用人不疑，疑人不用 (yòng rén bù yí, yí rén bú yòng) – Choose a person and don't doubt them, doubt a person and don't chose them, i.e. Don't choose a person you don't trust, but trust those people that you choose.
“Ah. Siu Wan. She is a very distant relative of the Dzue Royal Family.”
“As my mother was... is...?”
“No, much closer. She's your father's-”
“Don't call him that.”
“Dzi Ming's cousin's nephew's grand-daughter.”
“Right. So calling her Dzue Yi-sang....”
“Is just a nickname. That branch of the family was called Haat1核 (haat6) - seed..”
“Haat Ngan Wan?”
“Right. Written as 'seed' and 'silver cloud'.”
“I see...” The words stuck in Zéyì's throat. “How... Is she the last...?”
“Dzi Ming's cousin was lucky,” Gong Lau Yan explained, understanding. “She was visiting Shisuan at the time. And yes... she was the only... the only one of the of the royal relatives outside of Dzue. Ha... what timing...”
“Are you still hoping to restore Dzue? With Dzue Yi...Dzue Yi-sang as Regent?”
“Zé-”
“Right?”
Gong Lau Yan's face crumpled. It took her a few breaths to regain her composure. “It's just a dream.”
Rather than confirm or deny this statement, Zéyì said, “You've not found any sign of her, then?”
“... None.”
“Where... have you looked?”
Gong Lau Yan reclined back in her chair, clicking her tongue. From the gardens all around them, twigs and dead leaves whirled up and over to where the two women sat, hovering over the table. The vegetative debris began to form a neat three-dimensional map of the Four Kingdoms, as well as the ruined Kingdom of Dzue. Leaning forwards, Gong Lau Yan began to point out locations. The tip of her finger trembled very slightly.
“If we start from the west, in Zhàng...”
Zéyì twitched.
“Are you alright?”
“I'm alright.”
“... In Zhàng, the Eagle's Nest Sanctuary, Yīng Bì-hù-suǒ. You don't know it? It's a cultivation stronghold in the mountains. In Huang, Yuan Wei Temple. In Shisuan, the schools of Mount Hua. I visited them all to make use of their intelligence networks. In between, I've been going to Dzue for as long as I can-”
“How's your health?” asked Zéyì, looking intently at her now-cold tea.
“I'm... I'm not that well. There's no pretending, Zéyì, I'm not well.” Gong Lau Yan 's eye sockets were dark and hollow, her skin dry and flaking. Her very movements, usually graceful and certain, carried a tremulous quality. Shoulders slumped, gaze lowered, she looked tired and defeated.
“Do you want my help?”
“I... Only if you want to give it.”
The day was still, so still, no breeze ruffling the leaves of the trees in the garden, nor sending ripples across the surface of the water of the constructed ponds.
Zéyì clasped her hands and closed her eyes. “I want...” She choked on her tongue and forced it out again with a frustrated cough. “I want to say... say yes. But when I think of it... Even now...” The world spun. “I'm... I'm scared. Gong Dze, I'm so scared that the blood leaves my head and I can't feel my hands. I want to say yes... But I don't know if I can right now.”
A few tears crawled miserably down her cheeks, chasing her shuddering breaths.
“Why am I so scared? Am I so weak?”
Gong Lau Yan shook her head. “No, it's not surprising. I.. hadn't been entirely honest with you. And with your experiences with Mun Gong, and everything else...” Her expression changed. “Your elder brother too, if I remember right.”
Zéyì's laugh had a slightly hysterical edge. “Mother wrote about that too. She was scared of Elder Brother... of Chūn Sōng Róng. Terrified he would find out who I was... And then he found out anyway, and she was right.” Her eyes stared at the lotus leaves floating on the pond, without seeing a single one. “I don't know how he found out. I was about eleven... no, I suppose I would have been thirteen years old? I don't even know... He came into my bedroom in the middle of the night with his longest hairpin. Luckily I sleep on my side, and he wasn't very strong, so his first stab hit my collarbone instead of the vein in my neck...”
Her voice was dreamy and distant. “That's what they said, anyway. The doctors. I heard them... Mother and Fath- Chūn Shénzhī acted like it hadn't really happened, like it was a nightmare or a hallucination.” Her fingers crept subconsciously to her left collarbone.
“Zéyì, do you want to stay in Chūn?”
“I don't know anymore!” She began to laugh helplessly, dropping her hand. “I decided that I would return and take the throne, and then I'd be able to help you find Dzue Yii-sang, and restore Dzue, and we'd live happily ever after... It was such a sweet little daydream. And now... now I don't know.” Her unfocused eyes drifted over to Gong Lau Yan, clearing a little. “Lady Gong, you need to drink some more. Your lips are cracking.”
Gong Lau Yan swallowed some more tea and stood. “Your Majesty, would you mind if I borrowed Cheng Guk Lung for a while? He might be able to assist me in my search.”
“Of course. Please do.”
With a single bow, Gong Lau Yan departed, leaving Zéyì to stare aimlessly at the patterns in the wooden beams above her head. It seemed like moments later that a servant climbed the two steps to the pavilion.
“Your Majesty.”
“Hm? Ah... Yes, what is it?”
“The Head of Intelligence has inquired as to whether you might have time to visit her, Your Majesty.”
“Of course.” Zéyì shook herself and stood. “Where is she?”
“In the medical quarters, Your Majesty.”
Oh.
“Lead me to her.”
The medical quarters were quiet and peaceful, a series of buildings a little detached from the rest of the palace. The gardens here contained a mix of medicinal plants and shady trees for convalescing patients to sit under. The doctors and healers bowed to Zéyì as she passed, but she kept her gaze straight ahead. If she lost focus, her mind would start drifting towards the worst case scenario. One foot in front of the other. Eyes forward, no left or right.
At the door to one of the wards, the servant paused and knocked - “Lady, Her Majesty has arrived.” - and withdrew immediately.
Zéyì opened the door.
Shǔ Kuí sat by the bedside, nursing her swelling stomach and removing her cloth mask. Zéyì's eyes, however, were on the man in the bed.
Even with his entire torso was swathed in bandages, Yáng Jìn tried to sit up and bow. His lower lip was deeply split, and although it had healed, when he smiled it gaped concerningly. Another bandage covered the side of his head. In spite of his extensive injuries, his expression was filled with energy.
Zéyì frowned scoldingly, but she felt a knot in her stomach dissolve. “Commander, you are forbidden from doing anything other than resting. Do you want me to have you arrested for defying a royal order?”
“I sincerely apologise for being unable to bow to you during our first meeting, given everything you have done for us, Your Majesty. However, I'd rather you didn't arrest me, given the circumstances.”
Hands clasped, the couple bent gentle smiles towards each other.
“Have you decided whether or not to formally marry?” Zéyì asked, planning to leave as soon as she had an answer.
“Your Majesty, as long as I am Head of Intelligence, I would rather leave as few official traces of myself as possible,” Shǔ Kuí said.
“That's... I respect your decision, but as someone who was instrumental in bringing about significant change to Chūn, it's hard for me to accept.”
Shǔ Kuí simply smiled. “What are your plans now, Your Majesty?”
Zéyì opened her mouth. She was going to say something about compensating the families of those who had lost loved ones to Chun Yili's actions, about repairing relationships with Zhàng whilst refusing marriage talks, about revising laws and visiting the rural areas of the country and... and...
Nothing came out of her mouth.
Shǔ Kuí stepped into the silence. “Your Majesty... Thank you.”
“... For... what, exactly?”
“For helping us,” Shǔ Kuí said simply. “I don't think either of us... I don't think any of us...” Her arms tightened around her pregnant belly. “... would be here without you. Some days I would curse myself for having gotten into this state-”
“It's my fault,” Yáng Jìn interrupted.
“It takes two people, humans at least, to make a child, Jìn,” Shǔ Kuí said severely. “And I was almost paralysed with fear. Why had we done this? The Regent would never let it continue. We were risking our lives for this. Was it worth it?
“The answer is yes, Your Majesty.” Shǔ Kuí's usually sharp eyes were soft with love. “Being afraid, and doing what you want and know is right anyway... I've lived my life based on my wits and my logic. This once, I'm allowing myself to live a little. We've been struggling all this time for happiness. It's time to be happy now.”
A funny sound escaped Zéyì. “Did Gong Lau Yan come by here?”
Shǔ Kuí's smile was sly. “What do you mean, Your Majesty?”
“I see. Only a few days on this job and you're already conspiring against me. Shǔ Kuí?”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“How much longer can you work before you need to rest in preparation?”
“If I have to work right up to the hour before I give birth, I will.”
“No, please don't do that. That's not at all necessary. But I'm going to need your help. And Cheng Guk Lung's.”
“Whatever you order, Your Majesty.”
“We will convene a meeting in half a shi, at the throne room annex. You, Cheng Guk Lung, and I.”
“Certainly, Your Majesty. What will we discuss?”
The swirls of white in Zéyì's eyes glowed as she grinned. “Only who will be the ruler of Chun while I'm gone on an adventure.”
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