be just a joke. 

But if I didn’t answer seriously, especially with the cedar brown eyes staring deep into me, I would feel bad. It would be rude, and may ruin our relationship. I asked myself about what I wanted, what I felt about her. It all felt too violent, too rushed, I didn’t know a proper answer. 

Why did she suddenly ask this, anyway? Was she still half asleep? Or did she dream about something relating to me? I couldn’t decipher her reasons, nor could I ask her. Suddenly, Emily’s lips twisted into a soft smile. She looked at me and touched my cheeks. Her skin felt smooth and warm. 

“I’ll wait for this ‘hypothetical’ answer of yours, so think about it, okay? Good night.”

She turned around and headed back inside. 

“Good night.”

I whispered and turned my eyes back to my surroundings. I decided to enjoy the scenery a bit more before turning in for the night. 

 

Once morning came around, Emily acted like usual, as if last night’s events never happened. I must admit, I was impressed by her ability to control her mood like that. Had our roles been reversed, I would be screaming in shame right about now. 

“You’re not going to univ?”

Emily, who had already changed into her school clothes, asked. She wore a white shirt with cream pants for today, not too flashy except for the bright colors. The shirt had no patterns or decorations on it, they were as plain as a shirt could be. 

“In a bit.”

I myself had finished most of my morning preparations. All I needed to do was to get changed into my outside clothes. Emily nodded and started walking, putting her eyes away from me. As I watched her from behind, my mind thought about asking her about last night.

“Emily-”

I called her name, but the following words got stuck in my throat. I found myself reeling back from the sentence I was about to say. 

“Yes?”

“Nevermind.”

She didn’t comment any further. I wonder if she was thinking about last night as well, or was last night all a dream?

If it was her… huh?

I couldn’t say I dislike that idea, to be honest. If anything, it would actually be great. If we got together as a couple and got married, while still dealing with this, we wouldn’t be struggling as much. But… something about it felt off. Not about Emily, but about me. The fact that I rarely ever thought about things related to romance made me completely unprepared for an answer. 

If she was to confess her love to me, could I say that I love her back? 

I could confidently say that I liked her? That the reason we were together for this long was love? 

What is love in the first place? How could you define it from normal relationships in the first place? As my mind wandered about this, I sped up the speed of my changing. I eventually finished changing clothes and picked up my phone. I opened up Fine and decided to message the person that had more experience in these kinds of matters compared to me. 

“Caleb, what differentiates like as friends from love?”

I decided to open with that question. While waiting for a reply, I stuffed my belongings into my bag and headed out for university. 

 

“You don’t normally message me about these things.”

“I’m pretty sure I don’t even think about these things.”

“True, true.”

During breaks between classes, when Emily was focused on her midterms, I found myself hiding in a hidden spot in the campus building. My university building had this oval, egg-like shape, where the outside walls consisted of metal platings with holes in them, allowing wind to blow in. The winds were quite strong today, gray clouds filling up the morning skies. I sat near a concrete wall that separated the metal wall from the classrooms inside the building, leaning my back on it. Behind this wall were the stairs that spanned all fifteen floors, while not far from those stairs were the elevators. 

Heading to the cafeteria would mean a lot of unnecessary movements, so I bought prepared meals and ate them alone up here. Since I was alone, no one would talk to me either, so I wouldn’t disturb Emily’s concentration. I had already told my friends that for the following week, I wouldn’t be able to go with them. I used the excuse of wanting to study something, although whether it worked or not was questionable. Oh well, not like they would cut me off just because of a week of not eating together… I sure hope not. 

“I feel like these are the kinds of things that only you can solve, though.”

“Still, I need a guide on what to do next.”

She only hypothetically confessed to me, after all. Not like I could just suddenly turn around and confess to her. 

“I feel like the best course of action right now is to simply watch. See if that hypothetical situation is really hypothetical or not.”

“You can do that?”

“How about you try to send signals? Flirt around a bit. If that hypothetical situation is truly hypothetical, then she wouldn’t react to it. If it is something true, then expect a strong reaction.”

“I see.”

“Also, one more thing.”

I waited as he typed down his response while scooping the chicken katsu I bought from a convenience store across the university into my mouth. 

“Love is a messy matter. I don’t suggest you think much of it. But, if what you’re thinking of is her, then maybe you’re under the influence of the pink potion.”

“... Pink potion of love?”

“Something like that. I told you it will be messy.”

“Noted. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

With the conversation ended, I looked toward Emily, who sat in front of me, giving it her all in her exams. I had positioned myself behind Emily. I was probably the last thing she wanted to see during a serious test. 

Not think much about it…

I don’t think it’s possible at this point.