"Tsubaki-dono! Tsubaki-dono!"

Eitsu opened her eyes to the sound of Ayame calling. Although disoriented, she hastened back into her human form and clothing, snatched up the box of pelts, then crawled out of her hiding place to find the servant girl shaking the dancer. Tsubaki remained unconscious, a sheen of sweat on her skin and her eyelids twitching rapidly. Her lips moved.

"Eitsu-san, what's happening? Why won't she wake?"

"Don't panic, I'll wake her up."

She pressed a hand to Tsubaki's forehead. A scent of pine... Something cold...

"Get out," she hissed.

"Make me," Rei replied childishly.

They stared at each other, cat and fox, kaibyou and kitsune, in their true forms. A human watching would not have been able to comprehend the scene. Where Eitsu stood was a bizarre figure that seemed to be formed of familiar cat-like concepts, and yet could not be reconciled with any known creature, the pure embodiment of agnosia.

Rei's eye sockets were empty holes. His white fur was patchy, revealing rotting, burnt flesh. When he spoke, his jaws split his face to his ears.

Eitsu extended and retracted her claws angrily. If she fought him now -

"-what might happen to poor Tsubaki-san's mind?" Rei mused, watching his fur creep off him and disappear into darkness. "You look at a loss, precious one."

His voice was low in her ear. "You know what to do."

I know what to do...

"Hm...you're right."

Between one step and the next, Eitsu was there and gone, and then she was standing beside a glowing red light, surrounded by a dark mist. There was no time to determine what it was, exactly – she took it in what might be considered hands, or paws, or... and ran, Rei right behind her.

"I guess all your running away has made you very fast," she observed.

"If you know I'll catch you why don't you stop?"

"I didn't say you would catch me."

And to the glowing light in her hands, she said, "Wake up, Tsu-bo. Wake up now. You're in a nightmare. Wake up."

A white tail wound between her legs and almost pulled her off balance, but she twisted and righted herself, and the darkness began to brighten around them.

"Tsu-bo, I'm here. I'm here, wake up. Wake up."

There was a sound like a struck bell.

"I'm awake."

"Tsubaki-dono!"

"...Tsu-bo."

Tsubaki lay perfectly still, blinking slowly. "I guess I'm not allowed to sleep anymore."

"I can protect you. I mean it."

"Hm." She didn't even look at Eitsu.

Somehow, this was worse than that look she gave, that night in the garden, several lifetimes ago...

"Tsu-bo... Tsubaki. Can I talk to you? Aya-chan, can you-"

"I don't want to," Tsubaki interrupted.

"... I'm sorry."

"For what? You don't even know what you should be sorry for!"

"Ayame-chan? Please?"

The little girl backed away nervously. Before the dancer could call her back, Eitsu interlaced her fingers through Tsubaki's, and squeezed gently. "I was... your first love?"

She felt Tsubaki's fingers go rigid, her breath go shallow, her gaze fixed. She squeezed again, rubbing the back of the dancer's hand against her own cheek and stroking her hair. "And then... it gave you a shock, seeing Rei and I in the garden... Why did you lie and say you didn't know who Rei was, Tsu-bo? And you came running barefoot..."

Far from being soothed by the gentle caresses, Tsubaki's breath began to judder in and out of her. And then she made a sound, like something breaking, and a high-pitched keening was squeezed out of her. Next moment, she was clawing desperately at the collar of her robes as though they were too tight, and what little air was making it to her lungs was forced out again in hysterical sobs. Ayame came charging back.

"Tsubaki-dono! What did you do to her?!"

"She's panicking, little one. Stay calm. Tsu-bo, there's nothing wrong. I'm not accusing you of anything."

"I'ma bad person! I'm a bad person!" The dancer's beautiful face was contorted with fear and anxiety. Tears soaked her face. "That's why- you keep- leav-leaving me! I'm wrong! I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

"Tsu-bo..." Eitsu kissed her forehead softly, and squeezed her hand again. "Feel this? And this? Aren't I here right now?"

"You'll leave again! Don't leave m- Don't die! Please, I'll do- any- thing... Just don't- don't die- again..."

Her breaths were strangled sobs. Shivering and coughing, her lips seemed to be turning blue. Eitsu rocked her back and forth, arms firmly around her. "I'm not going. I'm not dying. I won't die. I'll find out the truth of what's going on, and I'll deal with it, and it'll be fine. We'll be fine. I'll bother you for the rest of your life."

It seemed that Tsubaki had run out of air. Her whole body shook violently as her spasming throat spat out air harshly. Ayame had her fist in her mouth to try and muffled her own sobs. Eitsu closed her eyes and murmured low directly into Tsubaki's ear. "I'm here, Tsu-bo. I'm right here. Don't think of the past, or a maybe future. I'm here."

With one last tremble, the panic finally released its grip on Tsubaki's throat, and she gasped aloud, and a flood of tears followed. She howled as if wounded. Eitsu swiftly picked her up, nodded to Ayame to take the box, and hurried further into the forest, away from the road and its travellers.

They halted after a little way. Tsubaki's eyes were unfocused and her breathing uneven. She clung to Eitsu's robes.

"Sorry, Ayame-chan. Can you wait over there again? I promise it won't take long. Stay in sight though."

The little servant obediently did as she was told. Eitsu watched her guiltily, then turned to the woman in her arms.

"Tsu-bo? Will you talk to me now?"

Tsubaki's response was to cover her face with her hands. She bit her lip.

"Tsu-bo?"

"...th lif..."

"What was that?"

"Your... fourth life."

"... You want me to retrieve its memories?"

There was no response except a desperate drawing together of the eyebrows. Eitsu couldn't see the rest of Tsubaki's expression but-

"You don't really want me to look, do you?"

"You... did nothing wrong. Of... Of course! How were you suppose to know about...? And anyway, there was never anything between...?" She pulled herself shakily from Eitsu's embrace, and bowed until her head touched the ground. "This unworthy human dared to... dared to..."Her fingers dug into the loam of the forest floor.

"What is it you want from me, Tsubaki? Tell me."

"Nothing, Kami-sama. Only that you live a long life."

"You're really bad at lying. What's so important about the fourth life?"

"... Kami-sama should observe for herself, and then pass judgement."

"So you won't tell me. You think you did something... Did I know what you did?" She watched the crown of Tsubaki's head, her scratching fingers. "Sit up, Tsu-bo."

The woman sat up, but she kept her face hidden behind her long hair. Her tugging earlier had loosened the collars of her robes. The faint, heart-shaped birthmark on her neck peeked shyly at Eitsu.

"You look like a vengeful ghost. Show me your face?"

"... I'm a vengeful ghost."

"Well I'm a yokai so you're in good company. Tsu-bo, did I know what you did?"

"...yes, Kami-sama."

"Why the heck are you 'Kami-sama'-ing me now? It's weird. And how did I react when I found out?"

"You were angry, as you should be."

"And then?"

No reply.

"So in the end, you're forcing me to look for myself."

"I'm a coward. I can't... even confess my sin to my Kami."

"What are you scared of, Tsu-bo?"

It was getting dark, and Tsubaki looked exhausted. Eitsu abandoned her interrogation. "Come on, let's find somewhere comfortable to stay the night. I'll set up a barrier. Aya-chan looks ready to fall over."

She held out her hand to the dancer to help her up, but Tsubaki, face still averted, rose by herself, a little unsteadily, tucking her hands into her sleeves. Eitsu sighed and called to Ayame.

"Aya-chan, we're going to find somewhere to stay the night. Come on."

After walking for another half hour, a well-maintained road branched off from the main route they had been travelling. There was well-carved sign over this new road with writing on it, and an avenue of plum trees lead up a mountain.

"'Ka-mure-ha'¹華山派 (hana san ha) – the Mount Faa / Mount Hua Sect. Written words can have multiple pronunciations, hence Tsubaki's initial chose of words.,"Tsubaki read.

Eitsu frowned. "As in...?"

"As in 'brilliance' or... maybe 'flower'? 'Mountain' and... 'school'?"

"... Hanasanha. I think I've heard of this place. They're martial artists with great skills whose tales are told all over the world. Travelling cats who had been here told me about them... Hawk Eyes, the man who could destroy mountains. The Jade Exorcist, who fought in the Great Demon War. And the Two Stars, who defeated an evil together... Legend says they were very pretty, but I think none can beat my Tsu-bo, hm?"

Even this light teasing garnered no response. Ayame glanced anxiously at the dull-eyed Tsubaki, and then at Eitsu, who shook her head, then backed up until she pushed the dancer off balance and had her perched piggy-back.

"There's no way you're climbing all those stairs. Sorry, Aya-chan, you'll have to walk."

They began the climb. Even Eitsu began to feel drained; with all that had happened, and with a refuge just before them, she could feel her legs getting wobbly. At last, she put Tsubaki down and rested on the steps. Night had fully fallen by now, with only the light of a crescent moon. This was fine for Eitsu, but the two humans looked about warily.

"Give me a moment. I'll be ready to go again soon."

"Ayame." Tsubaki finally spoke. "Do you know how the girls say that I was blessed with luck?"

"Ah, yes, Tsubaki-dono. You have... You... had such a good life..."

"It's true. I was blessed by the kami of luck."

"Really?"

"Mhm. Shall I teach you how to pray to her? Maybe she will help us get to a bed and some food faster."

I'm right here, Eitsu thought drily, watching with amusement as the two humans clapped their hands three times.

"Omanekineko, please hear my earnest request. Please keep every safe tonight. Please help us arrive where we need to go. I offer you my unworthy self, my devotion." Tsubaki opened her eyes to the worried-looking Ayame. "You don't need to be so serious with your offering, Ayame. You're only a child. Kami-sama is... very indulgent with children."

So you knew, you little brat. Eitsu's golden eyes were soft, and they glowed a little in the dark. She could feel the energy returning to her. Your self and your devotion, huh?

"I should show my sincerity too," Ayame announced. "This is my most prized possession. Please take it, Omanekineko kami-sama!" She drew the camellia kanzashi from her hair and held it aloft as if expecting a god to appear and take it from her hands. She almost jumped when someone did.

"Tsu-bo... Tsubaki-san is right, Aya-chan. This Kami is very indulgent of children. You don't need to give up your most precious item." She tucked the kanzashi back into the girl's hair bun. "Look after it well, okay?"

"Who's there?" A cry rang out from a little further up the mountain. The three travellers turned to see a small patrol of martial artists descending the steps, bearing lights formed of ki²気 (ki)– spiritual energy, known in Zyu as 氣 (hei3) and in Xiǎng as 气 (qì).. Tsubaki bowed and almost fell.

"We're travellers in need of refuge tonight," she said, and then remembered that they were speaking different languages. The patrol members conversed between themselves, then gestured for trio to follow two of the martial artists back up the mountain. One of them offered to carry Ayame, while Eitsu carried Tsubaki. They made quick progress to a gate, where the martial artist called out to a guard. At last, they entered a closed compound with the odd words 'Anti-Light Arts School'³反光術教 (han kou jutsu kyou) – they are reading this as Yamato-go speakers. When read by a person who speaks Zyu or Xiǎng, it reads 'Reflective Arts School'. on the overhead sign, and a martial arts disciple met them with halting words from the Yamato tongue. Finally, intentions understood, they were given chicken rice porridge, with apologies that there was nothing else at that time since dinner had long passed, and shown to a small room with two beds. Tsubaki and Ayame were asleep instantly. Eitsu sat in the middle of the room, the pelt of her fourth life in her hands. The grey fur was feather-soft. She gazed into her own eyeless sockets and thought of Rei.

What is it that you want?

She took a deep breath, gripping the fur, and hoped that somewhere in one of her lives, she had found the answer.