Elmer Perez and his Grandmother, Gabriela Perez pulled onto their street. They had just gotten back from a cruise. On the way back they had stopped at a pet store. Elmer had always wanted a cat, but the two of them always seemed to be tight. That all changed two months ago when a tall well-built lawyer showed up and dropped a large sum of money on the two of them because Gabriela had helped the right person years ago when she was a nurse. In one day, they went from struggling and dirt poor to being able to afford to go on a cruise. A protest from the back made them both smile. The small black ball of fur was not happy.

“Are we keeping its name or changing it?” Gabriela asked her grandson. He shrugged and looked back at the angry cat.

“His name was Chad, but I think Gato works better.” She just smiled.

“You are calling our cat, cat?” He smiled and shrugged.

“Easy to remember.” Elmer smiled at the angry cat. He was not happy, but soon would be.

“Why a black one? Aren’t they supposed to be bad luck?” She had waited until now in case it made him change his mind on the cat he wanted.

“Gran, I always had bad luck. If my luck is bad anyway, why not give someone else love who is bad luck too.” She smiled and pulled his head over to kiss his cheek. “Not now Gran, I’m driving.” She slapped his shoulder and both laughed as Gato yelled at them.

“I know baby, we will be home soon,” she said cooing and looking at the box in the back seat. They pulled up to their street to see a black car that looked like theirs. Mr. Crag stood outside just enjoying the weather. He was in a pressed expensive suit like the last time, but this time the tall woman was not with him. He was a tall man who was handsome and had a touch of gray in his brown hair. He waved at them when he saw them pull up. Elmer pulled in and rolled down the window, a slight bit of fear creeping into his heart. Did he want the money back? Was he here to drop the other shoe and demand they do something illegal to pay him back? He leaned over and smiled at the two of them and looked back in shock as he heard a yell from Gato.

“Nice, you two got a cat. What is its name?” He seemed happy, but Elmer was still worried.

“Gato,” Gran answered. Crag just looked at them a bit puzzled.

“You named the cat, cat?” Gran laughed

“Easy to remember. How can we help you?”

“Can I come inside? I have dinner on the way and think it would be nice to have a meal with you two after your trip.”

“Have you been watching us?” Elmer asked a bit worried.

“No, not at all,” Crag said a little outraged. “I friended your grandmother on Web Friends. That cruse looked like fun. I may have to take Jessica on one.” Web Friends replaced Facebook years ago and almost everyone had an account. Elmer didn’t know Gran had friended him though.

“How is Jessica?” Gran asked getting out of the car. Crag just laughed

“I wish I had known that you medical professionals were so wild. I struggle to keep up with her.” Gran just laughed and walked to the door. Crag started to help Elmer unload the car, but Elmer stopped him.

“Dude, after all you did, don’t you dare help me. I got this. Go in and keep Gran company so she doesn’t try to help me either.” He said with a smile. Crag just laughed and followed the older woman inside. Elmer saved the cat for last as it had calmed down and he didn’t want to let it out until everything was set up. As he was pulling the box holding Gato out, a car pulled up and two people got out and started bringing in boxes. Whatever they had smelled amazing. Soon Gato was walking around the house sniffing everything and seemed to be calm. Gran, Elmer, and Crag were all sitting at the table enjoying a meal together. Once the food had been picked over and all three were full, Mr Crag sat back a little, his face shifting into a slightly more serious expression. “Elmer, how would you like to come to work for my employer?” This had been what all this was about. Elmer’s heart began to beat rapidly, was he going to be a gang banger, drug dealer, or maybe something far worse? No one gives out free money without asking for something back. He cleared his throat and asked

“What would I be doing?” Crag laughed

“Sleeping.” Was he asking Elmer to become a street walker for some man with far too much money? “We have a game and were wondering if you could test it for us. We need Beta testers and thought you could fill one of those slots.” Elmer just looked confused.

“I’m not a gamer and how would I be sleeping?” Crag pulled out his phone and pressed a button.

“We have a helmet. It looks like something someone would wear to do kickboxing. You put the helmet on and go to sleep. When you are asleep you log on to our system and can play through your subconscious. It runs on sending energy waves into your brain. Before I say anything else I will need you two to sign an NDA.”

“What is an NDA?” Gran smiled

“It means don’t talk about it with other people. We had to sign those in the hospital all the time.” Crag nodded pulled two folded pieces of paper out and handed one to each. He also handed Gran a nice pen. She read over the paperwork closely.

“Smart woman. Never sign anything you haven’t read.” Crag said with a warm smile. Elmer started to read, but the legal wording just made his head spin.

“Gran, I can't make heads or tails of this.” She took his paper looked over both pages together and nodded.

“They are the same and you are good to sign it.” She said as she signed hers and handed the pen to him. He signed it and there was a knock at the door. Crag went to get up, but Elmer beat him to it. Gran started putting the food away and Crag helped her. Elmer walked to the door thinking about what he had said. Come to think of it, he didn’t even know Crag’s first name. He opened the door and was handed a large box from a strange-looking red-headed man. He was far too skinny and wore thick glasses. A huge goofy grin was on his face. He wore a red Godzilla shirt and blue jeans. Red tennis shoes completed the look. This guy looked like the gamer nerd that Mr. Crag wanted. The strange nerd smiled at him.

“Hi there, I’m Travis Walker. Can I come in?” Elmer just nodded and led the way into the living room. Gran and Crag were sitting and talking there. Gran looked at the strange new man with a question on her face.

“Travis, did you find the place okay?” Mr. Crag asked.

“Yeppers. How goes the sell, David?” So Crag’s first name was David. Elmer was expecting something more epic or imposing, like Maxwell or Leo.

“Sit anywhere you like and let’s talk about this,” Gran said with her normal sweet smile. Travis sat next to her and soon the two were in a heated conversation about how everything works. Elmer and David only understood about every fifth word.

“Elmer please open the box and tell me what you think,” David said. Elmer did just that. Inside was a strange gray helmet. It did look like a sparring helmet except over the eye area was a screen and a long cord came from the back to plug into a weird black box that had a normal-looking power cord. The box was about the size of a large book. “Travis explained that to me once, but I don’t understand it all very well,” David said with a frown. Elmer looked over at Gran who was smiling her eyes wide as she looked at the red-headed man. Travis was talking wildly and making gestures at his head. Both stopped and looked at the other two.

“Gran is everything okay?” She just turned and nodded looking at the helmet in Elmer’s hands.

“That thing is magic,” she said wonderfully in her voice. Travis just scoffed.

“It’s not magic. It’s more like a reverse MRI and an MRI at the same time. Emma understands that part more. I’m just a coder.”

“How does it work and please use normal words?” David asked. Travis stood and paced the room.

“Well, when you watch TV.” he began. “You take in sound and light rays. Your brain interprets the sound and light into something you can understand. This device does the same. It reads the signals from your brain and sends its own back. When you eat an apple your brain sends out a signal that can be picked up.” Elmer just froze and looked up at the crazy man

“So it will be beaming lasers into my head?” Travis just laughed

“Small magnetic waves. Your brain uses them too. With this, you can eat in the game and taste the food. Have a drink and not get hungover when you wake up.” His Gran nodded and looked up in wonder at Travis

“Like I said magic,” she said crossing her arms and nodding. Travis rubbed his head and looked over at the helmet.

“The NARV gear isn’t magic. Before you ask NARV is just a funny name we have for it because it sounds like narf.” The way he said it was like an old cartoon Elmer remembered watching back when he was small. It was about two lab rats trying to take over the world. “The acronym means something, but NARV just sounds cooler and is easier to say. But back to what I was saying, The NARV picks up your brainwaves and sends them to the system. The system reads the waves and allows your avatar to move in the way you want. Our game does have rules and physics so you won’t be able to fly like Superman. Although we do have programs like that for some of our team. I’m getting off topic.” This dude seemed to buzz like he was always on a caffeine high. Elmer was getting a bit worried about the helmet in his hand.

“Is it safe though?” Elmer asked worried

“Yes. I have a friend who lives in the game full time.” Gran looked at him a bit worried

“If he lives in the game, how does he eat or take care of himself.” Travis smiled

“He doesn’t. He is locked in. An old patient of yours by the way. He still talks fondly of you. Calls you Betty.” She looked in shock at Travis.

“He is the friend?” Travis just nodded and sat back down.

“Our friend is living a full happy life at three times the speed.” Elmer and Gran’s eyes went wide. “Did I forget to mention that this system lets us input and extract data at up to seven times normal speed?” Gran gave the NARV a hungry look and Elmer was worried that she may try to take it apart. “Three just seemed like a safe calm bet, But Elmer if you are following that means you get twenty-four hours of game time for every eight hours of sleep.”

“Won’t this get addictive? What if someone tries to live in the game like your friend and lets their body die?” Gran asked a bit worried.

“Emma thought of that one too. She put in a small battery that has to recharge. It needs sixteen hours to give you an eight-hour play session. There is also a built-in alarm clock that can be hooked to a security system.”

“Doesn’t that affect REM sleep?” Gran asked. Travis smiled and stood again

“That is the beauty of the system. You are in REM sleep the whole time. If anything you sleep better when you game.”

“REM? What is that?” Elmer asked

“Rapid eye movement. It means you are in a deep sleep that your brain needs it to rest and recharge.” Gran answered

“So care to give it a go?” Travis asked Elmer.

“Yeah, but why me? I’m no gamer.” David smiled at him

“We have gamers. We want a normal person. We want your point of view on this game as a nongamer. All we ask is you give a report when you get up. Your thoughts and feelings about each session.”

“How much does it pay?” Elmer asked a bit worried

“We are offering one hundred a session. That would mean seven a week and so on. You don’t like it, you don’t have to play.” David said with a smile.

“Will this affect his school?” Gran asked a little worried. Elmer was going to start colleague in a few days. He was going for a degree in business.

“We want him to do both. We want him to live a normal life and play to see if there are any issues. If he is struggling in school because of the game. Stop. You have my number on Web Friends. Just say the word and we’ll come get our gear. No questions, complaints, or herd feelings.” Elmer just looked at the reflection on the screen of the helmet and saw a slight smile on his face.

“I’m down.” The other two men smiled and Gran looked a mixture of worried and excited.

A few hours later Elmer was in his room. The sun was about to set and he held the helmet looking at the clear screen. It was plugged in and ready to go. All he had to do was put it on and lay down. He was a bit scared and took a deep breath before placing it on his head. The screen came to life.

WELCOME NEW USER. WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOGON (YES) NO. PLEASE LOOK AT THE WORD FOR THREE SECONDS AND LAY IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION.

Elmer turned off his light and lay on his back

IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME USING THE SYSTEM, I CAN PLAY RELAXING MUSIC TO HELP YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE SOME MUSIC (YES) NO.

He focused on yes and closed his eyes. A soft violin started playing in his ear, Wait. The room was quiet and his ears were uncovered. How was he hearing the music? Either way, it was relaxing and soothing. He felt himself drifting back and falling asleep faster than he thought possible.

Gabriela peeked in on her grandson and saw him sleeping with the helmet on. She touched him softly and checked his pulse. Normal and slow. This thing was magic and once more David was giving them a gift. She wanted to try it herself, but she was too old to play games. Games are for younger people.

Elmer was lying in a bed in a medieval-looking room. It was bright as daylight beamed in through a window. A very beautiful woman sat on the edge of his bed. She was blonde and had huge angel wings on her back. She wore a bathrobe that was tied with a golden ribbon. He found himself staring in amazement and focusing on her almost fully exposed chest. She coughed and he blushed looking up. She laughed and smiled. “My eyes are up here.” she laughed again and he sat up quickly and pushed away from her.

“Sorry, sorry. I didn’t mean to.” She just smiled at him.

“It’s okay. Now what can I call you?” he looked around a bit stunned.

“Elmer Perez.” She frowned

“Sorry can’t do that. You need to pick your name. Using your name from the other world is not allowed. You need to pick a new one, hero.” She just called him a hero. He liked the sound of that. He thought back to the old telenovela that he used to watch with Gran when he was little. He stood and took a heroic pose.

“Call me Edwardo.” he put a bit of a Spanish flare on his new name. Something about it felt epic and right. She smiled and clapped.

“Pleasure to meet you, Edwardo. I am Sirona the goddess of healing springs. If you go to the mirror you can change your race and appearance.”

“Race?” she stood and spun turning green and huge. Her wings were gone and she was now covered in mussels. She had to be seven feet tall with dark red hair. Small white tusks poked from her lower lip.

“This is an orc.” her sweet voice was now deep and booming. He tried not to stare at her chest again. Suddenly she spun again and was now thin with long pointed ears. Her skin was dark and her hair green. “You could choose a high elf like this one.” Edwardo turned to the mirror and looked at his reflection. He saw a bubble floating and it took him a moment to see several others. They were like sliders. He could move them and his appearance would change. He even saw one that gave him a list of races.

“I think I’ll stick with human for now.” he saw the goddess pouting.

“Booo. Humans are boring.” he shrugged and looked through the races again.

“Okay beastkin?” she clapped. “A pair of black horns poked from his head. “No, human. Sorry. That just didn’t look right.” he spent time playing with the sliders and put his hand on his chin. He pulled at his face in frustration and stared in amazement as his chin pulled down. He could pull and push on his face and body to change what he looked like. He molded his body into a thing of beauty. He now looked like a male movie star with an epic six pack. He flexed in the mirror and smiled. He turned to the goddess beaming. She looked up sweetly at him.

“Looking good. Now please select how you would like to see this world. You should also know that a handshake is the way items, coin and skills are transferred” she waved her hand in a strange way and a screen popped up and flipped to him. “Also please remember that gesture as it will help you open your menu and inventory.

Gore Level *--------I---------*

Nudity *-----------------I*

Light Level *--------I---------*

Pain *--I---------------*

Sound *--------I---------*

Profanity *-----I------------*

Notifications (ON) OFF

Friend Requests (ON) OFF

Random Encounters (ON) OFF

Rest Requirement (ON) OFF

Food Requirement (ON) OFF

HUD display (ON) OFF

His vision changed and he could see a blank map in the top right. In the top left was his health in red, stamina in yellow and mana in blue. If he focused on them it would show a number value. He saw blank boxes on the lower part of his vision that had hand signs under each. “What are these blank boxes with hand signs? He asked the goddess.” she smiled

“Good question. You can assign them to abilities, spells, tools or even items. All you have to do is hold the thing in question and focus on that box.”

“Epic.” he said shocked. This was so cool.

“Now have you given any thought as to how you’d like to play.”

“I’d like to be a fighter, hero. I see myself travailing around fighting evil. Maybe with a sword like Zorro?” she smiled and clapped.

“The fighter class would suit that. It can evolve into a swashbuckler.” that sounded cool as hell. “that is everything. Time to start.” she pointed at the door. He turned and walked confidently to it. Once though the threshold he turned back to look at the beautiful woman once more. It was a bit shocking to see a blank wall. This game was freaking crazy as hell. He looked around and saw he was in an active lively town. It seemed to be mostly full of attractive non human women. He walked around just looking at everything. He heard a strange roar in the distance and followed it to the center of town. He looked in horror as a huge blue, four armed man covered mussels. It had long black claws and a mane of white hair. It was swinging at two little girls with cat ears. They had to be five years old and they were fighting the huge monster openly. Much to his shock the townsfolk were just standing and smiling some openly laughing at this. The monster leaned down and roared into the faces of the little girls. They roared back and one tackled the monster who rolled with her swiping at the air. Edwardo knew he had to save them. He drew his wooden sword and ran across the town square. He yelled to get the monster’s attention as he raised his sword and then several things happened at once. The monster saw him, screamed and ran holding the small girl. The other one stood in front of Edwardo holding her arms out, her teeth bared.

“Leave him alone meanie.” the other one called from the arms of the monster to join her twin sister.

“Yeah go away. Don’t hurt our friend or we’ll kick your butt.” Edwardo just stood there stunned until three elf men all dressed in green cloaks and hoods dragged him to the ground and took his sword.

YOUR REPUTATION WITH NEW WELLS IS NOW HOSTEL. GUARDS WILL ATTACK OR TRY TO APPREHEND YOU ON SIGHT.

“You are under arrest for attacking a citizen of New Wells. Move or show any signs of hostility and we will kill you here and now.” He was dragged to a small cell. He sat there just thinking about what had happened. He was in the wrong, somehow. The monster was playing with the kids. He had attacked a peaceful monster. The fear in the monster’s eyes was clear and the way he ran with the child in it’s arms showed that he cared for her. Edwardo was not much of a hero in this moment. He looked up as a centaur walked in. she was wearing a green dress and had short blonde hair. She frowned down at him.

“Another troublesome hero. Tell me your side of things.” he looked up a sad look on his face and in his heart.

“I’m in the wrong.” she scoffed. “I misread the situation and thought that the monster was attacking the children and acted on that. I now see that it was playing with them.” she folded her arms and scowled at him. She sighed

“That is actually understandable. That being said, you did try to attack Heinz. Something must be done to make up for that.” she put a finger on her chin and thought. “You attacked him so you have to help him for three hours under protection of the town guard of course.” He stood and smiled up at her.

“I get a chance to apologize to him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” she seemed a bit worried. He was placed in handcuffs and escorted out to a field on the edge of town by the same three elves. All three kept their faces covered, but holes in their hoods allowed their ears to poke out. The one who had arrested him spoke.

“You will be picking medical herbs with Heinz for the next three hours. If you run, you will become an outlaw. You fail to work, you will become an outlaw. You attack him you will become an outlaw after we kill you. Trust me, you don’t want to have the outlaw title.” Edwardo just nodded.

“No sir. I just want to apologize to him. If I have to pick flowers to make up for it, I will.” the guard just nodded and pointed to the blue man hiding behind a tree. Edwardo just walked over there his head bowed and hands still cuffed. “I’m sorry.” he said looking at the ground. “I misjudged you. I hope you can forgive me?” the monster peeked from behind the tree.

“You plan to hurt me?” the fear in his voice broke Edwardo’s heart as he shook his head.

“No. I’m here to help you gather medical herbs to pay for scaring you.” He held up his cuffed hands to show the monster that he couldn’t do anything even if he wanted to. Some hero he was turning out to be. The monster stepped out and walked on his lower arms and feet like an ape. He was shaking with fear. “Is Heinz your name?” the monster nodded.

“What is yours?”

“Edwardo. You like gathering herbs.” Heinz was starting to settle down a little or at least it didn’t look like he was going to bolt at the slightest movement.

“Yes. They help people and make me happy.” This dude was the hero not Edwardo.

“Can you show me some?” Heinz walked over to a small flower and picked it up showing it to Edwardo. He told Edwardo everything about it and the two started picking herbs. After three hours a guard came to him and undid his handcuffs.

“Time is up, you are free to go.” Edwardo nodded and turned to Heinz

“So these are safe to eat.” Heinz nodded and the guard looked at him oddly.

“You are free to go.” Edwardo just waved at him as he leaned over another flower.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Thanks. I’m having fun with my new friend.”

YOUR REPUTATION WITH NEW WELLS IS NOW NEUTRAL. YOUR REPUTATION WITH HEINZ HAS GONE UP. YOU ARE NOW FRIENDLY. HEINZ WILL OFFER THE HERB GATHERING SKILL FOR 1 GOLD AT THE TRUSTED FRIEND LEVEL.

The guard just huffed and walked off. Heinz just looked over at him and gave him an evil smile. This guy was just scary looking, but very friendly. The two picked herbs for another two hours with the guards watching them from the trees. Heinz stood to his full height and looked down at Edwardo.

“Well, my new friend, this field has given all it can for today. Have I told you about my cousin?” he smiled showing off yellow tusks

YOU HAVE FOUND THE HIDDEN QUEST “PERRY THE PALADIN” WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCEPT THIS QUEST (YES) NO DELIVER INATORS TO HEINZ’S COUSIN IN THE EVIL INCORPORATED MOUNTAINS.

Edwardo smiled back at him. “No you haven’t told me about him.”

“If you are willing I have some Inators for him. I don’t like to fight so going to him isn’t possible.” he held out his hand and Edwardo took it. “thank you. He will be delighted to meet you.” Edwardo smiled as Heinz turned to walk back to town with the guards. Edwardo vowed not to judge a monster moving forward. He looked around and saw a green arrow on the ground. It pointed away from town. He shrugged and followed it. The day was nice and pleasant a gentle breeze flowed through the trees. He heard a strange noise coming from just ahead on the road. He saw a cute goat girl standing in the road. Small green men that were barely two feet tall stood around her as she screamed. All the green men had large noses and ears. All were dressed in loincloths that looked badly stained. The goat girl looked terrified as they closed in. Edwardo waved to her.

“Hello there, can I help you?” she gave him a slack jawed look.

“Who the hell asks that. Can you see the goblins around me.”

“Yeah and?”

“And they are goblins. They are going to rob and rape me.” the goblins froze and looked horrified at her. One ran behind a tree and started throwing up.

“God no. why would you think that?” one said

“Ewww, gross gross gross. No no. someone hit me with a rock to get that thought out of my head.” another said running around looking for a rock

“look what you did. You made Gobta throw up. What is wrong with you?” the first one said looking up at the goat girl in outrage. Edwardo walked up to them, a slight worried look on his face. Up close he could see the goat girl was cute. She had long brown hair and fur covered her forearms and legs and she even had hooves and cute goat horns that curled around on either side of her head. Large silver eyes looked out at him pleading for rescue.

“Calm down guys and tell me what is going on.” he said to the small green men.

“We had planned to rob her yes, but that other thing.” he grabbed his stomach and gave a small burping sound. “I cant even think about it. We haven’t eaten in days and I don’t even think my body can handle that thought right now.” he groaned and looked away from her.

“I do have some herbs you can have. They may be able to help.” the goblins cheered and one even stared crying. He sat down in a ring with the five goblins and started handing out food. The little guys ate slowly and had pleasant smiles on their faces. The first one looked up at him.

“Thank you so much hero. We needed this. Things have been rough since we lost our home and treasures.” some of them started crying

“Our treasures. don’t remind me.” Gobta said crying openly

“What happened?” Edwardo asked.

“Slimes came in and took over our cave. We lost Givboth, our food and most of all our treasures.” all were now openly crying.

YOU HAVE FOUND THE HIDDEN QUEST “MY PRECIOUS” ACCEPT (YES) NO. A LOCAL TRIBE OF GOBLINS HAVE ASKED FOR YOUR HELP IN CLEARING THEIR CAVE OF SLIMES. KILL COMMON SLIME x20 TO COMPLETE THIS QUEST.

He smiled at them. Lead the way. The little green men started cheering and hugging each other. Their leader or at least Edwardo thought he was the leader as he did most of the talking lead the group to a cave a good distance away. The goblins stopped at the treeline and Gobta pointed. “The thieving slimes are in there.” Edwardo smiled and walked into the cave. It smelled horrible and almost made him sick to his stomach. Dark and dank with mold growing everywhere. On a low ledge grew mushrooms. He looked around and saw a jelly ball moving towards him.

“Hey there little goo guy. Can you hear me?” the slime just bounced towards him. It jumped trying to attack. He brought out his wooden sword and slashed down. The monster split in two and burst into a puddle. Something shined inside the goo and Edwardo touched it with is sword.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOOT SLIME? WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENABLE AUTO LOOTING? (YES) NO. YOU HAVE FOUND 1 COPPER. YOU HAVE KILLED ONE SLIME. SLIMES x19 REMAINING. YOU HAVE GAINED 1 xp

Edwardo smiled as he hunted down and killed the remaining monsters. He was lucky as some of the mushrooms glowed allowing him to see everything. Half way through he felt a weird tingling sensation run over his body and it glowed softly.

YOU HAVE LEVELED UP. YOU ARE NOW A LEVEL 2 FIGHTER. ALL STATS RESTORED. PLEASE REMEMBER TO ASSIGN STAT POINTS.

He opened his profile page and dropped the three points into speed. He suddenly felt faster and lighter. This was amazing. He hunted down the last of them and went out to see the goblins. If this was gaming, Edwardo could see himself as a gamer. The goblin looked in a scared look on his face. Edwardo just waved at him. “All clear.” he called to the goblin. The little guy just stared jumping up and down cheering. The others ran in. Gobta tilted his head back and took a deep breath.

“It feels so good to be home.” a tear rolled down his cheek. Edwardo tried not to roll his eyes as he smiled at the goblins. “come hero. Once we have our treasures, we can reward you.” he followed them to the back of the cave and saw a large rock blocking the way. “Can you move this rock?” Edwardo braced himself and heaved rolling the rock aside. A shriek of fear came from inside. “Calm down Givboth it’s us.” the voice of an old goblin came out from the darkness.

“What about them slimes?” he asked

“Gone, this hero saved us.” the sound of weeping came out.

“Bless you sir.” the old goblin walked out supporting himself with a walking stick. The smell that joined him nearly made Edwardo throw up. The goblins hugged and ran inside.

“Our treasures.” body pillows. Edwardo looked slack jawed as the goblins picked up, hugged and even some of them kissed body pillows that had crude drawings of women on them or at least he hoped they were women. One of the goblins walked up to him holding a pillow out. “Here we can offer you one of our treasures.”

“No thank you little dude.” the smell coming off it was ungodly. He waved the little guy back. He smiled and hugged the pillow tighter.

“If you don’t that, we could offer you this.” he held up a black leather eye patch. Edwardo took it with a smile. This would make him look a bit cooler once it was washed.

YOU HAVE COMPLETED THE QUEST “MY PRECIOUS” YOU HAVE GAINED 20xp, 3 SILVER AND GOBLIN EYE PATCH. YOU HAVE GAINED THE TITLE MONSTER LOVER. THIS TITLE WILL MAKE MONSTERS MORE FRIENDLY, BUT WILL MAKE HUMANOID CREATURES LESS FRIENDLY.

“Well little guys, if you ever need my help, feel free to reach out.” they all cheered as he left.

“Can you believe she thought we wanted her. Gross. She is all lumpy and three delusional. Gross.” Gobta said.

“2D are the best.” the leader said rubbing his cheek on a body pillow.

Edwardo just smiled and went back to town to rest. He felt more like a hero now. The sun was starting to set and he was getting tired. He found a strange building that looked like a ship tipped on its side and half berried in the ground. He shrugged and opened the door and was met with a pleasant jingle as the door hit a bell hanging over it. He saw a beautiful bird woman standing behind the counter. She looked up and smiled.

“Come in, come in. I always welcome new coins. Tasty shiny coins. You do have coins, right?” he just nodded too stunned by her looks to say anything. “Good good. Come on in and have a seat.” he coughed and spoke, his voice cracking a little,

“I would like a room for a night iif you have oooone?” he was still standing in the doorway and was suddenly kicked from behind. A gruff old goat man walked in.

“Don’t just stand there like a gut less fool. Get your ass in there or I’ll kick it again.” he only had one eye and huge arms. Large goat horns poked out of his mostly bald head. The young cute goat girl came in and looked down at him, a bit of scorn on her face.

“You smell like goblin.” she sneered at him wrinkling her nose. He stood and got to a table. The bird woman came up to him and held out a hand. He just looked into her face a goofy grin on his own.

“We need to shake so I can get my coins.”

MAGGIE THE MAGPIE IS OFFERING YOU A ROOM FOR THE NIGHT FOR 3 SILVER. THIS SERVICE DOES COME WITH ONE BASIC MEAL. ACCEPT (YES) NO

He took her hand blankly as she accepted the coins. She had beautiful white feathers framing her face and long wing like arms. Her eyes just drew him in and held every scrap of his attention. Maggie just seemed to take this in stride and smiled down at him. He didn’t notice the goat girl looking at him with anger on her face. Maggie just smiled at him and hopped to the back. He couldn’t look away from her. “Hay runt. Put your eyes back in your head before someone knocks them out.” the old goat man said. Edwardo just nodded and looked around the room. The place was nice, warm and pleasant. He had trouble remembering that this was all a game he was playing. The food came and he looked down at a strange stew. He took a long smell of it. It smelled amazing in all the right ways. He picked up a wooden spoon and took a scoop that had a chunk of meat in it. It tasted great. The right seasoning and it filled his stomach in the best way. He quickly ate it. When he was done, Maggie led him down a fight of stairs to a room in the basement. It was tight, but had everything he needed. A bed and a bucket of water to clean himself. She closed the door behind him and he was alone. He had half hoped she would offer to stay with him or at least kiss his cheek.

“I wonder if there is a shop in town.” at the word shop, a screen popped up in front of him. It looked like any normal online window. The prices were in gold, silver, and copper though. He even saw something he really wanted. A clean scroll. He would have to buy some of those when he had the chance. For now he would have to bathe in a bucket of warm water. When he was clean and happy, he laid down and enjoyed the soft feather bed. “I wonder if these are made from her feathers?” he turned over and took a deep breath trying to smell something, but the bed was too clean. He sighed and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep.