I sat for a long while, and thought, and thought, and thought.

I could think of 3 locations where Izena's mana might plausibly be found.

First, the site of her death, the field of our last battle against Oscanion. If her final will had been to defend us, or to ensure that the final battle was won, or something along these lines, then her mana may have lingered there. Plus, I would have to check there anyway, as it was her last known location. This one seemed most likely.

Second, our family home in Ezenta. If she had a strong wish to lead a peaceful life back home after a lifetime of war, regretting that she was about to die before enjoying the fruits of her labors, that's where she would have gone.

Third, she might have gone to the site of her mother's death. A major problem was that her mother, another black mage comparable to Azenum, had been the leader of the expedition sent to investigate the loss of contact with Solenn, at the very start of the war. She had died there. I wasn't so sure that it was wise to go to Solenn without a plan of attack if I could avoid it, although I did want to check on the Guard there. I also judged this to be the least likely location. This hadn't seemed important enough to Izena for it to be the source of her resolve to linger, but I couldn't be certain, so I had to consider the possibility.

Solenn was the most distant option, anyway. The final battle location was close to Rokesha--that was Rokesha's claim to fame, after all--and Ezenta was not nearly as far north as Solenn was south. Solenn was at the extreme south of the world, and Rokesha near the equator.

But for now, as badly as I wanted to start the search, I more badly needed to rest. I had spent everything I had remaining on restoring the storm fly's mind, and I'd spent a great deal on shields and resurrection before that, and then I'd been emotionally destroyed. A white mage doesn't need as much recuperation as others, especially one of my power, but she does need some. I very badly needed some right now.

Delaying my promise to help with the healing risked some victims passing outside the resurrection window. I tried to rationalize that this was unavoidable, that while I aspire to keep everyone near me from harm, I cannot protect people if I am not present, and I cannot hope to resurrect all of the dead across the entire world all the time. It still didn't feel good. I hoped the public would understand that I'm not omnipotent.

I apologized to the leader of the Temple for being unable to do any more healing or repairing today, explaining that I had used too much of my power, and needed to rest to recover it. She was scandalized that I felt the need to apologize after what I had done already, and showed me to her office, which had a sofa inside. I supposed that the relative dimness of my glow at that moment made my claim very convincing, perhaps even concerning to those who didn't know exactly what it represented.

After telling her to wake me at the first sign of enemies returning, I slept.

Incidentally, I learned that her name was Menelynoi. This made my eyes narrow in psychic pain, since my burgeoning understanding of Rokeshan told me that means something like "cared for by/watched over by/the responsibility of Menelyn." Please don't let this name or something like it be, say, every sixth girl in Rokesha. That would be far too embarrassing.

When I awoke, it was morning. The real morning, not my dramatic entrance version of it. My glow was back to its normal levels, consistent with my mana pool being fully rested.

My mind now rested and no longer as focussed on Izena, another part of the conversation was bothering me. Dekel had said the Guard couldn't leave. Presumably, this was because their amulets were needed to prevent the red magic from getting too far away from the facility, finding new victims. But then what had happened in the interim, between Oscanion's death and the establishment of the Guard? Had the monster inside simply not had any nearby targets powerful enough to be worth the effort? Then I realized another possibility.

"It's afraid of us, Izena and me, even now," I mumbled to myself. "It wasn't sure if Oscanion's last attack had killed us or not. It might have been trying to avoid notice, hiding, afraid that we would come for it if we knew. I bet it was checking the minds of the approaching army to figure out what had happened, to see who was approaching its hiding place, and that's how it was noticed. And then the red mages present at the time, plus the amulets afterward, have managed to contain it ever since, as long as no one goes inside the facility itself. But now there are no red mages, and no blue mages to keep the amulets charged."

That was actually mostly a comforting thought. I much preferred my enemies to be afraid of their vulnerability, than confident in their invincibility. This thing could be killed, and it knew it.

I grinned.

Today, the first thing on my agenda was restoring Rokesha to some approximation of normalcy. That would start with healing its people.

I cast a cleaning spell on myself--if I'm going to simulate the goddess that they need, I must always be presentable in front of my believers--and opened the door to the office I had slept in. The...warrior-monks?...who had served as my offense in the battle last night were guarding my door.

Hmmm. I hadn't even thought about security. I was almost as vulnerable while asleep as anyone else. My passive healing could help a little, but it wouldn't stop me from being decapitated. At least I didn't think it would. I was not in any rush to do tests. I hated tests. Historically, tests usually caused disappointment the first few...many times, although in recent centuries I was doing a little better.

Maybe I needed to keep these guys around.

Last night, they had been impressively impassive, strictly business despite playing major roles in a scene that would become legendary, and beyond competent, but today they had the same dazzled awe as I'd seen many times on Dekel's face. Ah, that reminds me.

"Good morning, and thank you for your help. I could not have done it alone." They swelled with pride, bowing their heads in acknowledgment. "There was a ship in the harbor, unable to reach port. It is how I was brought here. There was a chaplain on it named Dekel, and its captain's name was Seffed. Did it arrive? Are they here?" I asked the guards collectively.

"It did," answered one, who seemed to be the eldest, ranking member. "Dekel himself provided eh recounting of the events for us ell. We ere pleased to see thet You hev recovered, Goddess. It wes en honor to serve Zhe Who Brings Selvezhun."

I couldn't help chuckling a bit. It was in part a nervous laugh from the whole deification thing, but also, everyone always tried to speak so formally to me, not knowing that the hint of Rokeshan drawl in everything they said really undermined it.

"I'm glad," I said, still grinning. "Would you all be willing to continue guarding me? I am vulnerable when distracted or fatigued."

They made it very clear that they would like nothing more. I learned their names--the leader's was Kestef--and at my request, they showed me back to the main chamber.

Yesterday, there had been an urgent crisis, preventing me from really spending time to think about what was happening. But now, with that little interaction, I was reminded. I am, literally, a goddess from the ancient world to these people. I'm about to walk into a chamber, in a temple dedicated to my family's memory, full of what must be hundreds of thousands of people who literally worship me, because, in their minds, they know that I'm a goddess.

Weakening knees and an explosion of butterflies made it a little difficult to keep walking.

"Ffffffllluhhhhh." I'd already resolved to embrace the role. I'm ageless. I can resurrect the recently deceased. I can cast shields that block the apocalyptic magic of godlike creatures of the great ocean, and restore their minds from the echo remembered by their mana. I walk on light. My worshippers seem to be already aware that I'm not omnipotent or clairvoyant or infallible. What is really the difference between what I am and what they see me as? If they need to feel like they have a benevolent literal goddess on their side to feel secure, I will try to be that for them.

I swallowed my mounting bashfulness.

Well, we're here.

As much as I wanted to start searching for Izena at once, that would make me one of those mages who made excuses for not helping, who focussed on only their own cities, their own families, their own goals.

Just, letting people die? I could never do that.

Time to be a helper.

I opened the doors to the main temple chamber and made my best ethereal entrance, trying to radiate serenity, security, Selvezhun.