I dropped off Emily and her car in front of her home. Emily’s family told me to just keep the car for now, as it was previously used by Olivia. She had her own car now, so she no longer used this one. I promised to drive it carefully and went home. Despite dropping Emily off, the fact that Emily’s shadow continued to accompany me made it look as if Emily never got off in the first place. 

“We can’t even have an emotional parting, huh?”

“Why do you even want one?”

“That’s how it went in shows.”

People looked at each other, embraced each other, uttered words like ‘stay safe, I’ll see you again.’ while tears rolled down their cheeks, but since Emily was right here with me, our distance didn’t become a factor. It didn’t even exist. 

“You’re parents there?”

“Why are you asking?”

“You seemed to be talking so freely. 

While it was true that her family knew about our predicament, Emily had just arrived from afar. When I went back to Jakarta to visit my own family, I found it hard to talk to Emily in front of them, as I felt weird and unnatural. Emily seemed to be having no issue at all with returning to her home. I feel happy that it was the case, but I got curious. 

“Well, I’m in my room right now, tidying stuff up.”

“Sorry for bothering you.”

“Not at all.”

The car went silent once again. I noticed that I hadn’t turned on the radio and did that, setting the volume to the minimum. I couldn’t see what Emily was doing, and knowing that I was still on the road, she did her best to not even appear in the corners of my view. 

“It sure feels weird, huh?”

“That’s not a new feeling.”

“Yeah…”

After that small talk, Emily went silent once more. Not finding anything interesting to talk about, I said nothing. I started to consider the possibility of me staying behind to help her unpack. Had that been the case, I wonder what I would be doing now. Would I actually be helping, or would I be just sitting on her bed, doing nothing? Would Emily’s father rope me into a conversation instead, or maybe since he wasn’t home, her mom would be the one that talked to me? 

Well, Emily had just arrived home from a long trip, so I guess I shouldn’t bother her. Since our homes weren’t far from each other, it didn’t take long for me to arrive. I parked the car in front of my house. Both of my parents were still at work, and wouldn’t return until late in the evening, so I left my car there, even if it blocked the garage. I then entered the empty house using my set of keys. 

It had been a long while since I last entered this house with no one home. A trip between Jakarta to Serpong usually took about an hour. Not as long as others’ commute, I know, but it wasn’t viable for me to go back and forth between my home and the university for four years, so we decided to lease an apartment. I would still go home occasionally on weekends, but when I did, I would have my parents waiting for me. For me to enter this house all alone felt unnatural, and that wasn’t even considering the fact that Emily was there. She lay on the bed, her eyes closed and her hands spread. 

I guess she had fallen asleep after all the unpacking she went through. She still wore the same clothes she wore when she got here. She probably waited for me to reach home before taking a shower, not wanting to risk it. I sent her a silent thank you and used the opportunity to clean myself up. Positioning her so she faced away from me, in the case she accidentally woke up, was a challenge. Since she didn’t move, and I couldn’t touch her, I was the one who needed to go back and forth, all around her to finally get a good position. 

I did my shower as fast as I could. I had gotten used to going and out within a few minutes. I still did my best to get all of the dust and dirt off in the limited time frame. We both were pretty understanding when it came to the afternoon cleaning after we got home from university. The same couldn’t be said for the morning, and not wanting to let the other side wait, we showered at maximum speed. 

Although to be fair, I almost never woke up before Emily was finished, so I didn’t actually know how long she spent in the shower for my sake. Maybe I was wrong, and instead of reducing her shower time, she opted to wake up earlier. I felt bad regardless, but I couldn’t do anything about it. All I could do was think about ways to end this phenomenon, and every time my mind went on these field trips, it always arrived at the same conclusion. 

Finding what I truly wanted. 

With something as vague as that, I struggle to pinpoint the exact thing I wanted. What I knew was that it couldn’t be something that provided instant gratification. I had completed such short-term goals and achieved simple things I wanted numerous times, and the phenomenon still stuck. I was also sure that it couldn’t be something buyable with money. 

As I got dressed, facing toward the sleeping Emily before me, the sight of her sprung a thought into the forefront of my mind. 

What if it wasn’t me, but instead, Emily?

What if Emily’s wish was the one that hadn’t come true yet?

What is her wish, and was it something that I could make come through?

If I could, I would absolutely do it. Even if it couldn’t solve our issue, I would still do it. She’s someone special to me, from back then all the way until now, that fact hadn’t changed. Even though we were separated for three years without talking with each other, I still thought of her as someone close. She had helped me multiple times. She had granted my wish multiple times, so if I could do something for her, I would love to.

That thought prompted me to approach her. I kneeled, bringing my face to her bed’s height. I turned and placed myself beside her sleeping face. 

“I’ll do anything I can for you.”

I whispered in a faint voice. 

Her sleeping face sure is cute. 

I didn’t want to bother her any further, though, so I stood back up and started unpacking. As I set my backpack on the floor and started pulling out my stuff, I glanced back at her, wondering if she had heard me. She looked to be sound asleep, but usually, that meant that she heard every word I said. I decided to not think about it further, though. She would probably feel it if I continued staring at her, and I wanted to let her enjoy her sleep, so I left her alone and returned to my belongings.

 

Midnight. 

The song of crickets filled the night sky. A soft breeze hit my face as I stood on the second-floor balcony of my house. The moon shone dimly in the night sky, its figure covered by a group of thick clouds. It didn’t look like it would rain yet, though. 

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Emily said while she stood beside me. Of course, it wasn’t the real her, just her shadow. As it turned out, I wasn’t the only one who failed to sleep. I had fallen asleep after unpacking. My parents slept in a different room, probably going to bed around ten or maybe eleven. It was eleven thirty when I woke up. I had a late dinner, eating the fried rice that my parents bought for me, then headed back to bed. I tossed around the bed for a few minutes. I had lost my sleepiness, so I decided to head for the balcony.

Right after I stepped out, Emily who was previously sleeping, came back to life, and now here we are. 

“I’m going to go get something to eat.”

She said as she turned around. 

“Yeah.”

I replied, despite in reality, she didn’t move more than a meter away from me. It didn’t feel like she left at all. I turned around and leaned back on the railing as I watched her move. She went down some stairs, maneuvering in her house. She eventually arrived in front of her refrigerator and opened it. She took something from inside and turned toward me. 

“Want this?”

She asked while shaking side-to-side the thing she held. Based on the way she held it, I assumed it was a can of something. I reached out my hand and touched the empty air, my fingers felt the cold wetness of the metallic can. 

“What is that?”

“Milk.”

“I thought you said you were looking for something to eat?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t expecting you to actually touch it.” 

She returned the can to the refrigerator and shut it tight. She then made her way toward another part of the section, kneeled, and took something out. She set it aside and carefully reached for things. From my eyes, she was simply reaching for empty air, so it looked so weird. Even after seeing Emily being the perfect mime for four months at this point, I still found myself being taken by surprise at times.

“What are you making?”

“University students’ best friends.”

“I can’t believe you’re the one saying that.”

She ripped open the packaging and peeled the cover. Even without her telling me, I knew what it was. 

Instant, specifically, cup noodles.

Cheap, delicious, but not healthy. While from the outside, Emily didn’t seem like someone who would eat such kinds of foods, she absolutely loved them. Unfortunately, the health risks related to instant noodles prevented her from eating them often. She would eat them once every two or three weeks. A painfully long wait for her, but often enough for me to immediately know what she was preparing just from the way she opened it up.

She then ripped the sauces and poured them into the cup. She then held the cup and brought it under something, presumably a water dispenser. She held it in that position for a while before bringing it and setting it down on a table. She put something on top of the cup and held it tight. 

“Wouldn’t it be cool if we can actually send stuff to each other?”

“You want to offer the noodle? That’s nice of you.”

“Of course.”

Emily gave me a smug smile. The idea of being able to send things through the phenomenon did sound interesting. My mind immediately imagined the less favorable ways of using it, but I thought that neither of us would do something so terrible. 

“You’ve eaten?”

“Before you this time.”

I, for once, woke up before Emily. The circumstances were different, but it was still something regardless. 

“By the way, you already have plans for our Christmas Eve?”

She asked as she watched over the cup. From my point of view, it looked as if she was cooking on top of the balcony, in between lines of laundry no less. A calm breeze blew, blowing the clothes around her, blocking her momentarily from my view. It died down, exposing her once more. 

“Not yet…”

She had told me before that she wanted to go shopping. I still remember, but it didn’t feel complete. It felt like Christmas, being the special occasion it is, demanded something more than just shopping. 

“Give me some more time.”

“There’s no need to think so hard. I’m really fine with just some shopping.”

“Still…”

She stirred the noodles in her pot. 

“Let’s not force it. I mean, vacations are for enjoyment.”

“Well, if you say so.”

Even when she was the one who brought it up in the first place. 

“Want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

“Where?”

“A museum.”

Well, I guess most museums wouldn’t be open on the Holidays, so if we wanted to go, now’s the time. I let out a light sigh and smiled.

“Sure.”