When I woke up, I wasn’t alone for a change. Opening my eyes, I was stared back by Mr. Sealy’s soft eyes, the plushie I had given Abby when I started realising my feelings for her. My guess is, she gave it to me so I had something to hold after she got up. Well, it worked because it had been five hours or so since she got up as a counter measure for me to get lonely and leave the bed in search of her. Weird how the toy had worked where pillows previously had failed.

“I left you in bed so you could take a proper rest. Kisses” her text read. I was thankful for it, but still, a part of me wished she had woken me. School would still be mostly introductions and a waste of time, so I’m guessing it’s fine that she didn’t.

“And how did you sleep?” I asked the seal, waving his small fins in imitation to how Abby usually played with it. Shame how it was me doing it, alone, instead of having her resting her head on my lap, my fingers running through her hair as she did the playing.

More importantly than idly sitting in bed with a toy, I should get some food in me. My stomach was so empty that I felt it in an intense and painful vacuum. My last meal had been more than half a day ago after all.

William’s door was open, meaning he was out for the day. Sophie’s door however was shut and no sound came of it, making it impossible for me to determine if I was completely alone or not.

Walking by it, I heard steps from the other side and the door handle rattle.

I had the feeling I had seen her face yesterday, but with out of sorts I was, it left no impression on my mind. Now, I wasn’t too sure how to feel. She looked exactly how I felt yesterday, with sunken cheeks, dark circles and visibly shaking a fair bit, that I attributed to copious amounts of coffee that I could smell from her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked awkwardly after we measured each other in silence for what felt like an eternity.

I couldn’t say I hated her per se, but I certainly didn’t like her. Still, she was Abby’s older sister and someone very important to her, so I’d at least try to be polite. That’s what my worst side wanted to say, but honestly, she looked too much like her younger sister for me to keep a cold heart.

“I’m still feeling a bit groggy, but that might be from sleeping too much.”

“Yeah, well… you did sleep ever since you got here,” she agreed, opening up the door a bit more and assuming a more relaxed posture.

“…Have you eaten already? I’m about to make lunch.”

“Oh, you don’t have to. Abby made something for you yesterday.”

Yeah, figured as much. Being on the receiving end of being taken care of was a bit weird, but I’m sure Abby was, in a way, happy to “finally give back”.

“Then… won’t you join me?”

She gripped the wood of the door and bit her lip, briefly looking away. “You sure you don’t mind?” she asked in a raspy voice.

Honestly, I did. I’d much rather have a meal in peace without having to deal with her, but again, I’d try to be polite for Abby’s sake.

Furthermore, I wasn’t getting any hostility from her. Rather, what I was getting was… it was something akin to Sophie being a whipped dog.

As I prepared everything, Sophie kept following me with her gaze, silently thinking about something. Or maybe she wasn’t thinking at all. Her eyes were completely vacant the few times mine met hers.

“You are well acquainted with the place, huh?” she asked as I sat down after serving the food. Abby had done a somewhat heavy dish, but at this point I needed all the calories I could get. Rice with cheese, chicken and chopped potatoes, a nice layer of mayo, breadcrumbs and spices coating the top, gratinated until slightly brown. It was so mouth watering that I didn’t realise what she was implying until I scarfed down four mouthfuls. I had re-heated it and my tongue was complaining, but I sure didn’t care, possessed by hunger as I was. A few days ago—or maybe yesterday?—Abby commented that I didn’t show any excitement about eating. If only she could see me now…

Using the fact I was chewing as an excuse to buy me time as I thought about how to answer, I couldn’t figure out how to proceed without telling her in one way or another that her sister and I were now dating. I couldn’t infer if she already knew or if she suspected from her previous question, and I didn’t want to be the one breaking her the news.

“We did spend a lot of time together during summer,” was my copout after I swallowed.

I had thought the tension would impact me more than what it actually was doing, but I was too famished to really care. Abby really had exceeded herself this time.

On the other hand, while I was deeply enjoying the food, Sophie seemingly was merely going through the motions.

“Aren’t you hungry?” I asked reflexively.

She looked at me, surprised that I even asked.

“I am, but at the same time I’m not,” Sophie croaked, looking at her fork as she pushed around a bit of potato. “It’s like I have a knot right in the middle of my stomach.

“…Is something on your mind?”

She was looking more and more like her sister back when Abby was at her worse possible time. And like her sister, she shook her head and put on a brave face.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it,” she said, briefly giving me a fake smile.

“…If you say so, but… you and your sister are very similar.”

She put down the fork and held her face. She was awfully quiet and not moving a single muscle. I don’t think she was even breathing.

“I don’t know what to do,” she suddenly sobbed. “I’ve been focusing on finishing my internship report, but… I’ve finished it a bit before you woke up and I don’t know what to do next… Just… what am I supposed to do?”

After all the time I spent with Abby, I could tell exactly what she was talking about.

Their whole life they had been told by their mother what they were going to do every single second of their lives. Abby was lucky, being the youngest of the two and having had me suggest she becoming a PE teacher, but Sophie… I couldn’t see her having any friends and she was at a point in her life where she had invested a lot of effort and time into something that was no longer on the table. Add to that the fact she had to deal with Abby’s sexuality and relationship with me… It didn’t excuse her past actions, but if I wanted to her Abby make up with her elder sister, I couldn’t hold to grudges.

I wasn’t sure she’d allow me, but I still got up and moved closer to her, intending on hugging her. Surprisingly enough, she latched on to me, her cries sounding a lot like Abby’s, tearing my heart apart.

And if they were this similar, I’d comfort her the same way I would Abby until her tears dried out.

 

“I can see why she likes you.”

Those words she spoke, still in a raspy voice were the first meaningful ones after she apologized for having an emotional breakdown in front of me.

We were now seated on the couch, a small distance separating us. She had a nice cry and after that, we finished eating and sat down after doing the dishes.

“T-thanks,” I stammered, feeling my face grow hot.

“…H-how far did you…”

“…Erm… I think Abby should…”

She shifted in her spot, probably figuring out we had gone all the way already. I wasn’t going to look, nor did I need to know what face she was making. I didn’t know if she had given it any thought during her internship, but now that she had all that behind her, it was time to face it regardless.

She couldn’t talk with her sister, she admitted. Not after having made Abby feel rejected and caused her so much pain as a result, specially in such a fragile moment in her sister’s life.

“I need to figure out my life so she can live hers with you.”

I couldn’t help but loudly groan at such a dumb statement. These sisters are the most similar in the worst aspects of their personalities and it was driving me crazy.

“What if that’s not she wants?” I asked her, not having the patience to be nice this time. “Have you thought of that?”

She looked at me, her lower lip trembling.

“How could she? I’m just like our—”

“No, you are not!” I cut her off. “Look, I was hit by that woman twice, I can tell you with absolute certainty that she cannot feel regret nor think of her actions as anything other than right and good. You however are sitting here, guilt tripping yourself.”

“…She hit you again?”

Telling her about it opened up the doors for me to also tell her about Abby’s latest accomplishments. I told her about how she now has a more positive outlook on life, friends, no longer has nightmares… if it was a positive thing, I told her about it.

“Wow, my baby sister really grew, huh?” she hummed, sounding very proud. She slid to her side, resting her head on the armrest, and curling her legs. “Right now she has even outgrown me. You know, I kinda envy her. She was always more free spirited than I am, and now, because of that, I’m feeling a bit lost without having someone telling me what to do.”

“There’s got to be something you’d like to do, right?”

“Not really. I don’t know if Abby ever told you, but if it wasn’t something that’d help us becoming what mum wanted us to be, we never got to do it. Much less if it was something we enjoyed.”

“…Abby also told me that you played along more so she could have some breathing space.”

“…She’s my baby sister after all.”

The tone of her voice as she spoke those last words spoke volumes of how she felt towards Abby. She had failed her, and she didn’t know how to mend their broken bond. It also showed that she wanted to make amends, and so did Abby. If the two were on the same page, I’d just have to give them a little nudge. No idea how I’d be doing that, but fretting over it also wouldn’t help. Maybe I could invite Sophie to come with us somewhere during the weekend?

Maybe that’d work, but… I’d prefer to be just me and Abby.

After a whole week of coming and going to school, being surrounded by people, lazing in bed until ten and then go for a walk before lunch and spend the rest of the day goofing around the house, away from others, was all I wanted. But that was just me being selfish. Helping them was far more important than what I wanted.

“I really don’t like how you’re always the one making sacrifices in our relationship,” I remembered Abby telling me yesterday after I took a shower at school.

Again, this was more important. It was also a small sacrifice I’d be doing. We could very well invite her to join our walk. And if I were to be completely honest, the idea of Sophie becoming more accepting of our relationship thanks to me helping and them getting along also comes to mind.

“I can see why Abby likes you. You’re a nice girl,” she hummed, sounding like she was about to fall asleep.

Right after I thought such self-serving thing, she had to say those words… Really, why do people say that I’m “good” or “nice”? Most of the times, what I do, I do it solely for my peace of mind.

“Erm, could I ask you not to tell her about our conversation?”

And why is it that everyone keeps asking me to keep secrets? For me, that was just as bad as lying. At least in this case I could see some reason to comply. I’d help the two, no doubts about that, but they should still talk openly and honestly with each other without me serving as a delivery person.

Just like Abby, she ate her fill, had a bit of a cry and now that was with a lighter conscience, was falling deep asleep. Seeing her looking so helpless tugged my heartstrings and I got up to go fetch a sheet to cover her. Temperature wise, I didn’t think it was all that necessary, but since she was all curled up and sleeping, maybe she was a bit cold? Regardless, a thin summer sheet wouldn’t be too much to have over her.

Now what?

Typically, some house chores, but taking into account Sophie sleeping in the living room… I guess I could go read or watch videos on the internet in the bedroom until Abby came back.

 

“Hi there.”

I rubbed my eyes and took a good look at Abby. She was still in her uniform, straddling me with her hands on my shoulders and smiling lovingly as she waited for me to be ready for a welcoming kiss.

“How was school?” I asked after giving her a good one.

“Boring. I missed you. I also brought homework,” she told me between pecks.

“Already?” I asked, trying to pull my head away, but Abby was feeling needy and followed after with hers, the distance staying the same.

“Don’t worry, we just have to read a few pages,” she assured me with a honey-sweet voice. “Now, kissies.”

If it was merely reading a few pages, it was all good then. Still, wouldn’t she prefer to change out of her uniform?

“…Pfft, hehe. How about you help me change?” she asked with an impish smile. “My sister is fast asleep, you know?”

I had intended to talk with her about Sophie, but if she was going to tease me like that, then it’d wait for a bit.

 

Abby had her back pressed on me, an arm serving as her pillow as I held her close, my face resting on her hair. Just that wasn’t feeling enough, so I slanted her forward a bit and placed a leg between hers. Now it was perfection.

We sighed at the same time and then we giggled at the same time. It was just like summer had been.

“You’ll fill me with hickeys if you keep kissing me like that,” she warned as I kiss her neck.

I stopped, not because I didn’t want it to happen, but because her warning came too late. Abby realised that when she looked at me and saw what face I was making.

She laughed and pulled my head back to the side of her neck.

We weren’t going anywhere else today, and by tomorrow they’ll have disappeared, so I’m guessing she was fine with it?

“I’ve been thinking, that sheet covering my sister, is it ours?”

“Yeah. We had lunch together and talked a bit.”

She looked at me, shocked by the news.

With some dancing around, I managed to convince her that it was mostly nothing, just a bit about the food and little else. At least that was what I hoped I had achieved.

“And the real talk was about what?” she asked.

“…You two and her plans for the future. Sorry, but that’s all I can say.”

“But you two didn’t argue nor anything, right?”

“Yeah… we got along.”

“Hmm… I guess that’s what matters at the end of it.”

Just like that, she dropped the subject. It still didn’t make me feel any better. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to bear with it for long. Only time could tell.