Thursday 8^th Feb 2018

At the end of yesterday’s match congratulations were sung to the home team and then all of us went home to my flat. Layla’s flat. Whatever… We squashed around my laptop in the kitchen to watch a replay of the half-time interview. 

“Let’s skip this bit,” urged Jade, as Blazer’s confused face filled the screen. I obligingly clicked along the video progress bar, but not before taking another second to savour the fear in Blazer’s eyes. 

“What was wrong with that guy anyway?” asked Shane, but his question was lost amidst Jade’s cooing when I forwarded to the later part of the video and Shane’s own face appeared. Jade couldn’t seem to stop enthusing over how “cute” he looked on camera. It’s like she wasn’t even there watching him do it in real life. Speaking of which,

Note to self: Never do a TV interview without first checking a mirror. Why didn’t Jade tell me my hair was sticking up like that??

Update: I asked Jade. She said she thought I was going for ‘increased volume’. 

Note to self: Carry mirror. 

Everyone was in a party mood. Layla investigated the wine cupboard (organised according to Tessa’s system of classification by colour, region and year) and brought out several bottles, starting a loud discussion between Tessa and Ethan over which was more appropriate to celebration. I was itching to sneak off, find Adam and listen to him praise my performance in the final task. I was also desperately scared that he might say it was a huge mistake to expose Blazer in such a public and flamboyant way. Perhaps secret agents shouldn’t appear on television. What if I’d sabotaged my whole career before it even starts?

But I couldn’t desert the party. My nervous jitters ended up causing me to drink far more than I should have. Suddenly it was past midnight and there was no hope of finding Adam. Or forming a comprehensible sentence in his presence. So I figured that I might as well be hung for a sheep…

Note to self: NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.

Shopping list:

- Paracetamol

On the bright side, being 7th wheel turned out to be my saving grace. All the couples found a very good reason to disappear around midnight, effectively cutting off my wine supply. I crawled into my own room and passed out, only waking late this morning. The smell of frying food drew me into the kitchen, where a breakfast-themed rerun of the previous night’s party was taking place. Turns out Dylan makes a mean omelette.

Note to self: Fluffy eggs = amazing hangover cure

It was just me, Layla and Dylan, as Ethan and Tessa had already gone out somewhere and Shane and Jade left in a taxi last night. Even so, I felt a pang of pre-homesickness for this cosy circle of friends that I’ve built. The past couple of weeks had been hectic, but everything turned out well. Now I was facing yet another scary and intimidating realm of unknown. Assuming that I had indeed passed the final test, I had very little idea about what my secret agent training would encompass (I imagine magnifying glasses don’t feature greatly these days). It was feasible to expect that my new life would take me far away from my new life. I mean my new-new life… Whatever.  

Layla noticed my maudlin expression and tried to cheer me up by showing me the pictures she’d taken at the football match. As per usual, she’d captured some brilliant moments: hard-core fans in mid roar, a girl checking her phone in the thick of a leaping crowd

And there…. no, it couldn’t be! 

It was Adam.

Later…

Like a schoolgirl with a crush, I hugged my phone and the picture of Adam to me all the way to Cosy Nook Cafe. There was only one photo of him. I think Layla was taken aback when I pounced on the camera and demanded that she should send it to me instantly, but she did. And now I have it. Solid proof that he was there, tracking my progress. 

Note to self: When I’m a secret agent, find a way to employ Layla to come along on missions with me. Her camera captures all the important details that I miss in real life. 

In the gaps when I wasn’t obsessively checking the photo, the familiar old worry had returned to nag at my brain.  Was it cheating to have accepted help with my entrance tasks? Adam never explicitly forbade it. And I never told Layla or the others about the missions. I might have surprised them with my strange ideas and demands, but hopefully they just think I’m adorably quirky. The fact remains that I would have failed miserably without them. 

I was still turning all of that over in my mind as I reached the cafe. Lost in thought, I stood pulling stupidly on the handle for a couple of moments, wondering why the door was so stiff. 

Then it struck me. The café was closed. A notice on the door proclaimed staff illness. Top marks for observation, Sophie. What did I do now? Just as panic was starting to set in, a hand touched my shoulder. Warm tingles fizzed down my spine. I didn’t even need to turn to know who it was.

Adam.

“Hey.” His expression was grave. “Let’s go to my place.”

He walked off and I stared after him. To his PLACE?!

It turned out he lives in a student dorm on campus.

Wait, scrap that. He doesn’t live there. That ridiculously tidy room must be just a campus base for him. No room with an actual guy living in it could have been that clean. 

Sophie Dayton - Observation Queen.

He invited me to sit in the only chair and I did. He settled on the bed, facing me. 

“You were there!” I blurted. Damn, I was going to play it cool. 

The corner of his mouth turned up. “Yes, yes I was.”

“Did you see the interview?”

“Not directly, but afterwards of course.”

“And…?”

“And you ought to carry a mirror.” 

My jaw dropped. He looked back steadily for a few seconds, and then his face cracked into a huge grin. “I’m kidding Sophie. I mean, yes your hair was a bit messy but it didn’t change the fact that you smashed it!”

A surge of hope rushed through me. “Really?”

“Absolutely! Top marks all around. Great touch putting Blazer on TV. He’ll be totally discredited now. The laughing stock of the industry. Shouldn’t think we’ll see him in the field again any time soon. If ever. Seriously, well done, Sophie.”

I grinned like an idiot. “So it didn’t matter that I appeared on TV as well? I was a bit worried about that afterwards.”

He shook his head. “You were a faceless interviewer at a student game. Blazer was the one acting weirdly. I mean, the dude could have at least tried to answer your questions.”

“Think I caught him a bit off-guard.”

“Yes, from what I hear, you literally caught him. You’ve got some guts, Sophie. Throwing yourself at him like that. He could have had a gun or a knife.”

That was a sobering thought. “Well, I had a camera crew right behind me… It didn’t seem like he’d try anything violent in such an exposed situation.”

Adam nodded. “And that’s exactly why you’re well-suited for this work. You can read situations quickly. You anticipate people’s behaviour based on their interests and motives.”

I squirmed a little. “Actually Adam, I wanted to talk to you about something.”

His smile disappeared. “If you’re having second thoughts, I can understand.“

“No, it’s not that. It’s more, well… I have to confess…” I looked at my shoes. “I haven’t exactly been doing the tasks on my own. I’ve had help.”

Adam didn’t even blink. He nodded again. “I know. We even arranged for some of that help.” Turning to the wardrobe in the corner, he called, “You can come out now.”

The wardrobe door opened and out stepped… Ethan.

Seriously? The wardrobe? It was like a terrible Scooby Doo moment.

“Hey Sophie,” Ethan waved sheepishly and then sat next to Adam on the bed. 

“You were…You knew!” Words failed me. It felt like I’d been punk’d. 

Ethan held up his hands to show innocence. “Wasn’t my idea to deceive you Sophie, and I didn’t like doing it. Couldn’t really go against the boss here though.” He jerked a thumb towards Adam. 

“What about working alone? I thought you said you didn’t join the guys at The Future because you prefer being a lone wolf!”

He adjusted his glasses. “No, I said I didn’t want to join The Future because I already knew more than any of them, and because I prefer being a lone wolf. And that’s entirely accurate. I do prefer it. I’m just not so ‘lone’ in my working habits at present.”

I was shaking my head at this slippery answer when Adam put in, “To be fair to him Sophie, Ethan wasn’t in on it at the start. We were impressed when you managed to track him down and we decided it was better for him to remain a part of the testing procedure. It was very helpful for us to be able to observe you at home. Plus we could control what information you received and to see how you reacted to it.”

I recalled how Ethan had ‘fed’ me the info about Blazer and tried to suppress my indignance. In the end, Ethan fooling me wasn’t much different to what I had been doing to my other friends. “But you know, Ethan wasn’t the only person who helped me…”

Adam nods, “Yes but the others didn’t have any idea what they were helping you with. From what Ethan reports, you were very astute in recruiting people to your cause without disclosing your real reasons.”  

“They probably all think I’m nuts.”

Ethan snorted. “In that household? You’re the most normal person there.”

Adam grinned. “I’d like to meet your flatmates. But the main point here is that you’ve proven yourself to be resourceful, you can think on your feet, and you’re able to make use of your contacts without endangering the mission. As far as I’m concerned, you passed all the tests with flying colours.”

I swallowed. “So what does that mean? For my future?”

Adam glanced at Ethan, then looked back at me. “You’ve got a job. If you want one, Sophie. As I’ve explained before, it doesn’t come without a price. You’ll be a potential target from the moment you sign the contract. What Ethan just said about you being normal – that won’t apply anymore. You’ll be the opposite of normal. And I mean for the rest of your life. It’s not the kind of career you can ever truly retire from.”

I looked at Ethan. “Is this what you’ve chosen?”

Ethan frowned and shook his head. “Not exactly. I’m more of an independent contractor. I have skills in a specific field and Adam calls on me when he needs them. It’s very rare for me to do anything away from a computer screen. This was a special case because I had already made contact with you.” His cheeks reddened. “And then I met Tessa at your place…” he trailed off. 

Adam frowned. “Sophie, this is important. It’s not ideal to develop feelings while on a job like this. In Ethan’s case it was of some benefit that he got into a relationship with your flatmate, but it could also have been feigned, without any feelings on his side. Emotions tend to blind you and you must learn to harden yourself to them.” His eyes pierced right through me.

I shifted nervously. Could he tell that I had kind of a crush on him? I thought I’d done an ok job of hiding it but then Adam was a professional in observation. He could probably read me like a book. I felt my face flaming and squirmed even more.

Adam cleared his throat. “So you have an answer for me already, Sophie? Or would you like some more time to think about it?”

I hesitated, but in my heart, I knew that I’d done all of my thinking long ago. Despite all the frustration and confusion of the past couple of weeks, some part of me had revelled in having a challenge to get my teeth into. It had pushed and stretched me more than anything I’d encountered before. I’d lost some of my innocence and I was sure I’d never be able to go back to normal life or settle for a lifetime of mediocrity. I wanted to do something amazing. Like my parents! Speaking of which, I also wanted to uncover the mystery surrounding their deaths. I vowed to get onto that as soon as I had a better idea of the world I was entering and the contacts to help me solve it. I raised my eyes to Adam. “I don’t need any more time. I’m ready to answer right away.”

“So what will it be?”

“I’ll take it.”

Adam’s face broke into a warm smile and he rose from the bed, holding out his hand. “Excellent, Sophie! I’m happy to welcome you to the team.” 

I stood too, and we shook hands very formally. Adam’s hand was warm and comforting. I didn’t want to let go of it.  

Ethan got up too and clapped me on the back. “Nice one, Sophie. Looking forward to working more with you.”

There wasn’t much more to say after that. My training would begin immediately and it would mean travelling to another country. My rent would be paid for me while I was gone. Adam told me to go home and pack only the essentials. The equipment that I would need for the training would be provided. Whatever that meant.

On the bus home I tried, and failed, to wrap my head around what was to come. My mind kept going back to Adam’s expression in the moment when I said I would join. It might have been the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen. Did it mean he was glad that I decided to join? He said he’d be there to meet me at the airport later. I hope it means he’s coming too, wherever I’m going. 

But even if he’s not, I know I’ll be alright. The future is uncertain, but now I understand that some part of me prefers it that way. Little did those university officials know what a favour they were doing me in throwing me out.

Now all I have to do is figure out how to keep my dearest friend with me during my training. Of course, my Dear, I’m talking about you. Maybe I’ll learn about codes and cool shit like that. We could soon be communicating in our very own private language.

I have to go and pack now, but don’t worry, I’ll update you very soon. As soon as I know where I’m going.

Until then, Dear Diary!

With much love,
Sophie Dayton,
Secret Agent