That day, in the bureau of soul management, hell was raised. It is not often that the department of prediction makes a mistake, it’s so rare, in fact, that none currently living have even heard of such a possibility, so when a BIG client was also involved? Carnage.
What else could be wrong? How many souls were automatically mishandled by the systems? Avery single person working, even the interns, were forced to go through every soul for the past Thousands of years. There are many long-lived races, after all.
One of the top bosses, whose career as one of the chairmen was basically guaranteed, didn’t help the situation by bearing down on everyone.
The only person who not only suffered for it, but even benefited, was Knealineurmarrupgreepie Cherzhtinogidirskaya Papurqmperekkonen, or as his friends called him, Crerz. Cherz wasn’t some higher up, aiming for a position on the board himself. He couldn’t dream of it, not when he was so happy to finally get a job, albeit a weird one.
While Cherz didn’t have a higher education, or any formal education for that matter, he did have a knack for computers and a misdemeanor on his criminal record for creating a virus that wished people happy birthday, that somehow got even into government and military systems. Thankfully, it being benign enough and him still not being an adult resulted in nothing really coming of it, but getting a job was extremely hard for him.
So, imagine his surprise when he opened his email, and noticed a letter from the government. His first thought? ‘Oh no, not again…’ His second? ‘Wait, hired? Me?!’ And indeed, the letter header read, “You have been Hired by DSM”.
Cherz couldn’t believe his eyes. Before even opening the letter, he checked the sender address, rebooted into a virtual machine, closed all his doors and windows, and even checked his entire house for bugs and cameras. So finally, after five whole hours, he sat back down, and opened the letter. And his day became great.
Despite the position field being empty and notes containing nothing but legalese for “This never happened”, he had both a date, a place, and a case code which passed the checks when put into their website. He wasn’t worried about the irregularities, as whatever the government wanted him for, would most likely be barely legal, so the secrecy was understandable. He could probably even bet that it wasn’t even DSM he would work for.
Nonetheless, Cherz prepared. He needed them even more than they needed him.
So the next day, the email deleted, his drives in his backpack, all his computers in a nondescript storage near the end of town, a fake body in his room, and a mechanism to set his apartment on fire with a single text message, he entered the intimidating building. He was always ready to run, but From the government, not To them.
“Hi, I’m here for the meeting? I’m a little early, but that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”
Cherz tactically ignored the empty lobby, and all the furniture being brand new and a little mismatched. He also ignored the receptionist calling him by name and knowing what meeting he was talking about, despite him being three hours early. He also ignored the elevator both arriving and moving without his input. And the fact that it was moving down, despite the buttons only showing five floors up. Or the length of the ride. Cherz was good at knowing when to ignore some things.
When the elevator stopped, his suspicions were partially confirmed, though not fully. There were no guards guiding him, and in front of the elevator was a chair, upon which lay a printed fire escape plan, with a hastily drawn path to his destination. And while that explained how the receptionist knew what meeting he was talking about, it didn’t calm him one bit as he followed the map.
Cherz started straightening his hoodie, when he heard a voice from inside,
“No need for that, this is an informal meeting.”
Struggling, but succeeding in hiding his surprise, he opened and stepped through the door. In front of him was a small but cozy office, decorated with awards and medals, all of them being military related. At the end of the room stood an old table behind which sat a jolly man, with a loose haircut and a slight bit of chub being at odds with his green uniform. He sat on a big leather chair, with another one being on his side of the table. He motioned for Cherz to sit down, which he did.
“So, Cherz… can I call you that?”- the man asked, in a surprisingly light tone. Cherz, of course, nodded in agreement.
“So, while your preparations before coming here are appreciated, they weren't actually needed, so don’t worry, you aren’t disappearing anywhere.”
While Cherz wanted to question how they knew about that, he already knew the answer, and as such just allowed himself to be relieved.
“You’re reacting better than most, good job kid. But as I was saying, while you aren’t disappearing, you are moving, so we will just send some people to clean up and pick up your stuff, and you’re getting on the express lane to the capital.”
While far from ideal, the only thing Cherz would truly miss is his neighbor's pies.
“Oh, and your neighbor, Miss.Ellencengekammenende is coming with you. Normally, she would be assigned to another position, or retire due to her age, but due to her being worried for you, combined with your bond with her, allowed me to pull some strings to get her to work under you. So don’t worry about the pies.”
Cherz was shocked. Genuinely shocked. All those years, was it all a lie? No, obviously not, otherwise she wouldn’t be worried about him? Or maybe it’s still just a ploy? No, he can’t go down that rabbit hole.
“Heh, that’s the reaction I was expecting from you. And don’t worry. She was actually supposed to retire years ago, but decided to keep going to take care of you. She constantly brags that you are like a grandkid to her. And before you ask, I’m the head-honcho for this town, so of course I heard plenty of you. I actually use that modified version of your first virus to print birthday cards. Mighty useful, I say.”
Cherz was speechless, both from shock, confusion, and the apparent affection from Miss Takk. The fact that what he made for petty revenge is being used by someone? He didn’t even dare to revolt against them having access to his files, he was so happy that his work helped somebody.
“So, kid. Get that jaw off the floor, and get something in you. I know you didn't eat anything after getting the message. The canteen is to the left and down the hall, you won't miss it. Somebody will pick you up in a couple of hours and get you on the road. Now git!”
Standing up, Cherz finally spoke up for the first time since entering the elevator.
“So what will be the job?”
“Not sure myself. One thing for sure is that it wasn’t a lie that you will be working for those soul nerds. As for the work itself? I heard it’s got to do with some sort of system.”
